"I'll just get my gear."

Steven Seagal: Lawman premieres tonight

tn_lawmanSeagal’s new reality cop show begins on A&E tonight. I haven’t seen it yet. I’ll have my analysis for you when it’s ready – these things take time. But feel free to discuss the episode here.

(And man, I have no idea how I’m gonna handle this if I update Seagalogy some day. Complete episode guide might turn it into a phone book.)

This entry was posted on Wednesday, December 2nd, 2009 at 1:46 pm and is filed under Blog Post (short for weblog), Seagal. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

40 Responses to “Steven Seagal: Lawman premieres tonight”

  1. Just like the man in On Deadly Ground need time, so does Vern, guys.

  2. I would think it would be obvious how you should handle this.

    SEAGALOGY: PORT OF CALL NEW ORLEANS

  3. Just have a television section in the next Seagalogy(throw in yesterday’s appearance on The View)

    4 hours and counting.

  4. I never watch reality-tv ( is Lawman considered reality-tv? In the Big Brother sense of the word?) or tv series , but I’ve seen a trailer for this and I have to admit , it looks interesting . I may never have the opportunity to actually watch it , but Seagal sure looks professional in that trailer . Not only that , but he seems well integrated in his unit , not just a celebrity guest .

  5. Vern, between this series and his continuing DTV output, you’re probably going to have to make SEAGALOGY 2: DARK TERRITORY. My only worry with this series is that it’s going to inspire a Chuck-Norris-like ironic revival of Seagal’s career. I have a hunch that Seagal would go along with that ironic, self-deprecating bullshit if they offered him enough money. I’d be lying if I said that my enjoyment of Seagal’s films always comes from a place the filmmakers intended, but it’s all tempered by a respect for the man sticking to his weird beliefs and making some genuinely badass cinema (I watched OUT FOR JUSTICE the other day; still awesome). I don’t want to see him on CELEBRITY BIG BROTHER or for the internet to ruin him like it has zombies and pirates.

  6. As I wrote in that thread when this previewd on the Net…

    Imagine you get busted for DUI or speedin ‘n’ weedin, and its Seagal or arrests you.

    Is that good or bad day?

  7. I’m probably the last person on earth to find out about this, but I read on Cinematical that Seagal has his own energy drink. Anyone here ever try it? If so, did it enhance your ability to kick ass?

    CallMeKermit: Cinematical ran a story stating that Seagal has been doing this gig with the cops for years, so his professionalism, if the story is true, might be due to how long he’s been working at it.

  8. Steven Seagal just called the projects the “jects”.

  9. Jareth Cutestory –

    Vern reviewed Seagal’s Energy Drinks right here on this site (well his original site, but it’s on here somewhere).

  10. Couple of notes so far:

    Pretty sure that Fortunato, the cop Seagal was patrolling with at the beginning is just like the public liaision now, desk job kinda thing, definitely wouldn’t be on patrol.

    Also, I just saw my cousin, who is a JP officer, listening to Seagal in the scene where Seagal is explaining that the zen master doesn’t pull the arrow, he pushes it, so I called him and he was telling me that Seagal was just completely obnoxious and full of shit

    This is awesome

  11. Thanks, em_tee_em. Much appreciated.

  12. Josh S – More details, more!

    Still, shooting that matchhead off was kinda cool.

  13. What? Seagal was awesome. He was a master shooter and quick as hell in the training room.
    Plus they let those guys with the Goldshlager and gun just walk. Gotta like that.
    I really liked the Seagal “awareness” mode. He was like the terminator patroling “the jecs”, and time slowed down when he was eyeballing people like a video game, kick ass.
    I gotta say Seagal seems like he’s in his element when he’s teaching. He really comes across as calm and zen-like. I guess there’s a reason he was the first white man to operate a dojo in Japan.

  14. Jareth Cutestory : Yeah , I know that he started working with the police a couple of years ago , but I figured it was just a consulting job . Instead in the trailer and clips I’ve seen online , he seems like a part of the unit , really integrated , and that’s awesome .

  15. Jareth, a student of mine brought in one of Steven Seagal’s energy drinks one time and it taste like molasses to me. No shit, molasses.

  16. David Lambert – was it Cherry Charge or the Asian Experience? Or – dare I hope – the mythic Root Beer Rush?

    I’m not watching LAWMAN, but I’m going to venture a prediction: it’s boring. This is based solely on watching the trailer and thinking, “This is the most exciting stuff they had to show? Nothing happens.” But who knows, maybe they were saving the good stuff for the show. Let me know if I’m wrong. I hope for all y’all’s sake I am. Good luck.

  17. “EVERYBODY GOIN’ FO A RIDE”

  18. Damn he got FAT! Got a constant stream of sweat pouring down his bloated face.
    I’d love to see him have to get in to a foot pursuit. The fat bastard would probably have a heart attack.
    I guess Aikido doesn’t teach discipline at the dinner table.

  19. Just a little water retention

  20. caruso_stalker217

    December 3rd, 2009 at 12:10 am

    I really enjoyed the “Seagal-vision” or “Seagal-sense” portion of the program. This show would make a great drinking game. Like every time he says “For most of my life I’ve practiced the martial arts” you take a shot.

  21. awesomeness, pure awesomeness, I love it , makes for surreal viewing when paired with Dog

    caurso, love the drinking game idea

  22. I was coming here to propose exactly the drinking game mentioned by caruso_stalker217. Did you know Seagal’s a lifelong practitioner of the martial arts?

  23. The Seagal “awareness” mode –
    that’s like “Unagi”, right? State of total awareness, when you can feel… DANGER!!!

  24. I really liked the part where Seagal was teaching the cops what they referred to as “Some kind of pretzel manouver”. I love learning those official technical terms! In fact, the teaching segments are my favorite part of the show. I hope he’s also going to teach them how to wrap a cue ball in a bar towel and smack somebody upside the head with a sausage.

  25. I believe it was Asian Experience. Anyone else tried this stuff? I know Vern did from his book, but I don’t remember him mentioning a molasses-like flavor.

  26. The Seagal Vision thing was odd. Odd, yet beautiful.

    I was kinda hoping the opening credits would have been the opening of Out For Justice but oh well. I preferred the “training” sequences to the actual driving around stuff, which was kind of anti-climactic.

    And HOLY FUCK, was it really necessary to tase that guy in the first episode? He’s on the ground with six guys on him.

  27. You can watch the episode online here:

    http://www.ninjavideo.net/cat/2128

    For anyone not in the US like myself who wants to watch it. Not sure of Vern’s policy on posting links to TV streaming sites. Feel free to delete my post if i’m out of line.

  28. How about some folks stop talking about the energy drink and use their energy to watch and discuss Steven Seagal: Lawman.

  29. Dear People of Jefferson Parrish – don’t backtalk the police, they will tase you and accuse you of not being a very good zen master.

    This makes me want to tase a zen master, just for science.

  30. Actually, I really dig Seagal’s sense of justice that comes through in this. Everybody starts tasing that guy, and he runs in and tells everyone to cool it and take it easy. He seems very professional, he even lets those kids with the gun and liquor bottle go at the end.

  31. GoodBadGroovy : Thanks for the link , I can now say that I’ve seen Steven Seagal: Lawman ( even if it’s just one episode ). I’m really surprised that Seagal was still able to put all of his martial arts and zen background in this TV show . You can say what you want about the man , but he always puts this spin on all of his projects , this is his personal touch .I mean , he calls a guy a “not very good zen practitioner” or something like that , and I’ve never heard a cop say that. I hope , in future episodes , for a little talk about environmental awareness . He also looks very quick , for a man his size , during the training sequences. On a less serious note , the show can also be called Fat Unit , I mean , all the cops in the episode are a little overweight . You know , just like in the real world. But I had fun watching it , and that’s all I can ask.

  32. bullet3: I think you might have just provided a new movie title: Steven Seagal is SENSE OF JUSTICE.

    Or maybe they’ll use it for his line of fragrances for men: Steven Seagal’s SCENTS OF JUSTICE.

  33. Okay, slight tangent, but in the same category of washed up 80s-90s action stars. Has anyone seen the trailer for this new Universal Soldier flick yet? Cinematography looks decent, but looks like Dolph and JCVD are mostly in the background, while this uncharismatic Belarusian (sp?) dude is the main event. Plus, seems like they shot the whole thing at this one warehouse, whereas part 1 had some real sense of broad scope (budget, I know…but still kind of depressing). Meanwhile, I’m thinking, if JCVD will do this thing, why is it that he is too good/full of artistic integrity to do the Expendables? Also, did anyone else see that rough Expendables trailer? It looked really corny, not just the production values but the…everything? I’m hoping that it will all come together, but was very discouraged by that trailer. Okay. I’m done.

  34. I really dig Steven Seagal: Lawman. Our main man doesn’t look phony or full of shit and the fact that he’s been doing that for twenty years really shows he’s really dedicated to this. Yes the guy is getting fat but the tremendous amount of respect he got from his colleagues and even the criminals really came throught. It might be TV bullshit but I chose to believe it.

    It’s still a reality cop show so not much is happening. Nonetheless, every 2 seconds there’s a cop saying “every day your life’s on the line… you never know when a gun will be use against you…” and stuff like that.

    Sorry about the mistake, english is my second language.

  35. Just checked out the first two episodes online last night. I found it to be like a much more interesting and enjoyable version of COPS. Gotta love “Seagal-Vision” as well. Pretty hilarious. My girlfriend loved it too. I’m totally down for checking out more of this stuff. Seagal comes across as a surprisingly endearing character. Definitely much more than in his most recent movies.

  36. The intro where Seagal tells you he’s been a cop for the last 20 years, like he’s actually been doing “lawman” shit every weekend all that time instead of some cops gave him an “honorary cop” certificate one time back when he was famous – at first I was like “gimme a break” and then I realised Seagal’s delivery was just like when a grandad tells his grandkids some tall tale about himself… like he knows it’s BS but he’s having a little fun with it.

    I also like that they found that one doofus desk jockey cop for Seagal to patronise, and the real cops who are actually doing dangerous work for shitty pay get mostly treated with respect

  37. Hey Vern, you know, I was thinking about this show (haven’t seen it yet) and it suddenly dawned on me that for almost all of Seagalogy, you focus on Seagal the artist. You shy away from any but the most pertinent biographical data, and mostly seem to avoid discussing interviews and such. Is there any part of you, then, that would rather NOT get to know Seagal apart from his art? I mean, sure, reality TV is scipted and edited to the hilt, but I was wondering if Seagal the person isn’t necessarily the Seagal you’re interested in — or, if you think this turn of his career will be more illuminating than alienating. Just curious how this change in the dynamic of your study feels to you, I guess.

  38. Mr. Subtlety – I think there’s some truth to that, because when I hear people telling stories about Seagal supposedly being an asshole I kind of wish I didn’t hear them. Except when they’re really funny stories. But no, for the most part it was a deliberate choice to focus on the movies in Seagalogy because I don’t feel qualified to research a biography. I do feel qualified to analyze a bunch of movies. I would absolutely love it if somebody wrote a really good biography of Seagal some day, but I wouldn’t be the guy to do it.

    So yeah, it’s kind of weird to realize we’re gonna be watching a full season (at least) of unscripted Seagal, but it’s also really interesting to see how it overlaps with his movies. So overall I’m very excited about it.

  39. I just learned that LAWMAN is skipping German TV (unless I missed some pay TV airings) and goes STRAIGHT TO DVD this week! The full first season. I didn’t expect this.

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