"CATCH YOU FUCKERS AT A BAD TIME?"

NINJA trailer

In case anybody missed the link Jake generously provided in the Summer Movies comments, here’s the trailer for the upcoming movie NINJA, which is in my opinion about a ninja.

NINJA marks an exciting moment in DTV history for me, because Isaac “UNDISPUTED 2” Florentine and Scott “Weapon XI” Adkins are a director/star team with a body of work good enough that I’m honestly looking forward to this as much as I would a theatrical film. I’m also happy to hear the return of cheesy action movie trailer narration, especially when it’s talking about the deadly ancient traditions of the ninja.

That’s the other thing – this is part of an upcoming glut and/or renaissance of ninja films. It’s in competition with the McTeigue/Wachowski joint NINJA ASSASSIN for top of the heap, but there’s also another DTV one called THE LAST NINJA and a recent made-for-cable called MASK OF THE NINJA. I didn’t finish that one though and was disappointed that Casper Van Dien played the cop and not the ninja. There was an okay part where his undercover role in a drug bust was as guitarist in a bar band, but he didn’t even use the guitar as a weapon or do an awesome solo.

This entry was posted on Saturday, May 9th, 2009 at 10:43 am and is filed under News. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.

27 Responses to “NINJA trailer”

  1. Looks cool, but wouldn’t it be nice to have a totally Japanese-centric modern ninja movie for once? Japanese star, Japanese locale, Japanese villains.

  2. Here you will find information , story and teaser trailer for The Last Ninja :

    http://www.masterpieceprod.com

    http://www.myspace.com/thelastninjamovie

    I think it will be released in 2010.

  3. This looks incredibly awesome. I could almost see it getting a theatrical release if it was marketed right. I mean this looks a couple 1000 times better than legend of chun li, or that dragonball movie, or a lot of things. Between this and Dolph’s Command Performance, this looks to be an awesome year for DTV.

  4. Re: Command Performance… Did you guys hear how some fuckers pulled a home invasion on Dolph’s wife while he was off shooting The Expendables, but when they realized whose house they’d broken into they immediately ran away like little girls? Dolph is the hardest man alive: He scared off a gang of thugs when he wasn’t even in the fucking country. Now I want a documentary where he hunts these cocksuckers down one by one. It’ll be called REVENGE IS SWEDE.

  5. Stu , there’s a 2001 ninja movie called “Red Shadow: Akakage” with Japanese actors , setting and villains.It’s not bad , but with weird Japanese comedy , modern music , stylized-blue-tinted scenes like in Sin City and the ninja suits are full of leather and metal.Lots of stunts and ninja gadjets , but like I said , it’s a little weird and light hearted , maybe because is a remake of an old tv show.

  6. I’m hoping the Last Ninja is based on the 1980’s Commodore 64 game, I’m also hoping the story strays away from the original 8bit computer game narrative, just so I can make claims about my childhood being raped.

  7. I want to see both NINJA and NINJA ASSASSIN. But with regards to Ninja, and for my sake, I hope all that japanese training and stuff seen in the trailer is kept to a minimum. That kind of stuff puts me to sleep. I just want to see a ninja running wild and chopping people up.

  8. Stu, did you mean modern as in “made recently” or as in “takes place in modern times?” Because SHINOBI (2005) was made pretty recently. In 2005, if I am not mistaken. I haven’t seen it yet, but it appears to be packed head to toe with Japanese stars, villains and locales.

    Man, I really do hope this is the beginning of a ninja renaissance, like the zombie renaissance we’ve had over the last several years. ‘Cause if they keep cranking out ninja and zombie movies eventually someone is going to have the bright idea of making a ninja zombie movie. And I will watch the hell out of it.

  9. There IS a ninja vs zombie movie , called , wait for it…….
    Zombie vs. Ninja , but i cannot find it anywhere and every information I’ve found seems to indicate that is really bad.Obviously , I’m interested in this little movie and in discovering just how bad it is , but I’m not a big fan ninja-mixed-something……remember what happened the last time they mixed ninja with kids? Or ninja with fucking t@#$les?

    (I’m not going to write the two words together.)

  10. I have Zombie vs. Ninja and Full Metal Ninja on VHS. Unfortunately my VCR took a crap before I could watch it. I should pick one up.

    As for recent ninja movies you got Death Note, Versus (I think you can count it as a ninja movie. If not, it’s still a cool movie) The Machine Girl, TMNT,

  11. Feel free to skip Ninja Cheerleaders though. The fights are as stupid as the movie itself. The only redeeming value of that movie is Michael Pare’.

    I’ve also heard about someone making a Ninja 4: Return of The Ninja with Sho Kosugi, but that was a while ago so I don’t know if that’s still happening. Probably not since it’s too awesome of an idea.

  12. CallMeKermiT: Thanks. I actually don’t mind the idea of a ninja with armour. There’s a ninja in the movie Azumi, played by the villain from Versus. He’s got armour, and still comes off pretty Ninjaly. Of course, he acts more as a spy and messenger in the movie than a warrior, but he was still a pretty cool character.
    Jake: I guess I meant both. It’d be pretty cool to see a Ninja roof-jumping in modern Tokyo as well as fighting in the forests and mountains.

  13. Sorry to doublepost, but I forgot to say I’d love a “Ninjas vs. Nazis” movie. The basic plot would be that during WW2, a Ninja clan is hired by the allies to infiltrate an Axis Supersoldier or Doomsday Weapon project and sabotage it. I figure a Ninja’s mercenary nature would preclude any national loyalty, or there could be some other motivation for it (e.g. they have american-emigrated relatives being held in an interment camp, and their mission earns their release).

  14. Stu, fuck the family/personal shit. Just make them all-out mercs.

  15. CallMeKermiT: Yeah, I was half-joking since it’s pretty rare that movies with cool/ridiculous premises like zombies fighting ninjas would actually turn out to be great. Though I do think it would be possible. I would definitely check out Stu’s Ninjas Vs. Nazis movie. And thanks for the heads up about ZOMBIE VS. NINJA. I just checked out Godfrey Ho’s IMDB page and he has got to have the single best filmography title-wise that I have ever seen. ROBO-KICKBOXER – POWER OF JUSTICE, THUNDER NINJA KIDS: WONDERFUL MISSION, INFERNO THUNDERBOLT. It’s seems like 50% have the word ninja in the title. Even if these movies aren’t good I’d be pretty proud to direct people to my IMDB page if I were Godfrey Ho.

    hamslime: Are you referring to the DEATH NOTE with the notebook that makes people die? ‘Cause I just watched the TV series and there weren’t any ninjas in that.

  16. Stu:I’ve seen both Azumi and Versus ( in fact I LOVE Kitamura , Final Wars is a Godzilla fan dream come true , and he has a project in development called RASHOMON 2010…..say it out loud “RASHOMON 2010”!!) but it’s been a while , are you referring to the AZUMI character that makes dog sounds when hit? Also I like armored ninjas too , but Red Shadow is just all around weird that for some people it’s too much, and , please , WRITE the ninja vs nazi movie , but with a multicultural ninja mercenary outfit , a sort of Inglorious Shinobi Basterdz.Or better , Inglorious Shinobi Expendables Basterdz , whit all the golden age actors: Kosugi , Dudikoff , Nero and Yamashita.

    Jake:ROBO-KICKBOXER.It is now my personal mission to track this movie down! See , this is a mix made in heaven , I was only talking about the NINJA crossover movies and my fear of something like Ninja Kids happening again!

  17. STU: That is a great idea for a movie, and I don’t mean that sarcastically. But I would like to request that the teaser or opening credits have an animation of a swastika that explodes when it gets hit by a ninja star.

  18. … or a ninja star that cross-fades into a spinning swastika. Or the other way around, I’m not picky.

  19. Jake – Whoops! I meant Death Trance. It was done by the guy who did Versus and Aragami. I haven’t seen or read anything associated with Death Note but my friend keeps talking it up, that’s probably why I had a brain fart.

  20. The Japanese were allies to the Germans during WWII weren’t they? (I suck at history)
    You could have a Jewish guy who’s trained in the black art of ninjitsu before WWII starts and has to spend some time (years) in the mountains as a final test.

    When he comes down from the mountain WWII is already underway, and he gets enlisted in a special forces unit in the Japanese military. Shit happens and he ends up in Germany to find out he’s on the side that’s killing his own people and goes AWOL killing Nazis.

    Ninja enduced blood-bath ensues.

    You’ll also have to end it with him seppukuing himself since he basically dishonored himself by unintentionally siding with the Nazis at first. It’ll have to be a quiet honor type ending like Redbelt where there’s no dialog, you just know that shit got too deep for words.

    “He aided in the death of his own people, Now he’ll aid in the death… of THEM!”

  21. CallMeKermiT: I mean the guy who appears at 4:50 here:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kq4WWFesYbA
    and 9:20 here:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=chuUZSMqqSo
    Though turns out he had less armour than I remembered.

    Those are all good ideas for the title sequence, but you could also do something based on the fact the Nazi Swastika is taken from the swastika used in eastern religions such as Buddhism (which Miho based her throwing stars on in Sin City), and have the Nazi flag fade into an image of a Swastika embedded in a SS Stormtroopers head…before it gets chopped off.
    Or you could just do the Rocky IV intro with a red boxing glove with the nazi flag on it and a black ninja gauntlet punching each other and exploding.
    Other stuff:
    -a scene in the third act where the Nazis find out there’s ninjas on their base, so the Commandant gives a big speech to rally them to the cause of eradicating the spies, culminating in a unified “Heil Hitler!”, and as all the soldiers do the nazi salute, the ninjas run in from the side, down a couple of rows, cutting the outstretched arms off.
    -a hot geisha who’s really a Ninja assassin. That’s one of your basic rules of this sort of thing, no?
    -a sub-plot about one of the Japanese Army Officers being the great-great-great-grandson of a Samurai who killed one of the Ninjas’s great-great-great-grandfather, and cos he happened to have the same sword that was used for that and train in it, we get a bonus Ninja vs. Samurai duel, possibly ending with the Ninja getting the upperhand, but a Nazi shoots him before he can get the killing blow, causing the Samurai to go “YOU HAVE NO HONOUR!!” and side with the Ninjas for the rest of the film.

  22. hamslime: Seppuku only applies to samurai (and Yakuza, oddly). So unless he was Jewfro Samurai, that wouldn’t happen.

  23. You forgot about the Ninja Seppuku Loophole which states:

    “Ninja don’t do seppuku under any circumstances…unless it’s in the script.”

    Also if you go on realultimatepower.net (not that it’s necessarily the authority on ninja, but still…) there’s a section about seppuku with a frisbee.

  24. Wow , this is turning into a community-script , everybody has suggestions for Ninjas vs Nazis : Stu ,you have a goldmine here!

    Here’s my suggestion : the jewish ninja mercenary ( played by Liam Neeson ,codename: Schindler’s Miyamoto) , is infiltrating in the nazi castle , at night , dressed in full SS uniform but with ninja mask and katana.He fakes the nazi-salute and throws a ninja star at one of the sentries! Cut to hitler saying :”Achtung , Shinobi!”!!

    Also , during the mission briefing or the teaser trailer : an animation of a swastika star against a Jewish Star , like the boxing gloves in Rocky IV , but with the Jewish Star shattering the other!

  25. You should call the movie SwastiKILL.

    Another idea would be to call it Seek Hell. Sounds like zieg heil. Get it! No? Okay, just brainstorming.

  26. Stu : Instead , I was talking about the ninja in the second clip you posted , the one with the face protection called Saru. He keeps making dogs sounds when hurt throughout the movie!

    Wow , that white samurai sure is annoying!

  27. Probably old news to most, but this here is Norwegian Ninja, based on a true story about ninjas in Norway.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4wNVjI9bJIk

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