Archive for the ‘Reviews’ Category
Thursday, January 19th, 2012

HOOK, man. What went wrong? Let’s try to figure it out.
One thing I noticed about HOOK: it’s not called PAN. The title HOOK implies a new perspective on the PETER PAN tale, like we’re gonna see it from the pirate’s perspective, or even like it’s gonna be a Captain Hook biopic. Maybe we would learn about his struggles growing up, how he wrote his first hits, rose to the top of the charts, substance abuse, falling in love, the thing with the crocodile, etc. (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: Dante Basco, Dustin Hoffman, Gwyneth Paltrow, J.M. Barrie, Robin Williams, Steven Spielberg
Posted in Fantasy/Swords, Reviews | 65 Comments »
Tuesday, January 17th, 2012

ALWAYS is very cutesy and sentimental, it’s got some pretty weak comedic bits and it’s definitely the weakest full-length Spielberg I’ve watched in this marathon so far. But it’s still pretty good, and with some things nobody could’ve done as well as Spielberg.
This one’s about the pilots who dump the red stuff on forest fires, and the Tom Cruise of red-stuff-dumpers is former shark expert and Close Encounterer Richard Dreyfus. The Anthony Edwards is John Goodman and the Kelly McGillis is Holly Hunter. Actually, Dreyfus looks kinda like Paul Newman in this one, strutting around in aviators, leather jacket, baseball cap and grey mustache. The point is he thinks he’s awesome, and everybody else agrees. His girl seems to have when are we gonna settle down? type issues, but he makes her happy by buying her a nice dress, something you don’t see around the base much because she’s the only woman there. (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: Audrey Hepburn, Brad Johnson, Douglas Trumbo, firefighters, ghosts, Holly Hunter, John Goodman, Keith David, remakes, Richard Dreyfuss, Roberts Blossom, Steven Spielberg
Posted in Drama, Reviews, Romance | 48 Comments »
Monday, January 16th, 2012

“Excuse me everyone – I surrender!”
Wow – for some reason I never had any interest in EMPIRE OF THE SUN before. Turns out it’s great and sort of a beginning for alot of things. It’s Spielberg’s first WWII drama. One of Christian Bale’s first movies. The one that gave Ben Stiller the idea for TROPIC THUNDER. etc. (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: Ben Stiller, Christian Bale, J.G. Ballard, Joe Pantoliano, John Malkovich, Steven Spielberg, Tom Stoppard
Posted in Drama, Reviews, War | 34 Comments »
Saturday, January 14th, 2012
THE ARTIST is an enjoyable, cleverly made tribute movie by the French director (Michel Hazanavicius) and star (Jean Dujardin) of those O.S.S. 117 movies, which from what I have heard are also enjoyable, cleverly made tribute movies. In this one the guy plays George Valentin, beloved silent film star, on top of the world right before the dawn of the sound era. And then he’s in trouble.
(read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: Berenice Bejo, Ed Lauter, James Cromwell, Jean Dujardin, John Goodman, Michel Hazanavicius, Penelope Ann Miller, silent
Posted in Comedy/Laffs, Reviews | 40 Comments »
Thursday, January 12th, 2012
I haven’t read the Stieg Larsson DRAGON TATTOO books, but I liked the Swedish movies. Or at least the first two. Lisbeth Salander is a cool pulpy heroine, a unique type of badass with an interesting, complex relationship with this reporter dude she’s fucking/investigating with. I enjoyed (if you can call it that) her adventures and hoped things would turn out well for her and her dragon. (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: Christopher Plummer, Daniel Craig, David Fincher, revenge, Robin Wright, Rooney Mara, Steve Zaillian
Posted in Mystery, Reviews | 60 Comments »
Wednesday, January 11th, 2012
For those keeping score, THE SCORPION KING 3: BATTLE FOR REDEMPTION is the sequel to the prequel to the prequel to the sequel to the re-imagining of THE MUMMY. It would’ve been worth reviewing just to point out that important fact, but the truth is I have a sincere interest in the Scorpion King saga. There’s only one movie in that entire lineage that I like alot (THE SCORPION KING starring The Rock), but I believe it’s a series they could do something fun with, even on lower budgets and without The Rock. I believe in hope. I believe America. (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: Billy Zane, Dave Bautista, DTV, DTV sequels, Kimbo Slice, Roel Reine, Ron Perlman, Temuera Morrison, Victor Webster
Posted in Fantasy/Swords, Reviews | 74 Comments »
Tuesday, January 10th, 2012
(KILLER ELITE is enjoyable if unspectacular. Luckily it’s more in the vein of the sort-of-classy studio action thrillers like THE BANK JOB than the gloomy Millennium Pictures joints I halfway expected it to be like. So it co-stars Robert DeNiro, the legendary actor, and not Robert DeNiro, that old man from the 50 Cent movies. But the star is definitely Jason Statham, looking exactly the same in 1980-81 as he does in any other time period (minus the track suit). (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: assassins, Ben Mendelsohn, Clive Owen, Dominic Purcell, Jason Statham, Robert DeNiro, true story
Posted in Action, Reviews, Thriller | 28 Comments »
Saturday, January 7th, 2012

Well, this is depressing. I skipped over Spielberg’s stone cold masterpieces RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK and E.T. OF THE EXTRA-TERRESTRIALS ’cause I’ve seen ’em a bunch before, but decided to watch TWILIGHT ZONE: THE MOVIE because I don’t think I’ve seen it since the ’80s. Turns out it’s Spielberg’s first bad movie, at least for his segment. And that’s small fish compared to John Landis’s, since it was an actual legitimate tragedy that ended lives and derailed a great filmatist. Bummer. Not worth it. (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: anthologies, George Miller, Joe Dante, John Landis, John Lithgow, Kathleen Quinlan, Kevin McCarthy, Scatman Crothers, Steven Spielberg, Vic Morrow
Posted in Horror, Reviews | 71 Comments »
Thursday, January 5th, 2012

This movie has a reputation as kind of a mess. Admittedly it is a 2 1/2 hour broad comedy about paranoia right after the bombing of Pearl Harbor. In my opinion a 2 1/2 hour broad comedy about paranoia right after the bombing of Pearl Harbor was not necessarily one of the top two or three things the world hoped for as Steven Spielberg’s followup to CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE THIRD KIND. But fuck ’em. It’s what they got and they oughta fuckin appreciate it. (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: Christopher Lee, Dan Aykroyd, Eddie Deezen, Joe Flaherty, John Belushi, John Candy, John Williams, Mickey Rourke, Nancy Allen, Ned Beatty, Robert Stack, Sam Fuller, Slim Pickens, Steven Spielberg, Toshiro Mifune, Treat Williams, Warren Oates, WWII
Posted in Comedy/Laffs, Reviews | 69 Comments »
Wednesday, January 4th, 2012

THE SUGARLAND EXPRESS is the feature debut of young TV director Steve Spielberg. It’s hard to think of it as his first real movie when DUEL was so damn good, but officially it’s the first one he made for theatrical release. Things have really changed, haven’t they? You don’t get hungry young up-and-comers starting out in TV and then making a splash in movies. There’s great TV now but it’s not a place for visionary directors.
To commemorate the 2 (two) new Spielberg movies that came out recently I decided to finally get aorund to watching all the Spielberg movies I’ve never actually seen. This is gonna include a couple that you guys will be surprised by because everybody else in the world saw them a long time ago. But mostly it will be the “lesser” Spielbergs. Not JAWS, CLOSE ENCOUNTERS or E.T. (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: Ben Johnson, Goldie Hawn, Steven Spielberg, William Atherton
Posted in Crime, Reviews | 39 Comments »