I don’t know why I never got around to seeing the THE CROW sequel from the director of SIX-STRING SAMURAI. Always was curious. Still took me 19 years. Lance Mungia’s THE CROW: WICKED PRAYER, just like the previous one, was meant for theaters, but I think it only played somewhere around here? Wiki(dprayer)pedia says its theatrical run was only in Seattle and only for one week, and I do remember seeing an ad for it and being confused, but I was thinking it was in Eastern Washington. Anyway, I didn’t go.
When I saw DOMINO on opening day in 2005, I really thought it was the worst shit ever. In fact, at some point I earnestly added a “the worst shit ever” tag to my review of it. Tony Scott’s most chaotic ever visual style and editing just scraped against me and took me out of the story (to the extent that there was one), and I fixated on that and raged against it in my review. This had happened to me only a couple of times before: first with CON AIR, then ARMAGEDDON, and later it would happen with TRANSFORMERS and DOOMSDAY. But DOMINO is the most stylistically aggressive of any of those, and arguably the most pretentious.
In my review I said Scott was trying to seem young and edgy, compared it to getting his ear pierced. In my mind at that time he was the guy who directed TOP GUN, and TOP GUN was a movie for jocks, military lovers and top 40 listeners. When that one came out I didn’t notice that its style was revolutionary, I just knew everybody loved it including my entire sixth grade class, which meant it was the height of mainstream popular culture about a year or two before I would start kneejerk rebelling against such things. So to have the TOP GUN guy, almost 20 years later, trying to do what screenwriter Richard Kelly calls on the commentary track “punk rock,” was just a joke to me. (read the rest of this shit…)
“He had an uneventful childhood. He played baseball with the other kids on the block, became fascinated with the antics of what later became his heroes – The Three Stooges, read Spiderman comic books, thought Jerry Lewis was hilarious and the Little Rascals even more so. What influenced Raimi to become the ‘horror meister’ of slash and gore films is not found in his past.”
—Dead Auteur: How a 20-year-old ex-college student carved out his horror niche in Hollywood by Sue Uram, Cinefantastique, August 1992
Immediately following Raimi’s very serious director period, his career changed drastically again. After so many stabs at the mainstream, he finally made the leap to genuine blockbuster filmmaking, bringing one of the most famous characters in the history of American pop culture to the big screen for the first time. This is not the use-Intro-Vision-to-stretch-the-budget-enough-to-try-to-compete-in-summer of DARKMAN and ARMY OF DARKNESS, or the work-with-huge-stars-but-scare-off-boring-people-by-doing-something-different-with-them of THE QUICK AND THE DEAD. I’m talking a super hero event movie with ten times the budget of DARKMAN, working with Sony Digital Imageworks to pioneer effects techniques that nobody was even sure would be possible, and finally sharing his talents with pretty much the widest audience possible for a movie. (read the rest of this shit…)
THE PAPERBOY is the new one from Academy Award nominee for Best Director Lee Daniels. That’s the guy that did PRECIOUS, BASED ON THE NOVEL PUSH BY SAPPHIRE as well as SHADOWBOXER, BASED ON THE IDEA THAT HELEN MIRREN AND CUBA GOODING JR. ARE ASSASSINS AND SHE RAISED HIM BUT ALSO THEY’RE FUCKING AND SHE HAS CANCER. I feel like the critical community embraced PRECIOUS without really picking up on how nutty it was, or doing a background check on Mr. Daniels’s previous work. So they did cartoony “wh-wh-whUHHH?” double-takes when THE PAPERBOY played at Cannes and had a part where Nicole Kidman territorially pisses on Zac Efron from HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL. Because it’s a Lee Daniels movie. (read the rest of this shit…)
WAYS YOU CAN SUPPORT THE SHIT OUT OF VERN & OUTLAWVERN.COM
if that's your thing:
1. Patreon
Toss me a couple bucks a month, support the good shit, also get access to a bunch of exclusive writing. This is my primary source of writing money that has allowed me to cut down to part time at the day job. Thank you!
2. Buy my books from your local bookseller or somebody
(NOTE: My ten year contract has passed on the Titan books, so I don't get residuals on them like I do WORM ON A HOOK and NIKETOWN, but I would love for you to read them because I'm proud of them)
EXTRA CREDIT: Review them on Amazon! That would really help me out. Unless you didn't like them, in which case forget I said anything.
3. If you ever buy from Amazon, go through my links or search engines
(you pay the same amount you were gonna pay anyway they cut me a little slice)
I also have an Amazon UK one:
(I can't get the search box widget to work anymore, so click on MOONWALKER and then search for what you want.)
4. My exciting line of fashion and leisure products
(I get a couple bucks per item, you get a cool t-shirt, mug or lifestyle item)
5. Spread the word
Tell your friends about my reviews and my books and everything. Only cool people though please, we don't need a bunch of suckers and/or chumps around here.
THANKS EVERYBODY. YOUR FRIEND, VERN
* * * *
Recent commentary and jibber-jabber
Charles on The Shrouds: “Toxic, I am so sorry for your loss.” May 8, 09:32
Jean Bailey on Gemini (plus the High Fidelity tv series): “Yes! It is possible for KeycheinX to recover your stolen bitcoin from scammers. It is possible for KeycheinX to recover…” May 8, 09:24
CJ Holden on The Shrouds: “While for some really weird reason “body horror” became one of those overused internet buzzwords that people apply to anything…” May 8, 08:34
sb jewelers Georgia on Michael Jackson: “SB Jewelers GA – Fine Jewelry in Georgia Discover elegant, handcrafted jewelry at SB Jewelers GA. We offer a curated…” May 8, 08:31
bmw parts london on Michael Jackson: “Buy Car Engine Parts online, OEM Parts OEM Quality Parts in London Auto Parts Store. All Models include Audi, For…” May 8, 08:03
Kevin on Companion: “@Bill Reed: that comparison to “Abigail” is quite apt. @The Allusionist: I described it to a friend who was reluctant…” May 7, 18:04
Jules on Companion: “A little off-topic, but what do we think are the odds that Vern has a SUMMER OF series on tap?…” May 7, 17:14
Palermo on The Shrouds: “I’ll probably check this out tomorrow night. I agree with you about the overuse of the term “body horror.” I…” May 7, 15:44
CJ Holden on Havoc: “I had quite the good time with it. Okay, when we hit the 40 minute mark and so far the…” May 7, 12:51
Johnson Fidelis on Gemini (plus the High Fidelity tv series): “I gave KeycheinX 5 stars ***** for a job well done. Check out the full review… I got a call…” May 7, 11:49
CJ Holden on The Shrouds: “Anthony Hopkins once told a story about how he received a script from Cronenberg. Can’t remember if he had to…” May 7, 00:45
Adam C aka TaumpyTearrs on Companion: “Maybe I will give this one a try after all, everyone here had a way more positive response to this…” May 6, 22:57
VERN on The Shrouds: “Borg9 – Good point about him being the adapter of the unadaptable. He did a WTF promoting this and when…” May 6, 22:45
JTS on Companion: “I really like Jack Quaid, both as an actor and as a podcast guest, and he’s had a pretty busy…” May 6, 20:31
The Allusionist on Companion: “Ex Machina is a definite point of comparison. “Companion” is entertaining enough, and Thatcher is dependably great, but I couldn’t…” May 6, 18:17
When I saw DOMINO on opening day in 2005, I really thought it was the worst shit ever. In fact, at some point I earnestly added a “the worst shit ever” tag to 
“He had an uneventful childhood. He played baseball with the other kids on the block, became fascinated with the antics of what later became his heroes – The Three Stooges, read Spiderman comic books, thought Jerry Lewis was hilarious and the Little Rascals even more so. What influenced Raimi to become the ‘horror meister’ of slash and gore films is not found in his past.”
“If anyone’s gonna pee on him, it’s gonna be me!”
