Archive for the ‘Reviews’ Category
Thursday, July 12th, 2012
Face it everybody, the nerds won. They had their revenge and then they burned down the village and took a shit on the throne and built a statue of some Japanese animation robot in the capital and made everybody bow to it and make offerings of Firefly episode guides. This week is Nerd History Week as well as the annual San Diego International Comics Con. I have never been to it but I know all about it because of Entertainment Weekly magazine and all of the other coverage. I do remember the zoo in San Diego was pretty good, that was not mentioned in the articles, that’s just a bit of personal experience, you know? The kind of thing you gotta live.
Anyway as a writer and reader on the films of cinema I cannot escape hearing about the convention, as most of my internetting colleagues attend every year and write about their favorite halls and panels and how much they hate their hard job of going to some crowded place and waiting in lines. I know I probly don’t have the salt to do it myself and that’s why I have chosen instead to stay at home at a regular job for low wages.
(read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: Brooke Shields, Diana Scarwid, Freddie Francis, Jeffrey Tambor, Johnny Mandel, the Nerdening of America, Timothy Dalton, Tony Peck
Posted in Comic strips/Super heroes, Reviews | 24 Comments »
Wednesday, July 11th, 2012
I never heard of this one until the good ol’ Criterion Collection put it out a few months ago. I was intrigued by the title, which seems to indicate that it is about a trio of samurai who are each outlaws of some kind. And it’s a well-chosen title because that is exactly what it’s about.
It’s a Japanese picture from 1964, so it’s shot in beautiful black and white. It’s the directational debut of Hideo Gosha, whose next movie SWORD OF THE BEAST was also released by Criterion. The story involves three elderly peasants who kidnap the magistrate’s daughter and keep her hostage in a mill. Shit is real bad for the 8 clans in the area and the magistrate won’t listen to their appeals so they got desperate. Some JOHN Q type shit. (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: Criterion Collection, samurai
Posted in Action, Reviews | 20 Comments »
Tuesday, July 10th, 2012
“Hey shithead. What’s the big idea, bringing this coffin here?”
So there are around 30 spaghetti westerns (and one Tarantino movie) that use the name “Django,” but none of them are official sequels except 1987’s DJANGO 2: IL GRANDE RITORNO, aka DJANGO STRIKE AGAIN or DJANGO RIDES AGAIN or D2ANGO. Franco Nero returns as Django. Sergio Corbucci was supposed to return as director, but backed out and just got a story credit. The director is Nello Rossati, who doesn’t seem to be a big name director but did direct a movie called DON’T TOUCH THE CHILDREN!
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Tags: Donald Pleasence, Franco Nero, spaghetti westerns
Posted in Reviews, Western | 11 Comments »
Monday, July 9th, 2012
Django is a little more demonic than most of your spaghetti western anti-heroes. Obviously those guys are never fuckin Roy Rogers. They’re dirty and scary and sometimes even the titles of the movies are trying to warn you about them (GOD FORGIVES… I DON’T!, RUN, MAN, RUN!, IF YOU MEET SARTANA PRAY FOR YOUR DEATH, GO AWAY! TRINITY HAS ARRIVED IN EL DORADO, etc.). But this guy Django…
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Tags: Franco Nero, Sergio Corbucci, spaghetti westerns
Posted in Reviews, Western | 46 Comments »
Saturday, July 7th, 2012
SAVAGES is the new crime film from Oliver Stone, about two young idealistic pot entrepreneurs taking on a ruthless Mexican cartel (which is one of the most common types of cartels). The tale is narrated to us by O (GREEN LANTERN’s girlfriend Blake Lively) who is the shared lover of botany genius/philanthropist Ben (Aaron KICKASS Johnson) and Iraq vet/muscle-of-the-operation Chon (Taylor JOHN CARTER Kitsch). The two grew up together as surf bums in Laguna Beach and then one day decided to bring home marijuana seeds from Afghanistan and create a new strain. And the shit blew up like Apple. (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: Aaron Johnson, Benicio Del Toro, Blake Lively, Demian Bichir, Don Winslow, Emile Hirsch, John Travolta, Oliver Stone, Salma Hayek, Shane Salerno, Shea Whigham, Taylor Kitsch
Posted in Crime, Reviews | 62 Comments »
Thursday, July 5th, 2012
During my intense POLICE ACADEMY research I learned that 2 years after part 1, story writer Neal Israel directed a movie called COMBAT ACADEMY. I don’t know if you can tell by just glancing at that title, but according to my calculations POLICE ACADEMY and COMBAT ACADEMY share one word and have the same syllable count. The cover uses the same font from the POLICE ACADEMY posters (and internal documents within the movies – look for that) and also the same sort of Mad Magazine style realistic painting of characters cartoonishly crowded together doing wacky things. I’m not sure if it’s an actual Drew Struzan, but if not it’s obviously based on that style. And Robert Folk did the music.
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Tags: Bernie Kopell, George Clooney, Jamie Farr, John Ratzenberger, Keith Gordon, Neal Israel, Richard Moll, Wally Langham
Posted in Comedy/Laffs, Reviews | 22 Comments »
Wednesday, July 4th, 2012
After Steve Guttenberg floated away from the series in a hot air balloon they still made three more POLICE ACADEMYs without him. I think it would’ve been cool if every once in a while they cut to him still in the balloon looking down and smiling, like “Oh, you rascals, you sure know how to prank Captain Harris!” But I guess he was above that. Or maybe just Sharon Stone wouldn’t do it. (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: Christopher Lee, Claire Forlani, Kenneth Mars, Matt McCoy, Ron Perlman
Posted in Comedy/Laffs, Reviews | 37 Comments »
Tuesday, July 3rd, 2012
“Frank – this is more fun than killing yourself, right?”
“Uh… yeah, I guess.”
Bobcat Goldthwait’s latest directorial work is sort of a primal scream or a cathartic punching of a wall. Like SLEEPING DOGS LIE and WORLD’S GREATEST DAD it has an outrageous high concept premise, but it goes more where you expect than those ones do. It’s fun, though.
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Tags: Bobcat Goldthwait, Joel Murray
Posted in Comedy/Laffs, Reviews | 49 Comments »
Sunday, July 1st, 2012
As we learned last week in this Comedy & Laffs Marathon, Bobcat Goldthwait directed SHAKES THE CLOWN in 1991, then sort of disappeared from the movie world. He was still doing shit, like touring as the opening act for Nirvana and getting in trouble for lighting Jay Leno’s set on fire (as most comedians were doing in the ’90s, if I remember right). But he stayed away from directing until he started doing TV shows in the 2000s.
SLEEPING DOGS LIE (2006) started out as a script he wrote but knew nobody else would ever make. So his wife convinced him to take the plunge into no budget independent filmmaking. He literally hired the crew on Craigslist. (That’s why he wasn’t making movies in the ’90s – he would’ve had to use AOL or Prodigy or something.) Luckily the movie got into Sundance, got him some respect and now this is what he does is write scripts nobody else would ever make and then make them.
Here’s why he knew nobody else would make it: it’s a deeply-felt relationship dramedy entirely revolving around the lead character (Melinda Page Hamilton) having once given her dog a blowjob. I know, but hear me out. It happens in the opening scene. She’s home alone, reading a book, probly had a couple glasses of wine, the dog is laying there, she gets a mischievous look on her face…
ah, shit. I can’t explain it. There is no rational justification. But she does it. (Off screen, thank the Lord.)
(read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: bestiality, Bobcat Goldthwait, Bryce Johnson, Melinda Page Hamilton
Posted in Comedy/Laffs, Drama, Reviews | 17 Comments »
Thursday, June 28th, 2012
From the time I heard about the book Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter until the second before I saw the trailer for the movie version, I had no interest in the concept. Yeah, I get it – history and horror cliches moosh-up. Wocka wocka wocka. But one second later I saw that trailer and I realized that I hadn’t gotten it at all. As far as you could tell from the trailer, this movie was gonna be treated dead serious. A historical drama that for some reason is also a horror action movie. It looked amazing.
(read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: Abraham Lincoln, Alan Tudyk, Anthony Mackie, Benjamin Walker, Civil War, Dominic Cooper, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Rufus Sewell, Seth Grahame-Smith, Tim Burton, Timur Bekmambatov, vampires
Posted in Action, Horror, Reviews | 66 Comments »
