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Found: Bearded Harold’s full name

When I first posted about the freaky ads that haunt me on hotmail I named the hairy guy “Bearded Harold” because Harold was the name on his driver’s license:

weirdads3But I couldn’t really make out the last name on his signature there. Fortunately, a new ad has surfaced, featuring much neater handwriting on a parking ticket:

Picture 2There you go. Harold Alexander Swan. No word on if Judge Moody or Thomas O’Malley are that ugly overbite/glasses guy. But we’ll learn eventually.

(Sorry guys, I don’t watch LOST, so I have to analyze clues in shit like this. Do you think it’s too late for this to be a viral tie-in to CLOVERFIELD?)

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17 Responses to “Found: Bearded Harold’s full name”

  1. One Guy From Andromeda

    February 12th, 2010 at 5:58 am

    i like watching your slow descent into madness, vern.

  2. Great Unwashed

    February 12th, 2010 at 8:23 am

    We’re through the looking glass here, people.

  3. Frank Marmoset

    February 12th, 2010 at 11:20 am

    There is a Swan station lost, and all that stuff was built by long-haired hippy types, so it’s entirely possible Harold Alexander Swan will turn up on the island at some point, say something confusing, get killed, then turn out to be still alive (or maybe a ghost).

  4. Frank Marmoset

    February 12th, 2010 at 11:21 am

    Shit, man, that should say ‘a Swan station ON Lost’

  5. Gwai Lo

    February 12th, 2010 at 1:21 pm

    There’s a moustached Harold Swan on Facebook:

    http://www.facebook.com/people/Harold-Swan/594603234

  6. Mike V.

    February 12th, 2010 at 1:31 pm

    Harold Swan was doing 70mph in a 35mph zone? Am I reading that ticket correctly?

    Judge Moody is going to throw the book at him!

    FREE HAROLD SWAN!

  7. Snow

    February 12th, 2010 at 1:56 pm

    The fact that his full name appears in a separate ad makes the whole thing more ridiculous than i’d ever imagined.

  8. dan

    February 12th, 2010 at 2:02 pm

    those Cloverfield guys were still digging up shit months after the production team said “fuck off, we’re not doing a sequel for a while”. i say you’re on the right track, you’ll go on record as the first to make the connection.

  9. M. Casey

    February 12th, 2010 at 2:34 pm

    No THE WIRE, no LOST… well, if it gives you more time to review movies, I’m all for it!

  10. Snow

    February 14th, 2010 at 4:19 pm

    I just got the same ad, the one with the full name and such. This time it was a full-on flash ad that turned my cursor into a pen.

    Why is the Internet overrun with this stuff?

  11. Virgin Gary

    February 14th, 2010 at 8:24 pm

    gwai lo – i believe you mean “moustachioed.” not trying to be anal, just wanted to bring some attention to the word “moustachioed,” surely one of the better words in the english language.

  12. dan

    March 25th, 2010 at 1:13 pm

    got a new one for ya.
    http://www.sportressofblogitude.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/pissed-off-old-man-3.jpg

  13. ru kiddin

    June 24th, 2010 at 6:00 pm

    guys. i can hook you up with the REAL harold a swan. i know his whole family

  14. Vern

    June 24th, 2010 at 6:41 pm

    All right, let’s meet him. Where is he?

  15. Gwai Lo

    June 25th, 2010 at 5:15 pm

    ru kiddin – please, enough with the suspense. You can’t just offer up Bearded Harold and then not deliver man, come on!

  16. mattio

    July 17th, 2010 at 11:42 pm

    Sometime between the time you posted your article on Harold and today, I saw a web ad that was a lot like the one that featured Harold (it even advertised car insurance), only the man in this new web ad looked even crazier. That very same day I read an article about a man who blew up in flames after being tazered by police (he had been huffing gasoline or something). It was the same dude in the web ad. Somebody actually took a mug shot of an insane man and used it to advertise car insurance.

    I only saw the web ad once. I don’t visit many web sites that have web marketing, but I seriously was looking for that web ad for a long time. I’ve since given up, but I know that it happened.

    If you want to see the crazy man for yourself, simply type : Daniel Wood Tazer in the google search bar, hit enter and then go to the images section and Daniel Woods insane picture will be the first image that shows up.

  17. mattio

    July 17th, 2010 at 11:49 pm

    http://resources2.news.com.au/images/2009/08/26/1225766/217570-dt-daniel-wood.jpg

    Here is the dude.

    If anyone knows how to access the web ad with Daniel Woods insane mug shot, please reply here and tell me.

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