This is the third time I’ve seen PROMETHEUS. I saw it twice in the theater. It’s one of the most divisive movies in the history of outlawvern.com comments, and I wanted to see how it played after sleeping on it for a while. I still like it and think that its great filmatism overcomes its underlying stupidity. But I’ve got a few new thoughts on it.
We’ve discussed alot of unscientific things these scientists on the Prometheus do, but one I don’t remember thinking about before is that they’re totally jumping to this conclusion that humans were engineered. All they’re going on is the “DNA match,” that “their genetic material predates ours,” but doesn’t that seem more like we evolved from them than they purposely created us? I guess they’re going on the cave paintings, which they assume were made by the Engineers and did in fact lead them to this planet. But I don’t know, I don’t feel like this Engineer theory has been adequately proven. (read the rest of this shit…)
Okay, we’ve had high hopes for this movie for a long time. We’ve tried to avoid finding out too much about it. We have a sense of trust because of its connection to an all-time great movie by this same director but we also hope this is gonna be something new we’ve never seen before. So it has this weird combination of known quantity and total mystery.
Well, it’s a little more familiar than I was hoping but I also think you should just see it fresh so come on man, don’t read this review until you’ve already seen it. This is gonna be all SPOILERS. (read the rest of this shit…)
Steven Soderbergh’s take on an action/spy thriller – built around “The Face of Women’s MMA” Gina Carano after he saw her on Strikeforce while flipping channels around – lives up to my high expectations. It’s written by Lem Dobbs and it’s like the kid sister of THE LIMEY, mixing the style of that Soderbergh classic with kind of a more upbeat ex-Marine-badass-operative-betrayed-and-on-the-run type of story. It has THE LIMEY’s sense of quiet, deliberate pace and dread and also its dry you-just-fucked-with-the-wrong-person type of humor. Of course, professional fighter Carano has different strengths as a performer than Terence Stamp does, so her movie has less emotion and more punching, kicking, choking, armbars, heads broken through furniture, foot chases, etc. Gina’s not gonna mourn the loss of the daughter she never knew, and Terence isn’t gonna climb up onto a roof. In my opinion. And it’s great to have both of them. (read the rest of this shit…)
Huh. Turns out Professor X and Magneto started out working with the CIA. You know what that means, don’t you? PHOENIX WAS AN INSIDE JOB.
X-MEN FIRST CLASS is the new X-MEN prequel that I guess they made to save money on the cast and to appeal to today’s young audiences, who despise baldies and cripples. So Professor Xavier, Magneto, Mystique and Beast return played by younger, hair-sporting, wheelchair-free actors to tell the story of what went down with the mutants during the Cuban Missile Crisis and before the founding of Professor Xavier’s Fancy School For Tots Who Shoot Beams. (read the rest of this shit…)
I can dig a good western, and alot of critics have been saying that JONAH HEX is even better than TRUE GRIT, so I thought I should check it out.
Okay, that’s not entirely true. Also it’s not at all true. Armond White doesn’t count as somebody seriously for real liking JONAH HEX. But I’m a positive individual so I was trying to put a good spin on it. Believe it or not though I don’t have to delve into too much negativity for this review. JONAH HEX is not as bad as I was expecting, or as people have said. It definitely doesn’t work, but I don’t consider it a total abomination. It is beautiful in God’s eyes, it’s only on this earthly plane that it gets bullied because of its deformed face. (read the rest of this shit…)
WAYS YOU CAN SUPPORT THE SHIT OUT OF VERN & OUTLAWVERN.COM
if that's your thing:
1. Patreon
Toss me a couple bucks a month, support the good shit, also get access to a bunch of exclusive writing. This is my primary source of writing money that has allowed me to cut down to part time at the day job. Thank you!
2. Buy my books from your local bookseller or somebody
(NOTE: My ten year contract has passed on the Titan books, so I don't get residuals on them like I do WORM ON A HOOK and NIKETOWN, but I would love for you to read them because I'm proud of them)
EXTRA CREDIT: Review them on Amazon! That would really help me out. Unless you didn't like them, in which case forget I said anything.
3. If you ever buy from Amazon, go through my links or search engines
(you pay the same amount you were gonna pay anyway they cut me a little slice)
I also have an Amazon UK one:
(I can't get the search box widget to work anymore, so click on MOONWALKER and then search for what you want.)
4. My exciting line of fashion and leisure products
(I get a couple bucks per item, you get a cool t-shirt, mug or lifestyle item)
5. Spread the word
Tell your friends about my reviews and my books and everything. Only cool people though please, we don't need a bunch of suckers and/or chumps around here.
THANKS EVERYBODY. YOUR FRIEND, VERN
* * * *
Recent commentary and jibber-jabber
Tim Bobo on Striptease: “Never saw this. But I remember the big story at the time was his much money Demi Moore was paid…” Jul 5, 10:03
Matt McCormick on Masters of the Universe (2026): “I thought the trailer was garbage because it is. Finally got to the movie. Perfect no. But perfect summer movie…” Jul 4, 21:10
Simon Underwood on Striptease: “Watched this again a few years ago when my dad was on a Demi Moore kick after listening to her…” Jul 4, 14:36
grimgrinningchris on Striptease: “I saw this in the theater. Granted, it was in the second run, $1 theater but regardless… It’s certainly no…” Jul 4, 10:00
KayKay on Striptease: “So interestingly, in 1996, Demi Moore made 2 mediocre adaptations of far superior books. This was also the year she…” Jul 4, 07:24
Miguel Hombre on Striptease: “Carl Hiaasen produced a long series of banger novels right up to the late 20teens , but beginning with ‘Razor…” Jul 4, 05:56
CJ Holden on Striptease: “Kids these days have no idea how hated a movie could be in the pre-internet days. There was no social…” Jul 3, 22:26
Franchise Fred on Striptease: “When I was working at the movie theater some of the teenage ushers got in trouble for repeatedly sneaking into…” Jul 3, 17:44
Aktion Figure on Supergirl (2026): “I think the script was just not *there*. It has all the juice but without a stronger hook, if ONLYin…” Jul 3, 16:49
JTS on Striptease: “I also saw this for the first time very recently. After enjoying the Bad Monkey TV series on Apple TV…” Jul 3, 15:46
burningambulance on Striptease: “Carl Hiassen’s books are pretty good — he’s written a whole string of semi-farcical, somewhat cartoonish crime novels set in…” Jul 3, 15:22
MaggieMayPie on Supergirl (2026): “I wasn’t going to comment on this movie, because I really don’t think I have much to say that’s interesting.…” Jul 3, 13:25
Borg9 on Lone Star: “No, you’re right Vern. Sayles is too smart a writer not to know that an incest plotline would connect people…” Jul 3, 13:19
VERN on Lone Star: “Borg9 – I’m not saying it has the same meaning as CHINATOWN, I just saw a critic compare it to…” Jul 3, 12:53
Miguel Hombre on Lone Star: “I have probably been the most consistent voice talking up John Sayles around these parts – apologies if I have…” Jul 3, 12:14