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Archive for the ‘Blog Post (short for weblog)’ Category

Academy of Oscars Awards

Sunday, March 7th, 2010

bestdirectorI figured I should do a post on Oscars just so we have a place to discuss them. That is what I am doing write now, I am doing a post on Oscars.

A couple of random thoughts to start things off:

1. I know people always complain when you discuss Oscars and have to point out that they are meaningless or whatever. Fair enough. Like anybody doesn’t know that. But I’ve noticed that this year more than usual they have had a positive effect already. The main one is the amount of discussion I have heard about Kathryn Bigelow. As recently as when THE HURT LOCKER came out you could not find anybody outside of nerd clubs who even knew that movie existed. Now it’s one of the most discussed movies and Kathryn Bigelow leans closer to “household name” than to “name only known by movie nerds who like NEAR DARK or POINT BREAK.” I’ve also run into many people who would not have seen HURT LOCKER if not for all this awards talk, and also some of the other nominees that wouldn’t have been nominated without the expanded 10 best picture nominees, mostly A SERIOUS MAN. So that’s good. I myself have to admit I probly wouldn’t have gotten around to seeing CRAZY HEART if Bridges wasn’t up for best actor.

2. I put Kathryn Bigelow up there because I want her to win (and think she will) but if Cameron ends up winning let’s not roll any cars or anything. I personally don’t think AVATAR is up to the standards of earlier in his career, but you have to admit that “best director” is a good way to honor the movie for its technical achievement and daring. It’s easy to look at its ridiculously gigantic success and say that it was an obvious crowdplease, but that dude was working on that movie for years with sayers saying “nay” on all sides. The tenacity to get that made at that budget, to invent the technology and to at least on a technical level orchestrate it all together is something probly no other director could’ve done. So although I would rather reward a movie that to me has more heart and soul to it I think those would be legitimate reasons to give him the award.

If Jason Reitman got it I would be kind of pissed though.

After the “jump” or whatever it’s called I will present to you a series of posters commemorating previous works of all the best director nominees, arranged in order of preference of who I would want to win. (read the rest of this shit…)

Bruce vs. cartoonz

Thursday, March 4th, 2010

tn_styloBruceJimbolo kindly put this link in some comments, but it was cool enough I thought I should give it its own post. The cartoon band “Gorillaz” (who once named a song after Clint) have yet another cool video, this one a tribute to muscle cars and car chase movies, and guest starring a favorite actor of mine, I will not say who other than that I gave it away in the subject line and he is pictured to the left and to the right. Another hint: this is the first time he has chased after cartoon characters trying to kill them since BEAVIS AND BUTTHEAD DO AMERICA. Unless you count SIN CITY.

Speaking of (SPOILER) Bruce, I also want to call attention to the new banner to the right, advertising my new book YIPPEE KI-YAY MOVIEGOER: WRITINGS ON BRUCE WILLIS, BADASS CINEMA AND OTHER IMPORTANT TOPICS. It’s a collection of some of my (and your) favorite reviews and it comes out– well, I thought at the end of this month, but Amazon says April 27th now. I’ll have to ask my publisher. Anyway, please help me spread the word on this one, I’m not sure how the hell I’m gonna convince people to buy it, but I think we all agree that if they do buy it it will change their lives forever and make their children smarter and possibly even work as some sort of a renewable fuel source. Also it smells like Seagram’s Golden Wine Cooler.

You give up? Okay, it’s Bruce Willis in the video.

Important Badass Happenings

Tuesday, February 23rd, 2010

tn_riddickI get alot of nice emails from people pointing me to the big stories I should know about, announcements of new movies that they know I would be excited about and things like that. I appreciate you guys looking out for me but also I figured I should mention some of the big ones to save you guys the trouble of making sure I know about them…

And anyway there are some things worth discussing in the comments.

1. STEVEN SEAGAL: LAWMAN renewed for season 2.

I know there were some doubts (even my cable box called the last episode “series finale”) but I figured Chief Seagal knew what was up when he called it the “season finale” on his twittering device. Although the ratings dropped after its spectacular debut it was still high for the fuckin A&E network. (Too bad that didn’t work for BLADE and Spike TV.)

The new season was apparently already filmed during Mardi Gras, which I hope means they harass more white people, possibly while in the process of going wild. It’s also 16 episodes, 3 more than season 1. (read the rest of this shit…)

Black Dynamite Day (plus a review of the soundtracks)

Tuesday, February 16th, 2010

tn_blackdynamite3Here in the U.S. Sunday was Valentine’s Day, yesterday was President’s Day, and today is BLACK DYNAMITE Day. If you didn’t catch it at a random film festival or in its limited theatrical release (or even if you did) today is the day when you can finally buy or rent it on DVD or Blu-Ray.

I hope I haven’t raised expectations on this one talking about it so long, but I’ve seen it three times now and it definitely stands as one of my favorites of recent years, a really funny and affectionate blaxploitation homage that, while making fun of the absurdity of the genre also happens to capture exactly what I love about those movies. I will proudly put it on my shelf next to my previous favorite blaxploitation comedy, THE HUMAN TORNADO. (read the rest of this shit…)

Found: Bearded Harold’s full name

Friday, February 12th, 2010

When I first posted about the freaky ads that haunt me on hotmail I named the hairy guy “Bearded Harold” because Harold was the name on his driver’s license:

weirdads3But I couldn’t really make out the last name on his signature there. Fortunately, a new ad has surfaced, featuring much neater handwriting on a parking ticket:

Picture 2There you go. Harold Alexander Swan. No word on if Judge Moody or Thomas O’Malley are that ugly overbite/glasses guy. But we’ll learn eventually.

(Sorry guys, I don’t watch LOST, so I have to analyze clues in shit like this. Do you think it’s too late for this to be a viral tie-in to CLOVERFIELD?)

John Carpenter’s badass contract

Wednesday, February 10th, 2010

tn_johncarpenterApparently the ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK remake is still happening. You guys know how I feel about that. In the unlikely event that somebody good was doing it this could actually be a good story to retell. The problems are

1. who the fuck you gonna get to play Snake Plissken? I mean, come on

2. that means no ESCAPE FROM EARTH, and fuck that. Kurt Russell is even cooler at this age than he was then, I want to see him play Snake again.

And of course the odds are against them choosing somebody great to direct, so I was happy when I thought this had fallen apart.

Anyway, this new article from the Vulture blog reveals some new information about the script and, most importantly that John Carpenter included a few important clauses when handing over the remake rights:

New Line had to sign a contract with John Carpenter stipulating, among other things, that Plissken “must be called ‘Snake'”; “must wear an eye patch”; and that he would — and we’re not making this up — “always be a ‘bad-ass.'”

I guess that means that keeping Snake Plissken Snake Plissken is more important to him than ASSAULT ON PRECINCT 13 and some of the other ones. Or maybe he learned from those remakes. (read the rest of this shit…)

LIVE BLOG 82nd Annual Oscar Nominations announcement

Tuesday, February 2nd, 2010

oscarshello everybody welcome to my first ever LIVE BLOG, I am watching E and there is alot to be said about this all new wave speed slimming ssystem. It is the most effective total body slimming system ever due to cardio, strength, speed slimming intervals.the reason why is the afterburn effect, it keeps burtning fat even as you sleep or drive. what i am getting at is they’re not announcing the thing yet

wait here it goes. did that guy just say viva rock vegas was gonna win? I’m tired

here they go. that’s ann whatsisidck from havoc

Hurt locker. what, blompkamp? i’m confused. not sure about these ones. hmmm, very interesting. ah, fascinating. something something, avatar. very farmiga from orphan, No surprise. wait, up in the air? that’s outside the box

ten nominees this year, changes the whole dynamicals. i’m hearing words. none of them are port of call. none of them are squeakquel. oh, district 9 again. well, that’s weird. butnothing too embarrassing.

big upsets this year: i don’t see terminator 2 in there, I don’t see wesley snipes. i think it is a little too early for me though

hope i will do many more liveblogginf for the futur thanks gan

New releases

Tuesday, January 26th, 2010

tn_whipitI know I keep reviewing movies that aren’t available yet or that people aren’t gonna bother to see in a theater. Well, I noticed that four movies I previously reviewed are out on DVD today so I though I’d steer people back towards those for further discussion.

I am very fond of WHIP IT

and then there is SOUL POWER

and also MICHAEL JACKSON’S THIS IS IT, although I wouldn’t necessarily recommend renting that if you’re not an MJ fan. If you are then you’ll probly want to buy it, if you’re not then move along.

also we got SURROGATES, the one where Bruce Willis controls a robot of himself and you can tell it’s his robot when he has hair.

Don’t Be…

Friday, January 15th, 2010

ellis-lenoDear Jay Leno,

Come on dude, are you really gonna make me say it? How fuckin hard is it to figure out the right thing to do in this situation? If you take back The Tonight Show then I’ll take back whatever mildly nice things I said about you in my review of LOVE THE BEAST. If you do the right thing I promise I’ll review COLLISION COURSE in your honor.

sincerely,

Vern

p.s. remember when you asked that one lady that easy question and she had the wrong answer, what a dumb bitch huh? Ha ha, great stuff.

Local boy made good: Reggie Watts

Saturday, January 9th, 2010

tn_maktubThroughout the 2000s and going back to the ’90s there was a popular soul/R&B type band in Seattle called Maktub. They had a few locally popular albums and performed all the time, I think I saw them open for George Clinton, maybe The Roots or somebody, and most years they’d be at the annual music festival Bumbershoot. Their singer Reggie Watts also had a solo album which had heavy street promotions and won awards for best local album and all that type of thing. They were a tight band and he was a good singer. I never really followed them closely, but it was hard not to run into them occasionally. In fact, I remember one night I was walking home around 2 am (no buses running) and I was waiting to cross at an intersection. A car stopped and waved me across. I looked at the driver and thought well I’ll be damned, that’s Reggie Watts. I guess he’s a nice guy. (read the rest of this shit…)