Remember M.A.N.T.I.S.? It was a 1994 Fox TV show that only lasted one season. It was about paralyzed-from-the-waist-down scientist Miles Hawkins (Carl Lumbly), who builds an exo-skeleton that allows him to not only walk again but to have super strength and also jump high. The first time he tries it out in public he happens to see a woman getting attacked, so he intervenes and kicks some ass, and that gives him the crimefighting bug.
Get it? I said bug, because he’s called MANTIS and I guess he sorta looks like one with the metal helmet with a giant bluetooth on each side like mandibles.
Seven months before the TV show though there was a pilot TV movie (fortunately included on the complete series DVD), which was pretty different and much more watchable. I can’t pretend it plays like a real movie – like the The Flash TV show of a few years earlier it is kinda sad to see a low budget TV crew in Vancouver try to compete with the incredible production design of Tim Burton’s BATMAN – but having recently watched those ROBOCOP TV shows I’m able to appreciate this for what it is: something that is way better than those ROBOCOP TV shows. (read the rest of this shit…)
ARGO is based on an amazing true story, recently declassified and told in this great Wired article. During the Iran hostage crisis, it turns out, the CIA managed to rescue a group of stranded American workers using an unusual cover story: they were part of a Canadian film crew scouting exotic locations for a STAR WARS inspired sci-fi fantasy epic. John Chambers, the genius makeup artist behind the PLANET OF APES series (and played by John Goodman here), had done “some contract work” for the CIA according to the article (let’s hope he gets a whole series of MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE style thrillers) and helped to set up real Hollywood producers and offices for the fake movie. The now-worshipped-by-nerds comic book artist Jack Kirby (seen only in a cameo here, played by DEATH WISH V’s Michael Parks) provided the artwork that they used as pre-production set and costume designs. (read the rest of this shit…)
No man, I don’t got a problem. I just watch Michael Bay movies recreationally. I don’t gotta watch them when I wake up or nothin. It’s just every once in a while. I only watched PEARL HARBOR ’cause I was doing all the summer of 2001 movies. And TRANSFORMERS 3 because I thought it would be funny. Then people said I should watch this one. It’s not a big deal, man. That’s not that many. You don’t know what you’re talking about.
This is the kind of story that’s best to go in dark and just watch how things unfold. But I’m gonna have to describe some of it to explain the movie. At the start Jimmy (David Caruso) is on parole, he’s got a young daughter, and he and his wife (Helen Hunt) are both recovering alcoholics. She got a babysitter so they could go to a meeting together but he didn’t know that was the plan so he already went to a meeting by himself earlier. While he stays home watching the baby his cousin Ronnie (Michael Rappaport) shows up and begs him to come drive a truck loaded with stolen cars. Jimmy tries to throw Ronnie out (“I could go to jail just for talking to you”) but Ronnie has a broken finger and convinces his cousin that somebody’s gonna kill him if he doesn’t find a driver. And Jimmy’s the last on the list. (read the rest of this shit…)
This is a good picture by a Cinema Artist who knows what the fuck he’s doing but still it’s almost too much for ol’ Vern and I’m gonna tell you why. But hold on there bud I’ll get to that in a minute.
The movie starts out with the song “One is the Loneliest Number” and maybe it’s just me but I don’t think it’s a coincidence that every one of the motherfuckers in this movie is lonely as hell. You got the divorced cop who drives around talking to himself about his job pretending he’s on COPS. You got the young coke snorting gal who sleeps with older dudes like myself and enstranges from her parents. You got her dad, the game show host dying of cancer; you got the TV brainiac kid that hates answering questions, the former brainiac that wants braces for god knows why, the old man on his deathbed, his emotionally unstable young wife, his nurse… I mean I could go on all day but you might as well just see the thing and make a list of all the characters yourself. I mean hell I know I’m Writing a review here but you can’t expect miracles out of me jesus. (read the rest of this shit…)
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Andy C. on Love Lies Bleeding: “Looking forward to seeing this movie. For anyone interested (crickets) Kristen Stewart had a great appearance on Colbert last week.” Mar 18, 21:56
Andy C. on Wanted Man: “Finally got the time to listen to the podcast. I enjoyed it. I’m probably wrong and I know you’ve given…” Mar 18, 20:57
Glaive Robber on Love Lies Bleeding: “I left the theater liking this, but the power of the imagery really grew on me. This was an incredible…” Mar 18, 17:42
Ben C. on Sixty Minutes: “This was awesome, full stop. End of review” Mar 18, 13:46
Bill Reed on Rana’s Wedding: “Just chiming in to say I appreciate you reviewing a Palestinian’s director’s filmography. Abu-Assad was not a director with whom…” Mar 18, 07:53
VERN on Vern’s Oscar Round-Up and 2023 Recap Thing: “I thought the supporting actress one was great, they were making them cry and honoring them even without winning. But…” Mar 17, 18:28
Glaive Robber on The Mountain Between Us: “Maybe I’m asking a bigger question here. But I feel like this movie asks what we want from Idris Elba…” Mar 15, 22:58
Glaive Robber on Rana’s Wedding: “I don’t have a ton of affection for this director but it’s very cool you reviewed this.” Mar 14, 15:17
CJ Holden on The Mountain Between Us: “I actually remember this movie. I haven’t seen it, but the poster and reading about it made me go “Oh…” Mar 14, 11:55
CJ Holden on John Wick Chapter 4: “I finally caught up on this and it’s a nice rebound from all the frustratingly convoluted GAME OF THRONES shit…” Mar 13, 22:40
VERN on Scream VI: “Spyglass Entertainment fired part 5 and 6 star Melissa Barrera specifically for a couple of pro-peace and pro-Palestine Instagram posts,…” Mar 13, 12:57
VERN’S “I RECOMMEND THE SHIT OUT OF THIS PRODUCT” CORNER: