Posts Tagged ‘Ernie Hudson’

Game of Death (2011)

Wednesday, January 5th, 2011

tn_gameofdeath11Well, here we are with another new layer forming on top of The Mystery of Wesley Snipes. As of this writing Mr. Snipes recently started his 3 year bid for misdemeanor failure-to-file charges. This is the first but not last of his in-the-can DTV productions.

Unfortunately it’s not worth getting excited about. But when it was first announced it seemed promising, because it was gonna be directed by Abel BAD LIEUTENANT: ORIGINAL PORT OF CALL Ferrara, who last worked with Snipes on KING OF NEW YORK. That’s a guy with a strong voice and raw gritty feel, who at the very least you wouldn’t expect to make it generic. And he’d have a soundtrack by Schooly D. Unfortunately Ferrara left, the schedule was shortened and the script reworked on the fly for Italian TV director Giorgio Serafini.

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Best of the Best 4: Without Warning

Friday, July 30th, 2010

tn_bestofthebest4BEST OF THE BEST 4: WITHOUT WARNING finds our hero Tommy Lee (still Phillip Rhee, also directing again) wandering into yet another action movie subgenre – this time he’s the reluctant badass who gets stuck trying to stop a plot by heavily armed, highly organized commandos. So it’s DIE HARD in a BEST OF THE BEST. In the three years since part 3 Tommy’s had a daughter and had a wife pass away. All he wants to do is bake his daughter a cake for her birthday, but coincidentally his friend at the mini-mart who he asks for baking advice has a computer expert daughter who’s fleeing from Russian counterfeiters with a disc they just stole. And of course Tommy ends up stuck with the disc and everybody trying to kill him. (more…)

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Smokin’ Aces 2: Assassin’s Ball

Monday, January 18th, 2010

tn_smokinaces2SMOKIN’ ACES 2: ASSASSIN’S BALL is the rare DTV sequel that leaves 2 (two) obvious openings for porn parody titles, not to mention having the word “ass” in it twice. In that sense it is absolutely groundbreaking. The idea of a DTV sequel to a movie that not one single person in the world is passionate about is not as unusual (see: THE MARINE 2, BEHIND ENEMY LINES 2-3, THE ART OF WAR trilogy, etc.), but I guess technically this one is a prequel (it refers to a dead character as if alive). So this might actually be a historic milestone, I’m not sure.

I remember seeing a preview screening of SMOKIN’ ACES, and even those I-will-stand-in-line-for-several-hours-to-see-literally-any-piece-of-garbage-movie-as-long-as-it-is-free passholes seemed to hate it. But I have to admit I mostly enjoyed it because it had so many funny and audacious moments peeking out from beneath the big mess of a so-called story. The movie really doesn’t work, but I wanted it to because there were some real good parts. That’s what I think. And in the ensuing years I honestly haven’t met one single person who would give it that much. (more…)

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The Substitute

Friday, September 11th, 2009

tn_substituteSince Labor Day was last Monday I figure the kids are either back in school or about to go back to school, so I might as well do VERN’S BACK TO SCHOOL SPECIAL. And if I’m gonna do that there is one movie that I would have to be a fuckin moron not to start with. And I’m not talking about BACK TO SCHOOL.

THE SUBSTITUTE is not necessarily a great action movie. It doesn’t have any particularly memorable action scenes or anything. But I really like this movie for the simple fact that the idea behind it – combining a mercenaries/drug gangs action movie with a DANGEROUS MINDS style white-teacher-makes-a-difference-in-the-big-city movie – is flat out brilliant, a once-in-a-cinematic-history opportunity. Seriously, I sit around trying to think of genre combinations this absurd and yet this natural. There aren’t many left. (more…)

Snoop Dogg’s Hood of Horror

Wednesday, January 17th, 2007

First there was BRAM STOKER’S DRACULA. Then there was MARY SHELLY’S FRANKENSTEIN. Now, finally, we have SNOOP DOGG’S HOOD OF HORROR. In this case though the man in the title is not the author of the work, but the host, a duty he first mastered in that other great film with his name in the title, SNOOP DOGG’S DOGGYSTYLE.

You guys had a test screening review of HOOD OF HORROR a long time ago. Since then I guess it played that “AFTER DARK HORROR FEST” thing which I’m sure most of you also boycotted due to 1. lack of interest 2. not wanting to validate all those web advertisements with the annoying screaming sounds. I read somewhere this one was going to get an actual, legitimate more than 2-days type theatrical release, and I can’t find a release date for the DVD anywhere. So I guess we gotta assume the DVD screener I watched was for Academy Award consideration. Good luck Snoop, I’m rooting for you.

The crudely animated opening tells the story of Devon (played by a sequential series of drawings of Snoop), a gangster who accidentally kills his little sister in a drive-by shooting. To set things straight he makes a deal with a demon and/or devil. In exchange for his sister coming back to life, he will host a horror anthology. Also he does the theme song, not sure if that was part of the deal or just something he did because he believed in the project.

So now Devon is in live action, he gets a pair of gold braids and a throne in Hell which, it turns out, looks like a small warehouse where you would shoot a low budget rap video. His curse is to hang out with the damned and tell them moralistic horror stories until they’re redeemed. Like most anthologies these stories are a mixed bag, but nabbing Snoop as the host and giving him this backstory was a stroke of the ol’ genius. The guy is so charismatic strutting toward the camera flanked by his demonic hoes and his midget sidekick Half Pint, asking us, “Y’all ready for some crazy shit?” And just in the first 5 or 10 minutes of the movie we get a pretty good selection of crazy shit: animated Snoop calling a demon the n-word, Half Pint puking a bunch of blood on the floor, Devon promising his “legless homey Footloose” a shoe endorsement deal. The movie doesn’t live up to this great opening, but it’s able to coast on it for a while, so I had fun. (more…)