Archive for the ‘Documentary’ Category

Aileen Wuornos: The Selling of a Serial Killer

Tuesday, October 1st, 2002

You know, there are alot of really spectacular documentary type pictures out there and it seems like a common feature to almost all of them is a really strange cast of characters that you couldn’t make up. Pictures like AMERICAN MOVIE, AMERICAN PIMP, GREY GARDENS, CRUMB, SALESMAN, DERBY, BIGGIE AND TUPAC, PARADISE LOST, WRESTLING WITH SHADOWS, BROTHER’S KEEPER, BEYOND THE MAT… these are full of these people that are too real to be in a fictional movie and yet somehow more interesting and bizarre than most of the people I ever end up hanging out with. Not that I’d want to hang out with that maniac with the lopsided head in PARADISE LOST, or Jake “The Snake” Roberts. The american movie dude seems kinds of cool, though.

But I mean how do they know it’s gonna happen that way? What if they zero in on a topic that in itself is fascinating but then it turns out all the people involved are pretty regular and don’t have anything funny to say about it? How is it that guys like the Maysles and this Nick Broomfield can have such high batting averages in this department?

I mean when you decide to make a documentary about the media crowned “america’s first female serial killer”, for once a prostitute who kills johns instead of the other way around, a woman who claims to have only killed people who tried or succeeded to rape her (which, for a prostitute, is not too far out a story), and the jury didn’t believe her because they didn’t know the victim had spent ten years in prison for attempted rape, you already know you got an interesting topic. And I guess you can assume this Aileen is gonna be somewhat interesting.

But you don’t necessarily know you’re gonna get a spacey born again Christian who legally adopts the 35 year old Wuornos “because Jesus told me to.” Or an author of a book on Wuornos who sounds absolutely disgusted with Wuorno’s lack of effort in marketing herself as a prostitute. Or a burnt out longhair public defender who smokes seven joints on the way to prison, puts Bob Marley on the answering machine at his law office, plays guitar and sings for the camera and tries to make jokes to cover up his discomfort as he accepts money on camera as Aileen’s “agent”. (more…)

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Biggie and Tupac

Monday, June 3rd, 2002

Dearest Harry and Moriarty,

It has been a while since I’ve had my works printed on your page there (ain’t it cool news) but this time I got somethin that I think will move your heart. I know how much Tupac and Biggie Smalls mean to you young people today so I’m sure both of you are very anxious to see BIGGIE AND TUPAC, the new documentary about them from Nick Broomfield (who directed the Heidi Fleiss picture and maybe more in this vein, KURT AND COURTNEY). Because Tupac means to a young man like Harry or Moriarty the same thing Bob Dylan or Johnny Cash meant to their dads, only with more tattoos and brighter colored suits.

This is the story of Tupac and Biggie, who started as friends, then had a rivalry, then both were murdered in what was seen as the culmination of an “east coast, west coast” rap feud. It is told through photos, blurry archival video, but mostly Broomfield’s usual style of interviews, which often come as a surprise to the interviewees. He talks to many friends of the rappers, bodyguards, police, witnesses. The obvious reason why this is an important story: these are two of the biggest stars in music, they were murdered less than a year apart, and neither of their murders have been solved.

How is this possible? If Carmen Electra and some dude from ER got murdered, do you think they’d just let the case sit there and collect dust? I think the shooters would have their death certificates on Access Hollywood by the end of the week. But America doesn’t treat rap stars that way. David Letterman made fun of Tupac in his monologue for the days he sat in a hospital dying. And there’s a reason why they don’t want this case solved. More on that in five paragraphs. (more…)

The Original Kings of Comedy

Friday, August 18th, 2000

This is a new comedy concert movie directed by Spike Lee. Instead of having somebody good like Richard Pryor as the star, the gimmick here is that it’s Steve Harvey, D.L. Hughley, Cedric the Entertainer and Bernie Mac.

Just kidding bud the truth is these guys aren’t bad. I never even heard of the motherfuckers but apparently that’s what all the white people say. Sorry boys. They are popular enough to fill up a god damn stadium in Charlotte, North Carolina so they must be pretty popular there, in my opinion. Unless they just let everybody in for free but I don’t think they did.

Apparently a couple of these motherfuckers have shows on pbs or one of those type of stations that nobody watches. One is called the steve harvey show, the other is called d.l. Hughley presents The Hughleys. Now one thing I wanna know, if these motherfuckers are so funny why they can’t come up with a real name for a show. No, it’s gotta be The Steve Harvey Show. The Hughleys. The Wayans Brothers. The Jamie Foxx show. Martin. the Drew Carey Show. Seinfeld. Ellen. Roseanne. The Cosby Show. Norm. Titus. The Jeff Foxworthy Show.

I mean whatever happened to Mama’s Family, or Leave It to Beaver. Even the fucking Jeffersons. At least they didn’t call it the Sherman Helmsley Show. JESUS YOU PEOPLE, COME UP WITH A FUCKING TITLE. No more of this generic working title bullshit. Come on people. (more…)

Trekkies

Monday, July 24th, 2000

First off, an update on the International Badass Committee’s 100 Most Badass Films of All Time project. I am currently tabulating all of the mathematical equations, the scoring, the points and what not. It is a very complicated type of process which I will not bother to bore you with but let’s just say it requires both addition, subtraction and other forms of mathematical skills which, to be frankly honest I am not the best at. So if Soccer Dog: The Movie or some shit like that ends up winning, that is why. Human error.

Also did you know there is a movie out now called The Real Mackaw that is about a talking parrot named Mack that knows all the secrets of the pirates. I mean jesus these Hollywood people what goes on over there.

Anyway point is, this is your LAST FUCKING CHANCE folks. While I am calculating and formulating all of this data and what not, I am going to give you the last call to be a part of this important historical and cinematical event. If you forgot to vote or even if you did vote but forgot a few pictures, this week you can still send in a list. These will only be given one point for now but they will be voted on in the next round so who knows they could still make it.

Yes, you read me right, there is going to be another round in order to make this more accurate and scientifical. I hope you motherfuckers who already voted won’t mind if later this week I e-mail you a survey to vote on.

Anyway enough of that garbage let’s get to the column. Although I am obviously VERY fucking established at this point in my opinion, I am still relatively new to the movie web sight game and sometimes there is shit nobody tells me. For example nobody told me you’re supposed to go to San Diego this week for some comic strip convention. Hell even if they told me I can’t afford that kind of nonsense on my budget. (more…)

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