SUITABLE FLESH is the latest from Joe Lynch, a director who has a certain credibility in my book because his debut was a DTV sequel. I was mixed-positive on WRONG TURN 2: DEAD END (2007) and wrote some things in the review that I now consider out of line, but I definitely respect its joyful spirit toward sequelizing and in many ways outdoing a studio movie I really wasn’t that into. Since then Lynch has directed a comedy that got taken away from him, the Salma Hayek action vehicle EVERLY, the gory outbreak-in-an-office-building movie MAYHEM (which I liked but apparently didn’t review) and the Frank Grillo/Anthony Mackie car chase buddy movie POINT BLANK. But now he’s returned to horror with a sacred task: to manifest an unfinished project of the late great Stuart Gordon.
I didn’t realize it from the name, but it’s one of those unfulfilled ambitions we read about for years – here’s an example of Gordon talking it up while promoting STUCK in 2008, but using the title of the H.P. Lovecraft story it’s based on, “The Thing on the Doorstep.” The script is by Gordon’s regular collaborator Dennis Paoli (RE-ANIMATOR, FROM BEYOND, THE PIT AND THE PENDULUM, CASTLE FREAK, DAGON) and it’s produced by RE-ANIMATOR/FROM BEYOND/CASTLE FREAK star Barbara Crampton. (read the rest of this shit…)
This year I celebrated Halloween by taking the day off of work and watching a witch-themed triple feature. This is not something I ever thought I’d do, because I’ve always had that issue with historical witch movies where it kinda bothers me to pretend there’s a such thing as witches, since that’s the superstitious bullshit that real life tyrants used as an excuse to torture and murder many innocent people in this country and elsewhere. But there were a couple witch-related movies I’d been thinking I’d like to rewatch, and at the same time I’d been thinking about my late mother, who loved to dress as a witch every Halloween. She painted her face green and glued on a warty latex nose with spirit gum. Some of the younger kids in the neighborhood were terrified of her, but she got a kick out of it. So I dedicate this witch-a-thon to her.
I chose to view them in order of when they take place: first Rob Eggers’ THE WITCH (1630s), then George A. Romero’s SEASON OF THE WITCH (1970s), and finally Robert Zombie’s THE LORDS OF SALEM (twenty-teens). (read the rest of this shit…)
I didn’t even realize THE LORDS OF SALEM was coming out this week until somebody told me. I never saw an ad or saw the trailer play before another movie. When I saw the Anchor Bay logo at the beginning I thought, “That’s weird, why is the new Rob Zombie movie being distributed by the company that only does barely-released-or-advertised horror like HATCHET or BEHIND THE MASK?” After the movie was over it kinda made more sense.
There are many things I liked about this one. Oddly enough I like that it stars Zombie’s wife, Sheri Moon Zombie. She was a major character in all his other movies, but in this one she’s the center of the whole story and often alone on screen. I like that because it’s unusual to see an adult, tattooed, dreadlocked white lady as a lead. You see ’em around but they don’t usually make movies about them. Nice to have something different sometimes. (read the rest of this shit…)
WAYS YOU CAN SUPPORT THE SHIT OUT OF VERN & OUTLAWVERN.COM
if that's your thing:
1. Patreon
Toss me a couple bucks a month, support the good shit, also get access to a bunch of exclusive writing. This is my primary source of writing money that has allowed me to cut down to part time at the day job. Thank you!
2. Buy my books from your local bookseller or somebody
(NOTE: My ten year contract has passed on the Titan books, so I don't get residuals on them like I do WORM ON A HOOK and NIKETOWN, but I would love for you to read them because I'm proud of them)
EXTRA CREDIT: Review them on Amazon! That would really help me out. Unless you didn't like them, in which case forget I said anything.
3. If you ever buy from Amazon, go through my links or search engines
(you pay the same amount you were gonna pay anyway they cut me a little slice)
I also have an Amazon UK one:
(I can't get the search box widget to work anymore, so click on MOONWALKER and then search for what you want.)
4. My exciting line of fashion and leisure products
(I get a couple bucks per item, you get a cool t-shirt, mug or lifestyle item)
5. Spread the word
Tell your friends about my reviews and my books and everything. Only cool people though please, we don't need a bunch of suckers and/or chumps around here.
THANKS EVERYBODY. YOUR FRIEND, VERN
* * * *
Recent commentary and jibber-jabber
Curt on Sing Sing: “P.S., being told that technical problems are causing us to miss out on commentary from Majestyk is an alarming development,…” Mar 18, 10:32
CJ Holden on Sing Sing: “I just don’t have a life, so I will probably stick around longer on this websight than even Vern will.…” Mar 18, 10:25
Curt on Sing Sing: “It also depends on the movie. Vern has broadened his selection of movies beyond the action, horror and blockbuster/franchise movies…” Mar 18, 09:52
Charles on Zeiram: “I still need to see this. I noticed Prime has part two streaming but not this one.” Mar 18, 09:17
Mr. Majestyk on Sing Sing: “Regarding the drop in engagement: I think it’s probably a combination of A. all of us getting older and having…” Mar 18, 07:33
Forrest Taft on Dirty Angels: “This actually was on Gene Quintano’s imdb page up until quite recently. Remember coming across it, wondering if he was…” Mar 17, 15:20
emteem on Dirty Angels: “I can’t be the only one hoping Amazon hires him to kick off the next Bond era as well.” Mar 17, 14:57
Borg9 on Sing Sing: “This was released last August in the UK and has long since passed out of public, or at least my,…” Mar 17, 11:56
Glaive Robber on Sing Sing: “Indeed, Jojo. I confronted a lot of guards who would be apologetic about their dehumanization of me and ask them,…” Mar 17, 10:01
Borg9 on Dirty Angels: “I guess Campbell being in his 80s now might make investors think twice before giving him a huge budget to…” Mar 17, 09:03
Bill Reed on The People’s Joker: “Watched this in a double feature with JOKER DEUX: AXEL FOLIE. That one was not as bad as I expected–…” Mar 17, 07:56
CJ Holden on Dirty Angels: “Just being able to randomly drop a FREDDIE AS F.R.O.7 credit in a review, makes it totally worth that you…” Mar 17, 07:53
VERN on Worm on a Hook: “Wow, thank you for doing that! I appreciate it.” Mar 17, 07:11
Dan S on Worm on a Hook: “Sent a copy of WOAH to a fun website called Paperback Warrior and he reviewed the book on his podcast.…” Mar 17, 05:19