"CATCH YOU FUCKERS AT A BAD TIME?"

Posts Tagged ‘Andy Muschietti’

It Chapter Two

Monday, October 27th, 2025

When IT CHAPTER TWO came out six years ago I heard that it was really bad (a subjective opinion) and two hours and fifty minutes long (a verifiable measurement). The “bad” part isn’t really a dealbreaker for a courageous viewer like yours truly, but combined with the length it was intimidating. Still, I intended to see it because I’m a horror fan and a merciful soul (I didn’t even hate director Andy Muschietti’s followup THE FLASH) and I promised friends I would see it so we could talk about it. But every October since it’s sat there on my list.

This month I watched a Sophia Lillis and a Finn Wolfhard and a couple Bill Skarsgårds and I decided it was time to stop running. It was time to go back home and face IT CHAPTER TWO. I’m not proud of it but my method was to watch it in three one-hour installments like a TV show. I know that’s not the way to watch an epic and I wouldn’t normally do it, but it finally got me through. (And the filmmakers probly figured out that was the best way to do it too, because they’re just starting a prequel TV series called Welcome to Derry.) (read the rest of this shit…)

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Reviews, Horror | 3 Comments »

The Flash

Wednesday, June 21st, 2023

When Barry Allen (Ezra Miller, WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT KEVIN), a.k.a. The Flash, discovers that he can run so fast he travels through time, the first thing he does is what we all wish we could do: go tell Bruce Wayne (Ben Affleck, SMOKIN’ ACES) about it. And his cool rich friend gives him wise, succinct advice: if it’s possible for you to change the past, such as by stopping the murder of your mother (Maribel Verdú, TETRO), it would be very dangerous, and besides, our scars make us who we are. Look at me, for example – I’m fuckin Batman!

But as Barry prepares one more desperate appeal for his father (Ron Livingston, KING OF THE ANTS), who was blamed for his mother’s death, it occurs to him that if he traveled back in time he wouldn’t have to intervene during the murder. He’d just have to make sure his mom had tomato sauce so his dad wouldn’t leave for the store, causing a burglar to believe no one was home. A loophole. One weird trick to save the Allen family. Of course, his changes cause reverberations (with the unusual twist that since time isn’t linear it doesn’t just branch off, it changes in all directions), and he spends the movie running around very fast trying to clean up his mess. (read the rest of this shit…)

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Reviews, Comic strips/Super heroes | 64 Comments »

It

Tuesday, September 12th, 2017

STAND BY ME vs. THE THING. A group of young nerd friends in the small town of Derry, Maine battle a shape-shifting (usually clown-shaped) thing-from-another-(not-specified) that feeds on the fears of children. Oh, and also feeds on the actual children, apparently as a way to create more of that sweet fear.

Stephen King’s book tells the story of this “Losers’ Club” in 1958, and then reunites them as adults to do It in grown up style. Andy Muschietti (MAMA)’s movie just handles the childhood half of the story, moving it up to the summer of 1989, three years after the book even came out.

I read the book probly 30 years ago and only remember it well enough to be thankful they left out the pre-teen gang bang scene. I still question the part where a bunch of boys and one girl go swimming together in their underwear and then hang out that way. Maybe it was different on the east coast but this seemed like an alien clown’s idea of what the youths do together. Also the graphic blood pact seemed to me from a different time, but I guess God bless those little psychos for being up to that kind of self-mutilation. I couldn’t do it. (read the rest of this shit…)

Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Horror, Reviews | 175 Comments »

  • Hey bud, thanks for reading.

    Don't feel obligated, but here are some

  • WAYS YOU CAN SUPPORT THE SHIT OUT OF VERN & OUTLAWVERN.COM

    if that's your thing:

  • 1. Patreon

    Toss me a couple bucks a month, support the good shit, also get access to a bunch of exclusive writing. This is my primary source of writing money that has allowed me to cut down to part time at the day job. Thank you!

  • 2. Buy my books from your local bookseller or somebody

    click here for my Amazon author page

    (NOTE: My ten year contract has passed on the Titan books, so I don't get residuals on them like I do WORM ON A HOOK and NIKETOWN, but I would love for you to read them because I'm proud of them)

    EXTRA CREDIT: Review them on Amazon! That would really help me out. Unless you didn't like them, in which case forget I said anything.

  • 3. If you ever buy from Amazon, go through my links or search engines



    (you pay the same amount you were gonna pay anyway they cut me a little slice)

  • I also have an Amazon UK one:

    (I can't get the search box widget to work anymore, so click on MOONWALKER and then search for what you want.)

  • 4. My exciting line of fashion and leisure products

    (I get a couple bucks per item, you get a cool t-shirt, mug or lifestyle item)

  • 5. Spread the word

    Tell your friends about my reviews and my books and everything. Only cool people though please, we don't need a bunch of suckers and/or chumps around here.

    THANKS EVERYBODY. YOUR FRIEND, VERN

    * * * *

  • Recent commentary and jibber-jabber

    • CJ Holden on It Chapter Two: “Honestly, I was surprised how hated that one was. But at the same time I was surprised how beloved the…” Oct 27, 09:06
    • RBatty024 on It Chapter Two: “I watched IT Chapter 2 years ago at this point. I watched it late at night, and I think I…” Oct 27, 08:55
    • walkerp on It Chapter Two: “I’m baffled by how bad the two new IT movies were. They had so much money and then got two…” Oct 27, 08:27
    • The Allusionist on Other: “Seconding the recommendation for “MadS”. Filming a zombie outbreak movie in a single shot might be a stunt, but it…” Oct 26, 17:29
    • The Winchester on The Hitcher (2007): “Back in the day when I was a teenager… I mean a film critic for a website I got to…” Oct 26, 10:41
    • Phil on Battle For Terra: “The toys there for Terra was a giveaway: http://eclipsemagazine.com/contest-battle-for-terra-5-figure-giveaway/ Just 5 sets so pretty rare.” Oct 26, 10:00
    • Hank on Other: “MadS is waaaaaaay better than this” Oct 26, 09:09
    • VERN on Jackie Brown: “I awarded it “Best Picture – Comedy, Musical or Badass” in the 1999 Outlaw Awards, but I don’t believe I…” Oct 25, 00:10
    • Skani on Bring Her Back: “Yup, agreed!” Oct 24, 17:32
    • Inspector Hammer Boudreaux on Other: “In one of those odd coincidences where two movies in the same year have a similar concept, GOOD BOY is…” Oct 24, 10:10
    • Bill Reed on Bring Her Back: “SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS FOR REAL, SPOILERS Agreed with you on the ending, Skani. After all the pre-meditated, manipulative, and horrible…” Oct 24, 06:26
    • Skani on Bring Her Back: “SOME SPOILERS Everything I read told me that this movie was all wrong for me, but I watched it anyway,…” Oct 23, 20:04
    • M. Casey on Jackie Brown: “Yeah, this is a great one, I’ve been meaning to see it again and need to get around to it.…” Oct 23, 19:07
    • Mr. Majestyk on Other: “I thought the face thing was going to be a twist where everybody else has a disgusting monster face, indicating…” Oct 23, 15:40
    • BuzzFeedAldrin on Bring Her Back: “I did enjoy this, though not as much as Talk to the Hand mainly because I don’t enjoy characters in…” Oct 22, 08:40

  • Recent Commented on Posts

  • Most Comments