I’m not sure why I’m okay with the title WES CRAVEN’S NEW NIGHTMARE. It’s one of those dated titles, because it’s not new anymore. And is the actual title supposed to be “New Nightmare” and it’s presented by Wes Craven? Because I always think of Wes Craven as being part of the actual title, that it’s about his nightmare. I don’t know. Anyway, it fits.
WES CRAVEN’S NEW NIGHTMARE by Wes Craven is easily the smartest Freddy sequel and the one that most sounds like it could never work. I guess maybe some people might consider the premise ridiculous, but I always just went with it, it works like a charm on me (a very effective charm – I don’t actually know how charms usually work but this one works real good is what I mean). It’s the story of original NIGHMARE ON ELM STREET star Heather Langenkamp (uncannily portrayed by Heather Langenkamp) trying to stay sane in the face of some harassing phone calls, a series of earthquakes, some strange dreams and increasingly creepy happenings with her son. She and others keep having strange dreams – Freddy dreams. Meanwhile, Robert Shaye (Robert Shaye) and Wes Craven (Wes Craven) want her and Robert Englund (V’s Robert Englund) to return for a new Freddy sequel that Craven is writing. (read the rest of this shit…)
THE BOONDOCKS is finally returning for season 3. It starts tonight at 11:30 on the Cartoons Network. It’s been a couple years since season 2 so that makes this the first Boondocks episode of the Obama age. I don’t know if he was kidding or not, but a mass email from a guy who works on the show claims this episode is about Werner Herzog (!?) looking back at the 2008 election from the future.
WAKE IN FRIGHT is a fever dream of a movie from Australia circa 1971 and director Ted Kotcheff (FIRST BLOOD). It stars Bond… Gary Bond as a teacher leaving for Christmas break from a school he’s stuck teaching at out in the middle of nowhere in the outback. He hates it and is desperate to make it back to Sydney and see his surfer girlfriend. But it’s a long trip and while staying the night in a town called “The Yabba” he goes out for a drink. And it turns out to be a long fucking night. 
BREAKDOWN is a highway suspense thriller starring Kurt Russell. He’s got his wife asleep in their fancy new truck, going on a trip, he takes his eyes off the road onto his coffee thermos for a second, almost nails some gentlemen of the rednecked community who back out into the road in front of him. When he stops at a gas station those guys show up and start puffing their chests out, commenting on his truck. So it’s got that class tension, that tourist guilt that I always dig in a horror or suspense type picture.
Some of you may remember that I didn’t review 
Well, I’m feeling good, my new book is getting good reviews, I got the next two days off work. What should I do? How ’bout review something even more obscure than the other day’s comments-killer THE DEADLY ART OF SURVIVAL? I mean, if I had to guess I’d say this one was probly a little better known that that one, but I can’t even find it listed on IMDb. So everybody’s gonna think I made it up. They need documentation and records. But I swear to you, I watched GINGER BAKER IN AFRICA on an officially released DVD and everything.
To celebrate the release of my new review book that’s named after Bruce Willis it’s only appropriate that I review a Bruce movie I never reviewed before. And by far the most requested title in that category is the notorious-flop-turned-minor-cult-movie HUDSON HAWK.
This movie came out in 1979, but it opens with the hero doing moves in front of a black void like so many ’80s ninja and karate movies. Instead of having credits written on the screen this guy says them out loud, introducing himself and the name of the movie. And it’s a hell of a name. If a movie called THE DEADLY ART OF SURVIVAL was no good it would still have a leg up on most other movies, because most other movies aren’t called THE DEADLY ART OF SURVIVAL. I don’t know if “good” is the best word to describe what this is, but it’s at least interesting. 
As the founder and producer of Motown Records, Berry Gordy, Jr. created one of the most successful African American business enterprises in history, re-invented the sound of American music, discovered Smokey Robinson and the Miracles and signed such important artists as The Supremes, Marvin Gaye, The Temptations, The Four Tops, Gladys Knight & the Pips, Stevie Wonder and The Jackson 5. But music wasn’t enough to quench his thirst so he moved to L.A. and helped turn Diana Ross into a movie star, producing LADY SINGS THE BLUES and directing MAHOGANY.
