"CATCH YOU FUCKERS AT A BAD TIME?"

Lone Wolf McQuade

“Forget it, kid. I work alone.”

You guys know I’m not really big on Chuck Norris. I know, Chuck Norris is so powerful that blah blah blah, something something beard something fist. Good job, internet. Hilarious. He’s famous enough to be considered one of the iconic action stars, but in my opinion he is not on the same level as other Expendables such as Schwarzenegger, Stallone, Willis, Van Damme or non-Expendable Seagal. He doesn’t have as much charisma or as many watchable movies. But I did really dig INVASION U.S.A. and I always heard LONE WOLF MCQUADE was his best or one of his best, so I thought I should watch it in the lead up to his appearance in EXPENDABLES 2: ALSO VAN DAMME.
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August 14th, 2012 | 60 Comments »

Silent Trigger

I hoped this would be one of the better Dolph Lundgren vehicles, because it’s directed by Russell Mulcahy, who used to be so good. This was ’96, his next movie after ’94’s THE SHADOW. I guess this is his punishment, but THE SHADOW is more fun. SILENT TRIGGER is at least watchable, but so are other things that are actually good.
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August 13th, 2012 | 42 Comments »

The Specialist

THE SPECIALIST was Sylvester Stallone’s 1994 offering, a present-day palate cleanser between the futuristic DEMOLITION MAN and JUDGE DREDD. It even says “present day” onscreen after a prologue taking place in Colombia in ’84.

That was when black ops explosives expert Ray Quick (Stallone) had a falling out with his partner-mentor Ned Trent (James Woods). They were trying to assassinate a drug lord but Quick tried to pull the plug when he saw that a little girl was going to get blown up with him. Trent of course doesn’t care, and he gets his way (drug lord and girl both blown to kingdom come) but then the two of them fight about it.
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August 12th, 2012 | 96 Comments »

New features: questions and suggestions

Thanks to the great Clubside Chris, outlawvern.com proudly unveils two new features which I encourage you to try out by clicking in the bar above the post, below the stunning new logo.

1. Suggestions.

This is a thing some of you guys have requested, a way to suggest movies for me to review. It has a weird voting system where you get 10 votes per month to spread between however many suggestions you want. I’m not sure I understand it yet but I think I will once you ladies and gentlemen of the internet start messing with it.

Don’t think I’m gonna be constantly reviewing all of these, ’cause I follow my whims and try to find stuff nobody’s heard of. But I promise I’ll keep an eye on it and do some of the more popular ones or ones that catch my eye.

2. Questions?

This is a thing where you ask a question and other people answer it, and… to be honest I don’t totally understand. I know it’s related to that thing I come across during Google searches where idiots with cartoon avatars ask questions and get terrible advice from other idiots with cartoon avatars. But we’re gonna do a better job, hopefully, with our badass cinema related questions. I’m not sure. But I’m trying it out because Chris’s suggestion to try Twitter seemed stupid at first but turned out to be a good one.

Please try these out if you have a minute and we’ll see if they’re worth keeping.

August 10th, 2012 | 40 Comments »

Boogie Boy

I always root for Mark Dacascos to be in something really good. I love ONLY THE STRONG, and he’s in some other fun ones, like the ridiculous CRADLE 2 THE GRAVE. I’ve watched his movie DRIVE a couple times, not the one with Ryan Gosling but the one with Mark Dacascos. And Kadeem Hardison and Britney Murphy. People used to always try to push that one on me and I never really got into it, but he’s pretty good. He’s a good martial artist. I was always curious about this little known one from 1998 ’cause it’s him starring in some kind of crime movie executive produced by Roger Avary. Could be interesting, right?

Could’ve been. Wasn’t really. But here are a few words about it for the historic record.
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August 9th, 2012 | 18 Comments »

NATURAL BORN KILLERS addendum 2: revised third draft script, 1990, by Quentin Tarantino

After watching the movie again, and then reading about the production again, I realized I really had to go back to the source again in order to really understand it. The script is available at various places online and has also been published in actual book form. And it’s drastically different from the finished movie.

The opening scene is basically the same. Mickey and Mallory in a diner, Mickey eating key lime pie, Mallory dancing to the jukebox (she steals the quarter from a Jerry’s Kids donation jar), some rednecks move in on her and it turns into a bloodbath.
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August 8th, 2012 | 18 Comments »

new look

Just in time for my 13ish year on the “internet” I have decided it’s time for a new look. This is mainly because as I get older my eyes are having a hard time reading the red/grey on black, and partly because a couple years ago a friend of Drew McWeeny wrote and told me he had a seizure while reading one of my reviews. I don’t want to be responsible for any major medical events. Also, I’m trying to be more professional as Christian Bale once suggested was a good thing to do and he is a good actor.

Please thank Clubside Chris for all his work creating this look based on my pain in the ass suggestions, plus the previous fake Geocities look, which will be available in the dropdown menu at the lower right for those who want to stick with it (it might need some fixing but will be operable soon).

Anyway, I hope people and eyeballs enjoy it. We will be trying out some new features too. Suggestions welcome but don’t be an ass.

thanks for reading, everybody

August 7th, 2012 | 55 Comments »

NATURAL BORN KILLERS addendum 1: Killer Instinct

 Killer Instinct: How Two Young Producers Took on Hollywood and Made the Most Controversial Film of the Decade by Jane Hamsher

I got alot of problems with this book, but I kinda recommend reading it if it’s a subject you’re interested in. It’s got some funny stories about Oliver Stone and the crazy antics of Hamsher’s partner Don Murphy, probly best known now as a producer on the TRANSFORMERSes, but I remember his name because of many belligerent message board posts and open letters he’s written over the years. Because I’ve read so many of those it’s hard for me to buy Hamsher’s portrayal of him as a lovable madman, but there are good stories about him that aren’t about him yelling at anybody. I dug the one where it’s the middle of the night after a long hard shoot and he manages to get Oliver Stone and the whole crew excited about staying later for a product placement shot of a truck so they can all get free cowboy boots.
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August 7th, 2012 | 24 Comments »

Natural Born Killers

Years ago I saw NATURAL BORN KILLERS, and I hated it. But that was years ago. Like Woody Harrelson says in the opening scene about the last time he ate key lime pie, I was a different person then. I’ve mellowed over the years. I’m more open to crazy shit and mega-acting. I’m not as strident about certain things. I’m ready to appreciate it as a weird crime movie, maybe, even if it still comes off as a ridiculously heavy-handed message movie about the most obvious fucking message in the world (have you noticed how the media exploits violence?). So let’s give it the same respect we give the pie. Let’s give it its day in court.

Of course, I got no clue why somebody would be skeptical about key lime pie. Maybe that’s the best clue into Mickey Knox’s derangement. Quentin Tarantino sure liked writing about pie when he was young. He wrote the original script this was based on but would only accept a “story by” credit after it was heavily re-written by Oliver Stone, Stone’s buddy Richard Rutowski and David PERMANENT MIDNIGHT Veloz.
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August 6th, 2012 | 91 Comments »

U Turn

Before seeing SAVAGES I wanted to catch up on some of the recent Oliver Stone pictures that I’d skipped. It turns out this one is 15 years old, so you could argue that I’m a little behind on Stone. Do you guys know if JFK is any good? What about PLATOON?

This is his most straight-forward crime genre picture before SAVAGES so I figured it was a good one to check out. Based on the book Stray Dogs by John Ridley (RED TAILS, UNDERCOVER BROTHER), it’s about this dirtbag Bobby (Sean Penn), an ex-tennis player in debt whose fancy-ass car breaks down in the middle of Tiny Desert Town, Hell (actually Superior, Arizona) on his way to delivering a bunch of cash to the guy who cut off some of his fingers, and then things get way worse. But he fucks Jennifer Lopez at least. (read the rest of this shit…)

August 3rd, 2012 | 61 Comments »

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