a survey of summer movies that just didn’t catch on
For the momentous conclusion of the Summer Flings series, please join me on a journey down Memory Lane. Actually, just turn with me onto Memory Lane and then stop immediately, because it’s right there on the right – August 9, 2016. That’s when Paramount Pictures and MGM admitted that they had spent $100 million for Timur Bekmambetov (WANTED) to remake BEN-HUR, and that if anyone was interested it would be briefly available for public viewing.
Believe it or not I was interested, but limited showings prevented me from being able to see it in the 3D I felt would be crucial for the full ludicrousness of the director of ABRAHAM LINCOLN: VAMPIRE HUNTER‘s take on one of old Hollywood’s greatest epics, so I gave up and didn’t see it until now.
On its own merits, this BEN-HUR is fine. It’s light on the Bekmambetovian shamelessness that I was excited for, but it’s a solid enough retelling of Lew Wallace’s stirring 1880 tale of fictional Jewish elite Judah Ben-Hur, who is enslaved, freed, and returns to confront his childhood friend turned Roman Prefect Messala. (read the rest of this shit…)
A great historical epic could be made about the Tuskegee airmen, the all black squadron of American fighter pilots in WWII. That’s what George Lucas thought back in ’88 when he started developing RED TAILS. He put together a script that he compared to LAWRENCE OF ARABIA (or NED OF ARABIA to Young Indiana Jones), a three-parter about their training, then their heroic battles, and then coming home to a racist country and Jim Crow laws that don’t give a shit that they’re heroes.
Eventually he decided that was too much for one movie and, like with STAR WARS, chose the middle chapter to focus on. But he also decided that he didn’t want it to be serious grown up drama. He thought it could be a fun movie for black teenagers. It’s an approach he had trouble selling to director Anthony Hemingway (The Wire), but even more to critics, who rejected the movie wholesale, often with some shaming about the movie they thought it should’ve been. (read the rest of this shit…)
We all know the grand American tradition of the movie about the black man but in the POV of the white man. It’s the story of the civil rights struggle and the brave white FBI agent or country lawyer who stood up and made a difference, or the spunky white lady who gave the mistreated black maids of Jackson a voice, but with her name on the cover. These are well-meaning, sometimes good movies, but they’re suspect in assuming the audience can only follow if they have a white surrogate on screen. They don’t trust us to put ourselves in the shoes of black characters. If Spike Lee hadn’t made MALCOLM X I bet it would’ve been about a white dude trying to understand Malcolm X, or giving him his ideas. (read the rest of this shit…)
Before seeing SAVAGES I wanted to catch up on some of the recent Oliver Stone pictures that I’d skipped. It turns out this one is 15 years old, so you could argue that I’m a little behind on Stone. Do you guys know if JFK is any good? What about PLATOON?
This is his most straight-forward crime genre picture before SAVAGES so I figured it was a good one to check out. Based on the book Stray Dogs by John Ridley (RED TAILS, UNDERCOVER BROTHER), it’s about this dirtbag Bobby (Sean Penn), an ex-tennis player in debt whose fancy-ass car breaks down in the middle of Tiny Desert Town, Hell (actually Superior, Arizona) on his way to delivering a bunch of cash to the guy who cut off some of his fingers, and then things get way worse. But he fucks Jennifer Lopez at least. (read the rest of this shit…)
I’m starting to feel like a pushover, ’cause I’m enjoying all these poorly reviewed movies. RED TAILS is a simple pleasure – a straightforward, old-fashioned tribute to the camaraderie between the pilots and crew members of the Tuskegee Airmen, the first African-American Air Force squadron. It centers on the friendship between straight-laced, mustache-having but sometimes flask-swigging Easy (Nate Parker) and reckless, authority-bucking wannabe-ace Lightning (David Oyelowo). Easy (unlike his grandson Easy E) always wants to be professional and follow protocol, Lightning likes to disobey orders to go play chicken with a German ammunitaion train or carelessly dive on a battleship with no backup. (read the rest of this shit…)
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Recent commentary and jibber-jabber
PetrosMT on Shelter: “Sorry, forgot to say they unwisely chose the anticlimactic road 2.” Feb 16, 16:35
PetrosMT on Shelter: “Me and the girlfriend love the Stath so each of his outings is a cinema experience for us (even Expend4bles…” Feb 16, 16:33
Alderman Grundy on Shelter: “I actually felt like it was a little more generic than classical but Jason Statham has never starred in a…” Feb 16, 16:03
Simon Underwood on Shelter: “Just to toot my own casting instincts horn, back in 2022 I was developing a YA sci-fi series with a…” Feb 16, 15:45
Inspector Hammer Boudreaux on Shelter: “While a lesser down-on-their-luck action hero might work on their drinking in a gulfstream trailer, the Stath gets an entire…” Feb 16, 12:36
Borg9 on Shelter: “As ever, this review makes so much sense. And it really hurts now that I sat on this until the…” Feb 16, 08:13
RBatty024 on Heart Eyes: “In theory, this is actually a pretty fun genre mash-up. And the overall outline of this story could work brilliantly.…” Feb 16, 07:42
T-Drupe on Diablo (2025): “This was a TOTAL banger! In contrast to Peter C, I actually think the whole thing was really well written.…” Feb 15, 04:47
CJ Holden on Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday: “Honestly, after finally being able to watch it…I kinda liked it. But here is the disclaimer: I don’t really like…” Feb 14, 11:14
VERN on Queens of the Dead: “That’s interesting so-and-so, I don’t fully understand what causes you to reject it like that, but it sounds like my…” Feb 13, 22:50
Skani on Heart Eyes: “Second watch verdict is in — it’s still very good! Boys liked it a lot, too, across the board. My…” Feb 13, 17:54
Mr. Majestyk on Heart Eyes: “I was not expecting it to be dead serious with that premise. I just don’t think they got the comic…” Feb 13, 12:33
Bill Reed on Heart Eyes: “Maybe I’m a sucker for anything that has a lot of quickly-delivered dialogue, but I liked this a lot more…” Feb 13, 12:33
Skani on Heart Eyes: “Majestyk, I already had plans to watch this with my boys this evening (their first watch, my second), so, I…” Feb 13, 11:14
Dave Chappelle's Emergency Code Word on Butcher Boys: “Maybe Swift’s refried idea is what the fourth-rate Hollywood producer Barry Josephson had in mind when he told Jeffrey Epstein…” Feb 13, 09:37