“I’m Paul Barlow, and this is my daughter Jo.”

“Malone.”

“You got a first name?”

“Yeah.”

I Got the Hook-Up

May 27, 1998

I have to admit I’ve never paid much attention to rapper turned filmmaker (I guess?) Master P. I say “I guess” because I GOT THE HOOK-UP is credited as “A MASTER P film,” but it’s directed by Michael Martin, a guy who directed some Outkast videos and the nearly unwatchable Snoop Dogg DTV movie EASTSIDAZ. P did write it though, along with Leroy Douglas and Carrie Mungo (who don’t have any other IMDb credits).

P grew up in the projects in New Orleans, studied business administration at a college in Oakland, and used money from a malpractice settlement related to the death of his grandfather to open a store called No Limit Records, which eventually turned into a record label of the same name. He released his first tape in 1990 and had five albums by the time he moved back to New Orleans in 1995 and built an empire with other rappers including Mystikal (currently on trial for rape) and his brothers C-Murder (now serving a life sentence for murder) and Silkk the Shocker (not accused of anything).

P’s mainstream breakthrough was the 1997 album Ghetto D, which went triple-platinum partly on the strength of the song “Make ‘Em Say Uhh!”, which is about making ’em say “Uhh!” Thanks to the success of the label and smart investing, at the time of I GOT THE HOOK-UP, P was #10 on Forbes magazine’s list of America’s highest paid entertainers. He had starred in and co-directed the straight to video I’M BOUT IT, with another one called MP DA LAST DON coming in December of ’98. I’ve never really looked into any of these things, but summer of ’98 hosted his first theatrical release, I GOT THE HOOK-UP, so I decided this would be a good time to try to figure out what was up with that.

P plays Black, a charming hustler who, with his short, constantly riffing sidekick Blue (A.J. Johnson, HOUSE PARTY, LETHAL WEAPON 3, MENACE II SOCIETY, PANTHER) runs a “shopping center” out of some rusty cars and vans in a parking lot in L.A. I’m unclear what their primary business is, but they have some clothes hanging up and we know they sell big, broken TVs and also milk. Somehow this seems to make them high rollers in the neighborhood.

Then one day Black receives somebody else’s delivery of Motorola phones, gets Blue’s brother (Anthony Boswell) – or possibly Little Brother is just his name – to put chips in them, and makes a deal to have sex twice a week with phone company insider Lorraine (Gretchen Palmer, WISHMASTER) in exchange for covering up his use of cloned numbers (or something). Then he sells phones to everybody in the neighborhood, tries not to get busted by a corny narc from the insurance company (Frantz Turner, SHORT TERM 12) and gets threatened by a gangster’s scary henchman played, of course, by Tommy “Tiny” Lister (BEVERLY HILLS COP II). Tiny’s boss Roscoe (the rapper Fiend) is only a voice heard over a speaker, like Charlie in Charlie’s Angels.

It’s not what I expected. It looks pretty polished. Back then you had to shoot on film, and I was surprised by the level of production design on that market.

P is definitely working in an area carved out by FRIDAY, so he has not only Lister, but a cameo by Cube himself (Blue calls him “you fat, Ice Cube lookin motherfucker.”) And John Witherspoon as Blue’s uncle Mr. Mimms, who pretends to repair TVs, but the back room of his shop is actually a personal strip club that he hangs out in all day.

But remember, FRIDAY had Craig getting ahold of a gun to try to solve his Tiny Lister problem and being taught by his dad that if you’re gonna fight you should do it with fists and not kill somebody. This is the opposite. Tiny pulls a gun on him so he pulls out two guns and acts like it’s the most incredible move anybody has ever come up with. This doesn’t have the storytelling of FRIDAY or the heart.

Much of the story makes very little sense, and it gets more scatter-brained and silly as it goes along. Like, there’s a big reveal that two white cops (one played by Joe Estevez, BREAKAWAY) are actually black guys wearing masks like V aliens. I never figured out why.

Snoop also has a cameo, just playing pool in one scene. That reminds you that it’s set it in L.A. and not New Orleans, which P was so proud to represent in most of his endeavors. Just making the movie where everybody else does makes it seem more mercenary and less like a pure Master P expression. But I guess at least it doesn’t look like the exact same locations that everybody else uses.

There’s a cross-dressing or transsexual character named Tootsie Pop (Harrison White, “Cop on SWAT Team,” SE7EN) and there are little people. Who are into S&M. And it freaks out some cops so bad they shoot one of them. There’s a fine line between Jamaa Fanaka style “these are the colorful people of my world” and “Ha ha, look at these freaks,” and I believe this is the second one. I say this mainly because of the extended joke about the insurance guy getting seduced by Tootsie Pop without realizing what sort of equipment he should be expecting down there. Tootsie plays it straight enough that I felt bad for her, but it’s definitely aiming for gay panic.

And of course there’s all kinds of talk about bitches and getting coochie and etc. There’s kind of a good cop bad cop thing going where Blue talks about bitch this and bitch that and Black is more of a smooth talking gigolo. He is pretty charismatic even though he’s a dumb ass. Lorraine smiles and laughs when she brings him to “that Japanese restaurant” and he acts like it’s weird and uses the chopsticks as drumsticks and keeps saying “cheeseburga” in a racist sounding fake accent, I think in reference to that John Belushi samurai character from SNL.

But easily the most offensive and “they definitely wouldn’t do that in a movie now” joke is a hitman character who’s supposed to be disabled. He has a handicapped placard on his bike which is covered in junk, and he wears a football helmet and has movements and a voice like something out of a speech that Trump would make and then deny even though everybody has seen the video of it. I suspect the character was inspired by the Damon Wayans character “Handi Man” from In Living Color. I should say that back in the day I had a friend who worked with disabled kids and he claimed they loved Handi Man because they saw him as a super hero who was like them. I continue to be skeptical of that but at any rate I doubt they would feel the same about this hitman character who tries to chase somebody but tips over and starts crying.

A good example of both the level of storytelling and of humor is that at the climax Tiny has Black and Blue at gunpoint and is about to execute them, but announces he has to take a shit first. They of course comically outsmart his henchmen and then roll his Porta-Potty down a hill. Sadly, there’s no shot of him wearing boxers with hearts on them. That would’ve been so funny because of his pants fall down ha ha.

Also there’s a part where Blue does pretend kung fu and moves his mouth out of sync from his voice like a badly dubbed movie. Yes, ripping off a fuckin Michael Winslow POLICE ACADEMY routine. Doesn’t get much lower than that.

So there’s a ton of bad humor in this, but I laughed a few times too. It actually reminded me a little bit of a Rudy Ray Moore film in that it has all these characters who seem like they’re probly just comedians doing shtick and going on tirades. For example the movie actually opens on a long shot of Nasty Mouth Carla (Tangie Ambrose, JACKIE’S BACK!) and Bad Mouth Bessie (Sheryl Underwood, BEAUTY SHOP) — or as Blue calls them, “the Ghetto Twins, Ugh and Lee” — pushing a TV down the street and talking about their pussies and stuff. Bessie hits on John Witherspoon: “I heard about you, man. Fucking all the young girls in the neighborhood. Ya need to get a old ho like myself. A bitch that can suck your dick and make biscuits from scratch.”

They’re just some customers who are angry about being sold a bad TV, otherwise they’re not important to the plot, but they get all this time to riff. Maybe they’re the R2D2 and C3PO of this movie.

And there’s a crazy scene where Black is trying to do business at the funeral of a gangster. Suddenly a lady (Izetta Karp, Granny from BLACK DYNAMITE) walks in and everybody gasps. Little Brother explains: “Oh shit, man. It’s that old bitch Miss Rose. She swore that if Barrelhead ever died before she did she’d spit in his coffin. As a kid, Barrelhead did some terrible things. He once broke in her house, stole all her appliances, pissed on her porch and shit in her house.” So there’s this weird little story about a brawl at a funeral that has nothing to do with anything. But it’s one of the best parts I think?

The comedic moment that impressed me most (admittedly a low bar) is when Black is on the phone with Lorraine talking about what he’s going to wear when he meets her for a date and Blue is with him, barking in his ear about things to tell her. And they clearly had him improvise a bunch of different lines, Apatow style, but instead of just using one they jump cut through six or seven of them:

“Tell her I have on some gym socks and a backstage pass from a Kool Moe Dee concert”

“Tell her I’ma be asshole-naked with some handcuffs and a whip. And a hula skirt. And a saddle on my back. With a big ass NFL hat on.”

The barrage of increasingly nonsensical shit makes it funny. I’ve never seen it done that way before but it totally worked. Outtakes in the actual movie instead of the end credits. Kind of a revolutionary technique I think.

The soundtrack is better than most of these ’98 movies because it’s not only No Limit shit – they use N.W.A’s “100 Miles and Runnin’,” Theme from SHAFT, “Pusherman,” Ice Cube, UGK, Ol’ Dirty Bastard, and more.

I’ve been noting the dated technology and references in these summer of ’98 movies, and this has the biggest one because the whole plot revolves around cell phones being something that average people don’t have – it is sort of democratizing for Black to give them to people cheap. And the phones are flip phones. And Black always specifies that they are cellular phones. Although he usually pronounces it more like “cell’ar phone.”

I GOT THE HOOK-UP opened at #6 below fellow rapper BULWORTH in its third week but above the debut of the Christopher Guest directed posthumous Chris Farley vehicle ALMOST HEROES. Ultimately HOOK-UP made around $10 million, but it was a low budget movie (reportedly $3.5 million, about the same as FRIDAY) so especially after DVD I’m sure they made some money. The next year P wrote and co-starred in FOOLISH with Eddie Griffin, but that one did worse. Then he started having small roles in bigger movies – GONE IN SIXTY SECONDS, UNDISPUTED (he’s one of the rappers that perform in the ring before the fight), HOLLYWOOD HOMICIDE, an episode of CSI: NY – while continuing with his DTV rapper vehicles like HOT BOYZ, LOCKDOWN and STILL ‘BOUT IT.

Then he co-created the teen sitcom Romeo!, which ran on Nickelodeon from 2003-2006. It stars his real son, already a No Limit rapper under the name Lil Romeo, and he plays the father. From what I’ve read it sounds like they’re playing themselves, except in the show they live in Seattle for some reason (filmed in Vancouver, of course). So (again, like Ice Cube) P started making family entertainment, such as UNCLE P (2007) where “Rapper/multi-millionair P. Miller becomes the guardian of his sister’s three children – all of whom need a father figure in their lives.”

My exposure to P’s music is limited to around the time of this movie, when Snoop Dogg signed to No Limit for three albums. Da Game Is to Be Sold, Not to Be Told is an awkward mix of Snoop and crude No Limit style production and guest stars, but No Limit Top Dogg has some amazing songs on it, such as the Dre-produced “Buck ‘Em” featuring TV’s Blade:

Oh, and “Just Dippin'”:

This was when we were still waiting for The Chronic 2001, so this polished Dre style was mind-blowingly new. Now it’s old but still great. Tha Last Meal has a couple Dre tracks too, and I think it was pretty good, but I don’t remember any specifics.

I don’t think I would be into any other No Limit stuff, but if you want to make a pitch for one in the comments I will listen with an open mind. I have a feeling this is the best of the movies. It’s definitely no FRIDAY or HOUSE PARTY, so I’m good with just watching the one.

P.S. Apparently they’re make a part 2?

VERN has been reviewing movies since 1999 and is the author of the books SEAGALOGY: A STUDY OF THE ASS-KICKING FILMS OF STEVEN SEAGAL, YIPPEE KI-YAY MOVIEGOER!: WRITINGS ON BRUCE WILLIS, BADASS CINEMA AND OTHER IMPORTANT TOPICS and NIKETOWN: A NOVEL. His horror-action novel WORM ON A HOOK will arrive later this year.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, June 12th, 2018 at 11:43 am and is filed under Comedy/Laffs, Reviews. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.

30 Responses to “I Got the Hook-Up”

  1. Once I went to Subway and my Sandwich Artist was complaining about them always playing Meghan Trainor. I asked what music she liked, and she said Master P (this was in 2014 or something). I didn’t know much except that Master P used to be extremely popular and had the lead single for SCREAM 2. It was an interesting conversation, so I gave the Subway three-stars on Yelp. That’s all I got. I have never seen this film.

  2. I used to listen almost exclusively to hip-hop. Then shit like Master P started getting big and I decided, “Hey, you know what, I bet all these other forms of music have something to offer, too.” This era, along the rise of Puffy, represented a lowering of standards that the genre has still not recovered from. Up until that point, you couldn’t get a record deal without some kind of skills. Then all of a sudden you could. The bar’s gotten a little lower every year since.

    So I have not seen this movie is what I’m saying. I almost recommended the one Master P song I like but then I realized it’s a Trick Daddy song.

  3. Being a wrestling fan, the only thing I know Master P from is his stint in WCW. At this point WCW had gone overboard into bringing as much outside attention as they could, having athletes like Dennis Rodman (who I remember actually being good in the ring) and later on Jay Leno (not so good in the ring). The whole Master P debacle is a bit fuzzy having been lost to time for me, except a few key facts. They were brought in to feud with a tag team that called themselves the West Texas Rednecks (including the late Curt Hennig, from Minnesota), who in interviews were saying they hated rap (they even did a song called “Rap is Crap” that actually got some play on country stations). The reason I called it a debacle is that it blew up in the company’s face when fans (mostly in southern cities, as WCW was based out of Atlanta) started to boo Master P and his entourage (who even did a segment that was basically a birthday party for his nephew), and cheer the “bad guys”. Rather than let it linger and let it cause a race war on Monday nights, the company wisely killed the whole angle off.

  4. Master P never became a household name in Germany. OOOHWEEEE was a top 10 single here, but if I remember right, that was the only one that ever cracked our charts. (Although KENNY’S DEAD from the surprisingly great SOUTH PARK album got a lot of airplay on our music TV channels.)

    To be honest, the only thing that I think about when it comes to the topic of Master P, is a joke from D. L. Hughley’s sitcom THE HUGHLEYS. In one episode a character sold all kinds of bootleg stuff, including shirts of musicians, that were purposely misspelled by just one letter, to make it not too obvious. The sight of a “Shanaia Twain” shirt led to the following exchange:

    “What do you gonna do when Master P comes to town?”
    “You mean Mister P?”

    For some reason that still makes me chuckle and to be honest, it sounds funnier than this movie. But I won’t rule out that 16 year old me would’ve liked it.

  5. Winslow did the kung fu dubbing thing? I’ve always liked Don Reed’s shtick.

  6. In the spirit of onthewall’s comment, the only thing *I* know Master P from (aside from being generally aware that he’s a rapper, but not knowing his music) is his being on the Toronto Raptors training camp roster in 1999. He’s still vaguely associated with the Raptors today, because he’s a close friend of their star player DeMar DeRozan. DeRozan is in one of Master P’s videos, and back in the day DeRozan even got his son (Lil’ Romeo, as Vern mentioned) a USC scholarship and onto their Division I basketball team, where he played 19 minutes in two years.

  7. Wow Vern, you are full of surprises. I know nothing about this movie. I’d say I’ve never even heard of it but the title sounds familiar so I may have known it was playing or when it came out on video.

    God damn, 1998 was weird.

  8. This sounds pretty awful I’m sorry to say.

    However I’ve always thought ALMOST HEROES was way underrated, I had no idea it tanked that hard in theaters, but it was probably too soon after Farley’s death.

    I myself had never even heard of the movie until it came out on video.

  9. Another shout out to ALMOST HEROES. I must’ve seen it a couple of times in the theater, and I’d own it if I had ever come across a dvd of it. But, for whatever reason, I haven’t.

    I had my finger on the pulse of the community in ’98, but I’ve never heard of I GOT THE HOOK-UP, nor do I have any anecdotal stories about Master P. Sorry about that.

  10. As the local ‘Nawlins boy let me tell you that there was no one more popular than Master P when he was at his height down here. I wasn’t interested in hip hop at the time so I can only tell you as an outsider that there was a whole lot of pride in him making it big.

    Also there was a lot of excitement for this movie and for the week after it came out it was talked about fondly and then I’m pretty sure they forgot about it.

  11. grimgrinningchris

    June 13th, 2018 at 5:40 am

    Why did he never have a record called “Master P’s Theater”?

    That Trick Daddy song “Uh Huh, Okay, What’s Up, Shut Up” song is what made me realize hip hop had really gone off the rails.

  12. My Master P story is that a friend of mine bought a 12-inch talking Master P doll (from “No Limit Toys”) which, with a squeeze, would solemnly intone “Uuuuh, Na na na na” two times. My friend was so fond of it that he brought it with him everywhere he went for years, and it became something of a mascot at our school. To my knowledge, “Uhhhhh, na na na na” is the only line of rap by Master P that I have ever heard.

  13. As maybe the only big Master P fan in the comments so far, I’ll say that I’m Bout It is a far superior movie to I Got the Hookup, even though the latter cost probably 50x more. It’s got a real eccentric charm to it.

    Both soundtracks are absolute classics. I think I like IGTHU a little more, just for the UGK, Ice Cube, and Mystikal/ODB tracks. I’m also quite fond of the title track. UHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

  14. Does this mean we’re going to get Vern to review the new Superfly?

  15. grimgrinningchris

    June 13th, 2018 at 10:32 am

    What about that news that Craig Brewer is directing a script from the guys that wrote Ed Wood about the life of Rudy Ray Moore with Eddie Murphy starring?

  16. Hey, Free Dummy

    June 13th, 2018 at 8:19 pm

    I’m from the south and had a bunch of friends in college in NOLA during the No Limit heyday and I can attest that it was incredibly exciting that southern hip hop was blowing up even though we all knew the No Limit stuff was objectively terrible. On the up side, they were doing brilliant shit in Atlanta and Houston and Cash Money had some good beats at least.

    Anyway, one of my friends bought I’m Bout It on VHS and the two things I remember about it are that it had a big “BANNED FROM THEATERS” banner across the box (lol yeah sure) and that after the movie for no reason at all there was like 20 minutes of footage of strippers.

    Uhhn indeed.

  17. grimgrinningchris

    June 14th, 2018 at 4:41 am

    Yeah, I lived in New Orleans from 97 to 01 so I can corraborate the huge hometown pride in No Limit and Cash Money going on at the time (and this movie as well- they did a big Hollywood style premiere at the Joy on Canal St)- though almost all of that stuff was garbage. Also, Juvenile’s account was at the Bank One that my job shared a building with so I saw that dude every other day. Funny thing, Juvenile… for some reason his performance fees nearly doubled from ’16 to ’18 (I’d booked him several times at the club in FL that I work for) even though his draw didn’t increase. So either he went broke again or decided (wrongly) that people suddenly cared about that last, crappy record he put out. Fun shows though, but yeah, garbage music.

  18. Wait, wait, wait, Mystikal’s on trial for rape AGAIN?

    Dude lives in a fucking crazy demon world…

    But… I still stand by his first record

  19. Juve is the greatest. I’ve got Soulja Rags in the car CD player right now. Weird that he doubled his price though. He might be overestimating the reemergence of bounce music.

    Related to rap movies: Vern, you should review this movie A Day in the Life, starring/written by/directed by Sticky Fingaz. All the dialogue is rapped. It’s not really like anything else I’ve ever seen. Highly recommend.

  20. This movie sounds so weird. I think I have to watch it.

    Also, that poster might be the worst poster I have ever seen. Everything about it Is bad. The typeface. The unconnected photoshop images. The way too big hand in the center. The even worse typeface saying “hookup” on the phone’s screen. The *third* terrible typeface with the execrable summary/tagline. There isn’t a single good thing going on in this Key art.

  21. grimgrinningchris

    June 14th, 2018 at 3:07 pm

    john-

    Outside of the obvious (and seeing him at the bank) my main exposures to Juvenile have been live. And while he rapped with an actual live DJ on one of the shows- on the others, he rapped over a “DJ” hitting PLAY and over his own vocal tracks- which ALWAYS makes everything sound like garbage.

  22. grimgrinningchris

    June 14th, 2018 at 3:08 pm

    Also, since it seems to have gone unmentioned…

    DIMENSION FILMS presents

    Man Grunts

    Hahahahahah…

  23. Mr. Majestyk, sorry in advance if you stepped on a bit of a personal landmine with this comment.

    “This era, along the rise of Puffy, represented a lowering of standards that the genre has still not recovered from. Up until that point, you couldn’t get a record deal without some kind of skills. Then all of a sudden you could. The bar’s gotten a little lower every year since.”

    It’s seriously insane to look back at what was coming out week by week in the early 90s in hip hop. Finding good rap albums was as easy as drawing breath. It’s the best period in American music since like ’67-74. Now there are like 5 well known figures in rap who actually originated in the post-golden era, and an argument could be made that they are primarily brand spokespeople / marketers and secondarily musicians (regardless of their TALENT as musicians, even…).

    I’m trying my best to empathize with you, because I estimate from various OutlawVern comment section lore that you have about 5 years on me and were engaged with this music DURING that era rather than in retrospect like me. The Master P / Puff Daddy / Samples-are-illegal-now era is the hip hop world as I came to new it, and I had to actively engage and seek out good hip hop. Blessings upon the 56k modem that helped with that.

    So, yes, mainstream hip hop had this unprecedented Golden Age, and now the dream of being a superstar god is dead and the ability to make music has been so democratized that anybody can do it. And I guess I’m trying to beat around coming out and saying: You were spoiled by that age and didn’t develop the particular skillset needed to digest music in the bandcamp climate.

    I think there’s so much great music to discover these days that it’s impossible to keep up. And, when you support it and go out and see shows, you’re putting money literally into the hands of the artists who created it instead of paying the corporate middlemen rotting the core of an industry that was shitty to both fans and artists and was poised to implode. It really breaks my heart when people who I know to be passionate about art are somehow totally immune to the renaissance that is afoot, because I can’t imagine a more exciting and rewarding time to be a fan of music.

  24. I agree with what you’re saying in concept. I just have this little problem of not really liking very much of the music that this glorious age of democratization has produced. Like, you’d think ultimate freedom would inspire some mad genius to make some really wild, revolutionary shit, but if that motherfucker exists, I’ve seen no evidence of it. I haven’t heard one artist who sounds new to me. It’s just different combinations of the same shit, played with progressively fewer chops.

    I tried, man. I spent a lot of years staying optimistic and keeping up with the new stuff that was coming out. I found a few artists I like and a lot of stuff I listened to a couple times and never thought about again. Most of the rock bands are wieners with no grit or soul and most of the rappers have zero mic skills and production so boring and plodding that I hesitate to even call it hip-hop. I got so much music I love from so many different eras (and I’m finding more all the time) that there’s little impetus to wade through all the dregs to find those few gems. I’ve actively disliked going to live shows for the past ten years so I can’t even be motivated to find some currently touring acts to support. There are so many other creative mediums that I find more satisfying to explore that I’m okay with letting the kids have this era to themselves.

    Also, I’ve started making my own bizarre, sample-based music, so I’m kind of being self-sufficient on that front.

  25. Sample based Majestyk music. I’m intrigued.

  26. “Intriguing” is about the best I can hope for, given my amateur status in this field. I would describe my stuff as some combination of DJ Shadow, Mike Patton, and Girl Talk, but with more guitar solos than that comparison might imply. I record under the name Walker Sexist Mangler. I try to make it clear from the album titles (FUCKBOY MASSACRE, PATRIARCHICIDAL TENDENCIES, SOCIAL JUSTICE WARLOCK, etc.) that I’m a guy who mangles sexists, not a sexist who mangles.

    Bear in mind that I have no real knowledge of how music works, and that I generally just find elements I like and try to slap them together in ways that seem weird or funny. I feel like I specialize in interesting failures. I suck at syncing up vocals so most of the “lyrics” in my “songs” (they’re more like soundscapes most of the time) are dialogue samples from whatever I can get my hands on. I use movie clips, spoken word, audiobooks, interviews, rap skits, whatever’s handy, and I use those to try to imply some sort of story or theme. I’m treating this as a journey, not a destination, so I let my “music” become whatever it wants to become without trying to force it. This is very different than the way I go about my primary creative endeavor (fiction writing) so it uses a different, more abstract part of my brain. The process is kind of maddening but a lot of fun. It’s been very rewarding to find a new craft to explore so late in life. Thank you, technology, for letting even a tuneless asshole like me get the theme music of my Calvinball of a brain out there into the world, even if no one but me ever hears it.

  27. Well, if there will ever be a possibility to listen to your shit, let me know.
    And yeah, I know how difficult it is to make music. My harddrive is full of unfinished music, from more commercial House tracks, to weird sample orgies, to Hip Hop instrumentals. But you know me. 99% of the time I start something, I realize that it will never be good enough and I abandon it.

    So good luck with your stuff.

  28. I’m not trying to brag, because I’d imagine making good, accomplished music is super hard, but I’ve found making music my way to be almost shamefully easy. I just use GarageBand, which is a ridiculously intuitive program that streamlines the process to an astonishing degree. Within a few hours of using it for the first time, I had a perfectly listenable if a little simplistic little tune. It was extremely encouraging and hooked me right away. It’s a little harder when I make the song out of samples and not just Garage Band loops (which I sometimes feel are cheating) but I’m still shocked at how easy it is if you’re not trying to force a song to sound any particular way.

    I’d love to get some feedback on some of this stuff, so let me know where you want me to send you a few samples and I’ll happily do that.

  29. I use Ableton Lite, plus an actual Midi Keyboard and a few pads and controllers that I the rest of the time use for DJing purposes. BTW, not sure if you know the Converse Sample Library (just google it), but it’s site where actual musicians put up sounds from Jam sessions that are 100% free to use for your music. Definitely a good project.

    As for listening to your stuff: I would say make an account at hearthis.at (Which is like Soundcloud, but before it became shitty), make your uploads private (unless you want others to hear them too), then look on that site for Psychofrakulator (which is me) and send me a message.

  30. Let me put it another way. Either humans abruptly ran out of new ideas after thousands of years of making music, or it’s the way you’re listening that changed. I look forward to the epiphany that changes your mind, I know it’s coming :)

    Hey CJ, hearthis.at looks pretty cool, thanks for the tip

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