Jalal Merhi (who we previously saw in the similarly animal-titled TALONS OF THE EAGLE) stars as Lyle Camille, a dorky Canadian martial artist who chooses to go into business instead of pursuing life as a true warrior. He’s just graduated with his MBA, he’s engaged to get married to Ashley (model Monika Schnarre) and his dad (Jamie Farr!) got him a job as VP at his credit card company. This moment of achievement and potential could set him up to get the Goose-in-TOP-GUN treatment, the ol’ one-last-job-before-I-retire curse. Instead it’s his brother Lance (Laurent Hazout, whose only other role is “Interzone Boy” in NAKED LUNCH) who bites it, overdosing on a new opium-based “more addictive than crack” drug called “fish food” or “nirvana” (often pronounced “ner-VAN-uh.”) (read the rest of this shit…)
KICKBOXER 3 is one of the movies I watched for the Super-Kumite but had to turn it into an exhibition match due to its lack of tournament. This is a pretty enjoyable one though with a weird mix of sports movie and violent shootout movie. Also it deals with sex trafficking just like the last movie I reviewed. (Don’t worry – it’s against it.)
NINJA III is one of the only movies to really explore how much ninjas like yogurt
One of our nation’s perennial VHS favorites, NINJA III: THE DOMINATION, has recently made the transition to digital and high definition disc type formats courtesy of the heroes at Shout Factory. Check out my review of the new blu-ray over on Daily Grindhouse. If you also want to read a review I wrote of the movie a couple years ago then you can click here.
Bolo explains energy transference punches using that desk thing you buy at the Sharper Image
It’s back-to-back Blanks! Everything’s coming up Blanks! This week my column on Daily Grindhouse somehow merged with their regular column Videogeddon. I didn’t intend that, but then the world didn’t intend to use up all their resources and have to move all the rich people underground to be protected by Billy Blanks on a motorcycle. These things happen.
That’s right, I reviewed TC 2000 starring Blanks with Bolo Yeung, Jalal Merhi and Mathias Hues, and celebrating its 20th anniversary this August. Click on the title there to check it out.
Round 1, final competitor, Team Blanks vs. The Red Fist Club
“I didn’t come here to box. I gave that up a long time ago. I came here to find his killer.”
I’m not sure, but could BLOODFIST be the first movie to include sports achievements in the credits? Because it lists the star as DON WILSON – WORLD KICKBOXING ASSOCIATION LIGHT HEAVYWEIGHT WORLD CHAMPION.”
(Rob Kaman, Billy Blanks and Kris Aguilar get similar credits.)
Of course, we call him Don “The Dragon” Wilson for short, and he stars as Jake Raye, a retired boxer who works pathetically giving faked fight demos for bullied kids at Hal & Jake’s Self Defense in the Valley. He coulda been a contender or whatever but he selflessly donated his kidney to his half brother Mike (Ned Hourani, BLOOD CHASE, BLOOD HANDS, BLOOD RING, FIST OF GLORY, ETERNAL FIST, LIVE BY THE FIST). With only one of those things he could die if he went back in the ring. (read the rest of this shit…)
This week in my column at DAILY GRINDHOUSE I take a look at yet another VHS-only martial arts oddity, it’s called EQUAL IMPACT. Hats off if any of you have heard of it. This one stars one-and-done tae kwon do practicing twin brothers Joe and Jay Gates, plus Robert Z’Dar and Joe Estevez. And as I was watching it I was surprised to realize it was filmed in Seattle.
Round 1, Final Bout, Team Blanks vs. The Red Fist Club
“You’ve got steel balls, but no brains.”
How’s this for a weird twist on the fighting tournament movie: mismatched undercover narcotics agents Billy Blanks (USA) and Jalal Merhi (Canada) train real hard to enter an underground fighting tournament so they can impress crime lord Mr. Li (James Hong). It works, he hires them, and the tournament is never mentioned again.
Up until that point it has all the traditional tournament movie touches, though. The older mentor is Master Pan Quing Fu, a hall-of-famer martial artist who helped the Chinese government catch 23 Triad leaders in the ’60s, appeared in SHAOLIN TEMPLE with Jet Li, and is playing himself in this movie! We know he’s a good dude because when Mr. Li tries to “pay repects” to him with a bunch of cash Master Pan burns it with a torch. (read the rest of this shit…)
Round 1, Bout 3, Team Video Games vs. The Men From Hong Kong
Fung Shang Wu Chi is the Darth Vader of the Man Chu Ching Dynasty. He’s a blind man who lives on a mountain disguised as a Buddhist lama, but he works for the Emperor, seeking out the last remaining rebels who support the former Ming Dynasty and decapitating them with the flying guillotine, a scientifically questionable but cinematically unparalleled weapon that’s basically a ring on a chain. When he tosses it over someone’s head it unfolds into a basket with a circle of blades inside, then he yanks it and it’s off with their head. And it’s ingeniously designed because the whole thing can fold up into small cylinder about the size of a pocket umbrella. If these things were easier to master then women could keep them in their purses instead of pepper spray, that would be pretty cool. (read the rest of this shit…)
ROUND 1, BOUT 2, AMERICAN KICKBOXERS VS. THE WOMEN
“They’re gonna be punchin where you’re at. Don’t be there.”
I wasn’t familiar with Mimi Lesseos until I was trying to find more tournament movies and I discovered this one. Actually, her wrestling name “The Magnificent Mimi” sounds kind of familiar, maybe I heard of her back in the late ’80s when she was a contender for the AWA World Women’s Championship belt (which she never got, except in a 1989 Playboy spread). After appearing as The Magnificent Mimi, chief rival to the heroine of AMERICAN ANGELS: BAPTISM OF BLOOD (1989), Lesseos decided to pull a Tom Laughlin and make her own independent action vehicles. She started by writing, producing and starring in PUSHED TO THE LIMIT (1992). (read the rest of this shit…)
SUPER-KUMITE, ROUND 1, SECOND BOUT: AMERICAN KICKBOXERS VS. THE WOMEN
IMDb may list this Cannon production as AMERICAN KICKBOXER, but the DVD cover and more importantly the title screen call it AMERICAN KICKBOXER 1. So going by the DIE HARD 2 precedent that is the official title as far as I’m concerned. Part 1 is the story of B.J. Quinn (John Barett, GYMKATA), middleweight kickboxing champ with a 35-1 record. In the opening fight he takes on the young up and comer Chad Hunter (Keith Vitali, REVENGE OF THE NINJA) and wins with an allegedly accidental elbow. Because of B.J.’s arrogant talk on the way to the ring and the dishonorable means of victory I honestly thought this was the introduction of the bad guy. But I guess he’s supposed to be one of those lovable asshole characters, or possibly just a guy at a low point who needs redemption or whatever. (read the rest of this shit…)
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Recent commentary and jibber-jabber
Severen on Kick or Die: “As put by Mark Twain in his essay “The Awful German Language”: Every noun has a gender, and there is…” Mar 5, 15:10
CJ Holden on Kick or Die: “Oh, so many jokes have been made about the German “Der, Die, Das”. Many people say it’s the most difficult…” Mar 5, 12:04
Curt on Kick or Die: “I’m assuming that German, unlike English, has different variations of “the” depending on context, or else there would be an…” Mar 5, 11:30
Bill Reed on The Secret Agent (2025): “Filho stuffs this whole movie with fascinating faces and interesting people, but it’s not cluttered. Dona Sebastiana is probably my…” Mar 5, 10:20
CJ Holden on Kick or Die: “Oddly enough “The Bart The” is a correct translation, but it should’ve been “Der Bart Der”, which also can be…” Mar 5, 08:32
Curt on Kick or Die: “CJ, are you telling me Sideshow Bob’s “Die Bart Die” tattoo DOESN’T say “The Bart The”? More seriously, I just…” Mar 5, 07:35
CJ Holden on Kick or Die: “Correct would’ve been DER EXPERTE, but there already was a movie with the same title around the time. https://www.imdb.com/de/title/tt0092884/?ref_=fn_t_1” Mar 5, 07:27
Curt on Kick or Die: “I can’t be the only person who thinks that last poster looks like the one for SOMETHING WICKED THIS WAY…” Mar 5, 07:05
Max K. on Blades of the Guardians: “It’s deeply unfair to new works to compare them to their golden age counterparts. Even if they share some of…” Mar 5, 00:42
Adam C aka TaumpyTearrs on Kick or Die: “@Majestyk – I had Skate or Die for the NES! Reading about this reminded me of the even weirder movie…” Mar 4, 23:58
Rozar Smacco on The Super-Kumite: Bloodfist: “For the love of mephisto! How has the Bloodfist series not received illumination from the Pen of Vern? This seems…” Mar 4, 21:17
Mr. Majestyk on Kick or Die: “KICK OR DIE sounds like a side-scroller game that would come free with the Sega Master System.” Mar 4, 17:55
Sternshein on Blades of the Guardians: “I asked on Bluesky about the three in the credits and sent me this. Director Yuen Woo-Ping himself (channeling a…” Mar 4, 17:23
KayKay on Blades of the Guardians: “Fuck Emerald Fennell’s WUTHERING HEIGHTS! As someone who’s read Emily Brontë’s masterpiece three times (and limbering up for a fourth),…” Mar 4, 17:17
VERN on The Grandmaster: “I believe the confusion is that it’s actually 1 hour 48 minutes, not 148 minutes.” Mar 4, 14:31
Round 2, Bout 1: Team Bolo vs. The Women
KICKBOXER 3 is one of the movies I watched for the Super-Kumite but had to turn it into an exhibition match due to its lack of tournament. This is a pretty enjoyable one though with a weird mix of sports movie and violent shootout movie. Also it deals with sex trafficking just like the last movie I reviewed. (Don’t worry – it’s against it.)
Round 1, final competitor, Team Blanks vs. The Red Fist Club
This week in my column at DAILY GRINDHOUSE I take a look at yet another VHS-only martial arts oddity, it’s called EQUAL IMPACT. Hats off if any of you have heard of it. This one stars one-and-done tae kwon do practicing twin brothers Joe and Jay Gates, plus Robert Z’Dar and Joe Estevez. And as I was watching it I was surprised to realize it was filmed in Seattle.
Round 1, Final Bout, Team Blanks vs. The Red Fist Club
Round 1, Bout 3, Team Video Games vs. The Men From Hong Kong
SUPER-KUMITE, ROUND 1, SECOND BOUT: AMERICAN KICKBOXERS VS. THE WOMEN
champ with a 35-1 record. In the opening fight he takes on the young up and comer Chad Hunter (Keith Vitali, REVENGE OF THE NINJA) and wins with an allegedly accidental elbow. Because of B.J.’s arrogant talk on the way to the ring and the dishonorable means of victory I honestly thought this was the introduction of the bad guy. But I guess he’s supposed to be one of those lovable asshole characters, or possibly just a guy at a low point who needs redemption or whatever. 
