This is the third time I’ve seen PROMETHEUS. I saw it twice in the theater. It’s one of the most divisive movies in the history of outlawvern.com comments, and I wanted to see how it played after sleeping on it for a while. I still like it and think that its great filmatism overcomes its underlying stupidity. But I’ve got a few new thoughts on it.
We’ve discussed alot of unscientific things these scientists on the Prometheus do, but one I don’t remember thinking about before is that they’re totally jumping to this conclusion that humans were engineered. All they’re going on is the “DNA match,” that “their genetic material predates ours,” but doesn’t that seem more like we evolved from them than they purposely created us? I guess they’re going on the cave paintings, which they assume were made by the Engineers and did in fact lead them to this planet. But I don’t know, I don’t feel like this Engineer theory has been adequately proven. (read the rest of this shit…)
Okay, we’ve had high hopes for this movie for a long time. We’ve tried to avoid finding out too much about it. We have a sense of trust because of its connection to an all-time great movie by this same director but we also hope this is gonna be something new we’ve never seen before. So it has this weird combination of known quantity and total mystery.
Well, it’s a little more familiar than I was hoping but I also think you should just see it fresh so come on man, don’t read this review until you’ve already seen it. This is gonna be all SPOILERS. (read the rest of this shit…)
Steven Soderbergh’s take on an action/spy thriller – built around “The Face of Women’s MMA” Gina Carano after he saw her on Strikeforce while flipping channels around – lives up to my high expectations. It’s written by Lem Dobbs and it’s like the kid sister of THE LIMEY, mixing the style of that Soderbergh classic with kind of a more upbeat ex-Marine-badass-operative-betrayed-and-on-the-run type of story. It has THE LIMEY’s sense of quiet, deliberate pace and dread and also its dry you-just-fucked-with-the-wrong-person type of humor. Of course, professional fighter Carano has different strengths as a performer than Terence Stamp does, so her movie has less emotion and more punching, kicking, choking, armbars, heads broken through furniture, foot chases, etc. Gina’s not gonna mourn the loss of the daughter she never knew, and Terence isn’t gonna climb up onto a roof. In my opinion. And it’s great to have both of them. (read the rest of this shit…)
Huh. Turns out Professor X and Magneto started out working with the CIA. You know what that means, don’t you? PHOENIX WAS AN INSIDE JOB.
X-MEN FIRST CLASS is the new X-MEN prequel that I guess they made to save money on the cast and to appeal to today’s young audiences, who despise baldies and cripples. So Professor Xavier, Magneto, Mystique and Beast return played by younger, hair-sporting, wheelchair-free actors to tell the story of what went down with the mutants during the Cuban Missile Crisis and before the founding of Professor Xavier’s Fancy School For Tots Who Shoot Beams. (read the rest of this shit…)
I can dig a good western, and alot of critics have been saying that JONAH HEX is even better than TRUE GRIT, so I thought I should check it out.
Okay, that’s not entirely true. Also it’s not at all true. Armond White doesn’t count as somebody seriously for real liking JONAH HEX. But I’m a positive individual so I was trying to put a good spin on it. Believe it or not though I don’t have to delve into too much negativity for this review. JONAH HEX is not as bad as I was expecting, or as people have said. It definitely doesn’t work, but I don’t consider it a total abomination. It is beautiful in God’s eyes, it’s only on this earthly plane that it gets bullied because of its deformed face. (read the rest of this shit…)
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Recent commentary and jibber-jabber
Asimov on The Replacement Killers: “Spot on about the ‘pose instead of passion’ vibe, Vern. Fuqua got the slick late-90s MTV look down, but it…” Jun 6, 05:32
Franchise Fred on Heavy: “I need to see this again. At the time I thought it was weird that the crush story focused so…” Jun 6, 01:20
MaggieMayPie on Raiders of the Lost Ark: “Wow, thanks for the compliment, Miguel. It’s always nice to know you’re not talking to empty air. And that you’re…” Jun 5, 19:36
Crudnasty on Welcome to the Dollhouse: “When I was growing up, one of my dad’s friends/business partners had a kid my age, so I had to…” Jun 5, 17:44
Tim Bobo on Welcome to the Dollhouse: “Watched it again after Vern’s rave review here. I liked it a lot. That kid who played her brother was…” Jun 5, 14:23
Miguel Hombre on Raiders of the Lost Ark: “Was passing the time with a re-read of Vern’s review and the comments and I should note the always perceptive…” Jun 5, 12:54
Franchise Fred on The Arrival: “I wonder if this was sitting on a shelf and then they knew ID4 was coming out so thought they…” Jun 5, 12:04
Alex R on Dragonheart: “Obviously it was a bigger/better movie than Dragonheart, but Jurassic Park toys kept coming out for years, and there aren’t…” Jun 5, 11:47
CJ Holden on Dragonheart: “In general, specifically since Vern brought up the merchandise action figures that came with many supposed summer blockbusters, I was…” Jun 5, 10:45
Alex R on Dragonheart: “Not a toy guy either and the appeal of that specific figure is clearly the pose, but I do think…” Jun 5, 09:50
Tim Bobo on Dragonheart: “Were kids really clamoring for Dragonheart action figures in the mid 90s? I’d love to know how many of those…” Jun 5, 09:33
Johann Tor on Dragonheart: “I really had fun with this when it came out, and I might have rewatched it once since then. I…” Jun 5, 04:11
VERN on Dragonheart: “In regards to the David Thewlis action figure, he had a non-movie evil dragon he could ride on, so he’s…” Jun 4, 22:54
CJ Holden on The Arrival: “This was a DTV release here, so that definitely gave it an even bigger “Hey, that was actually really cool”…” Jun 4, 13:30
Dreadguacamole on Dragonheart: “There was a D&D movie made in the very late 90s, and it probably owed its existence at least in…” Jun 4, 13:12
Steven Soderbergh’s take on an action/spy thriller – built around “The Face of Women’s MMA” Gina Carano after he saw her on Strikeforce while flipping channels around – lives up to my high expectations. It’s written by Lem Dobbs and it’s like the kid sister of THE LIMEY, mixing the style of that Soderbergh classic with kind of a more upbeat ex-Marine-badass-operative-betrayed-and-on-the-run type of story. It has THE LIMEY’s sense of quiet, deliberate pace and dread and also its dry you-just-fucked-with-the-wrong-person type of humor. Of course, professional fighter Carano has different strengths as a performer than Terence Stamp does, so her movie has less emotion and more punching, kicking, choking, armbars, heads broken through furniture, foot chases, etc. Gina’s not gonna mourn the loss of the daughter she never knew, and Terence isn’t gonna climb up onto a roof. In my opinion. And it’s great to have both of them. 
Huh. Turns out Professor X and Magneto started out working with the CIA. You know what that means, don’t you? PHOENIX WAS AN INSIDE JOB.
I can dig a good western, and 
