Ladies and gentlemen, the title is FURIOUS 6. They’ve been advertising it as FAST & FURIOUS 6, and every time I see that I think “if the last one was FAST FIVE then why can’t this be FURIOUS SIX?” Well, the actual movie says FURIOUS 6. And this is not the first time that the THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS series has come through for me. We’re family.
Director Justin Lin returns for his fourth and final installment, and I hope they gave him a hell of a gold watch. When he came along there was this one really enjoyable POINT BREAK ripoff and one ridiculous sequel and he had to follow up without the original cast or characters. The series was left for dead. But he did a great job with TOKYO DRIFT, then reunited Vin Diesel and Paul Walker for FAST AND FURIOUS, then brought back almost the entire team and added The Rock for FAST FIVE. With FURIOUS SIX he takes everything he learned from those movies and supercharges the engine and adds spoilers and shit. Having the whole team (minus Don Omar and Tego Calderon, plus Michelle Rodriguez) together isn’t a novelty the second time around, so to make up for that he kicks the action sequences into ridiculous new extremes. Which is saying alot in a FAST AND FURIOUS – have you seen these movies? (read the rest of this shit…)
Wow, I never would’ve predicted this: THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS has aged well. Or maybe I just wasn’t ready for it back when I first saw it. Skimming over my intentionally pretentious and off-topic original review I can see that I saw it as an attempt to exploit a fad. This is supported by all the old dvd extras (now on blu-ray) which make a huge deal about it being based on a Vibe article about street racing, and how they went to watch races and ran from the cops and all the cars and extras in the car show scenes are real racers who responded to a web posting. They wanted us to know this “street racing” was a real thing happening somewhere at night, and director Rob Cohen and friends are on the front lines ready to show us what’s going down. (read the rest of this shit…)
MACHETE is the story of Machete, a man with alot of machetes. That is why he is named Machete. Danny Trejo (MARKED FOR DEATH, URBAN JUSTICE) stars alongside Steven Seagal, Robert DeNiro, etc.
You take the “the”s out, the title becomes more aerodynamic. This unlikely THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS part 4 combines elements of the previous 3: the characters and tone of part 1, the video game plotting and drug kingpin bad guys of part 2, the director and improved visual style of part 3. Combining all the technologies they’ve developed into a new model.
Part 3 might still be my favorite, with its comprehensive visual tribute to everything that looks cool in Tokyo and its charismatic lead performance by Lucas Black (plus Sonny Chiba bit part, Incredible Hulk car and stupid cameo at the end). I was surprised how much I liked that one and even more surprised how many people I know who have no interest in the series liked it too. (read the rest of this shit…)
There are many arbitrary ways to divide filmatists into two groups. Today I’m gonna separate out the ones who have an obvious vision/theme/style/obsession (good or bad) that can be seen throughout most of their works. For example you can look at your Alfred Hitchcock or your David Lynch or your Roger Vadim and you can usually tell who is responsible for this business. I mean even a Michael Bay or a Kevin Smithee, the lowest of the low, has a signature style. Or you can at least see what the dude was going for there.
Then in the other group we have the commercial or “hack” filmatist who goes from one project to the next just looking for something that might be successful, or that seems cinematic, or that might capture that fuckin zeitgeist thing the germans are always so interested in. Some of these guys might even be decent at the directation of films but they just don’t put that strong of a personal stamp on them. For example you got your John Badham (Saturday Night Fever, Dracula [1979], Short Circuit, Point of No Return) or your Randal Kleiser (Boy in the Plastic Bubble, Grease, The Blue Lagoon, Big Top Pee-Wee, Honey I Blew Up the Kid). Occasionally they make a good picture like Saturday Night Fever but you still have no idea what these clowns are trying to do artistic-wise. They’re just doing a job, like plumbing or washing windows or passing out pizza coupons and gum samples on the street corner. They punch the clock and then they go home. (read the rest of this shit…)
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if that's your thing:
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EXTRA CREDIT: Review them on Amazon! That would really help me out. Unless you didn't like them, in which case forget I said anything.
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THANKS EVERYBODY. YOUR FRIEND, VERN
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Recent commentary and jibber-jabber
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Tim Bobo on Lee Cronin’s The Mummy: “Lee Cronin’s Driving Miss Daisy. Coming in 2029!” Oct 13, 16:36
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Gavolt on Ready or Not 2: Here I Come: “This one was pretty fun. It also forced me to go back and re-watch the first one. I thought I…” Oct 13, 10:06
Alex R on Lee Cronin’s The Mummy: “The title definitely damned the movie, even if it seems to have made decent money. Whatever the reason it’s called…” Oct 13, 10:03
CJ Holden on Office Killer: “Damn, I totally forgot about this! German critics were a bit nicer to it and I was actually planning to…” Oct 13, 08:16
BuzzFeedAldrin on Lee Cronin’s The Mummy: “This was fine. However, like many of you, I keep reading this as Hume Cronyn’s The Mummy, and hope that…” Oct 13, 07:06
Skani on Lee Cronin’s The Mummy: “I believe I read somewhere that Cronin was actually mortified by the title choice. Feel free to fact-check me on…” Oct 13, 06:28
CJ Holden on Lee Cronin’s The Mummy: “It’s pretty obvious that the title is a try to differentiate the movie from the Brendan Fraser ones. The newest…” Oct 12, 22:21
Curt on Lee Cronin’s The Mummy: “Well, JOHN CARPENTER’S HALLOWEEN (as the opening credits have it) was Carpenter’s third feature and first horror movie. So dare…” Oct 12, 20:54
Skani on Lee Cronin’s The Mummy: “Lee Cronin Presents Lee Cronin’s The Mummy: A Lee Cronin Joint.” Oct 12, 17:08
tim Bobo on Lee Cronin’s The Mummy: “I want to meet the person who went and paid for this movie based on the Lee Cronin name. “It’s…” Oct 12, 16:58
RRA on Lee Cronin’s The Mummy: “Fun fact one of the few hits WBD has this year and 2026 was dire for them right before the…” Oct 12, 16:49
Kim Cardassian on Lee Cronin’s The Mummy: “My favorite YouTube channel (Overly Sarcastic Productions, despite they’re title they’re very sincere about their analysis of narrative tropes and…” Oct 12, 14:31
Skani on Lee Cronin’s The Mummy: “I think the title is genius. They’re trying to will him into being a Wes Craven type “brand.” So, less…” Oct 12, 13:26