I reviewed THE LAST BOY SCOUT (1991) once already, 15 years ago. Though I think I described some things about it pretty well, I was at somewhat of a snooty wiseass stage in my critic’s journey, and I was more dismissive of it than I should’ve been. Despite that I remembered it being a pretty good movie, and I’d been wanting to rewatch it for a while, so this last November, when BWolfe asked in the comments, “Can you re-review this? I feel like you’d give it a much better shake now,” I knew he was right.
(Bruce)
This Joel Silver production is a collaboration/clash between director Tony Scott (coming off of DAYS OF THUNDER) and screenwriter Shane Black (after being replaced on LETHAL WEAPON 2). Those guys making a Bruce Willis movie is about as all-star action as it got in 1991, and had Bruce and Silver known how the release of HUDSON HAWK was gonna go earlier in that year they would’ve been even more eager to sow they could still blow people through the back walls of theaters. (read the rest of this shit…)
RAMBO: FIRST BLOOD PART II was a phenomenon. And an unlikely one. It’s right there in the title: FIRST BLOOD PART II? How the hell do you do a FIRST BLOOD PART II?
Sure, the makers of FIRST BLOOD famously went with the ending where Rambo didn’t die, as he did in David Morrell’s book. But the character doesn’t exactly lend himself to a rousing second adventure. He wasn’t your typical action movie protagonist, a hero who comes along and saves the day. He was a drifter who was mistreated and fought back hard. Went on a rampage. Single-handedly waged a war against law enforcement (one guy died falling off a helicopter), wrecked a whole town, finally broke down about his experiences in the war and then turned himself in. A great movie because of its simple, character-driven story mechanisms, emotional center and excellent, largely internal and physical (and finally blubbering) performance by Sylvester Stallone.
So what’s Rambo gonna do, get out of prison, try to go straight, and get hassled by some other sheriff? Nope. They figured we got a perfect killing machine, let’s plug it in. Let him out for a dangerous mission, a one-man DIRTY DOZEN.
“There was some criticism that I made NASA look dumb in certain places. In fact if you heard some of these asteroid theories of what they are thinking of doing, it just sounds asinine.” –Michael Bay
ARMAGEDDON is Michael Bay’s third movie, but in some sense it’s the one where he revealed his true face to the world. There were plenty of examples of his style and character in BAD BOYS and THE ROCK, but it was ARMAGEDDON that first presented the full breadth of his trademarks: awesome awesome macho bros, pretty pretty sunsets, government employees portrayed as insufferable weiners even though they’re in the right, spinning cameras, haphazard editing all over the fucking place, chaotic mish-mashes of explosions and sparks and machinery and debris and smoke and crap, beautiful shots of people in various locations around the world, weirdly hateful characters presented as cutesy comic relief, an army of highly qualified writers seemingly locked in a cage and forced to duct tape a bunch of dumb ideas into the most unwieldy structure they can come up with that has a running time at least 30 minutes longer than the story has earned, and of course an ensemble of talented actors improvising jokes with no regard for any sort of desired rhythm or tone of storytelling. (read the rest of this shit…)
I meant to see this when it was in theaters in 1988, didn’t get around to it until now. It’s okay. Not worth that long of a wait, but luckily I did other stuff in between.
Treat Williams (THE SUBSTITUTE 2-4) and Joe Piscopo (Saturday Night Live cast, 1980-1984) play two 1980s Movie Cops. Treat is supposed to be the straight laced one, so he wears a suit. Piscopo is the wildman who wears a leather jacket and hits on every woman who appears on camera, because that’s always funny (see also: Jay Leno in COLLISION COURSE). This was after SNL when he got really into bodybuilding, so he also shows off his muscles alot. He’s kind of a cross between a wisecracking Bruce Willis type of character and a crazy Mel Gibson one. (read the rest of this shit…)
Two years ago, I saw and accidentally enjoyed the 2004 movie THE PUNISHER starring Thomas Jane. It was another attempt at a movie version of some Marvel Comics Book which had once been made by none other than Dolph Lundgren. After I saw that movie, I wrote a review (see below), then I looked into the eyes of the universe and I made a solemn vow that one day maybe I would see the Dolph Lundgren version, who knows.
Well today I saw Dolph’s version and I’m here to report that it’s okay. I liked Thomas’s version the best but this one definitely has its moments. Like the 2004 one, this is definitely more in the action movie/vigilante style than some kind of Batman or Superman deal. The main comic book element is that Punisher lives in the sewers and has tunnels to bring him everywhere. Also he has a wacky sidekick who is some kind of homeless guy who always claims to be a theater actor, and who always rhymes. (read the rest of this shit…)
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Recent commentary and jibber-jabber
Windows on The Catechism Cataclysm: “Vern – Thank-you! I have no idea who Todd Rohal is, but I know now I gotta check out his…” Dec 14, 01:40
KayKay on Pulp Fiction: “Man, what is it about the latter half of this bloody year that’s robbed us of memorable screen baddies? From…” Dec 13, 19:31
Alex R on Fuck My Son!: “Dooley— I’m just telling you what Fantagraphics’ press release said. Maybe they meant “original work” or maybe they couldn’t get…” Dec 13, 19:05
VERN on Fuck My Son!: “I saw a Cybertruck and I realized that that’s a pretty good analogy too. Somebody who buys one Cybertruck probly…” Dec 13, 18:55
Dooley the Gravedigger on Fuck My Son!: “Good thoughtful review and discussion Vern. “Ryan’s usual publisher Fantagraphics used to publish porno comics but would not publish Fuck…” Dec 13, 13:49
Muh on High Plains Drifter: “I’d say Eastwood is thoughtful about those tropes, but they are fairly standard action hero tropes. He can just tend…” Dec 13, 11:19
Muh on Fuck My Son!: “I’m not a particular fan of AI but I wouldn’t call it fascist asthetic just because you’ve seen Trump and…” Dec 13, 10:38
Mr. Majestyk on Fuck My Son!: “Alright, fine. I’m convinced. I apologize for being a distrustful, cynical Gen X asshole who distrusts other cynical Gen X…” Dec 13, 07:26
Miguel Hombre on High Plains Drifter: “But the notion that the Eastwood character is some type of reborn, vengeance seeking version of someone is a very…” Dec 13, 05:48
CJ Holden on Fuck My Son!: “All that I have to add is that the people who are usually accused of being edgelords ARE edgelords. Believe…” Dec 13, 01:03
VERN on Fuck My Son!: “Curt, in regards to your last paragraph – Elon Musk is on Time Magazine as an “Architect of A.I.” Peter…” Dec 12, 23:14
Curt on Fuck My Son!: “Here’s my contribution to the discourse of Haven’t Seen This.Movie Yet But Have Thoughts On The Status of Transgressive Art…” Dec 12, 21:46
Muh on Fuck My Son!: “I know Rohal a bit and he’s no right wing woke warrior. But definitely is wistful for when there was…” Dec 12, 17:12
Muh on High Plains Drifter: “Pretty sure that guy slinking into the darkness was the mayor. The movie itself is vague like IS it a…” Dec 12, 16:51
Muh on Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun Li: “No matter what it’s gotta be better than the Van Damme movie, with the exception of Raul Julia’s performance.” Dec 12, 16:49