Archive for the ‘Bruce’ Category
Monday, April 1st, 2013
GI JOE: THE RISE OF COBRA was a stupid fucking movie from a shitty director. I loved it. It was just so un-self-consciously ludicrous that it was hard not to enjoy. Like a hyperactive little kid that you would never want to be a parent to but just seeing him jump around giggling for a minute makes you laugh.
The directionist was Stephen “THE MUMMY” Sommers, a veteran of loud, dumb, rhythm-less and weirdly low rent big budget summer blockbuster type movies. The guy couldn’t direct his way through a “DIRECTORS ONLY” door, but he’s excited enough about ninjas and funny masks and shit that he accidentally made a fun one. I would say he made RISE OF COBRA fun not so much through his talents as through a series of coincidences. (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: Adrianne Palicki, Arnold Vosloo, Bruce, Bruce Willis, Byung-hun Lee, Channing Tatum, DJ Cotrona, Elodie Yung, Jon M. Chu, Jonathan Pryce, Ray Park, Ray Stevenson, RZA, The Rock, Walton Goggins
Posted in Action, Bruce, Reviews, Science Fiction and Space Shit | 95 Comments »
Thursday, February 14th, 2013
I know Valentine’s Day is a made-up greeting card company holiday, but that doesn’t mean I can’t celebrate by watching the notoriously bad Bruce Willis sex movie that you guys voted #1 in the outlawvern.com “Review Suggestions” feature. If my movie watching happens to match up with the agendas of Hershey’s Chocolate and the local florists then so be it. It seemed right anyway.
I never saw this before. Of course I knew its reputation. It won “Worst Picture” from those Razzies assholes but also Best Sex Scenes of All Time from those Maxim assholes. So I was surprised when I watched the opening scene. A woman is getting dressed and putting on makeup. She’s very manic and keeps freaking out and having a fit. She messily smears lipstick all over her mouth. She gets her purse and starts to put a handgun in it, for protection I assume. But then she hesitates, thinks about it, puts it in her mouth instead. Real suddenly, as if on a whim.
But then she decides not to blow her brains out. She decides to give the gun a blowjob. And that’s where director Richard Rush (THE STUNT MAN) decided to put his director’s credit. If I had known it was gonna be nuts like this I would’ve watched this a long time ago. (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: Billy Ray, Brad Dourif, Bruce, Bruce Willis, erotic thriller, Jane March, Kevin J. O'Connor, Lance Henriksen, Lesley Ann Warren, Richard Rush, Ruben Blades, Scott Bakula
Posted in Bruce, Mystery, Reviews | 45 Comments »
Thursday, February 14th, 2013
A GOOD DAY TO DIE HARD is directed by John Moore. His previous films are BEHIND ENEMY LINES, FLIGHT OF THE PHOENIX, THE OMEN REMAKE, and MAX PAYNE. Not great. The screenplay is solely credited to Skip Woods. His entire previous filmography is THURSDAY, SWORDFISH, HITMAN, X-MEN ORIGINS: WOLVERINE and THE A-TEAM. So… this is what happens.
I love DIE HARD like I love air, and nothing is as good as it. But I’m easier on the sequels than most people. I feel like we made an agreement as soon as we were okay with The Same Shit Happening To the Same Guy Twice that we would accept increasing levels of absurdity in order to continue our relationship with John McClane. I kinda hold the sequels separate from the original in my mind. They’re not untouchable, but I enjoy watching them.
(read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: Bruce, Bruce Willis, Cole Hauser, Jai Courtney, John Moore, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, post-action, Rash Bukvic, Russia, Skip Woods
Posted in Action, Bruce, Reviews | 216 Comments »
Tuesday, October 9th, 2012
LOOPER is the new time travel related science fictional picture by Bruce Willis. But due to scheduling conflicts Bruce is only in part of the movie, most of the time he’s played by Joseph Gordon-Levitt (SHADOWBOXER) with a fake nose. This one is written and directed by Rian Johnson, the guy that did BRICK.
“Looper” is a made up futuristic word similar to how “Rian” is a made up spelling of a real name. I’m not buying either one. But I did like the movie. (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: Bruce, Bruce Willis, Emily Blunt, Garett Dillahunt, Jeff Daniels, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Paul Dano, Rian Johnson, time travel
Posted in Bruce, Reviews, Science Fiction and Space Shit | 71 Comments »
Sunday, August 19th, 2012
THE EXPENDABLES 2 is a sequel to THE EXPENDABLES. It is the second one. And all that that implies.
Like part 1 it has an incredible cast of action stars that you never thought could all be in a movie together, making a movie that is not worthy of all of them being together but does get by on the strength of, you know… those guys are all in it.
(read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Bruce, Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris, Jason Statham, JCVD, Jet Li, Liam Hemsworth, Nan Yu, Randy Couture, Scott Adkins, Simon West, Sylvester Stallone, Terry Crews
Posted in Action, Bruce, Reviews | 311 Comments »
Monday, June 11th, 2012
Now that GI JOE: RETALIATION has become GI JOE: PROCRASTINATION that means the big Bruce Willis movie of the summer to hold us off until EXPENDABLES 2 will have to be Wes Anderson’s MOONRISE KINGDOM. Bruce plays Captain Sharp, head of the Island Police, New Penzance Township, charged with the task of capturing a fugitive – Sam (Jared Gilman), a disturbed young orphan gone AWOL from the Khaki Scouts of North America, Troop 55, to run away with his also disturbed pen pal/girlfriend Suzy (Kara Hayward).
(read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: Bill Murray, Bob Balaban, Bruce, Bruce Willis, Edward Norton, Frances McDormand, Harvey Keitel, Tilda Swinton, Wes Anderson
Posted in Bruce, Comedy/Laffs, Reviews | 76 Comments »
Thursday, September 29th, 2011
From the director that brought you BEATDOWN and the letters that brought you STEP UP comes SETUP, Bruce Willis’s first DTV action movie. (I’m not gonna count ASSASSINATION OF A HIGH SCHOOL PRESIDENT). So I raise a glass to you, Bruce, on this historic occasion. They might’ve meant it to be a theatrical release, but if so they should’ve told that to the guy writing the script (Mike Behrman, GHOST RIDER: INSIDE THE ACTION). Doesn’t seem like he was expecting that level of scrutiny. (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: 50 Cent, Bruce, Bruce Willis, DTV, James Remar, Jenna Dewan, Randy Couture, Ryan Phillippe
Posted in Action, Bruce, Crime, Reviews | 59 Comments »
Wednesday, September 7th, 2011
All the comment threads keep getting eaten up by every new crumb of EXPENDABLES 2 news. I don’t really mind because it’s interesting to me too, but I figured I’d do another post about it so this can be the spot to add up-to-the-minute info in the comments and leave the other threads pure. We all pretty much know the basics of what’s going on but I’m gonna sum it up here, pose a couple of action-nerd questions and then we can discuss if applicable.
(read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: Expendables
Posted in Blog Post (short for weblog), Bruce | 86 Comments »
Tuesday, August 2nd, 2011
Okay, that’s not official, but I’m going by the time honored rule that if the insider Hollywood people report a “short list” of possible directors it will go to one of the worst or least interesting on the list. For example this happened with THE WOLFMAN (Joe Johnston over John Landis, Frank Darabont, Bill Condon). In this case Deadline is reporting three directors people around here like and John Moore. (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: Bruce, Bruce Willis, Joe Cornish, John Moore, Justin Lin, Nicolas Winding Refn
Posted in Blog Post (short for weblog), Bruce, News | 121 Comments »