"CATCH YOU FUCKERS AT A BAD TIME?"

gone fishin’

Just a heads up to tn_ironmanmy outlaw friends, I’m gonna be off the grid for several days, taking a break from internet for a spiritual journey, training montage, vacation, etc. So please bear with me,  it will be a bit before I watch and review the return of Shane Black and Iron Man, but I look forward to it when I get back.

I do have two reviews set to post for Monday and Tuesday, and should also have a new column on Daily Grindhouse one of those days. I could play it cool and pretend everything is normal, in case I need an alibi. “No, I couldn’t have been fighting in the Kumite, see, I posted reviews on those days.” But what if some horrible thing happens in the news and it looks like I’m insensitive for just posting reviews like everything is normal? That’s why I want you to know it’s pre-programmed. If a megasnake attacks or something don’t be offended by my just posting a review. But don’t you think if I let a megasnake stop me from posting two reviews of cult movies then the megasnake has won? fuck a megasnake.

thanks guys, have a good week and we’ll talk soon

Related posts:

  1. Vern Has Seen WILD THINGS 2!! No… Seriously…
  2. Foodfight!
  3. Mystery Train (and a visit to Memphis)
This entry was posted on Saturday, May 4th, 2013 at 2:43 am and is filed under Blog Post (short for weblog). You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.
Previous Post
« 		Next Post
»

31 Responses to “gone fishin’”

  1. Knox Harrington

    May 4th, 2013 at 3:18 am

    Enjoy your break, Vern.

    Geez, why’d you have to mention megasnake attacks. I’m not gonna sleep tonight.

  2. Pacman 2.0

    May 4th, 2013 at 3:52 am

    Darn, I thought this was gonna be a review of that 1997 Pesci/Glover non-Shane Black Joint. Yeah, I know someone else would have said the same thing soon enough, but I did

  3. CJ Holden

    May 4th, 2013 at 5:17 am

    Have fun, man!

  4. Shoot McKay

    May 4th, 2013 at 6:08 am

    Good luck with that spiritual hourney,Vern. I hope it involves cockpunching every grizzlybear in North America.

  5. CJ Holden

    May 4th, 2013 at 6:10 am

    Something tells me he is going to visit an old friend in a desert town and then has to take on the local crimelord. (I hope not to avenge his buddy’s death.)

  6. RRA

    May 4th, 2013 at 6:45 am

    I bet Vern is going to a Tennessee town but his transportation breaks down there and he’s stuck while super explodey soldiers come and try to kill him.

    Enjoy your sabbatical, Vern.

  7. clubside

    May 4th, 2013 at 7:29 am

    It’s a Midnight Run for crying out loud!

  8. Timmy

    May 4th, 2013 at 7:30 am

    Have fun Vern! When your sensei starts dropping coconuts on you from the top of the tree, remember to clinch your buttcheeks, it’ll help tighten the abs.

  9. nabroleon Dynamite

    May 4th, 2013 at 10:16 am

    “We eat fish, tossed salads and make rap ballads. The biochemical slang Lord’ll throw the arrows.” ~ Ghostface Killah.

    Get’cha fishing on Vern!

  10. RRA

    May 4th, 2013 at 11:24 am

    Wouldn’t it be hilarious if when Vern comes back, the movie he first reviews is THE GREAT GATSBY?

  11. Taj

    May 4th, 2013 at 12:14 pm

    Many fish bite if you got good bait, here’s a little tip I would like to relate

  12. Tawdry Hepburn

    May 4th, 2013 at 12:21 pm

    It wasn’t a mega snake… It was an ordinary sized spider.

  13. Shawn Gordon

    May 4th, 2013 at 5:12 pm

    I was just in the Kumite and I didn’t see you there.

  14. Franchise Fred

    May 4th, 2013 at 11:58 pm

    Was really hoping this was a review of the Joe Pesci/Danny Glover classic. A man can dream…

  15. psychic_hits

    May 5th, 2013 at 4:36 am

    Vern will be returning with a request to be addressed as “Out-Lion Vern” and a new, mellower reviewing style liberally infused with a rasta patois. Berries and their nutritive properties will also be mentioned frequently.

  16. Knox Harrington

    May 5th, 2013 at 7:06 am

    This “Out-Lion Vern” phase is obviously just a desperate attempt at staying relevant. Typical Vern. Always chasing after that easy money. What a has-been.

  17. The original Paul

    May 5th, 2013 at 2:38 pm

    “Fuck a megasnake.”

    …No?!

  18. Tawdry Hepburn

    May 5th, 2013 at 6:32 pm

    Out-lion Vern gets my ” best thing I’ve seen recently” medal.

  19. Tawdry Hepburn

    May 5th, 2013 at 6:34 pm

    Hey guys, when vern gets back, can we all call him out-lion Vern?

  20. Knox Harrington

    May 6th, 2013 at 3:42 am

    What, you never fucked a megasnake before, Paul?

    Shit, man, get with the times. It’s 2013 already.

  21. CJ Holden

    May 6th, 2013 at 3:47 am

    (Obvious joke about “Megasnake” being my penis’ nickname.)

  22. Briantasm

    May 6th, 2013 at 6:51 am

    Vern is going back to his hometown, which, he will discover, has been taken over by a ruthless Chinese gang deeply involved in drugs and racketeering. An old friend of his is thoughtlessly murdered in a convienence store. It will be up to Vern to avenge his death and battle his way to the top of the chain, alongside a Chinese “good guy” highly skilled in martial arts he’s partnered with.

  23. Knox Harrington

    May 6th, 2013 at 9:22 am

    I call mine John Rambo.

    But I already did that long before it was the popular thing to do.

  24. ANoniMouse

    May 6th, 2013 at 11:02 pm

    *sigh* I miss Vern.

  25. Mr. Majestyk

    May 9th, 2013 at 9:53 am

    The new Daily Grindhouse column is up, and it’s a doozy: http://dailygrindhouse.com/thewire/outlaw-vern-presents-tape-trek-formerly-americas-got-punching/

    I guess we weren’t alerted because Vern is busy infiltrating the Yakuza at the moment.

  26. Mouth

    May 9th, 2013 at 12:04 pm

    Vern really does go on a wacky trek with those tapes, with a titularical VHS switcheroo that would surely frustrate any other seeker of unknown artifacts of BADASS CINEMA.

    Tells the cabbie to take him to JFK, ends up at La Guardia, and still the man makes the best of it. What a professional.

    I think that mention of “John Holmes level dialogue and acting” is gonna scare me away from immediately following Vern’s footsteps on this particular leg of Punch-Quest Journey to Battle Island Tape Trek, though.

    NIGHT OF THE WARRIOR (1991) is a real gem mined from the murky waters of DailyGrindhousedotcom, though; y’all should check it out.

  27. Mr. Majestyk

    May 9th, 2013 at 12:12 pm

    He emailed me during that debacle to see if I had the movie he was actually looking for. I’m ashamed to say that I came up empty-handed. I had a chance to make a difference and I failed.

    Now I need to see FISTS OF STEEL, if just for the Henry Silva costume stuff. But how do you purposely track down something made to be discovered by accident? It’s like a mythical island that you can only find after you get well and truly lost.

  28. Mouth

    May 9th, 2013 at 12:59 pm

    I’m ashamed to say that I’ve never before had the idea of enhancing my pugilist career prospects by undergoing steel implant surgery to embiggen, strengthen, and partly replace my pathetically cartilaginous fists.

    Seems like a clever way to cheat & bypass the fight regulators, since they starting weighing gloves for possible mercury injections.

  29. Shoot McKay

    May 9th, 2013 at 1:06 pm

    NIGHT OF THE WARRIOR is available to watch on Youtube (with russian subtitles):

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WqBum5bQRX8

  30. E-Man

    May 15th, 2013 at 9:09 pm

    What’s with the picture of Ghostface Killah?

  31. Vern

    May 15th, 2013 at 9:18 pm

    I don’t know, I think maybe I was connecting “gone fishin'” with the album Fishscale, but I went through such a purification and rebirth in my time off that I can only speculate at this point.

Leave a Reply





XHTML: You can use: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>

  • Hey bud, thanks for reading.

    Don't feel obligated, but here are some

  • WAYS YOU CAN SUPPORT THE SHIT OUT OF VERN & OUTLAWVERN.COM

    if that's your thing:

  • 1. Patreon

    Toss me a couple bucks a month, support the good shit, also get access to a bunch of exclusive writing. This is my primary source of writing money that has allowed me to cut down to part time at the day job. Thank you!

  • 2. Buy my books from your local bookseller or somebody

    click here for my Amazon author page

    (NOTE: My ten year contract has passed on the Titan books, so I don't get residuals on them like I do WORM ON A HOOK and NIKETOWN, but I would love for you to read them because I'm proud of them)

    EXTRA CREDIT: Review them on Amazon! That would really help me out. Unless you didn't like them, in which case forget I said anything.

  • 3. If you ever buy from Amazon, go through my links or search engines



    (you pay the same amount you were gonna pay anyway they cut me a little slice)

  • I also have an Amazon UK one:

    (I can't get the search box widget to work anymore, so click on MOONWALKER and then search for what you want.)

  • 4. My exciting line of fashion and leisure products

    (I get a couple bucks per item, you get a cool t-shirt, mug or lifestyle item)

  • 5. Spread the word

    Tell your friends about my reviews and my books and everything. Only cool people though please, we don't need a bunch of suckers and/or chumps around here.

    THANKS EVERYBODY. YOUR FRIEND, VERN

    * * * *

  • Recent commentary and jibber-jabber

    • Glaive Robber on Man, I don’t know.: “I think what bothers a lot of us is that we had chance after chance after chance after chance to…” Nov 6, 18:35
    • Dreadguacamole on Man, I don’t know.: “I grew up in… let’s call them shithole countries, so I can say this with confidence: Trump? He’s your typical…” Nov 6, 18:00
    • VERN on Man, I don’t know.: “FYI: This is my home, I’m not inviting fascists in for chit-chat, so I have deleted some posts. (P.S. the…” Nov 6, 17:31
    • Crudnasty on Man, I don’t know.: “Creative writing is going to hit new heights of absurdity as evidenced in the comment above by this AI level…” Nov 6, 16:54
    • Glaive Robber on Man, I don’t know.: “What’s staggering is largely the demographics. 69% of white women voted for Trump? That many white women went for this…” Nov 6, 16:45
    • renfield on Man, I don’t know.: “In case it wasn’t clear I meant Dem leadership, not the voting citizenry.” Nov 6, 16:26
    • deepfriednoir on Man, I don’t know.: “These words from James Baldwin have been rattling around my head every few days for the last year. “Love has…” Nov 6, 16:12
    • jojo on Man, I don’t know.: “Whoever runs on a ‘banning smartphones’ platform will get my vote (so I’ll stop trying to type on them)” Nov 6, 16:09
    • Crudnasty on Man, I don’t know.: “One trivial but topical (to the websight purpose anyway) thing that struck me, amidst all this is- how does someone…” Nov 6, 16:02
    • jojo on Man, I don’t know.: “[i]My fear, among many, is that the Dems are just truly incapable of adjusting their strategy. They are far more…” Nov 6, 15:52
    • jojo on Man, I don’t know.: “Sorry, it was just a little strange to go from “Well, can’t say we didn’t see this coming…” all day…” Nov 6, 15:40
    • renfield on Man, I don’t know.: “My fear, among many, is that the Dems are just truly incapable of adjusting their strategy. They are far more…” Nov 6, 15:31
    • Mr. Subtlety on Man, I don’t know.: “Jojo — the real crushing blow is not just to find out we lost — it was always a knife’s…” Nov 6, 15:22
    • jojo on Man, I don’t know.: “Once again I’m forced to face the fact that America hates women so much they would rather elect a lying,…” Nov 6, 15:13
    • Peter Campbell on Man, I don’t know.: “Over in the UK we’re shocked too. We got rid of the conservatives after 14 years of truly insane hell…” Nov 6, 14:37

  • Recent Commented on Posts

  • Most Comments