First off I would like to thank the two (2) of you who complimented me on my column last week, an autobiographical work which I have been working on for months as a piece of my memoirs but decided to post in my column. Of course I am not abandoning my home, the world of film Writing, however this is an example of the works I hope to pour my blood sweat and etc. into in the coming months and years. This is very important to me and yes there were two of you who mentioned this to me, this important new step in my life, and I do mean that literally. As in, one more than one, but two less then four, if my calculations are correct. thanks alot guys.
Second off there is the whole fourth of july deal. Not one of my favorite holidays actually, but what are you gonna do. The first thing I think of when I think of the fourth of July is Benji, the dog I had in the ’80s. Not one of your better dogs, he was only a cockapoodle, but the little guy was loyal, his breath was above average and his house breaking was above reproach. Except on the 4th of July. This motherfucker didn’t know what fireworks were, and no matter how many years he lived he just couldn’t remember “Oh yeah, that’s right, I remember that last year.” no, he runs all over the house peeing and shitting on the carpet like a god damned invalid. (except running.) I mean, at a certain point you just get embarrassed for a dog he keeps doing stupid shit like this.
About ‘86-’87, somewhere around there, I started giving him tranquilizers to calm him down, and it worked. But the fucker got addicted. He starts expecting them earlier one year, like July 1st or 2nd. Then he’s crying for them on New Year’s. “Whine whine whine,” and the translation is, “All these poppers and screaming are scaring me, I’ma start shitting if you don’t think of something quick, you know what I’m saying?” Okay Benji has a point there but when it comes to Valentine’s Day, birthdays etc. he was just stretching it. By the time I went down poor mutt was a total tranq fiend. I never seen a dog that desperate before or since. Benji stayed with my cousin while I was locked up and supposedly he ran away, although I have my doubts. You never know what a junkie pooch like that is gonna do when you turn your back, I wouldn’t blame my cousin if he gave him away to be perfectly honest. Sad though. (more…)
released July 27, 2001
