Archive for the ‘Comedy/Laffs’ Category
Saturday, January 1st, 2000
This is a cartoon but its not for kids and its not Japanese. If you don’t know in japan the cartoons are not only for kids, there is also demon raping, etc.
Bruce plays Muddy Grimes, a scruffly dude not unlike myself who tries to con two dumb heavy metal kids into smuggling a powerful weapon for him. Bruce does not have as much screen time as you would like but the story of these two little pricks Butthead and Beavis is pretty funny. Kind of reminds me of the old pink panthers how they go around and get chased by the FBI and then save the day and have no clue any of this shit went down. (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: Bruce, Bruce Willis, Mike Judge
Posted in Bruce, Cartoons and Shit, Comedy/Laffs, Reviews | 7 Comments »
Saturday, January 1st, 2000
I’m sure most of you motherfuckers know that Rudy Ray Moore is one of the pioneers of independent Cinema, one of the greatest orators of our times and easily the rawest presidential candidate of the last two decades. What you might not know is that in addition to his fine collection of pictures (Dolemite, Petey Wheatstraw, Avenging Disco Godfather, etc.) Mr. Moore has a live concert film in the style of the Eddie Murphy standup pictures he did back when he was trying to copy Richard Pryor instead of dress up in a bunch of funny disguises and fart. (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: Rudy Ray Moore, standup
Posted in Comedy/Laffs, Reviews | No Comments »
Saturday, January 1st, 2000
This is Richard’s standup film from 1985 and like you damn well oughta expect from Richard, it’s some funny shit. It is interesting to contrast this one with his 1979 Live in Concert because Richard has gone from being a genius to being a superstar. The opening credits play this ’80s style funk and show giant billboards advertising the show. Then a spotlight comes on in the back of the theater and Richard struts his way through the audience, and you see this cockiness on his face that is almost like a different person. Everybody loves Richard when he’s on stage being funny but this is something else altogether as you feel the outpouring of love from the audience and you see how it gives him strength. (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: Richard Pryor, standup
Posted in Comedy/Laffs, Documentary, Reviews | 1 Comment »
Saturday, January 1st, 2000
This is a video I have seen on the shelfs alot but I never got around to renting it on account of it is only 45 minutes. And who the fuck wants to pay 3.50 or what not for 45 minutes of standup when you could just watch scrambled Def Jam Comedy Jam for free.
But now I finally saw it and it was interesting but hell boys I gotta warn you, this is for Richard Pryor experts only. It is not a good introduction to his works, in my opinion. I don’t want you to watch this one first unless you promise me right here and now that you will watch Richard Pryor Live in Concert and Live On Sunset Strip even if you don’t like this one too much. (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: Richard Pryor, standup
Posted in Comedy/Laffs, Documentary, Reviews | No Comments »
Saturday, January 1st, 2000
In this movie Bruce plays Leo, a drunk rich dude calling his wife on a cell phone. It’s a small part but this is Bruce we’re talking about and he makes it fucking SOAR. He’s hanging out in a hotel room with this spoiled celebrity jerry lewis fan and they decide to re-enact a bet from an alfred hitchcock episode and if they lose the bet a man loses his finger which is kind of a dumbass bet to make in my opinion but hey man, free country.
Well Bruce doesn’t have a whole lot to do with all that, he mainly has this conversation with his wife he’s going to be home late and it’s funny. But this is only the last of four “rooms,” little stories about what goes on in this hotel even when Bruce is not there. (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: Antonio Banderas, Madonna, Quentin Tarantino, Robert Rodriguez, Tim Roth
Posted in Bruce, Comedy/Laffs, Reviews | No Comments »
Monday, December 27th, 1999
Well hell man I’m glad I ain’t too superspicious a motherfucker, ’cause here it is column number 13 right at the end of the millennium. Not too pretty on the timing there.
Yeah that’s right I said it. I know it’s not politically correct to call the 2 triple 0 the millennium, but that’s just the way I was raised bud. As for all you smart ass mathematician motherfuckers, don’t get your calculators in a bunch. Let me explain something to you bud. This is the space age year of 2000! Things are changing fast, we’re talking the god damn jetsons. I mean was it a dream or did i drive past albertsons the other day and they changed the name to albertsons.com?
Now listen here jack, are you telling me your gonna always think of 2000 as part of the 20th century? Part of the ’90s? That 6:00 pm is part of 5 o’clock? That it turns to monday at 12:01 instead of midnight? Fuck no, you’d never say something that stupid unless you got something to prove. And personally I ain’t got NOTHING to prove. (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: Andy Kaufman, Jim Carrey, Milos Forman
Posted in Comedy/Laffs, Drama, Reviews, Vern Tells It Like It Is | 5 Comments »
Monday, December 13th, 1999
Okay I’m gonna be up front about this. I know very well what you motherfuckers expect out of me this week. I’m not stupid. You think just ’cause I’m an ex-con I’m gonna spend this whole column gushing all over that new three hour prison movie that motherfucker Tom Hanks has.
Well guess what Jack, there is more to my life than prison. To be honest I don’t even want to revisit that territory anymore because who the fuck cares. I don’t even want to think about prison anymore. I gotta leave all that traumatic shit behind.
Well okay no that’s not true at all. Actually I just haven’t seen the movie yet. It’s hard to get three hours free to watch yet another Tom Hanks prison guard movie when you are a Writer like myself who is busy sculpting words or experiencing life which to be frankly honest is the most important element of a man’s Writing. (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: Bruce Campbell, Evil Dead
Posted in Action, Comedy/Laffs, Horror, Reviews, Vern Tells It Like It Is | 1 Comment »
Monday, December 6th, 1999
Well hell man here it is my tenth column that’s a pretty fucking big deal in my opinion. I think it would be unfair to just review a movie for the tenth column. Also no major movies were released this week and to be frankly honest I don’t want to see the Schwarzenegger after all. I read that he has a shootout with catholic priests and that’s pretty fucking funny but otherwise it just looks like its yet another copy of the whole ghostbusters tongue in cheek horror thing.
You see I happen to like humor as well as jokes, when it is good. One of my buds Jeff McCloud Writes to me just about every week and this week to be honest he Wrote that I didn’t understand comedy. Well I am here to prove that is not the case. (read the rest of this shit…)
Posted in Comedy/Laffs, Reviews, Vern Tells It Like It Is | 3 Comments »
Friday, November 19th, 1999
Now correct me if I’m wrong but didn’t Richard Pryor ALSO have a movie by the name of toy story. This was not one of mr. Pryor’s better pictures in my opinion, its the one where a rich white kid buys richard as a toy. He says “a big train set won’t do it for me dad, I need a famous black comic to degrade.” The basic type of humor is Richard falls in the water and runs around in fast speed while the piranhas bite him in the ass. This may have paved the way for many of the Sinbad pictures I’ve seen on cable however in MY opinion it still is not one of the high points in pryors career.
Well I guess you can tell that I’ve been out of the picture for a while because i never heard of this other toy story and here i thought this was going to be the new Richard Pryor. To be honest I promised some dudes over on alt.horror I was gonna review the End of Days this week, but I’m afraid I let them down. Arnold (who by the way I strongly suspect is a kraut despite his front as an all american restaranteur type dude) probably lifts weights as much as a lot of the guys inside. However what Richard has is a quick wit and ability to transform himself into a thousand characters, even animals or inanimated objects (he could have easily played an etchasketch or yoyo in this movie, and convincing as hell too). This is a funny motherfucker with some great fucking stories and even is attempting to go clean for quite a few years. In my new positive life it is this type of intelligent talents that I must value over the muscles. Arnold unfortunately is not a funny motherfucker judging by the 15 minutes of Jingle All of the Way I watched on tv tonight. That is got to be one of the worst executed pieces of comedy i have EVER fucking seen, even if you count the web sight Rob and Marge’s Laugh Central. Sorry arnold. Read a book.
Well as you probaly know by now if you’ve seen toy story 2, richard pryor isn’t in it at all. What this is is a VERY fucking strange story where the toys such as a cowboy doll and a spaceman named Buzz Lightyear come to life when your not looking. There is a fat dude who steals the cowboy doll. This is a dude who collects cowboys and when he gets all of them he’s going to sell them to a museum. I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with this motherfucker he collects all this stuff and as far as I can tell doesn’t even like cowboys. He doesn’t have any cowboy toys in his house that he plans to keep and he doesn’t even wear boots or own a horse. In my opinion this is the same type of dude who runs the movie studios today, who likes money but not movies but maybe got fired from the bank or the US mint or wherever people who have a passion for money work. So he controls the movie studio from a little different perspective than any normal person with a beating heart who loves and enjoys the Cinema artform. (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: Pixar, Tom Hanks
Posted in Cartoons and Shit, Comedy/Laffs, Family, Reviews, Vern Tells It Like It Is | 6 Comments »
Monday, August 30th, 1999
Anybody seen this movie. its probaly pretty old but – I just got out so I haven’t seen that many movies, but i just saw men in black at a girl’s house and it wasn’t that bad. personally i thought it was pretty stupid but there was some funny shit at times. she liked it i think i will ask her if i see her again (probly well, wink).
a couple a comments – number one, the black guy is okay i guess, but i don’t think he would last long inside. number two, i guess it was pretty funny at times. the woman, whatserfuck, she looked pretty good. (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: Tommy Lee Jones, Will Smith
Posted in Comedy/Laffs, Comic strips/Super heroes, Reviews, Science Fiction and Space Shit | 84 Comments »