"CATCH YOU FUCKERS AT A BAD TIME?"

Avatar: Fire and Ash

I’m not gonna waste your time pretending you need my opinion whether to see AVATAR: FIRE AND ASH or not. If you don’t like these movies, no, don’t bother. If you do, obviously you’re gonna see it, it’s a new AVATAR! A new James Cameron! You’re not a heathen. And he’s still pretty much undefeated. The streak continues.

If I were to offer viewing advice it would be to avoid HFR (high frame rate) projection at all costs. I recklessly decided to see it at my favorite theater (SIFF downtown, f.k.a. Cinerama) despite my hatred for that format, and as soon as it started my heart just sank. When projected in this format, what seems like the majority of the movie is presented with the ugly screen saver sheen of 60-frames-per-second, but it repeatedly switches back to aesthetically pleasing 24 fps and if you’re like me you sigh with relief until it goes back and then you start grumbling to yourself again. It felt like I spent the whole 197 minutes fighting over the remote control with some guy who wants the motion smoothing on, so my level of concentration was not ideal for maybe the first 45 minutes. I was so taken out of the movie that a James Cameron directed air battle dropped dead in front of me like some Stephen Sommers clatter. Should be illegal. I’m never doing HFR again.

For that reason only, this is the least I’ve ever enjoyed any AVATAR movie. But it still got me. I still loved it. Can’t wait to see it in a shittier theater where they’re allowed to present it in the style of a motion picture. My largest criticism of the movie itself is that it’s way more like AVATAR: THE WAY OF WATER than WAY OF WATER was like AVATAR. It’s not breaking ground, it’s just continuing. I vaguely remember one of the Beastie Boys saying that they reinvented the wheel for Check Your Head but they only rotated the tires for Ill Communication. Man, I love Ill Communication though.

As long as he’s making the thing look like an old soap opera (in select theaters), might as well give us some melodrama about the ongoing lives of some characters we’ve grown attached to. After the first movies I’m invested in:

*Spider (Jack Champion, FREAKY TALES) and his journey to be accepted by the Sully family and Na’vi culture that raised him even though he’s human and the biological son of their greatest enemy.

*Kiri (Sigourney Weaver portraying a teenage Na’vi) and her unusual abilities and frustration over not being able to connect to her god (and mother?) Eywa.

*Lo’ak (Britain Dalton, DARK HARVEST) and his guilt over his brother’s death and lack of understanding from his dad, not to mention the ongoing controversy with his tulkun (whale) homey Payakan, who has been outcast from his tribe for committing acts of violence, even though it saved them from vicious whalers.

Lo’ak’s dad, and part 1 lead Jake Sully (Sam Worthington, CLASH OF THE TITANS) is a little less central in these sequels. In this one Lo’ak even inherits his narrator duties. But I’m still interested in this ex-human Marine who has physically become Na’vi but taught his kids to say “bro” and use guns. The water-based Metkayina clan who took them in in part 2 won’t let them use the guns they find – they say (metaphorically, I think) that using steel poisons you. They would rather he ride the giant Toruk again (the impossible feat that made him the chosen one in part 1), but he says that connecting with the beast turns him into the beast. The abyss stares back into you and all that. I think Cameron is stuck between wanting to be a hippie peacenik and wanting to be a revolutionary. And I get it. I like how much these movies (like T2) wrestle with the idea that violence is corrupting but also maybe necessary. Within this movie the availability of guns almost leads to a suicide and sparks a deadly tribal conflict, among other problems, but also Jake is right that these fucking humans will never stop and might need to get shot. I’m definitely less into guns than Cameron (because I hate them) but I’m not gonna say he’s wrong. South Africa would still have apartheid if nobody was gonna use weapons against them. It’s a tough one.

I felt Neytiri (Academy Award winner Zoe Saldaña, CENTER STAGE) was underserved in WAY OF WATER, and there’s an improvement here in that she gets more things to do and learn, and wears cool mourning makeup and veil instead of repeating the wailing she does in the other two. I do still think she’s comically broad in the portion where she becomes a proud racist, so open and explicit about her bigotry that it tees up Jake for a monologue about how he’s human and his children have five fingers. I really started to think this marriage wasn’t working and that they should split up, but as always their love blooms when they have to go into battle.

Which reminds me – I should mention the story. Jake decides that Spider has to go back to live with their nice earth scientist friends because it’s not safe for him to be out here with finite breathing mask batteries. The Sully kids all agree that “that’s bullshit!,” he’s a member of the family, so as a compromise Jake and Neytiri agree that the whole family can go on the trip to drop him off. They convince Peylak (David Thewlis, THE ISLAND OF DR. MOREAU) of the Wind Traders to let them fly with his convoy even though they’re wanted terrorists. But the family are separated when the ships are attacked by raiders from the Mangkwan, a.k.a. Ash people, a tribe who live on a volcano, wear cool red and white face paint and reject Eywa. Death metal Na’vi,

It becomes a matter of the kids trying to get safely back to the parents, but meanwhile Quaritch (Stephen Lang, BAND OF THE HAND) shows up and captures Jake for the RDA (his former employers, the earth company ravaging the planet). Remember, Quaritch is Spider’s father, so he and Jake have a truce to save their co-son from Ash people.

Spider, Lo’ak and Kiri are sort of the leads now, while the other characters introduced in WAY OF WATER (such as Kate Winslet’s character Ronal and her kids) have less screen time. It’s nice to see the relationships established last time pay off, but they’re not the focus of this chapter. The most prominent brand new character is Varang (Oona Chaplin, “Perla de las Dunas receptionist,” QUANTUM OF SOLACE), the wicked leader of the Ash people. She has a pair of curved blades that she spins hypnotically, both in battle and while dancing around a fire. She has a bone she uses to blow Pandoran cocaine up people’s noses and give them visions. Okay all that is cool but she also has a thing for plugging into other Na’vi’s braids and short circuiting them. Or just chopping the braids off! A total violation.

For Quaritch it’s love at first sight, but Varang’s not as impressed by him at first. Then he shows her how to use guns and flamethrowers and both of them get really turned on by it. I mean it’s really funny how horny these two are about firepower. They probly jerk off to PREDATOR.

Cool Stepdad Quaritch

I think this is pretty much Lang’s film; Quaritch really goes on a journey. He starts out where he was last time we saw him: earthling Marine in an avatar body, back from the dead, wants to kill Jake Sully, has a soft spot for his son. Then he has to work with Jake and is surprisingly cool with that, though he’s way more excited to team up with Varang. They’re both Na’vi who hate Na’vi, I guess. He holds her suggestively while she shoots, he gets high with her, he fucks her, we don’t know if just with the braid or other ways too but the implication is undeniable. He calls her “baby” in one part, kind of a Jakesullyism. I knew this was a great movie when he was bringing her into the military compound, letting her boys set up their tents there, making General Ardmore (Edie Falco, COP LAND) back down when she calls them savages. Then all the sudden he’s wearing their warpaint, looks like one of them from head to toe. Doesn’t seem to admit that he’s kinda doing what Jake did, that he still wants to kill him for. He’s only willing to go native now that he knows some of the natives are just as bad as he is.

It’s fun to see his fellow-dead-Marine-reborn-in-an-avatar sidekick Wainfleet (Matt Gerald, xXx: STATE OF THE UNION) watch him do all this with some disgust and disappointment. There’s a great moment when Quaritch’s plan to approach the Ash people goes well because he has Wainfleet watching with a sniper rifle, then Quaritch follows Varang into her tent, where he obviously has no coverage at all. Wainfleet is asking “What the fuck?,” but he knows what’s up.

That’s also the scene where Quaritch looks around at all Varang’s TEXAS CHAIN SAW bone sculptures and shit and says, “Cozy.” So that brings up another thing I like – he’s funny! Like when he and Jake interrupt their fight to the death to save Spider, they’re all clinging to a rock, wounded and too exhausted to fight, and Quaritch says, “Awkward.” He’s funny but he’s such an asshole that they’re not going to acknowledge it with a smile or a laugh, even at this moment.

In between all that he has these scenes with Spider and Jake, each of them captive in a cell, but he shows them a little humanity. With Spider he comes in wearing a pullover hoodie, basically trying to be Cool Stepdad. Gives him what I believe is sincere praise, tells him he’s proud of him, tells him about his mother, clearly moves him a little (but doesn’t win him to his side). Maybe giving him a hamburger is one sign he doesn’t get this kid at all.

With Jake he’s not as nice, more gloating about the impending execution, but when Jake takes a hail mary at asking him to open his eyes to Eywa and the N’avi way Quaritch doesn’t entirely dismiss it. He laughs about it but I think he considers it. He’ll get there some day. Maybe he already does before this movie is over. In a way.

I really like how every time I watch the first two AVATARs I get swept into the fantasy worlds of the rain forest or the sea and then the last act hits and every time it’s “oh shit, that’s right, and now they get to fight all those fucking earth assholes with their military hardware!” People always scoffed at AVATAR and I said well, but the Na’vi guy is on the helicopter and just grabs a Marine’s head like it’s a baseball and fucking tosses him and there are 500 other things as cool or cooler in the movie. So I’m sorry, these movies are scientifically proven to rule. like that this one mixes up the structure a little so that there’s a major Na’vi vs. RDA battle more toward the middle. There’s the momentous event of Jake being brought in shackled and paraded around like he’s Osama bin Laden, and the inevitable jailbreak (with three individuals separately trying to bust Jake out) turns into a battle inside the compound. Good shit. Later we get a fun, if not-as-revolutionary-as-last-time battle that includes an escalation of the tulkun vs. whaler boat action, with the addition of a new water creature that I think we can all enjoy seeing snatching and eating dudes.

By the way, I really appreciate that marine biologist Dr. Ian Garvin [Jemaine Clement, M3GAN 2.0] got to sell out nature for the entirety of part 2 before pulling a RETURN-OF-THE-JEDI-Lando in this one. If he’d done it last time I think it would’ve lessened the impact of the message about scientists compromising by working with the wrong financiers.

Like WAY OF WATER, this screenplay is credited to Cameron and DAWN OF THE PLANET OF THE APES writers Rick Jaffa & Amanda Silver, story by those three plus Josh Friedman (WAR OF THE WORLDS) and Shane Salerno (SAVAGES). Some people (including those dearest to me) claim Cameron is a good director but bad writer, and if I’m in an argumentative mood I ask them what single word or syllable should be changed in ALIENS or TERMINATOR 2, and why they are trying to get sued by me for ruining perfection. Even the “bad” lines in those are classics – you can pry “if you really wanna shine someone on you say ‘hasta la vista baby’” from my cold, dead hands. Obviously those movies have incredible concepts, structure and storytelling that maybe my friends are taking for granted as part of the writing process. What they don’t like, really, is the occasional bluntness/corniness of his dialogue. I would argue that it’s partly an intentional style, while agreeing that that doesn’t mean you have to like it.

For me, though, the repeated concepts that are part of the Na’vi world view are fuckin great. The “I see you”s. In this one I really noticed the talk of “paths.” This is my path, brother. Or our friends’ path is our path. Jake is always trying to find his path, and ends up making his own. He was a marine grunt. A disabled veteran. A guy filling in for his dead brother on this crazy planet. A spy. A double agent. A chosen one. An actual Na’vi. A guerrilla leader. A dad. A dad who’s learning how to chill out and accept his son who hangs out with violent whales. He’s actually always learning and evolving. I think so far he’s a pretty good role model for macho dudes. Um… most of the time, anyway.

There’s some pretty crazy shit that happens in this one, the most shocking one being (DO I REALLY NEED SPOILER WARNINGS AT THIS POINT?) when Jake out of the blue decides that Neytiri was right, they should murder Spider. Kiri does this whole thing where fungus grows inside the kid and changes his organs to be able to breathe the atmosphere, and Jake knows the RDA wants to reverse engineer it to make colonization easier. I mean, you can guess whether he goes through with it or not but the fact that he does a whole Of Mice and Men thing, really intends to do it, reveals to Spider that he intends to do it… it’s heavy shit, man. On one viewing it felt a little forced for Jake to do that, but the emotions work. What he says at the end… I mean, heart-on-his-sleeve James Cameron is one of the James Camerons I love. If you’re too cool for TITANIC maybe you’ll hate this too. I don’t care. It’s your loss. I’m not participating in that.

Bringing these old fantasy and adventure tropes so lushly to cinematic life seems to trick people into not noticing that he’s not saying the same things with them. Lo’ak finally impresses his father by convincing an ancient race of pacifists to change their ways and kill the fuck out of the humans! Kiri, the actual daughter of their precious goddess, finds a way to communicate with all of nature and her message to it is “KILL ALL THE SKY PEOPLE!” Not even “shoot them in the kneecaps.” I like that these are some of the biggest blockbusters of all time but they’re designed to not deliver a nice, comfortable moral. Now the Na’vi have a machine gun, ho ho ho, and it’s a fun story development but it’s not progress for their society. We’re not supposed to be that type of thrilled by it. I would rather the tulkun council not have to huddle underwater and conclude that earthlings are such despicable monsters that it’s time to abandon the code of peace they’ve lived by for thousands of years. The things the natives have to do to fend off the colonizers are yet more desecrations caused by the colonizers, sure to have endless repercussions.

FIRE AND ASH has an end credits song by Miley Cyrus. I think it would be funny if they pulled a Steven-Tyler-playing-an-elf-in-POLAR-EXPRESS and had her appear in the movie as a Na’vi singer. But it’s good that Cameron doesn’t do every stupid thing I think would be funny. Instead he does every stupid (or otherwise) thing he thinks would be cool or beautiful or moving. And most of it works! The man is 71 now and even though we got Scorsese and Eastwood making movies in their eighties we gotta be realistic about how long these ones take before taking it for granted that he’ll really make the two more AVATAR movies he once promised. It was a surprise when it turned out spending more than a decade on one series was his path, but I feel like this is a George Lucas situation. He put himself in the position to make movies nobody else could on a technical level, and he wasn’t gonna waste it on the same thing some other person might’ve done with that ability. So it’s four quadrant spectacle but it’s weird and it’s heartfelt and it’s him. I can’t wait to return to Pandora, Eywa willing.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, December 23rd, 2025 at 5:10 pm and is filed under Reviews, Action, Fantasy/Swords, Science Fiction and Space Shit. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.

27 Responses to “Avatar: Fire and Ash”

  1. I wish I was still excited about these movies, but WAY OF WATER kind of killed that for me. Too long, too obvious, too self-impressed. I found it turgid and cloying. The new characters were bland and forgettable, the old ones one-note and repetitive. I’m really not excited to catch up with any of them. I’ll make myself see this just for the action scenes, which Cameron has not lost his touch for. But this one’s probably gonna be the make-or-break for the series for me. If it doesn’t kick into gear and give me something to give a shit about, the rest of this series is gonna feel like a contractual obligation.

  2. Mr. M: if you didn’t care for Part Water, you’ll almost assuredly not like this one I feel.

    ——
    I liked this one. Yes, even in HFR which I don’t mind too much.

    Many in my bubble are especially hating this one. Not entirely wrong: Les new stuff here, climax is way too similar to the other two, this one REALLY expects you to like these characters, they introduce a cool new villain and then barely uses them, etc. but guess I’m just an easily pleased baby because it still did it for me even when many of these big movie do not anymore.

    Guess, for me, the worst Cameron movie is still better than what the current crop of blockbuster movie maker can deliver at their best.

    But if Cameron isn’t directing the remaining entries, I feel I can probably move on from this series.

    ————

    But mostly I learned from the previews that Cameron directed a concert movie coming out in 3D HFR and now I need to decide if I’m a TRUE Cameron fan or not.

  3. “air battle dropped dead in front of me like some Stephen Sommers clatter”

    Although I’ve read a lot of this site, I must have missed Vern’s previous takes on Stephen Sommers. I will now have to read those. I wonder if we are identical – I don’t get people’s love for the Mummy. I don’t even really get the love for Brendan Frasier. The Mummy feels like a movie I should like but while watching it I am just aware of how it is doing nothing for me. It had a decade and a half after Indiana Jones to figure out how to up the game and did nothing.

    Sorry for the Mummy tangent, back to your regular Avatar programming.

  4. I loved the experience of watching this at the theater. It came close to going to the movies as a kid and being overwhelmed in a way that’s a lot harder when you’re an adult. Even the weaker moments and scenes become tests of my faith in the movie, and when they pay off it feels like it is rewarded. There were moments, mostly those with Varang in full flight. that really had me in a kind of rapture, and that’s the type of inspiration that The Movies can provide.

    That being said, this also links up to my biggest complaint: after the moves to the RDA compound, Varang becomes wall paper for the rest of the runtime. I guess you could say that that is the point being made, that joining up with military and corporate might instantly fucks up any good thing you had going, but for the story of the movie it is a loss that it not completely recovers from, in spite of a strong finale.

    At the same time, the clear-eyed way that these movies demonize the corporate and military powers, especially when they team up, and shows us how they can break apart when their interests stop aligning, is important to what’s happening in the world right now. The scene between Ribisi, Falco and Lang really underlined that point.

    Finally, I do feel that Walter Chaw, among others, has a point about these movies being problematic when it comes to the relationship between natives and colonizers historically, with now three characters with human roots being presented as essential saviours for the Na’vi. Not a dealbreaker, just something to keep in mind I feel.

  5. Yes Hammer, sounds like we feel the same. But I don’t have to make it specific to Sommers. Do you know that feeling where a movie SOUNDS like it must be huge and exciting, but your mind kind of drifts away and it turns into a bunch of clatter? Usually I would blame a poorly executed scene or an uninvolving story, but here it’s definitely me being distracted by the changing film formats and not being able to focus.

    https://outlawvern.com/2022/06/16/the-mummy-1999/

  6. Had a similar experience than Vern watching this one in theater – I bought a ticket for something called 3D ScreenX, and had no idea what it was. Now I know (in case you don’t know, it is a 270 degrees experience, where the movie is projected also on the side walls of the theater). It is supposed to be very immersive, but the first 45 min, there was a bug and the side projections did not match with the main screen – so it was quite disturbing and I also kind of missed the first big battle…

    Having said that – I enjoyed it… feeling exactly like Vern, that it is maybe too similar to the previous one. Also the big final battle seems like a best off of all the cool stuffs that happened in the final battles of the 2 previous movies. But it is still massively entertaining and has that “wow factor” that only Cameron can deliver… once the ScreenX stuff was fixed, it was definitely very immersive and beautiful to watch… I liked the fact that Spider was more in focus this time and he had a nice character ark… I liked also the fact that Quaritch had the funniest lines (and also a nice character development by falling for that evil Navi lady)… for me personally, as I am unfortunately going less and less to the cinema, this was worth the trip and the cost of the ticket.

    I don’t see myself as a huge Avatar fan – I do not revisit them as often as other big franchises, and I am still struggling a bit with the simplicity of the initial story (too much Pocahontas/Dances with Wolves inspired) BUT I do recognize the amazing work Cameron did developing that universe, these characters, and these massive battles… I think that either he should close that franchise here and give us at least one new and different movie before he retires (would love to see Ghosts of Hiroshima as a Cameron movie), but if this one makes a lot of money and Disney pushes for Avatar 4 & 5 to go ahead, they will need to shake things up a little to keep people connected – bring the Navi to earth or to another planet, bring another specie as avatars, throw a predator in the mix… I don’t know… but move away from the formula of the last 2 films…

    As for Stephen Sommers – I was okay with the first Mummy (and Deep Rising before that), but the second Mummy and Van Helsing are still some of the worst movie experiences I have ever had…

  7. Man, when did movie watching become so complicated? Here are all the formats that I can watch AVATAR THE THIRD in, depending on which cinema in my area I pick:

    – 2D
    – 2D HFR
    – 3D HFR
    – V-MAX 3D HFR
    – IMAX (probably not a real one) 3D HFR
    – IMAX 3D
    – 2D D-Box
    – 3D D-Box Laser Projection
    – Isense 3D

    I have no idea what V-Max and Isense are, other than supposedly super high quality sound and picture quality. I might go for V-MAX 3D HFR, simply because it’s the closest super premium format.

  8. I’m going to be seeing this in the theatre but I’m waiting until after the New Year to avoid the Christmas crowds. I will be throwing the towel in on seeing it in anything other than a normal widescreen release (if it’s in non-3D IMAX like the recent DUNE movies I would go to that by preference.) I’ve seen the first two films in IMAX 3D but I just never found them ‘immersive.’ I think it’s a combination of some vision/brain resistance to the projected type of image (I get motion sickness just watching a shooter style video game, and now my vision has slipped enough that I need glasses and don’t want the pain of a second set of glasses on my head for 3+ hours.) Truthfully, except for the AVATAR movies, TINTIN (Because it was Spielberg) and the re-release of THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS, I’ve never seen nor have had an interest in 3D. I will say that NIGHTMARE is by far the best ‘3D’ film of them, and other film friends of mine I trust have said that it does contain the best rendering of 3D they seen. I think it’s the nature of the puppetry and inherent skill of those animators that allowed them to convert the film successfully. Oh, and I saw the re-release of T2 in 3D. It didn’t harm the film, but it also didn’t add a single thing to it.

    I will say that categorically, watching the first two AVATARS on my most recent home set up: 83″ Samsung and a good home theatre sound system was an absolutely jaw dropping experience. These films look like nothing else in terms of fidelity and the endless depth and perfection of the image. As someone who walked out of the original T2 in 1991 convinced that we had entered a world where any image could be created and projected with perfect realism these films are a testament to that. Cameron deserves full credit for literally bending the will of the entire entertainment ecosystem to his will and vision to get these films made. There are still literally no other films that come within a country mile of matching the breadth and success of the films on a technical, artist vision level (meaning the final photographic look.)

    As a fellow Canadian, it’s really a testament (and source of a bit of reflected national pride) to unblinking creative passion and drive that Cameron, a guy from the smallest of smallest one light towns in northern Ontario could rise to something like this type of success. He was recently interviewed on Canadian TV and he talked about being I love with Sci-fi, ecology, forests and the water by the time he was 13 and living in another hick town north of Niagara Falls. He was already obsessed with the forests behind his house and scuba diving in a tributary of the Niagara river (a few kms north of the Falls.)

    I’ll also add that it’s a bit of BS to claim that he’s not a good writer. The guy has written dialogue that is being endlessly quoted, both in context and out of context, 40+ years after the words we’re written and first spoken, and will no doubt be long into whatever future we have left. And so many of the themes, concerns and fears/desires and beats of his films are relevant and meaningful still to this day. The most jarring aspect of his storytelling is that he (and his films) take it seriously, and that that is a mode that is in precious short supply in modern mass market entertainment. I like nudge nudge, wink wink as much as the next guy, but sometimes a straight shooter who wears his ideas, opinions etc. on his sleeve is also good to have.

    To everyone here at outlawvern, from the man himself down, best wishes to you all and I fondly hope you are all safe, happy and surrounded by those closest to you this Christmas.

  9. I am not taking anything away from the technical achievements of these movies. I agree that they feel big in a way almost nothing else does. I just wish all this filmmaking skill hadn’t been utilized to depict some of the dullest, flattest characters in modern cinema having the same conflicts over and over again for three hours at a time. Pretty pictures only go so far.

  10. “I just wish all this filmmaking skill hadn’t been utilized to depict some of the dullest, flattest characters in modern cinema having the same conflicts over and over again for three hours at a time. Pretty pictures only go so far”

    Spot on, Majestyk!

    I just got back from seeing this and I’m beyond annoyed — I’m insulted.

    The AVATAR movies were never paragons of storytelling (the first one was literally Dances With Wolves in space, starring Smurf cats — let’s stop pretending otherwise). But FIRE & ASH doesn’t just recycle; it vomits up scenes from its predecessors so shamelessly, they should’ve called it AVATAR: SAME SHIT, DIFFERENT DAY:

    Jake, climbing back on the Boss Banshee like it’s his midlife crisis Harley — again.

    Jake giving another “rally the clans” speech like he’s running for Na’vi president — again.

    Spider smashing lab furniture while Quaritch tries to play Daddy Dearest — again.

    Kiri plugging into Eywa like she’s rebooting her Wi-Fi router — again.

    Jake and Neytiri treating Loak like the family screw-up while worshipping Netayam’s memory — again.

    Even the action — Cameron’s supposed bread and butter — feels like reheated leftovers scraped off the bottom of the fridge.

    More banshees kamikaze-ing gunships.

    More tulkun hunting with the same harpoons, airbags, and Fisher-Price sound cannons.

    Jake and Quaritch slugging it out like two dads fighting at a PTA meeting.

    Tuk getting captured because apparently that’s her entire character arc.

    If you’re still “OOH-ing” and “AAH-ing” at this, either you’ve got the memory of a goldfish or you’re perfectly fine scarfing down Cameron’s cinematic Hot Pockets and convincing yourself this is a Filet Mignon for the ages.

    Stephen Lang is great, but if Quaritch resurrects himself again, I’m done. His arc flatlined two movies ago, and now they’re just Weekend-at-Bernie-ing him for kicks. And don’t get me started on the tulkun hunter — the guy literally had his hands ripped off last time, yet here he is, back like a bad rash.

    The only things that actually worked — and of course, they’re barely in the movie:

    Quaritch getting roofied by Varang, then crawling back for another hit of that Mangkwan tail.

    The Mangkwan, who are basically the Na’vi’s atheist goth cousins, sneering at all the spiritual, Earth Mother, kumbaya nonsense.

    Jake and Neytiri making catastrophically bad calls about Spider, leading to the one genuinely dark, compelling moment in the whole bloated runtime.

    And here I was, foolishly expecting Cameron to unleash that prodigious imagination once more, conjuring a sumptuous banquet of world‑building. After the lush emerald cathedrals of Pandora’s forests and the shimmering sapphire dreamscapes of its oceans, I thought a 3rd installment sub-titled FIRE & ASH would ignite the screen with a new palette: a realm of volcanoes belching fire into the heavens, rivers of molten gold carving through obsidian valleys, and landscapes cloaked in drifting ash like the aftermath of some cosmic funeral.

    I pictured skies bruised crimson with volcanic smoke, jagged cliffs glowing like embers, and savage silhouettes dancing against the infernal glow — a world both terrifying and breathtaking, a visual symphony of destruction and rebirth.

    Instead, what landed on my plate was basically WAY OF THE WATER: Leftovers Edition — reheated spectacle with all the nutritional value of a microwaved burrito. And as garnish? A side order of Pandora’s answer to a meth‑dealing biker gang, except they’re Space Cats in leather vests, revving their banshees like Harleys, and taking spiritual guidance from a priestess who’s less “holy oracle” and more “horny cult leader auditioning for a Na’vi remake of MAD MAX.”

  11. I keep it simple and have gone to see every Avatar movie in IMAX 3D, which at least sounds like the best way to watch these. It helps that we have a good IMAX theatre here, though there was a wind storm when I went to see this and the power cut the 3D off for ten minutes so I missed the “horny” part all the reviews were talking about.

    Otherwise, I have the same problem that this one doesn’t feel it’s breaking enough new ground, which is exactly what we’re accustomed to in a new James Cameron movie. I was also a bit more uncomfortable with some of the Indigenous coding in this one, especially concerning the purely “savage” Ash tribe and the represented treatment of Spider’s character as someone the Na’vi have to overcome their own hatred to accept. To me, WAY OF WATER is the best one, but I’m looking forward to streaming this in a few months with no distracting power failures.

    Also, Merry Christmas everyone.

  12. 🎄 Merry Christmas Everyone 🎅🏻

    In case you didn’t spot it I’ve switched up the search box in the header it is now a live search that finds matches with just a few characters as you type in a drop-down with load more and excerpts with the match. Hope everyone looking for gems in Vern’s massive back catalog has fun finding new things to read and comment on.

  13. Wow, Chris – that’s amazing! Thank you so much!

  14. Dooley the Gravedigger

    December 24th, 2025 at 11:52 pm

    “Finally, I do feel that Walter Chaw, among others, has a point about these movies being problematic”

    Chaw is a good, thoughtful writer who seems to be driven to sheer raging hatred by the mildest of movies when they don’t tick all the boxes he thinks they should tick. I guess there’s an argument to be made about representation in FIRE AND ASH being problematic, but I note this didn’t seem to be a problem for the African-American, Asian and various Maori actors who have starred or are starring (Yeoh having filmed scenes for a later instalment) in the Avatar films old, new and future.

  15. Man, I can’t even watch these things to enjoy the action and criticize the scripts like everybody else because I just hate the Na’vi designs so much.

    Obviously the level of technical detail in them and the animation is top-notch, but I think they are so ugly and goofy looking (especially the faces) that I can’t imagine watching them for 3 hours. James Cameron was the first director I knew by name. The moment child me realized the same guy directed Aliens, T2, and the Abyss was a key moment setting me on the path to being movie nerd instead of just a casual viewer. And now it seems like he is going to spend the rest of his life (or at least career) making nothing but Avatar movies. *sigh* I don’t want to be a hater, I swear! My gut reaction is just too strong to overcome.

  16. Well, he also co-directed a 3D concert film with Billy Eilish.

  17. I am glad the people who like these movies can enjoy them. They are aggressively not my thing. Don’t even need to have an opinion on the new one. God bless.

  18. I will admit Walter Chaw’s outrage can overwhelm his obvious talents as a film critic sometimes, but the man does make one pertinent point:

    For a series of films operating within the narrow sandbox the AVATAR movies play in — essentially colonialist melodramas where Evil White Men show up to strip‑mine Pandora for shiny rocks or kill their wildlife for shiny, life-extending goop, Cameron sure finds creative ways to keep Whitey alive (Grace, Quaritch, Wainfleet, Spider) while the Natives who bite it (Eytukan, Tsu’Tey, Neteyam, Ronal, Rotxo) stay as dead as fried chicken.

  19. I find myself in the same position as Adam and Chuck*, where almost the only thing I have to say about this franchise is that I have nothing to say about this franchise. I have a great deal of difficulty getting interested in animated films, even ones I am told are objectively great, like THE INCREDIBLES and the TOY STORY films. I do like kids’ shorts, like Looney Tunes (timeless and hilarious), Max and Ruby (cute!), and I even endured a great deal of Clifford the Big Red dog with my daughter (not great, but eventually grew on me, and I have still variou suseless plotlines and character names burned into my neurons). And, yes, I did just today play my FROZEN-loving daughter a YouTube video of Donald Duck singing “Let It Go” from front to back. And, yes, it is true that a set of circumstances conspired where I ended up watching WALL-E sixteen-ish years ago at my brother’s house, and I liked it.

    Which is to say that the blue AVATAR people seem like fundamentally cartoon people, the first of these films thus seemed like a ROGER RABBIT / SPACE JAM type of deal, and now these sequels seem like pretty much just cartoons, and for whatever reason, it is very difficult for me to engage with a cartoon film for whatever reason (it’s the same with musicals), even though I know these are the most box offically successful films of ever.

    So, although I have never seen or had any in these AVATAR films, I accept that they are a commercial juggernaut, I think it is cool that James Cameron is still in the game and doing his own weird, offbeat vanity project epic, and it is even cooler that tons of people are loving and resonating with it. Any time there is a big event franchise involving a franchise that is still in its original, pre-reboot run, and it’s kicking ass, I am happy for it. Hell, nah, I ain’t mad at cha, James Cameron.

    [p.s. Okay, so, now that I mentioned ROGER RABBIT, I am remembering that I also saw and liked ROGER RABBIT way back when it first came out but have never revisited it. And I think PIRATES: BAND OF MISFITS is also a lot of fun, and I thought TIN-TIN was good, and I liked the Zemeckis CHRISTMAS CAROL. ]

    *which should be and probably is the name of a morning zoo type radio show

  20. You guys, 22€ to see the movie in IMAX 3D HFR? And that’s just the cheapest seat! I feel like I have to sit that one out until it hits home video. These movies work well enough in 2D on my small (by modern standards) TV screen. I guess seeing them in super premium eyeballfuck-o-vision would be nice, but I’m too much of a broke-ass cheapskate for that. Can’t think of any movie that would be worth THAT much money.

  21. CJ, unless you’re into paying premium prices for cinematic Ambien, skip this dud. Pocket your cash and wait for Nolan’s THE ODYSSEY next summer—hopefully, an IMAX experience that won’t make you question your life choices.

    Sure, expect more time-fuckery from ole Chris, but at least you’re not torching your wallet on a 3 hour screensaver
    .

  22. Eh, I liked the first two AVATARs a lot, but the last Nolan joint that I actually enjoyed was THE PRESTIGE (aka the most brillant dumb movie ever made), so I sure as hell won’t waste that much money on something that so far neither looks or sounds like I would even have fun with it at home. For that much money I want something that is worth all the gimmicks and I can’t imagine that a bunch of Hollywoodstars cosplaying in front of dusty locations with muted colours will be it.

    That said: The 3d HFR Not-IMAX version in a different city is just 16 eurobucks for a ticket, which is the maximum amount I am willing to pay for a movie theater, so I guess I settle for that.

  23. Hehehe… as our patron saint of barroom philosophy and Ace Cooler Dalton once grunted: Opinions vary.

    Mine? I’m downright stoked for Nolan’s next myth-soaked opus. Blame a childhood spent mainlining Greek mythology like Saturday morning cartoons—Jason flexing with the Argonauts, Theseus smacking down the Minotaur, Perseus turning Gorgons into stone décor, Herc sweating through his labors, and Homer’s double feature of The Iliad and The Odyssey. So yeah, I’m curious to see what ole Chris does when he raids the attic of Classical Antiquity. The man’s never let me down—though let’s be honest, with TENET he disappeared so far up his own asshole he practically invented a new genre: rectal sci-fi.

    Meanwhile, Cameron’s Avatar saga continues to prove that yes, you can overdose on bioluminescent cat-people melodrama. If the bum-numbing tedium of Avatar 2’s whale-bonding midsection didn’t knock you into a coma, congrats—you’ve unlocked the endurance perk. Avatar 3 at least remembers pacing exists, but don’t expect revelation. Set your dial to ‘More of the Same Shit’ and you might just trick yourself into thinking you had fun.

  24. Nolan is one that exists in that gray zone, where I can’t always be sure how much of my resistance is my deep-seated contrarian streak, and how much is actural preference. I know it’s a mix of the two and that it’s more of the latter, but there’s definitely a component that is contrarian streak. The contrarian streak is evident in that I have no reflexive resistance to, say, a Ridley Scott movie, because I know Ridley Scott is not afraid to slum it and be an oddball (HANNIBAL, COVENANT, etc.), whereas I chafe at how Nolan and the film criticism / entertainment news illuminati deep state lizard people industrial complex are in a kind of symbiotic conspiracy theory psyop involving chemtrails, space lasers, and the use of Russian bots to achieve hitherto implausible media coups, like making “BARBENHEIMER” a thing or delivering Robert Downey, Jr. an Oscar for playing A SERIOUS HISTORICAL FIGURE.

    It can’t all be contrarianism, because I love THE DARK KNIGHT RISES, and INSOMNIA was pretty good, and my desire to be entertained by an entertaining movie is very strong, and more than anything, I want there to be more movies that entertain me. This is how Leonardo DiCaprio steadily overcome my contrarianism: By being really good in a number of movies that entertained me over a period of decades despite his strong douche vibe and the Nolanesque media lionization he has enjoyed since at least THE BASKETBALL DIARIES if not sooner. Turns out the lizard people were right about him.

  25. Dude, I LOVE the old Harryhausen fantasy flicks, but let’s be honest, Christopher Nolan is the kind of filmmaker who reads an ancient epic, takes most of the cool shit out and leaves us with three hours of people talking about love, honor and what makes a human human. If he actually delivers an exciting fantasy epic, I surely won’t stay away from it, but I suspect he watched the joyless compilation of dramatic actors whispering dialogue while looking emotionless into the camera that was called Villeneuve’s DUNE and thought “Aw, maaaaaaan, I want that too!” I read somewhere that it will have the cyclops, but that he actually had a gigantic animatronic built for it, which will most likely mean we will only see glimpses of it.

    I try not to be a hater. I actually don’t have any beef with Nolan. He is just some director who hasn’t made anything that I cared about in 20 years. Mostly because it’s obvious that he wants to be at one hand a blockbuster filmmaker, while at the same time also be recognized by “serious” critics. That’s not an impossible feature. Spielberg has been doing that for decades! The problem is that even Spielberg’s most dramatic or minimalistic movies are actually exciting and entertainment, while Nolan comes up with these concepts that are exciting on paper (Heist movie inside people’s mind! Wibbly wobbley timey wimey secret agent stuff! Space exploration! How the deadliest weapon in the world was built! Batman in a post-9/11 world!), but have all entertainment value removed once they hit the screen.

    So yeah, I take “More of the same on Pandora”, because this is just the third time in 16 years. And also my first time in 3D HFR. We’ll see if I crack and also add the IMAX screen, since it’s payday.

  26. Who is a cooler stepdad, Quaritch or Deacon Frost? 🤔

  27. ” Christopher Nolan is the kind of filmmaker who reads an ancient epic, takes most of the cool shit out and leaves us with three hours of people talking about love, honor and what makes a human human.”

    Where we’re perfectly aligned is Nolan’s compulsive urge to inject gravitas into every plot, as if Batman can’t throw a punch without a TED Talk attached. Where we split is you treat that solemnity like the medium rare Rib Eye, while I see it as parsley—decorative, forgettable, and occasionally stuck in your teeth. All the tortured musings on ‘the corrupting nature of evil’ and Occupy Wall Street commentary didn’t magically transform The Dark Knight or The Dark Knight Rises into political treatises. They’re still adrenaline‑fueled, beautifully choreographed action blockbusters—philosophy class just happens to be stapled to the back of the script like an appendix nobody asked for

    But let me not start the year being the Grinch, and here’s hoping AVATAR 3 rocked you seven different ways.

    And on that note:

    New year, same delightful chaos… only with resolutions polished to a blinding shine before being abandoned by Valentine’s Day. 🥂 Here’s to reckless reinventions, dubious brilliance, and the Mighty Pen of Vern carving out scintillating reviews—while the gloriously witty, snarky and caustic rants in the comments sections provide the perfect soundtrack to my 2026 entertainment.

    Happy New Year to one and all!

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