"CATCH YOU FUCKERS AT A BAD TIME?"

Posts Tagged ‘Julia Stiles’

Orphan: First Kill

Tuesday, August 30th, 2022

ORPHAN: FIRST KILL is a good version of a usually under-appreciated popular art form: the knowingly-trashy-but-not-too-winky-about-it horror-thriller. I’m surprised and happy to see it getting as much love as it is, and hopefully that’s not setting expectations too high. I think it could kinda be like a 21st century version of the STEPFATHER trilogy. Though both started with the loose inspiration of real life crimes, the ORPHAN premise has the advantage of seeming much more absurd from the beginning, and therefore more ripe for escalation. I haven’t seen anyone arguing that it’s exploitative (in a bad way) to continue the adventures of Esther nee Leena (Isabelle Furhman, THE HUNGER GAMES), the (spoiler for ORPHAN part 1) dangerous escaped mental patient who pretends to be an innocent little girl.

I probly didn’t need that spoiler warning. By now anybody who knows what ORPHAN is knows that wild plot twist: the adopted little girl who’s been terrorizing Vera Farmiga and making everybody think she’s crazy and abusive turns out to be a woman in her 30s with a rare hormonal disorder and a false identity. What makes this prequel so unlikely and so delightfully audacious is that Fuhrman originally played the character when she was around 12, and instead of recasting they brought her back at the age of 24, using Hobbitvision (forced perspective and body doubles) to make her look small. I honestly found it easy to forget, but just knowing they went through the trouble for this movie gives it an extra kick. (read the rest of this shit…)

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Horror, Reviews, Thriller | 6 Comments »

Edmond

Wednesday, April 15th, 2020

When we lost the great Stuart Gordon recently, I realized there were a few of his films I still hadn’t seen. It’s kind of nice, actually, to still have something left to discover. There’s a particular one that happens in space that involves truckers that I honestly have wanted to see since before it even came out, and somehow never have. It’ll be a few weeks before I can finally change that, because I decided to order a UK Blu-Ray instead of pay Amazon to stream it in standard def. But I wanted to watch this one first anyway – the one based on the David Mamet play.

Gordon and Mamet, if you don’t know, go way back. Long before RE-ANIMATOR, Gordon was doing envelope-pushing theater work in Chicago. He directed, at his Organic Theater Company, the production of Sexual Perversity in Chicago credited with establishing Mamet as a playwright, although there was an earlier one starring William H. Macy, who also stars in this movie.

Here he plays Edmond Burke, a dude who works for some kind of financial firm called Stearns & Harrington. He’s apparently had a bad day (his meeting on Monday got pushed back to 1:15 – WHAT IN THE LIVING GOD DAMN FUCK!?) when he heads home and, on a whim, stops to get a tarot reading. She tells him “You don’t belong here.” (read the rest of this shit…)

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Drama, Reviews | 12 Comments »

Hustlers

Wednesday, December 18th, 2019

HUSTLERS is a true crime movie with some grit and some emotion and some style. It stars Constance Wu (ALL THE CREATURES WERE STIRRING) and Jennifer Lopez (ANACONDA) as the center of a ring of dancers (they don’t call themselves strippers, according to the source material) who started hanging out with rich guys so they could drug them and run up their credit cards. Wu’s character Destiny tells the story from seven years later, when she seems to have settled down, and is cautiously, suspiciously answering questions for a magazine writer (Julie Stiles, SAVE THE LAST DANCE).

When Destiny starts working at Moves she’s green, rubbing up on guys all day and going home with less money than that’s worth. There’s a great introduction to the place where the camera follows her and the other new girls from the back, out onto the stage to be introduced and down a ramp onto the floor where some asshole gets her attention by calling her Lucy Liu. Reminded me of one of my favorite shots in CREED, when it follows him to the ring and makes you feel like you’re there in his entourage, practically giving you stage fright. This has a similar feeling. You feel like you’re her, as much as a movie can do something like that.

Then she sees Ramona Vega (Lopez) entering the room like a pharaoh, dropping every jaw in the room, leaving the stage looking like it snowed one dollar bills. The Michael Jordan of the pole. Later, Destiny takes a rooftop smoke break at the same time as Ramona, who’s up there laid out like she’s doing a calendar shoot, and introduces herself. Destiny is in lingerie and it’s cold, so Ramona has her come curl up inside her big fur coat. I felt this was maybe a love story, but if so it always stays at or below this level of unacknowledged sexual chemistry. So they might just be friends who cuddle. (read the rest of this shit…)

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Crime, Reviews | 15 Comments »

Jason Bourne

Monday, August 15th, 2016

tn_jasonbourneJASON BOURNE opens with clips from the original Doug Liman/Paul Greengrass/Matt Damon BOURNE trilogy of 2002-2007. Those movies came to reinvent the spy thriller for a new age, even influencing the subsequent 007 movies and unfortunately inspiring an age of impressionistic action sequences. But the last time Damon played the character was almost a decade ago.

THE BOURNE ULTIMATUM doesn’t seem like very long ago to me, but think about how much has changed in our world. When it came out Obama was still a senator, Heath Ledger and Paul Walker were still alive, Margot Robbie was 17 years old, only serious fantasy nerds had ever heard of Game of Thrones, movies were projected from 35 mm prints, there was growing excitement about a comeback for 3D, and Vin Diesel had not yet returned to starring in the FAST AND FURIOUS series. Along with FASTs 4-7, action movies we’ve had in the interim include the entire IP MAN series, the entire EXPENDABLES series, THE RAID 1 and 2, JACK REACHER, the John Hyams UNIVERSAL SOLDIER movies, JOHN WICK and MAD MAX: FURY ROAD. So one could argue that the genre has changed.

And when JASON BOURNE cuts from blue-tinted, baby-faced everyman flashback Damon to the 2016 model – chiseled features, convincing grimace, gray hairs, a wider color palette – it’s a thrilling leap. He just looks so much cooler now. Having done, you know, whatever the stuff was in the other movies, Bourne is now living the way of the dragon, bare knuckle brawling for cash in Greece. That tells us he’ll probly never stop killing, because he’s clearly some kind of genius who could change his name and get all kinds of high paying jobs, and still he chooses to be a human cockfighter. I wish he lived in a Buddhist temple to complete the RAMBO III homage. (read the rest of this shit…)

Tags: , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Action, Reviews, Thriller | 49 Comments »

  • Hey bud, thanks for reading.

    Don't feel obligated, but here are some

  • WAYS YOU CAN SUPPORT THE SHIT OUT OF VERN & OUTLAWVERN.COM

    if that's your thing:

  • 1. Patreon

    Toss me a couple bucks a month, support the good shit, also get access to a bunch of exclusive writing. This is my primary source of writing money that has allowed me to cut down to part time at the day job. Thank you!

  • 2. Buy my books from your local bookseller or somebody

    click here for my Amazon author page

    (NOTE: My ten year contract has passed on the Titan books, so I don't get residuals on them like I do WORM ON A HOOK and NIKETOWN, but I would love for you to read them because I'm proud of them)

    EXTRA CREDIT: Review them on Amazon! That would really help me out. Unless you didn't like them, in which case forget I said anything.

  • 3. If you ever buy from Amazon, go through my links or search engines



    (you pay the same amount you were gonna pay anyway they cut me a little slice)

  • I also have an Amazon UK one:

    (I can't get the search box widget to work anymore, so click on MOONWALKER and then search for what you want.)

  • 4. My exciting line of fashion and leisure products

    (I get a couple bucks per item, you get a cool t-shirt, mug or lifestyle item)

  • 5. Spread the word

    Tell your friends about my reviews and my books and everything. Only cool people though please, we don't need a bunch of suckers and/or chumps around here.

    THANKS EVERYBODY. YOUR FRIEND, VERN

    * * * *

  • Recent commentary and jibber-jabber

    • VERN on Jackie Brown: “I awarded it “Best Picture – Comedy, Musical or Badass” in the 1999 Outlaw Awards, but I don’t believe I…” Oct 25, 00:10
    • Skani on Bring Her Back: “Yup, agreed!” Oct 24, 17:32
    • Inspector Hammer Boudreaux on Other: “In one of those odd coincidences where two movies in the same year have a similar concept, GOOD BOY is…” Oct 24, 10:10
    • Bill Reed on Bring Her Back: “SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS FOR REAL, SPOILERS Agreed with you on the ending, Skani. After all the pre-meditated, manipulative, and horrible…” Oct 24, 06:26
    • Skani on Bring Her Back: “SOME SPOILERS Everything I read told me that this movie was all wrong for me, but I watched it anyway,…” Oct 23, 20:04
    • M. Casey on Jackie Brown: “Yeah, this is a great one, I’ve been meaning to see it again and need to get around to it.…” Oct 23, 19:07
    • Mr. Majestyk on Other: “I thought the face thing was going to be a twist where everybody else has a disgusting monster face, indicating…” Oct 23, 15:40
    • BuzzFeedAldrin on Bring Her Back: “I did enjoy this, though not as much as Talk to the Hand mainly because I don’t enjoy characters in…” Oct 22, 08:40
    • Dreadguacamole on Bring Her Back: “There’s been other horror movies I enjoyed more this year, but put me against the wall and I’d say this…” Oct 22, 06:32
    • Skani on Black Phone 2: “Agreeing with the consensus on this one. I liked it. I though Bichir was the standout. I really like this…” Oct 21, 20:45
    • Ben C. on One Battle After Another: “I wish I was in the “movie of the year” camp on this one – there was a lot about…” Oct 21, 15:05
    • MaggieMayPie on Bring Her Back: “Bill – “What is in the water down under? (Oh, right, it’s spiders.)” startled a literal lol out of me.” Oct 21, 14:51
    • emteem on I Know What You Did Last Summer (2025): “A few random thoughts I had while reading the review of a movie I haven’t seen yet. 1. My wife…” Oct 21, 13:23
    • Bill Reed on Bring Her Back: “For me, this was the most uncomfortable horror movie since HEREDITARY. It’s not as fucked-up as that one, but it…” Oct 21, 12:53
    • Sarah Stegall on High Plains Drifter: “One explanation for the rape scene is that it’s a test of the town. Everyone knows what’s happening, and they…” Oct 21, 10:49

  • Recent Commented on Posts

  • Most Comments