"CATCH YOU FUCKERS AT A BAD TIME?"

Frankie Freako

FRANKIE FREAKO is the new one from director Steven Kostanski, who I started paying attention to when he did PSYCHO GOREMAN (2020). He’s Canadian and he’s part of this group called Astron-6 who also did MANBORG, THE VOID, LEPRECHAUN RETURNS and others. I’m gonna have to give those a shot. He was also prosthetic makeup effects lead for IN A VIOLENT NATURE, among other things. They got a fun scene going on up there, those Canadians.

This one is primarily the Astron-6 version of a li’l bastards movie like MUNCHIE or GHOULIES, but it’s also kind of a RISKY BUSINESS “party while the parents are away” movie, and also they work in some 976-EVIL – the kid whose parents are away summons a little guy called Frankie Freako by calling his phone line. Except it’s actually not a kid, it’s a sexually repressed adult man who does this while his wife is out of town on a business trip. The beginning part is lit like a noir-inspired erotic thriller and it plays like a dangerous foray into forbidden sexual desires or some shit. But it’s actually just funny puppets.

Conor (Conor Sweeney, MANBORG) is a stick-up-his-ass dork who thinks he’s a wild man because he used more than one font on a document at work. Hoping to get That Big Promotion he agrees to come in on the weekend to help his pony-tailed boss Mr. Buechler* (Adam Brooks, DARK HARVEST) shred some documents. An obvious frame up, but Conor is a fucking idiot.

The synth-heavy score by Blitz//Berlin (BROOKLYN 45) also drops some smooth softcore saxophone when Conor comes home to his wife Kristina (Kristy Wordsworth, THE SPY WHO NEVER DIES) and her silk negligee, but to her disappointment he only wants to hold hands. She’s clearly tired of him being such a joyless, soggy saltine of a person, so he calls the Frankie Freako hotline he saw advertised on TV. Turns out it doesn’t just play him a recording, it actually summons the little alien party animal (voice of Matthew Kennedy, director of FATHER’S DAY and THE EDITOR), along with his pals Dottie Dunko (Meredith Sweeney) and Crunch (Mike Kostanski). Dottie is a gunslinger with a bandana covering her face (a PUPPET MASTER homage I think), and Crunch is a cyborg who keeps saying “Shabadoo!” (and kind of looks like Agnes Varda?). Frankie is… maybe a demon? Dresses like a biker, has purple hair (including pointy goatee), shades and a t-shirt that says “Party King.” I heard Kostanski on a podcast called Spill Your Guts and he mentioned Andrew Dice Clay and John Travolta’s character in SWORDFISH as influences.

I think the movie’s biggest accomplishment is how well it captures that specific ‘80s/‘90s children’s entertainment way of depicting “cool” as a sloppy amalgamation of sunglasses, pizza, outdated biker/surfer/skater/rocker styles, using party as a verb, playing air guitar, carrying a boombox, etc. To me, just how stupid this guy looks is endlessly funny. He looks like the goblin cousin of Greaser Greg from GARBAGE PAIL KIDS: THE MOVIE, but it plays like we’re supposed to be desperate to make him like us.

Look at this fucking hipster

So it’s kind of like The Cat in the Hat by way of Spuds Mackenzie with a monster who talks like Wolfman Jack and the most product placement you’ve ever seen for Fart Cola. (Or is that a made up product? No way to be sure.) Unlike PSYCHO GOREMAN it’s fairly kid friendly, or at least PG-13. Certain adults (me) will think it’s funny to see a movie where the ultimate act of reckless rebellion is a nerd spray painting “BUTT” across his own living room wall, while perhaps kids will just enjoy seeing the word “BUTT.” So it works on many levels.

I guess there’s one part that’s questionable for kid viewing – also one of the funniest ideas. SPOILER. Conor tries to stop them from going wild, one of the freakos is accidentally killed in the scuffle, there is a long scene of puppet mourning and the grim realization that he’s gone too far. You don’t usually get that in a GHOULIES or whatever. But that’s what cinema is about is journeying into new artistic territory such as tragic freako death.

Of course the biggest selling point is that it’s a very ambitious low budget FX movie with lots of hilariously goofy puppets doing silly shit – popping up on different shelves, swinging on ropes and ceiling fans. I could be wrong but it seemed to me like way more puppets than any of the PUPPET MASTER movies. And I really like that PSYCHO GOREMAN type humor where it seems to be one type of movie and then widens into something else. From this party house comedy it abruptly takes a right turn when we learn that the Freakos have in fact come looking for help because they’re the only resistance against their planet’s fascist ruler President Munch (Rich Evans, who I guess is the character Mr. Plinkett from the Red Letter Media videos people used to say I should watch). So they go to Freak World, a SUPER MARIO BROS. type dark dystopian cityscape where there’s a TEMPLE OF DOOM inspired mine cart chase done in stop motion.

I’m skeptical of ‘80s and ‘90s nostalgia, but this is something different. The specific tone of pastiche/parody, very straight forwardly re-creating a terrible aesthetic and type of humor that was once appreciated non-ironically, feels almost like free basing the most absurd bygone tropes of the era. To me it seems like it’s sort of done lovingly and sort of done as brutal mockery and sort of without judgment, trusting us to know where they’re coming from without having to wink at us. It’s synthesizing heightened but fairly period-accurate bullshit mixed together in strange combinations. Another one of those movies that feels like it’s asking us, “Wouldn’t it be crazy if there was a movie like this?”

If I had to choose, I’d say I’m more of a Goreman Man than a Freako Freak. I liked both the crazy monster and the obnoxious human better in that one. It’s also just a more outlandish mix of two things I enjoy (Mighty Morphin Power Rangers and THE TOXIC AVENGER). Still, this is an ingenious concoction of crazy puppet movie and ‘80s comedy with the soul of an after school cartoon ad break. I got some good laughs out of it.

Listening to interviews with the filmmakers, I learned that there was a delay on a different movie (maybe the DEATHSTALKER remake starring Daniel Bernhardt?) and they’d been marathoning little monster movies and also had been enjoying Youtube compilations of 976 numbers (I’m sure including the Freddy Krueger one that inspired a good joke in this). I didn’t remember this at all but there was an actual 976 number called Freddie Freaker that was a rubber goblin puppet:

As soon as I heard the song I remembered it. Anyway, they understandably wondered what the hell that was and who would call it, so they made a movie about it. Sometimes good art comes from wondering what the deal was with that one thing.


p.s. Props to the marketing team for having this narrator on the trailer:

*I rescind my usual disdain for horror movies with characters named after horror filmmakers in this case, because it’s pretty cool to homage the FX legend who directed TROLL and GHOULIES GO TO COLLEGE as well as working on DOLLS, DEMONIC TOYS and THE GINGERDEAD MAN.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, December 11th, 2024 at 6:55 am and is filed under Reviews, Comedy/Laffs. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.

14 Responses to “Frankie Freako”

  1. I had a blast with this one. I loved that the music for the Frankie Freako 1-900 number commercial is the Pino Donaggio score from BODY DOUBLE.

  2. This looked delightful from the trailer, and Vern’s review confirmed it. I don’t think my 2024 is complete without finding this one.

    THE VOID is not bad, if you’re looking for a more Lovecraftian version of The Thing, but set in a hospital. Nowhere near Carpenter’s film, but still definitely a very respectable effort.

  3. I ordered this immediately. I’ve enjoyed every Astron-6 joint except THE VOID, their one experiment in making a normal movie for boring people. I feel like there are hundreds of filmmakers out there who can make a bog-standard Carpenter riff with neon-pink lighting and one location and desperately intense acting, but only a dozen or so goofball Winnipeggers brave enough to make whatever the hell this is.

    Vern, I think MANBORG is probably their funniest but FATHER’S DAY and THE EDITOR are closer to real movies.

  4. I liked it, but it’s a weird-ass movie, and I didn’t really find it all that funny. But as a goofy recreation of several strands of early 90s low-budget kid’s sfx-based films, it kind of kicks ass. Even the half-arsedness of the jokes felt very much of a piece with the humour in, say, Munchies or Suburban Commando. Arch, good-natured postmodernism, played straight. Maybe.

    THE LAST VIDEOSTORE just came out here on Arrow and is really, really enjoyable. Another very affectionate send-up of the VHS era – it’s a little less memorable than this one, but I liked it better. Not everything on it works, and some of the ‘tropes’ it pretends existed on old movies are weird (the power of friendship in slashers?) but for me it’s got a higher ratio of jokes that work, some killer abstract CGI hallucinations, and it shares a lot of DNA with the Astron-6 crew (Kostaski provides a monster, Mathew Kennedy and Adam Brooks put in appearances.)

  5. I think I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again: you should probably skip LEPRECHAUN RETURNS. I’ve watched every shitty LEPRECHAUN sequel, and RETURNS is the only one I found so boring I just gave up and never finished watching it.

  6. Looking forward to this one.

    I appreciate the Void for the love put into the practical effects, and the Lovecraft/Hellraiser 2
    Hellbound cosmic horror influences but the actors, story, and whatever that ending was just didn’t quite get there to make it an all around good movie.

    Psycho Goreman was the shit though. I still gotta see Fathers Day, The Editor, and Manborg.

    Different filmmakers but is anyone here a Turbo Kid fan? Caught up that one recently and really enjoyed it in the same way Psycho Goreman just hit.
    I looked but couldn’t find a Vern review of it.

  7. “he mentioned Andrew Dice Clay and John Travolta’s character in SWORDFISH as influences.”

    ahhh holy shit Frankie’s hair/facial hair is totally styled after John Swordfish’s try-hard early 00s look! I enjoy Astron 6’s stuff because there is talent and creativity beyond the references, but goddamn I do love how specific and esoteric those references can get.

    A warning if you watch Manborg: I nearly turned it off the first time because the opening sequence is using some kind of after effect to try and make their cheap video look like a war movie, and it was genuinely making my eyes/head hurt. I only kept going because I had bought the movie as an impulse purchase, so I was committed. Thankfully they stop that after that first scene and the rest of the movie is a hilarious DIY romp. I still think of #1 Man on occasion.

    @Kyle- I LOVED Turbo Man. I think Psycho Goreman is funnier and I could see rewatching it more, but Turbo Kid had some genuine heart that surprised me. A lot of that comes down to Apple, that character/performance were incredibly endearing.
    In my year or two reading the archives here, I have seen many commenters mention Turbo Kid, and everyone seemed positive about it. It often seems to be brought up as a counterexample, like people complain about lazy nostalgia-bait or retro-fetishizing 80s-style movies and then say “UNLESS you make something as good as Turbo Kid”.

    Going down that road, did anyone here watch Summer of 84 from the makers of Turbo Kid? It is about a kid who suspects his neighbor is a serial killer, and it starts out seeming like typical 80s movie Amblin or horror-adjacent kid wish fulfilment but takes a darker turn. By the time it came out Stranger Things was big, so it seemed like an also ran with its foul-mouthed 80s kids biking around suburbia, but they are VERY different. I didn’t like it anywhere near as much as Turbo Kid, but I thought it was pretty enjoyable and then effectively upsetting.

  8. Yeah, TURBO KID is legit good. It might scare you off with its winky-nudgy premise, but surprises you by being very obviously made by people who love that kind of movie and laugh with its tropes and cliches and not at them, and also wanted to make a genuine over the top post-apocalyptic adventure with heart and soul.

    I still haven’t watched PSYCHO GOREMAN (or any of the other movies from these guys), but this one here seems for some reason right up my alley. Can’t even put my finger on it why. Maybe it’s because the trailer makes it look like less “OMG THIS IS GONNA BE AN INSTANT CULT CLASSIC Y’ALL” and more like a legitimate homage/parody of a certain kind 80s flick.

  9. BTW, just to clarify, because I only recently heard of that: You Americans had at some point a whole 976 line “culture”, where you could randomly call everybody from He-man to, uhm, Freddy Freaker? Da fuck was up with that? Who dialed these numbers outside of naughty children and drunk fratboys?

    We didn’t have that here, except for the 0190 phonesex lines that advertised deep in the night. Like you would stay up late and watch a re-run of THE GODFATHER or DIE HARD or whatever was on at 1am and the commercial breaks were full of naked women, rubbing on each other, asking us to call them. The most quoted one was definitely the dominatrix that shouted at the camera “Ruf! *whipcrack* Mich! *whipcrack* An! *whipcrack*” (=”Call me”). I don’t think they exist anymore, but they were quite the German running joke for a while.

  10. @CJ- I don’t know who was calling these things, but I do remember a crazy amount of pay-call bullshit advertised in the 90s. Almost every Marvel comic I bought back then advertised their superhero phone “game.” Even as a kid I realized there was no way this could be fun at all and was designed just to get as many paid minutes out of kids as they could. I found one of them here:

    They were enough of a thing to become pop culture punchlines, I remember a very early Simpsons episode where Lisa is addicted to calling the “Corey Hotline,” and the Venture Bros. Christmas episode has Dean calling a paid line for Santa stories.

  11. ah, it tried to turn the link into an image. I googled “marvel touchtone phone game advertisement” if anyone is interested.

  12. @Adam C-Glad to hear that about Turbo Kid. Agreed it was great and 100% Apple is the heart of the movie. Great performance.

    I loved Summer of ‘84. It’s like if Stranger Things had some bite and true danger to it (And I’m a Stranger Things fan). That ending was about perfectly bleak.

    @CJ-if you like Turbo Kid definitely give Psycho Goreman a try. The creativity put into the creature designs alone is worth the watch and it’s got that early 90’s Mighty Morphing Power Rangers vibe like Turbo Kid just more Intergaltic (like Farscape) than Mad Max dystopia.

  13. *intergalactic

  14. The Void is very impressive visually but it began to annoy me quickly. It felt to me like a series of cool images thrown together without enough holding it together. Maybe I’m being too hard on it, but I find bog-standard Carpenter far more satisfying.

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