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Purple Rain

tn_purplerainbtisl“Ladies and gentlemen… The Revolution!”

Those are the first words spoken in PURPLE RAIN, and that dude knew what he was talking about. The 1984 rock ‘n roll landmark opens with a bravura 8-minute sequence in which Prince and the Revolution – playing a band called The Revolution led by a musical genius named The Kid – perform “Let’s Go Crazy” at the 1st Avenue & 7th Street Exit. That’s a legendary Minneapolis club that still exists but of course is most famous as the place where Prince got his start. This scene, and this whole movie for that matter, are amazing because they capture Prince at the very height of his genius and his cool, playing what is now known as one of the greatest albums ever, full of classic hit after classic hit… but he’s playing the underdog. At the time it was just “the PURPLE RAIN soundtrack,” released a month before the movie. He’s peak-Prince and yet in this story he’s not blowing away stadiums of religiously devoted fans, as he’d do in real life from that year to today. Instead he’s just one of the acts playing a medium sized club, and not even the favorite of club owner Billy Sparks. Billy says the Kid’s not bringing ’em in like he used to. He’s thinking of dumping him.

(Are you a fucking idiot? Are you hearing this song that he’s playing? What the fuck are you thinking?)

Throughout the song, director Albert Magnoli (STREET KNIGHT) and his co-editor Ken Robinson rhythmically cut in other elements to set the scene: face-painted clubgoers licking each other, chief rival Morris Day preparing to come in and play after him, rolling in with a long coat and driver/assistant Jerome. But this is the only time in the movie where we’ll see Morris’s humble home life. He gets ready in a small, cluttered apartment. Later he brags about a brass waterbed. He’s fronting. The movie is full of little sad details like this, because these are all the people “gathered here today to get through this thing called life.”

Also in this scene is just about my favorite thing in the whole movie, one little shot of Prince arriving at the club as people are lined up out front. He’s all dressed up in his stage clothes, he’s riding his purple motorcycle with sleek custom windshield, and his guitar is strapped to his back. That bike looks like it could be built by the same person as the Adam West Batmobile. Prince has never looked cooler, and no one has ever looked more impressively rock-star than Prince at that moment. Imagine seeing that dude roll up to the club! And there are people there excited to see him, but it’s not pandemonium. Some of those people are probly just thinking “hey, look at that show off.” And he’s just acting like he’s a regular dude going to work. I’m sure he looks the same when he gets groceries.

mp_purplerainYou know what else is funny? Seeing that rock god go home, and it turns out he lives with his parents. He’s in the basement in a room with alot of candles and harlequin dolls and shit. So if you live in your parents’ basement, or even if you don’t and if anyone ever hurls that insult at you to make you feel like a loser, you tell them that. You know who else lived in his parents’ basement? The motherfuckin Kid. Musical genius.

His parents (played by Clarence Williams III [MANIAC COP 2] and Olga Karlatos [ZOMBIE]), he says, are a “freak show.” They fight. Until watching this again I forgot that “When Doves Cry” is all about them. “She’s never satisfied,” but he’s the real problem. He hits her, and she’s scared to come home sometimes. The Kid’s pissed at his dad, but ends up relating to him. Their problems are too intertwined. His dad, like Prince’s real dad, is also a musician. His failure to make it work as a career hangs over the Kid, as does his bitterness and jealousy. The closest thing to a nice moment is when the Kid comes to confront him about his abuse, but finds him playing a beautiful song on the piano. (“Father’s Song,” actually performed by Prince, was almost included on the soundtrack. I would say it should be on there – along with the song he plays her in his bedroom with the backmasked crying on it – but who the fuck am I to second guess Purple Rain?) They talk about music, an attempt at bonding, but dad insults him and lies to him.

Disturbingly, the line “I would die 4 U” (spelling implied) is something dad says after hitting mom. Even worse, Prince originally wanted them to die in a murder-suicide (instead dad shoots himself but lives). The story adds a dark, fucked-up undercurrent to what in its radio or record context seems like a really romantic song (although it’s already weird for a love song to include the vow “I’ll never beat you,” which in my opinion should go without saying).

That may be the most surprising aspect of the story. Rather than a hagiography, Prince’s own movie portrays him as following in his dad’s abusive footsteps. Right after Apollonia brings him the gift of a beautiful white guitar she tells him she’s joining a band that Morris started, and the Kid slaps her so hard she falls over. It’s not only violent and possessive, it’s mental cruelty too. He refused to help her with her career, but flips out when she settles for her second choice.

It’s made more believable and upsetting by the other scenes where they’re flirtatious and sweet and driving around on the motorcycle together. (And there’s a part where he does a motorcycle jump so I’m pretty sure some lucky stuntman [Brad Orrison?] got to dress up in a Prince outfit.) But he keeps messing with her head. Despite his girly eyeliner he acts like the ultimate meninist hero when he hits Morris with his motorcycle, demands Apollonia get on, and brings her somewhere to forcibly kiss. I don’t know if this is supposed to make him seem dangerous in a bad way or in a sexy way, but it might be the second one considering how irresistible women found him at the time.

Speaking of Morris Day and The Time: imagine the luck of a band as cool and fun as them always having to seem like also-rans to his motherfuckin purple majesty! Their songs are great, but they don’t get to be on the soundtrack. That’s reserved for Prince. To add insult to injury, shots of the crowd doing “The Bird” and dancing to “Jungle Love” are incorporated into the video for “Let’s Go Crazy.” Prince stole their dancers!

Then again, they get to be the funny part of the movie. As in the stage act, Jerome is a ridiculous character because he’s treated like a member of the band but he doesn’t play anything, he’s just Morris’s manservant, to make him seem imporant. Kinda like Lobot to Lando. Morris is a cartoonishly self-obsessed goofball, and gets some choice lines of prickishness, like when he has replaced Prince on the roster and tells him “It’s obvious that you don’t have what it takes to be on top. But to show you we’re sympathetic to your problems, here’s a couple of tickets to tomorrow’s show.”

But there are hints of more going on beneath the surface when his expression changes in private after his most villainous act (a way too cruel taunt about the Kid’s family). There’s enough to tell us that he’s more than the one-dimensional villain he pretends to be. Let’s not give him a medal, though. He literally discards a woman in a garbage dumpster in one scene.

So I guess I should feel more sorry for Dez. Who the fuck is Dez? Exactly. He’s a guy that also plays at the 1st Ave in the movie. “Hey guys, show some respect, I was in PURPLE RAIN.” “What, as one of the extras?” “No, I’m in it. I’m on stage performing.” “Are you Jerome?”

still_purplerain2To be fair, even the guys in The Revolution, the actual people on stage performing with Prince, have a hard time not being blinded by his shine. Compounding the problem is the unavoidable fact that the Prince look, much like the turtleneck, is not something that translates well to white guys. Look at poor drummer Bobby Z. here on the right. He looks like a young Jeffrey Jones trying to dress up as Vincent Price. Keyboardist Dr. Fink has the right idea wearing hospital scrubs. It’s comfortable, it’s sanitary, it’s convenient if you have to do a night shift in the ICU after the show. By the way, did you know that in recent years Dr. Fink has made a bunch of collections of horror movie themes for K-Tel Records? That sounds like a dream come true for me, except it’s not him doing his funky versions of the themes from CHILD’S PLAY and LEPRECHAUN, it’s just him doing a cheesy interpolation so they only have to pay for the publishing, not the original recording. Not so much covers as forgeries, along the lines of a CD you might hear playing at Value Village or the Spirit Super Store in October, the one that has “The Monster Mash” and “I Put a Spell On You” and by the time you get to “Thriller” you definitely notice that these are not the original artists.

Fink also has an album called Halloween’s Screeches, Clanks and Howls, featuring “Creaks in the Dark” and “Hits, Stabs & Splats.” So he’s always gonna be cool for his contributions to those great Prince albums and tours, and for creating sound effects to scare trick-or-treaters with, but he can never escape the gigantic shadow of tiny Prince. That goes for anybody in Prince’s/The Kid’s life. He’s beyond us all. You want to find him, follow the trail of the awe-struck and the heart-broken left in his wake.

There’s a great moment at the climax. The Kid has just blown Minneapolis wide open with the first performance of the song “Purple Rain.” They welcomed him with polite applause and then what he gave them was was so good and so moving that even Bobby Sparks teared up and had an intense look like “I am now admitting that I was incredibly, profoundly wrong about this guy and this is the greatest performance I have ever seen in my life and it’s all gonna pale in comparison to this for now on so I am seriously considering walking directly from the club to an active volcano and jumping in.” Since this and many of the songs were really recorded live on this stage (with some overdubs) the performance footage seems very real and is totally riveting to watch. I’d bet at least some of those awe-struck crowd shots are legitimate.

So then the Kid runs off stage and rips through all the halls in back. He’s either exhilarated or about to start smashing everything, you’re not really sure. He finds his motorcycle. It seems like he’s gonna just leave. The crowd is still chanting for him.

Then he feels it – someone behind him. He turns and runs toward her, smiling. But then he realizes that it’s not Apollonia. It’s the blond waitress standing there with tears streaming down her face, even before he awkwardly snubs her. She’s the one who Apollonia first talked to at the club. Who knows if she’s some ex of the Kid’s who thought the song was about her, or an admirer taking a big swing and missing. Either way it’s heartwrenching.

Man, Prince’s music in this movie creates alot of teary eyes. There are many shots of Apollonia watching him, crying. Sometimes it’s because it’s overwhelming. Once because the song (“Darling Nikki,” the founder of the PMRC) is blatantly designed to cruelly taunt her while they’re broken up. This really is a musical. The songs are all about these characters. I forgot that.

The songs were considered more pop and less experimental than the previous five Prince albums, and the impetus for doing a big power ballad was his mystification at the popularity of Bob Seger. But within the movie, The Kid’s victory is about his refusal to compromise. Billy tells him “the stage is no place for personal shit,” but he wins him over by making it more personal than ever. “Purple Rain” is inspired by the music his father refused to share with him and the song that Wendy and Lisa tried to share with him, but he stupidly refused. The lyrics are about the three parties he’s had trouble getting along with: his parents, Apollonia, The Revolution. (And in reality the Apollonia verse could be about Vanity [ACTION JACKSON], who broke up with Prince shortly before the movie, thus being replaced in the role and in the band that was formerly The Vanity 6.)

There’s a sweet moment where he goes over and apologetically kisses Wendy on the cheek, kind of a sheepish “Sorry. You were right. I was an asshole.” She doesn’t really react, and maybe that’s because she noticed that her verse in the song is hardly an apology or an admission of guilt.

“Honey I know, I know, I know times are changing
It’s time we all reach out for something new
That means you too
You say you want a leader
But you can’t seem to make up your mind
I think you better close it
And let me guide you to the purple rain.”

I mean, come on, The Kid. You were definitely being an asshole. You should’ve listened to your friend’s song. You shouldn’t have dodged it by talking to her through a puppet, or yelled “I told you already, I’m not gonna do your stupid music. Now get off it!” And Wendy doesn’t need to make up her mind about shit. You can do better. You can be a better friend than this. You have earned the Wendy & Lisa glare.


So I think this climax might be a little more revealing about Prince than it’s intended to be. He wins over everyone with the sheer, undeniable awesomeness of the song. And in life, his insistence on doing music his own way has done well for him. Refusing to compromise in relationships, I’m not so sure. I’ll have to look up if he’s still with Apollonia.

I’ve watched this a few times over the years and I’ve enjoyed it before, but never like this. This time I loved it. It doesn’t hurt that this is the first time I got to see it in high-definition, which is much more cinematic than the other ways I’ve seen it. When it comes to the home video presentation of this movie, nothing compares 2 blu.

But it’s more than that. At the end of the credits it says “May u live 2 see the dawn,” and I feel the same way about this viewing experience. May u live 2 watch PURPLE RAIN one time where it hits you like this. I was so into it I had to exert effort not to get teary-eyed during “Purple Rain” and embarrass myself. Not because of him learning his lesson and trying to express himself to the people in his life, or because of that great victory, proving himself so hard that even Billy and Morris and Jerome are in the crowd smiling and dancing, but just because god damn that’s a beautiful song.

Here’s a stupid parallel for you. I live in Seattle. We have the Space Needle in Seattle. I’m so close to it I forget about it, except that I’m always dodging tourists taking selfies under it. But every once in a while, including earlier today, I look up and think god damn, look at that thing. Most people don’t live near anything nearly that weird and cool looking. I’m lucky to have it.

And it’s the same way with other beautiful things, and great works of art. You get used to them and you take them for granted. And then every once in a while your eyes and ears are open enough that you just think god damn, Purple Rain. Purple fucking Rain. Can you believe that song exists? Can you believe that we, as a civilization, were allowed to have that weird 26 year old Prince? And all the right things happened that he wrote and recorded that fucking song? And then made a movie that’s one big build to him performing it?

Way 2 go, Prince.

p.s. Shout out to RRA who has been trying to get me to review Prince movies since before they were made

This entry was posted on Wednesday, November 11th, 2015 at 9:51 am and is filed under Drama, Music, Reviews. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.

47 Responses to “Purple Rain”

  1. Back in the day we had high hopes for Prince The Rocker. But then suddenly he went all disco on us.

  2. Man, i’ve been waiting for you to review this since forever.

  3. I’m fascinated by the network edit of this movie, where all the naughty parts of the songs are drowned out by applause. Which makes no sense, because Darling Nikki is supposed to be bombing, but suddenly it sounds like the audience loves it.

  4. Full confession: I love Prince. I love eighties ridiculousness. I’ve never seen this movie.

  5. Now, that you’ve started to grind, go on and do the other Prince’s films.

  6. Mr. M,

    I envy you! To be able to see Purple Rain again for the first time. You have a great experience ahead of you.

  7. I’m actually a little worried that I’ll hate it after reading this review. If there’s one thing in the world I cannot abide, it’s abusive assholes who get portrayed as sexy rebels. I don’t get a sense of why I should give a shit about The Kid. Because he makes good music? I could tell that from the soundtrack album. It sounds like the movie is designed to talk me out of thinking Prince is cool.

  8. i always thought dez sounded like he was singing “i want to be a mountaineer, a mountaineer mountaineer!” but then i looked it up and its modernaire (whatever that is)

    Dez Dickerson - Modernaire

    The original 4:03 track. I first saw Dez in Prince's Purple Rain (the movie) but this great song was never released and it wasn't featured on the Purple Rain...

    i guess dez has a better vocabulary than me

  9. Mr. Majestyk – Stop whatever you’re doing. Close your curtains, turn your home theater system up to 11 and indulge in the greatness of the purple one. It’s worth every minute.

    Hey Vern does this mean we can expect a GRAFFITI BRIDGE review in the future? I know people feel that it suffers from inept sequel syndrome but it’s interesting to watch just to see The Kid enter a more bohemian phase of his life.

  10. Yeah, I really don’t think I’d like this either, but I like that you like it. I mean that in an appreciative way, not a condescending one (I think it could be taken either way).

    Also I love that you used the word “hagiography”. I’ve never come specifically across “hagiography” before, but I have heard of “hagiology”, which is the study of saints. So “hagiography” isn’t too difficult to work out. (I woulda slipped in a “demonology” too. It would’ve seemed pretentious as hell, but I wouldn’t have been able to resist.)

  11. Mr M,

    Prince is kind of an asshole in this, but the movie acknowledges that and doesn’t totally worship him (except in the concert scenes). There’s a whole bunch of stuff about him inheriting all this from his abusive father, but also how he tries to move beyond that and be better.

  12. Okay, but it sounds like he’s an asshole the whole movie and then he plays a concert at the end with lyrics that show no understanding of his own role in the proceedings and then everybody loves him. That sounds like something I’m gonna go full contrarian on. I don’t want to risk not liking Prince anymore when it’s over. I already don’t think his persona is half as cool as his music by itself.

  13. I think Prince is an entitled piece of shit as a human being but that doesn’t affect my view of his art in anyway. Most geniuses tend to be self absorbed jerk offs. Some of us are better at making that distinction with no distractions than others though.

  14. I’m not talking about any behind-the-music type shit. I ignore that all the time. I’m talking about the stuff going on in the movie itself. I tend to be largely immune to live music even when I’m there in person (I stopped taking the kind of drugs that make then fun) so if all this character has going for him is “Yeah, but he’s great in concert” that shit is not gonna work on me.

  15. But thank you all for the advice. I’ll take it under advisement.

  16. It’s a great personal failing of mine that I’ve never seen GRAFFITI BRIDGE. Yet I love the shit out of STAYING ALIVE.

  17. Classic Vern review. Insightful, funny, and references the Space Needle.

    I am fucking excited to watch Purple Rain now.

  18. grimgrinningchris

    November 11th, 2015 at 8:21 pm

    Hey Vern,

    Fink also leads (but obviously does not front) a Prince tribute band called The Purple XPerience.

    That may be a first, an original member in a full on tribute.

    The PX In Dayton 720

    The Purple Xperience band performing live in Dayton Ohio

  19. I like the songs, but couldn’t get much too behind what I saw of the movie (usually on cable, VH1 or VH1 Classic). I’m totally with Mr. M’s initial assessment, I didn’t find the lead character too sympathetic outside of dealing with his parents. And “Purple Rain” is an awesome song (I’m not a huge Prince fan at all but the PURPLE RAIN album is undeniable), but that it’s this kind of show-stopping moment where suddenly everyone loves him doesn’t make a whole lot of thematic sense.

    I’d love to see Vern’s take on more rock films, like THE SONG REMAINS THE SAME or THE KIDS ARE ALRIGHT.

  20. Prince used to pay under the table cash to watch movies (after hours) at a theater I used to work at. His bodyguard would patrol the lobby outside the doors to prevent people from wandering in. It was awesome.

    I think this movie is okay. And Prince is a hell of a musician. The acting in it isn’t great, though.

  21. Any character that could steal Apollonia from Morris Day is ok with me. That’s no easy task.

    Fred – Man I grow to admire your bold tastes more and more with every post. I also like STAYING ALIVE.

    I do think GRAFFITI BRIDGE is definitely the STAYING ALIVE to PURPLE RAIN’s SATURDAY NIGHT FEVER. Down to the lead character being more mature and less arrogant because shit really got real for them and everything.

  22. Oh and Vern and the space needle is me and the Empire State Building. Not just in terms of it’s actual beauty via it’s architecture but based on what people do with it (the lighting etc.)

    A few months ago I’m randomly eating a burger and drinking some coffee in front of the flat iron before a nightshift and then boom I see this random light show and get reminded why it’s pretty awesome to have a monument pretty damn close by

    Empire State Building Light Show for Endangered Species in 4K.

    On the web: http://www.MrGClips.Com - 4K video of the 08/01/2015 Empire State Building Light Show in New York City that was organized to raise awareness abou...

  23. Also on any random 1am night around that area when you randomly look up at it and admire it’s majesty. It’s pretty comforting. I do agree that a lot of us take awesome works of art for granted far more than we should yes.

  24. In the months leading up to my departure from New York, I had one rule: No drinking within line of sight of the Empire State Building. Because that’s how the waterworks start.

  25. I love 80s Prince and I love this movie, to the point where the only laserdisc I’ve ever owned is PURPLE RAIN. The movie has a real tone problem, though. For example, when Morris and Jerome throw that woman in the dumpster, it’s like the movie thinks this is 10% cruel, 90% hilarious.

    Somewhere out there is a video of the Revolution doing the performance of “Purple Rain” which appears on the soundtrack and the movie (with lots of overdubs). Absolutely worth seeking out, to know that this band really did rip through this song in this club.

  26. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that PURPLE RAIN is also super misogynistic in places. But it’s still really fun, I swear!

  27. Yeah, I kinda picked up on that.

  28. Yeah, I kinda picked up on that.

  29. I didn’t grow up as a prince fan and I didn’t watch this movie until later in life but it is pretty amazing. The film is so unique that flaws and all you can’t help but fall for it’s one of a kind swagger.

    Mr. M, I see your point. The first time I saw PR I was kind of turned off by Prince’s abusive/misogynistic behavior in the film, but the fact that Prince even allows himself to be painted in that light in a negative way in a film that is so clearly personal to him does read as more of an indictment than an endorsement of his behavior even if the film doesn’t communicate that message very well.

    Actually it might be bad of me to admit this but I laugh out loud the first time I saw this film when Prince gets slapped by his dad. They way it is presented and how Prince responded was just so funny to me. To be clear I find that type of abuse to be unacceptable in the real world, but there is something about a grown man getting slapped by another grown man and responding the way that Prince does in PR that is unintentionally hilarious.

  30. I know there are other prince films but this film really should be shown as a double bill with my favorite unofficial Prince film Tim Burton’s BATMAN. The PR soundtrack is a classic there is no debating it, but Batdance is incredible. Also TB’s BM is just as purple if not even more purple than PR.

  31. Did insisting on “doing his own thing” really “work out” for Prince? From what I’ve heard, everything he’s released since Sign Of The Times has been pretty dire. Admittedly, I’m not a fan (in the least).

    Vern, if my sister, who was 15 when Purple Rain came out, and who wore those lacy gloves well beyond their best-before date, can be relied on: Yes, the abusive, sulky, tantrum-throwing bad boy shit went over very, very well with the ladies. Even when said bad boy is a midget.

    Also, what’s with the kissy noise he makes in the song “Kiss”? Does that ruin the whole song for anyone else?

  32. I fucking love Purple Rain. Full disclosure: I waited five hours in the rain to see Prince play at Paisley Park a couple years back, so you could say I’m a fan.

    The reason this movie works is that it doesn’t matter if you like The Kid or not. He’s not supposed to be some kind of guy we can all relate to, he’s a fucking genius. And that means he’s complicated and does fucked up things. I’m not sure why everybody thinks we have to like a protagonist to like the movie. Humbert Humbert is about as fucked up as you can get, but Lolita is still a great novel. Nabokov makes you sympathize with him, even though you know he’s fucked up. That’s what makes a piece of art great.

    The Kid is an asshole, but he’s undeniably a brilliant musician, and he acts in some ways that make him relatable and some that make him hateable. That’s Prince, that’s the movie, and it gave us an amazing soundtrack and an enjoyable film. Grafitti Bridge is an exercise in ego, but Purple Rain is lightning in a bottle.

  33. I’m not expert on modern Prince, but in my experience, there are gems on every album he’s put out. He’s very prolific and capricious, so that’s gonna produce a lot of material, some of it great, most of it not. But he’s Prince. He doesn’t need to make another dime off of album sales to stay rich forever. He puts out albums because he feels like it, not because he’s trying to chart. Somehow I don’t think getting some label executives involved would improve the output very much.

  34. As a creative type I completely respect the fact that Prince became the master of his own destiny and took ownership of his output & did it on his own terms. The fact that it has led to some of his most profitable work for him is very admirable in itself but the fact that he’s retained such musical consistency that every now and again we get a RAINBOW CHILDREN or MUSICOLOGY speaks volumes.

    Anybody with a career that varied and long are bound to have a few duds. David Bowie springs to mind. However to say that Prince’s post SIGN O’ THE TIMES output is full of duds is pure hyperbole. Some of his greatest and boldest were dropped during that era. Not just aforementioned albums but stuff like DIAMONDS AND PEARLS, THE GOLD EXPERIENCE and THE BLACK ALBUM.

  35. This article just showed up on my FB feed – there’s a Nigerian remake of (or it sounds more like a riff on) PURPLE RAIN:

    The Nigerien remake of ‘Purple Rain’ is cinematic magic

    “A revolutionary story of guitars, motorcycles, cell phones – and the music of a new generation” is how director Christopher Kirkley describes his West African re-imagining of Purple Rain. Set in the Saharan city of Agadez in Niger, Akounak Tedalat Taha Tazoughai (Akounak for short) is a visually sumptuous and musically thrilling movie that works splendidly with or without the Purple Rain mythos. But riffing on Prince’s tale locates Purple Rain’s universal heartbeat.

    Like the lone, nameless gunslinger in a Sergio Leone western, the central character in Kirkley’s film, musician Mdou Moctar, travels through the desert with a guitar instead of a rifle or Colt 45. And instead of a horse, he rides a motorcycle… a purple one. The gunslinger analogy is apt because guitar players in Agadez and surrounding areas battle among themselves to gain status as the fastest gun in the west, with six strings replacing six bullets. It’s a rivalry that is rooted in a culture where young men still embrace old school notions of masculinity. The whole cowboy thing has been transposed to musicianship. If wars are to be fought then let the bullets be musical notes.

    Moctar is a self-taught...

  36. Watched this just today, so I’m pretty late to the party, but all I can say is… wow.

    Clearly, I’m not even going to talk to you guys about the music. That would trying to talk about politics with my dad. But for the love of Christ, how did the wooden, inscrutable, bizarre and just plain bad acting escape everyone’s notice? How does that alone not relegate this movie to being a mere curiosity?

    Morris and Jerome’s Abbott and Costello routine: you seriously watched this without cringing in embarrassment?

    Apollonia radiates stupid from every pore in her body.

    Billy Sparks is possibly the worst actor in the history of the movies. No I’m not kidding.

    Morris feeling terrible after mocking the Kid’s family: yes, congratulations, Purple Rain, that was good. You did something right.

    Always good to see CWIII though. That guy should’ve been nominated for an Oscar and gotten a Travolta-like career resurgence for his work in THE BUTLER. Seriously, he was great in that movie.

  37. AnimalRamirez1976

    November 23rd, 2015 at 7:50 am

    All that being said, a Prince movie directed by Ken Russell would be a must-watch for everyone.

  38. More on the Remake from Niger (not Nigeria). Apparently it’s the first ever feature in the Tuareg language. Also apparently there is no word for “purple” in Tuareg, so the film’s literal title is “RAIN THE COLOUR OF BLUE WITH A LITTLE RED IN IT”. Like how they snuck in a “little red” there.

    Also it should go without saying this is now my #1 most anticipated Vern review


  39. Man, I am really hoping this news is fake.
    Someone really needs to stop 2016, this shit is getting out of control.

    Prince Found Dead at 57 (Report)

    The legendary musician Prince has died, TMZ reports. He was 57. His body was discovered at his Paisley Park compound in Minnesota early Thursday morning. More to come.

  40. Hoping beyond hope that the reports coming in of Prince’s passing are wrong. I’m in shock.

  41. It’s true. RIP, Prince Rogers Nelson.

  42. My God 2016 please please stop taking all my musical heroes. I’m still recovering from Bowie and a recent death in the family. Now this!

    R.I.P. Prince and Chyna the wrestler as well. Both way too young to crossover imo but may the afterlife keep it serene and funky for both of them.

  43. Just the other night I was out at a bar drunkenly singing the praises of Prince after his music started playing on the jukebox. I actually just watched Purple Rain: The Movie a couple of months ago, and the films neon soaked atmosphere and Prince’s killer music cut through any of this film’s shortcomings. What a huge loss.

  44. Alan Rickman, David Bowie, Maurice White, Ronnie Corbett, Victoria Wood only yesterday and now Prince. Fuck this year.

  45. Phife Dawg too and Natalie Cole late last year. Seems like the Grim Reaper been taking all the greats for his own entertainment lately. Stage shows in the afterlife is must be live as fuck though. Bowie, Prince, Phife and Miss Cole co-headlining with MJ, Rick James and Lennon somewhere on a different plane must be beautiful as fuck to see.

  46. Eat a dick 2016.

  47. Oh yeah, also James Bond / Remo Williams (original director for Donner’s Superma) director Guy Hamilton. For better or worse he helped define ‘modern’ action movies and it is arguable his over-the-top and silly stylings and leanings have never fully gone away.

    As for Prince, I have no words. This one is hard. Going to play Purple Rain and Batman The Album now.

    Thus to reiterate… eat a dick 2016.

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