Okay I’m gonna be up front about this. I know very well what you motherfuckers expect out of me this week. I’m not stupid. You think just ’cause I’m an ex-con I’m gonna spend this whole column gushing all over that new three hour prison movie that motherfucker Tom Hanks has.
Well guess what Jack, there is more to my life than prison. To be honest I don’t even want to revisit that territory anymore because who the fuck cares. I don’t even want to think about prison anymore. I gotta leave all that traumatic shit behind.
Well okay no that’s not true at all. Actually I just haven’t seen the movie yet. It’s hard to get three hours free to watch yet another Tom Hanks prison guard movie when you are a Writer like myself who is busy sculpting words or experiencing life which to be frankly honest is the most important element of a man’s Writing. (read the rest of this shit…)
Well hell man here it is my tenth column that’s a pretty fucking big deal in my opinion. I think it would be unfair to just review a movie for the tenth column. Also no major movies were released this week and to be frankly honest I don’t want to see the Schwarzenegger after all. I read that he has a shootout with catholic priests and that’s pretty fucking funny but otherwise it just looks like its yet another copy of the whole ghostbusters tongue in cheek horror thing.
Now correct me if I’m wrong but didn’t Richard Pryor ALSO have a movie by the name of toy story. This was not one of mr. Pryor’s better pictures in my opinion, its the one where a rich white kid buys richard as a toy. He says “a big train set won’t do it for me dad, I need a famous black comic to degrade.” The basic type of humor is Richard falls in the water and runs around in fast speed while the piranhas bite him in the ass. This may have paved the way for many of the Sinbad pictures I’ve seen on cable however in MY opinion it still is not one of the high points in pryors career.
Anybody seen this movie. its probaly pretty old but – I just got out so I haven’t seen that many movies, but i just saw men in black at a girl’s house and it wasn’t that bad. personally i thought it was pretty stupid but there was some funny shit at times. she liked it i think i will ask her if i see her again (probly well, wink).
This is a movie where Ichabod from Sleepy Hollow teams up with a fat Mexican dude named Benicio Del Toro, and these two drive to Las Vegas on 700 different types of drugs to cover a motorcycle race for a magazine. I believe Bill Murray played this same Ichabod character back in the ’80s based on the real guy, Hunter S. Thompson who wrote the book.
You know with the year 2000 and everything maybe my new year’s resolution should be to cut down on sex with young women. now don’t get me wrong 18 is my cut off point, I’m not going down again and that’s a fact, jack. But still this may be too young for ol’ Vern and let me explain why.
