"CATCH YOU FUCKERS AT A BAD TIME?"

2010

bronson-toastI read somewhere that there’s a movement and websights trying to make sure people pronounce it “twenty ten” and not “two thousand ten” since it will save you ONE GOD DAMN SYLLABLE, and God knows how many crucial twitterings and texts we could spend those extra milliseconds on if we would just call it”twenty ten” every time. I mean, in retrospect maybe if we had been saying “twenty one” instead of “two thousand one” for that whole year maybe we would’ve had time to look into that intelligence briefing about Osama bin Laden determined to carry out attacks inside the United States.

Sorry, I don’t buy it. In protest I will only and always refer to this year by its full Christian name, TWO THOUSAND AND TEN, THE YEAR WE MAKE CONTACT.

Happy New Year everybody.

This entry was posted on Friday, January 1st, 2010 at 1:42 am and is filed under Blog Post (short for weblog). You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.

34 Responses to “2010”

  1. For hours now, I’ve been informing folks something to the effect that, this year, we here individuals, we shall make contact.

    They didn’t listen.

    Which is why it’s a quarter to four and I’m rocking out to Chicago’s “Hard to Say I’m Sorry,” and thinking, lace panties aside, it’s time for Cheers reruns.

    It is always time for Cheers reruns.

    Happy new year, bitches.

    I love this planet.

  2. Vern, you should review Peter Hyams’ 2010. Decent sci-fi adventure picture. I mean go for it dude. It would be appropriate.

  3. READ THIS Y’ALL, SERIOUSLY:

    #
    Highest Rated

    * Children of Men 18 votes, average: 5.00 out of 518 votes, average: 5.00 out of 518 votes, average: 5.00 out of 518 votes, average: 5.00 out of 518 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5 (5.00 out of 5)
    * A.I. 7 votes, average: 5.00 out of 57 votes, average: 5.00 out of 57 votes, average: 5.00 out of 57 votes, average: 5.00 out of 57 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5 (5.00 out of 5)
    * No Country for Old Men 6 votes, average: 5.00 out of 56 votes, average: 5.00 out of 56 votes, average: 5.00 out of 56 votes, average: 5.00 out of 56 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5 (5.00 out of 5)
    * Aliens 5 votes, average: 5.00 out of 55 votes, average: 5.00 out of 55 votes, average: 5.00 out of 55 votes, average: 5.00 out of 55 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5 (5.00 out of 5)
    * Thick As Thieves 5 votes, average: 5.00 out of 55 votes, average: 5.00 out of 55 votes, average: 5.00 out of 55 votes, average: 5.00 out of 55 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5 (5.00 out of 5)
    * Soul Man 5 votes, average: 5.00 out of 55 votes, average: 5.00 out of 55 votes, average: 5.00 out of 55 votes, average: 5.00 out of 55 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5 (5.00 out of 5)
    * My Review of The Steven Seagal Blues Band at the Tractor Tavern in Seattle 4 votes, average: 5.00 out of 54 votes, average: 5.00 out of 54 votes, average: 5.00 out of 54 votes, average: 5.00 out of 54 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5 (5.00 out of 5)
    * The Happening 3 votes, average: 5.00 out of 53 votes, average: 5.00 out of 53 votes, average: 5.00 out of 53 votes, average: 5.00 out of 53 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5 (5.00 out of 5)
    * Enchanted 3 votes, average: 5.00 out of 53 votes, average: 5.00 out of 53 votes, average: 5.00 out of 53 votes, average: 5.00 out of 53 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5 (5.00 out of 5)
    * Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer 3 votes, average: 5.00 out of 53 votes, average: 5.00 out of 53 votes, average: 5.00 out of 53 votes, average: 5.00 out of 53 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5 (5.00 out of 5)

    Basically, everything Vern does is 5 out of 5.

    We should all be so lucky.

  4. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4nNnk9eDDnw&feature=related

    CHARLENE.

    Girl knows how to do it.

    S’rsly.

  5. Happy New Year, people on a site I just started commenting on about twelve hours ago.

    Nice to meet you all.

  6. You think that link above to CHARLENE! is a joke. It is not. You follow that link. You listen. You grok.

  7. who you calling a grok, CRACKER?

  8. Decided weeks ago to call it “o ten.” So sayeth, the Ancient Romans.

  9. Happy new year Vern. Keep cranking out the reviews because I love to read them. Especially when I’m bored at work!

    If you haven’t reviewed 3000 Miles To Graceland, now is the time. It’s a so bad it’s good kind of flick.

  10. I’m keeping it simple and just calling it 10. Because me and 10 are boys like that.

  11. That’s what I’ve been calling it for a while now. And bless you sir for the image of Charles Bronson in the post. I can’t think of a more optimistic and appropriate image to start the new year.

  12. I , too , hope we will make contact this year .Happy New Year , you guys , and , man , I’ve got a Godzilla size headache.

  13. Jareth Cutestory

    January 1st, 2010 at 8:57 am

    I got invited to a video marathon today. The movies will be (in order of presentation): YEAR ONE, 1941, 2001, 2010 and then, apparently, the whole crew is going to look for a theater that is still playing 2012. I declined to participate, although I appreciate the symmetry of this marathon beginning and ending with comedies.

    Apparently the film 1919 was going to be in the marathon, but since most of it is set in 1984, no one could decide where to place it in the running order.

    1492: CONQUEST OF PARADISE was dropped because no one could understand what Gerard Depardieu was saying.

    Also, the film 1408 was going to be shown until someone realized that the title isn’t a year but the number of a hotel room. Obviously this marathon was put together by nitwits.

    As for controversy surrounding the naming of this particular year we are now living in: hell, I’m still writing 2007 on my cheques. Get back to me in three years when I’m ready to accept that the first decade of the millennium is over and that MEMENTO is already ten years old.

  14. Five more years until hoverboards!
    I want to know what we call this decade though? “The teens” isn’t accurate because the first three years don’t have that suffix. “The tens” or “twenty tens” doesn’t feel right to me.

  15. If you live for today, like me, you won’t have to worry about what to call a particular decade.

    Life’s to short, man. Live in the now!

    Oh… Happy New Years fellas. You guys rule.

  16. I dunno man, I like twenty ten. It sounds more futuristic. Let’s hope this decade is better than the last one as far as world news events go. Last decade kinda sucked.

  17. I’m finally done looking for the WMDs, Mr. Vern, and now I promise to devote much more energy to getting ObL/UbL and its ilk. Intel drives maneuver, of course, but you’ve inspired me to move farther & faster, doing my manly best to dominate those who almost ruined the last decade. Happy fucking New Year.

  18. I’m trying to start “the decas”.

  19. (dek-ahhs)

  20. Happy New Year everybody! I hardly ever get around to commenting with something worthwhile (like most of you…*rimshot*), but I’ll be around, that’s for damn sure. The only movie review site I need to read…good work, Vern et al.

    So grease the chainsaw and load the gun, 2010 will bring buckets of fun!

  21. Sorry V I like Twenty-Ten. I think Phil Dick would like it too. And if we aren’t living to satiate a dead science fiction author then what the hells the point?

    Don’t care what you want to call it, happy new year. Say that shit however God wants you to Vern.

  22. Happy new year Vern and all those who comment in this little corner of the web. I like the image of Bronson up there. It seems somehow… galvanizing. It’s gonna be a good year.

  23. Oh and Vern, no time will be saved during twittering or texting or emails or whatever. Doesn’t matter how you pronounce it out loud, its always going to look like 2010 on paper. Or screen.

  24. jsix – but the time you save from pronouncing it faster can be used for important things like tweetering that you just ate a sandwich or whatever. But you’ll probly call it a “wich” I guess.

  25. Bernardo Bertolucci

    January 1st, 2010 at 5:51 pm

    Hey, Jareth Cutestory – your friends forgot ‘1900’, by me. Hope they don’t mind adding 5-1/2 hours to their marathon.

  26. caruso_stalker217

    January 1st, 2010 at 6:11 pm

    I like the sound of “twenty-ten.” I mean we wouldn’t say “one thousand nine hundred ten.” It’s nineteen-ten. So the progression to twenty is quite natural. Let’s forget all this two thousand bullshit that made this decade so difficult. In twenty years we’ll all be saying shit like “back in ’09” anyway. I think I’m going to like living in the teens.

    I wonder what people used to call the first decade of the new century? I mean when the nineteen hundreds rolled around, what did they call that decade? Did they have the same problems defining it as they do now? “The 2000’s” just doesn’t sound accurate.

  27. Happy New Year Vern and to all the frequent visitors of this site. This has really become my favorite place on the Internet. That picture of Charles Bronson is great.

  28. HAPPY REST OF TWO THOUSAND AND TEN, everybody!

    Vern, this being the internet and all, any chance of doing a “best of the decade”-type thing? I’d like to see what I’ve missed and also throw my own opinions out there.

  29. Vern

    hey man, you’re the one that has/had a twitter account not me…

    now thats telling it like it is

    or TILII?

  30. THE 2010: PORT OF CALL NEW ORLEANS.

    I’m still puzzling over what to call this past decade for short. The aughts? The naughts? The naughties? Radio stations–assuming conventional ones exist by the end of this decade–are going to have to figure this out, like, today. “Playing your favorite hits from the ’70s, ’80s, ’90s, and…” Ha! They can’t say “today” anymore, cause it ain’t!

    Also, Jareth, any video marathon with a theme like that that omits Michael Radford’s excellent cinematic adaptation of 1984 isn’t worth its weight in attendance. John Hurt having a cage of rats strapped to his face: now THERE’S a nice sorbet to cleanse the palate before a Kubrick epic! (Thanks for making me feel old with that observation about MEMENTO, though. Making me feel older: realizing that FIGHT CLUB is now MORE than ten years old.)

    Anyway, Vern, thanks for making whatever this decade is called a hell of a lot more meaningful for me, cinematically. I’m still ready to give you credit for being the first to know about CHILDREN OF MEN (you were the first to write about it that I knew of), and talk about a hot tip! That’s definitely on my top ten for the decade end, probably in one of the top three spots. Also, your scoop on the whole SNAKES ON A PLANE phenomenon/fiasco. What I’m getting at here is that, even leaving SEAGALOGY and FIVE ON THE OUTSIDE aside, this has been a great decade for you, cap’n. I hope you’ve felt as good about the past ten years in writing as I assume you have. Good job. Spend that Excellence wisely.

  31. Jareth Cutestory

    January 1st, 2010 at 9:59 pm

    jsixfingers: Wasn’t Tillii the girl who wore roller skates on THE FACTS OF LIFE?

    Mr. Bertolucci: Your opus was apparently going to be in the marathon, but was voted down in favor of YEAR ONE. It’s a sad day when de Niro, Sutherland and Lancaster are voted down in favor of Michael Cera and Jack Black. What can I tell you? These kids today are nuts.

    Apparently they were also going to put in Wong Kar-wai’s 2046, but got all bogged down on the issue of it being a sequel to a non-number movie.

  32. Mattman: What can I say? My friends are idiots.

    Richard Burton was great in the version of 1984. And I love how the director decided to play that Eurythmics song over a blank screen, as if he didn’t want to ruin his movie with such a trite little song.

  33. Happy Year To Make Contact, y’all!

  34. Fuck everyone else.

    I’ve been calling this year “Aught-Ten”, and I’ll continue to do so.

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