"KEEP BUSTIN'."

Posts Tagged ‘Jon Voight’

Anaconda

Thursday, October 10th, 2013

tn_anacondaThis may surprise you, but I have always wanted to see ANACONDA. It’s a theatrically released, pre-SyFy Channel, early CG giant snake movie with an all star (more so now than then) cast, and I heard pretty good things about it, including a description of the best part of the movie (a famous scene involving Jon Voight) which was convincing. But somehow in all these years I never rented it. And then all the sudden last month Seattle’s S.I.F.F. Uptown screened it in a remastered DCP. The kind of thing I was hoping would happen to make up for all the theaters being forced to switch to digital. You take away our 35 mm, you better give us theatrical re-releases of ANACONDA and shit like that.

Maybe that’s why I never watched it. I was waiting for it to come back to the big screen. Maybe dreams do come true. (read the rest of this shit…)

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Horror, Reviews | 55 Comments »

U Turn

Friday, August 3rd, 2012

Before seeing SAVAGES I wanted to catch up on some of the recent Oliver Stone pictures that I’d skipped. It turns out this one is 15 years old, so you could argue that I’m a little behind on Stone. Do you guys know if JFK is any good? What about PLATOON?

This is his most straight-forward crime genre picture before SAVAGES so I figured it was a good one to check out. Based on the book Stray Dogs by John Ridley (RED TAILS, UNDERCOVER BROTHER), it’s about this dirtbag Bobby (Sean Penn), an ex-tennis player in debt whose fancy-ass car breaks down in the middle of Tiny Desert Town, Hell (actually Superior, Arizona) on his way to delivering a bunch of cash to the guy who cut off some of his fingers, and then things get way worse. But he fucks Jennifer Lopez at least. (read the rest of this shit…)

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Crime, Reviews | 61 Comments »

Lara Croft: Tomb Raider

Tuesday, June 21st, 2011
tn_laracroft
chapter 6

2001posterreleased June 15th, 2001

Lara Croft (Angelina Jolie)’s trade is a “tomb raider,” which is like an asskicking archaelogical adventurist. It’s just like whatsisdick, the guy with the hat from that other movie that also used the word “raider” in the title – but don’t worry, that’s a coincidence. Lara’s introduced in what looks like some sort of an ancient crypt. She’s wearing short shorts, a The Phantom belt, spinning two pistols. Her crotch and her large, pointy boobs are somewhat emphasized, in my opinion. Might just be me.

Wouldn’t you fuckin know it, her search for treasure is interrupted by a large robot. Cue the electronical music and the wire-assisted acrobatics (remember we’re just two years after THE MATRIX). The fight is too forced to be very exciting in my opinion, but it ends on a nice touch: after killing the robot Lara takes a breath, then laughs to herself.
(read the rest of this shit…)

Tags: , , , , , ,
Posted in Action, Reviews, Videogame | 198 Comments »

  • Hey bud, thanks for reading.

    Don't feel obligated, but there are

  • 5. My exciting line of fashion and leisure products

    (I get a couple bucks per item, you get a cool t-shirt, mug or lifestyle item)

  • WAYS YOU CAN SUPPORT THE SHIT OUT OF VERN & OUTLAWVERN.COM

    if that's your thing:

  • 1. Patreon

    (A crowdfunding type deal where you toss me a few bucks monthly to help me take time off from the day job to write more of this good shit.)

  • 2. Buy my books from your local bookseller or somebody

    click here for my Amazon author page

    (I get residuals and/or the respect of my publisher, you get to have your life changed forever by the power of my words)

    EXTRA CREDIT: Review them on Amazon! That would really help me out. Unless you didn't like them, in which case forget I said anything.

  • (I still have this Paypal donation thing you can use if you hate the name Patreon or something)

  • 6. Spread the word

    Tell your friends about my reviews and my books and everything. Only cool people though please, we don't need a bunch of suckers around here.

    THANKS EVERYBODY. YOUR FRIEND, VERN

    * * * *

  • 4. If you ever shop at Amazon, go through my links or search engines


    (you pay the same amount you were gonna pay anyway but Amazon sends a little slice of it my way)

  • I also have an Amazon UK one:

    (I can't get the search box widget to work anymore, so click on MOONWALKER and then search for what you want. Or buy MOONWALKER.)

  • VERN’S “I RECOMMEND THE SHIT OUT OF THIS PRODUCT” CORNER:

  • Recent commentary and jibber-jabber

    • The Undefeated Gaul on Doctor Sleep: “TERRIFIER has the scariest monster/killer in a horror film in a long, long time. His look and movements are insanely…” Dec 11, 14:35
    • Snowden on The Irishman: “For me, the problem with the de-aging wasn't the CGI (for the most part, but there were some dodgy moments).…” Dec 11, 13:51
    • onthewall2983 on The Irishman: “Pacino fares a little better for me in the last two decades than De Niro. INSOMNIA and ANGELS IN AMERICA…” Dec 11, 13:12
    • Mr. Subtlety on The Irishman: “onthewall -- I was willing to call THE IRISHMAN the first De Niro film since WAG THE DOG where he…” Dec 11, 11:46
    • JeffG on Downrange: “I always confuse this with Carnage Park, which I would recommend. Another one on my que” Dec 11, 11:23
    • Mr. Majestyk on Doctor Sleep: “Oh, it’s way better than SATAN’S LITTLE HELPER. I wouldn’t even consider them the same kind of movie. And I…” Dec 11, 11:03
    • geoffreyjar on Downrange: “I too enjoyed this one. So much so I'm almost ready to forgive THE MIDNIGHT MEAT TRAIN's Ryuhei Kitamura…” Dec 11, 10:41
    • Sternshein on Doctor Sleep: “Knowing what I know about Terrifier it sounds too much like Satan's Little Helper, if you know what I mean.” Dec 11, 10:28
    • Sternshein on Downrange: “I really like this one. I got a chance to see it in the theater and it worked really well…” Dec 11, 10:17
    • Mr. Majestyk on Doctor Sleep: “I have not seen it but I know the movie you're talking about. It looked interesting. I have it in…” Dec 11, 10:15
    • jeffg on The Irishman: “Psychic, that analogy made me bust a gut. The new Michael Bay movie with Ryan Reynolds comes out on…” Dec 11, 10:01
    • jeffg on Doctor Sleep: “Majestyk- I think we all were discussing some Shudder movies a bit back, I couldn't find the talk back. And…” Dec 11, 09:58
    • onthewall2983 on The Irishman: “I think Pesci will get all the awards love. So hard to choose among the three, but I feel De…” Dec 11, 09:53
    • AnimalRamirez on The Irishman: “That sounded weird. Sorry.” Dec 11, 09:19
    • AnimalRamirez on The Irishman: “According to his biography (aka footnote in Wikipedia) he is quarter Irish only a quarter Italian!” Dec 11, 06:27

  • Year Round Halloween Business

  • Recent Commented on Posts

  • 4-Star Movies In Vern’s Opinion

  • Most Comments

  • (use this one if you order from Amazon UK)

  • Meta

  • Recommend on Google