Posts Tagged ‘Charles Bronson’

Mr. Majestyk

Saturday, January 1st, 2005

I think it was my colleague in Badass Studies, Mr. Jeff McCloud, who first recommended MR. MAJESTYK to me a year or two ago. When he said that Charles Bronson played a watermelon farmer in it, I knew it was my type of movie. What better way to fulfill the criteria of the THEORY OF BADASS JUXTAPOSITION than to grow a field of watermelons? I mean I guess maybe if they were flowers it would seem more sensitive, but this business of a dude growing watermelons is definitely not the obvious choice for a Badass. Which is why it’s such a good choice.

So I was an idiot to put off watching the movie as long as I did. What really did it was I was lookin through a used book store (seriously, I read books) when I saw the book MR. MAJESTYK by none other than Elmore Leonard. I pulled it out. The dude on the front was definitely not Charlse Bronson. But I read the back, and sure enough, it was about a badass watermelon farmer.

Well shit man, you should’ve mentioned it was Elmore Leonard. If the movie is an indication, this is one of his leaner ones, with less of the clever dialogue and irony, and more of the ass kickin. The filmatism is that raw ’70s type, where it sometimes feels less epic and more like CHiPs, but not usually. (To be fair the video is full framed and could use a little of the remastering, and that always makes ’70s movies seem like TV.) There is a pretty great theme song that lets you know right off that the movie means business, just like a Dirty Harry movie or the better Robert Clouse karate pictures. (more…)

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Posted in Action, Crime, Drama, Reviews | 1 Comment »

The Mechanic

Saturday, January 1st, 2005

First off, I just want to say, I thought Charles Bronson was gonna play a mechanic in this movie. I’m not sure why. Maybe because THE FUCKING MOVIE IS CALLED THE MECHANIC. I don’t know, that may or may not be the reason.

Charles Bronson plays a mob enforcer, or a hitman, or an assassin, or a killer, or a mechanic, or a dentist, or whatever you think sounds coolest. Point is, he’s a guy who makes a living murdering people in fancy ways. And he’s real good at his job, by the looks of it.

The opening scene is one of them tours of force that you gotta be impressed by. For a good ten minutes or more, there is no dialogue, no narration, no explanation. Just my man Charles the Mechanic, spying on a guy, then going into the guy’s apartment, fucking with his teabags, putting explosives in his books, etc. Setting things up. Then blowing things up. All in a day’s work when you are a mechanic who doesn’t fix cars.

Then we follow Charles back to his home. Not the ratty apartment he spied from, but a nice place with lots of fancy crap including Hieronymous Bosch’s The Garden of Earthly Delights hanging on the wall. They never say it’s the original, but why would this guy have a reprint? I’m guessing he stole the original and replaced it with a fake. Good job, Charles.

As the story unfolds, Charles gets more jobs, and we get to watch him do his thing. This is not a guy who settles for just shooting a guy or poisoning him or something. If he takes the job, you bet it’s gonna be fun to watch. He nearly gives an old man a heart attack, shooting at him but pretending he’s shooting at somebody behind him who’s also shooting at him. This is all fine and dandy but after he kills the guy, he makes the mistake of hanging around his spoiled blond bitch of a son, Jan Michael Vincent. And it seems like he actually likes the kid. He starts bringing him along on jobs, showing him the tricks of the trade. (more…)

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Red Sun

Saturday, January 1st, 2005

Pretty much every day, somebody comes up to me and asks, “Vern, what in your opinion is the greatest badass ensemble cast of all time?” They expect me to go for a big cast like THE GREAT ESCAPE or THE DIRTY DOZEN. But I throw em a curve ball with the best possible answer: HELL IN THE PACIFIC. There are exactly two actors in the whole movie, and they’re Lee Marvin and Toshiro Mifune. That cannot be topped. The technology just doesn’t exist.

Here’s a cast that comes pretty close though: Charles Bronson, Toshiro Mifune and Alain Delon. I mean, that’s pretty fuckin good, right? You could argue whether or not Bronson + Delon > Marvin. But there’s other people in this movie, not just those three, and that lessens the impact. The minimalism of HELL IN THE PACIFIC is part of what makes it so great.

However, this one has something going for it: Charles Bronson is a cowboy. Toshiro Mifune is a samurai. In the same movie. I’ll pause now for you to go rent the movie.

Thanks for coming back. In case you haven’t watched it yet, I’ll explain. Bronson and Delon are pulling a train robbery. On one car of the train is a Japanese ambassador guarded by two samurai. That’s got nothing to do with the robbery but while they’re poking around, Delon notices a ceremonial samurai sword the ambassador is bringing as a gift. So he takes it, and shoots one of the samurai that comes after it. Then him and some guys pull a doublecross on Bronson and take off with the boodle. (more…)

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