"CATCH YOU FUCKERS AT A BAD TIME?"

Posts Tagged ‘John Kapelos’

The Craft

Monday, May 4th, 2026

I saw THE CRAFT when it came out 30 years ago. I’m a little younger than the actors, so I was a little older than the characters, and thought I was above it, going to see it for a laugh. This is what they think teens think is cool, ha ha ha. But I was not as removed from that life as I imagined I was. I was practically the target audience, I just didn’t want to admit it.

Watching it now, of course, there’s an added layer of nostalgia: for when music sounded like that, even though that wasn’t the stuff I was listening to; for when I would definitely have had a crush on Nancy, even though she’s a psycho and Rochelle is way nicer and prettier; for when they made movies like this, which is code for when I was young and the horizon was widening instead of narrowing. The good old days. Obviously.

I know I’ve seen bits of it on cable over the years, but I think this is the first time I’ve seen it in full since the theater. It’s an interesting type of teen horror because it’s not a body count movie, and it doesn’t exactly have an antagonist. It’s timeless teenage girl material like the sisterhood of girls who don’t fit in at school, revenge against bullies and exploitative boys, etc., and then they add the supernatural into that. I guess you could say some of that about CARRIE, though, couldn’t you? So maybe it was nothing new. But in 1996 it felt a little different to not have a Freddy to worry about. We are the Freddys, mister. (read the rest of this shit…)

Dead Again / Defenseless

Monday, August 23rd, 2021

August 23, 1991 saw the release of two American suspense thrillers by notable overseas directors. Best reviewed, highest grossing and first alphabetically was Kenneth Branagh’s DEAD AGAIN, starring Kenneth Branagh and his then-wife Emma Thompson, written by Scott Frank (PLAIN CLOTHES).

Under the opening credits are an old timey montage of 1940s newspaper headlines detailing the story of a singer named Margaret Strauss (Thompson), who was stabbed to death with scissors, and then her husband Roman “The Maestro” Strauss (Branagh) was convicted of murdering her. The opening is done in black and white, with The Maestro getting a weird haircut and posing with evil smiles in the shadows as he tells reporter Gray Baker (Andy Garcia in his followup to THE GODFATHER PART III) that he loves his wife. When Baker asks if he killed her, he leans over and whispers to him and you’re supposed to wonder what he said I guess. But, like, what would he say? Definitely no? Arguably yes?

Anyway the main story is 40 years later when private detective Mike Church (also Branagh), who specializes in finding lost heirs and speaks in a shifting series of dorky American accents that I don’t think is intended to be funny, reluctantly agrees to do a favor for a priest he knows (Richard Easton, YOUNG WARRIORS). A mysterious amnesiac woman who does not speak (Thompson again) showed up at the orphanage where he grew up, and he agrees to drop her off at the hospital, but when he sees all the scary mentally ill people she’d be with he feels bad and lets her sleep at his apartment. No, he doesn’t do anything untoward, but yes, he quickly falls in love with her and acts like a weirdo. (read the rest of this shit…)

Mimic 3: Sentinel

Wednesday, November 25th, 2020

Neither MIMIC or MIMIC 2 seemed to go over all that well, but that didn’t stop Dimension Films from releasing MIMIC 3: SENTINEL in 2003. This is probly my favorite of the three, and at the very least it deserves high marks for taking advantage of the pre-sold nature of the format to take a weird left turn, not at all the lower-budget-rehash approach of so many DTV sequels. It follows a drastically different template: the Hitchcockian voyeur thriller. It even uses a quasi-Saul Bass movie poster font for the title. But it doesn’t feel like they took an old suspense thriller script and grafted a bug man onto it, because it ties into and builds off of the world of MIMIC in smart and interesting ways.

This one is written and directed by J.T. Petty, whose THE BURROWERS I’ve been meaning to check out forever. He also did SOFT FOR DIGGING (a $5,000 student feature that I believe got him this gig), S&MANand HELLBENDERS. Here he’s made a movie that kind of feels like it comes out of the same school as early Soderbergh or Nolan – the hyper-intelligent indie guys that were more into old noirs than drive-in movies. (read the rest of this shit…)