I was close

I saw this movie a couple weeks ago, I thought it was pretty funny for what it is. I am, of course, a huge fan of The Onion.

Was Broken Lizard involved in writing this? I could swear one of the dudes from Supertroopers is an Onion exec in the flick.

I love The Onion but I know someone who works there and even he thought it was bad.

nuff said, close thread

The Onion is one of the few bright shining spots on the internet. Also, their podcosts are outstanding. Their video podcasts are spot on authentic, except for the content, indistinguishable just by viewing from real news broadcasts. If I get 3 or 4 good laughs and a handful of chuckles out of this flick, I’ll be satisfied. Movies like AMAZON WOMEN ON THE MOON, KENTUCKY FRIED MOVIE, and THE GROOVE TUBE are always hit and miss throughout, but usually good mindless entertainment.

Havanegila!

after 9/11 when they turned themselves into a left-wing/”Daily Show” style outlet. I used to read the Onion 10-12 years ago when it was mostly just absurdist comedy (and a lot funnier). Also, the “AV Club” writers are extremely pretentious and annoying.

Damn.

Damn You Michael Bay

Maybe it’s because, after 9/11, the right-wingers became so absurd.<p> Ooooh, let’s see if we can turn this into yet another political talkback.

That review just about killed me. “Your move, ass.” Classic. Fucking classic.

Have you seen Seagal’s Orange commercial? Well, of course you have. Pretty funny.

His cameo in Trading Places was legendary! “Burnt my fingers, man!”

Yup.

Worth a rent. I don’t smoke up (or “smoke-out” or however it goes) but I bet it’s a hell of a lot funnier stoned. I wish I had been drinking when I watched. Nope I was sober and I don’t think the filmmakers were and that’s the problem. Gotta be on the same level.

. . . I laughed out loud at Vern’s description of the “Armed Gunman” bit.

seemed like most of their office was pretty embarrassed by how this turned out.

I couldn’t believe how forced and amateurish it seemed. It actually made me lose a little respect for The Onion. They can do so much better.

pacman jones- “who does i have to kill to get reinstated into the nfl”

I mean, what are we supposed to infer from “peels?”

The Armed Gunman skit would have been funnier with a better director.

Nor The Daily Colbert Report Show. I just don’t find any of that funny anymore. Its just boring now. And since 99% of it is just LOOK BUSH SUCKS! Its just lame and all of it is overly pretentious. I never understood its mass appeal. Its like for people who enjoy comedy but consider themselves too good for dick and fart jokes. Especially since Stewart used to be a huge stoner, now he’s someone even mom likes. <P> As for Seagal, after trying his energry drink, I’ve just been left with a bad taste in my mouth. And isn’t this movie just the Half Hour News Show on Fox News?

Is he in there?

Horrifying. Truly horrifying.

Let’s Get Some Shoes, betch…

I don’t read/view any of those things on a daily basis, but seriously, you think 99% is just “LOOK BUSH SUCKS!”? Do they even talk about that prick anymore? I don’t even see him on the real news that much. Well, if it helps I don’t believe Bush is in this movie at all. You said that you prefer fart and dick jokes, there are not fart jokes but of course the dick comes up alot with the whole COCK PUNCHER deal. So I recommend this movie to you.<p>

One thing I meant to mention: I saw an ad on TV for MEET THE SPARTANS and at the end they tagged on a little “also, THE ONION MOVIE!” So everyone out there who is involved in some sort of highly successful endeavor, just think of that ad as a possible outcome when you are about to start adapting whatever it is you do into a motion picture.

“In the intervening years he has not specifically dealt with punching the cock but he has certainly escalated his War On Balls”

you a funny man.

seriously, magnificent review – this is why mainstream media film reviewers are dying on the vine!

You’re shitting us, right?

The Gillette Fusion Power razor has 5 count’em 5 blades. And probably runs on gasoline

Well if it’s not 99% Bush sucks anymore thats probably because I haven’t looked into those things for a while. Its not that dick and fart jokes are my favorite, its just that half the stuff on the Daily/Onion/Report are just as juvenile, but the people I know who read the Onion religiously or watch Show/Report every day act like they are too good for Dick and fart jokes. Plus I just hate how all these outlets do is try to raise awarness and pretty much point the finger and laugh, but never really do any good. They could use their outlets to do so much more, instead they like to sit around and think about how witty they are. I mean when Colbert was trying to run for President in South Carolina or whatever, it was retarded and sad. But it made front page news in South Carolina. All in all, it just not my type of comedy (I am sure the Onion movie is pretty juvenile though) and I’d rather see these talented comedians do something more interesting then just political humor, but then again it is easier then creating something original.

what the fuck does a disposable razor need batteries for? And if a razor can’t shave me well enough with two blades, then fuckit

but i think they are probably better sticking to spoofing print media and video shorts. these two are HILARIOUS: http://tinyurl.com/6b86ar, http://tinyurl.com/5qplha.

I figured this would suck though.

…the funny Mountain Dew commercials where Mr. Seagal unknowingly (?) beats up some punks in a convenience store. Good comedy or bad? Or is this covered in the book (which I intend to buy anyways)?

I tried one once, and all it did was make my hand numb from the vibration. How does that help? (I know there’s some sort of ribald joke in there, but I’m too tired to figure it out…)

Really, I do like it. I wanted to try it because I want to try everything new, but it really does work well.

Great Review as always Vern. I’ve been watching this develop for a while. <p>

When my parents brought me to college in Madison there was an “Onion” front page story about Bush Sr. having a huge erection at a U.N. speech complete with pictures. My parents bought it hook line and sinker. I’ve been reading it ever since.<p>

BTW, for some of you posters, you can thank “The Onion” for “The Daily Show”. Writers for that show got their start at “The Onion”.

They are breaking street date!

That piece of news about the guy accidently shutting down the Internet is hilarious.

one night many years ago and watched a skit they did about a new razor. It had 27 blades and worked like a cheese grater for the face.

…or Colbert Report should do something real to create change instead of making jokes, I quote Jon Stewart’s response to Tucker Carlson when asked why Stewart didn’t ask John Kerry any tough questions: <p> “Our lead-in show is a bunch of puppets making crank calls. I don’t think CNN should be taking its cues from a comedy show”…or something to that effect. <p> Its parody. They parody whatever is topical currently or whichever administration is in power, and since that has been the Bush administration for the last 8 years, that would be a valid subject to lampoon. I’m guessing its only a matter of time before some Americans suggest changing to the name of “onions” in the supermarket, to “freedoms”.

They’re herbs. Someone named “Vern” should know that. I mean, that is a farmer’s name, right?

I think this style of film is pretty much dead. The Onion is funny, and their Onion News Network is pretty damn funny at times, but stretching it out to movie-length might be painful.

So it makes sense the movie would do the same, but more suck.

The Mountain Dew commercial is mildly amusing. I don’t know, the “celebrity who is normally serious being funny” thing is kind of cheap. I would rather see him be serious and if the movie is one of his more absurd ones it’s gonna be funnier than the Mountain Dew commercial anyway. But I got nothing against it, I laughed a little when it first came on.

Whats the point!? A single double edged razor does the job just fine, better actually. It’s like we’re still living in the age of magic cure all tonics!

Lame, unfocused, unfunny, full of mugging, ugh. I went from looking forward to it every night to not caring if I miss it. There’s bigger laughs (and sharper satire) in the first three minutes of The Colbert Report, which is consistently hilarious (and in its prime). To dismiss either one as “90% saying Bush sucks” is absurd. As for The Onion, its still funny, but I’ll pass on the movie.

sometime around here recently. Fucking ignoramouses, this isn’t your fucking 4chan or where ever the hell you came from, we’ve got a code of honor to our assholery here. It’s a small almost negligible one but we’ve got it. Yes, Vern uses a geocities website. Yes he likes Steven Seagal, and yes his name is “vern.” Yeah, we all think it’s REAL clever and original when you insult him on these matters, because everyone who posts reviews here should only talk about the exact same shit in the exact same way. Get with the program you fucking dipshits.

They should continue the theme. I am sure Ellis and at least one of the agent Johnsons are available…

i saw clips from the movie….wow! reminded me of that underground comedy movie.it wanted to be funny but for the most part wasn’t. one of my fave onion posts was about the spiking prices of vowels on wheel of fortune because they know the contestants really need them and they can price gouge. very original there.i used to love the onion clips played on the howard stern show back in the terrestrial radio days too

I own all of Seagal’s other movies, including Clementine, so I don’t want my collection to be incomplete.

Not Necessarily the News. Everything else is a pretender to the throne! The ORIGINAL HBO original series.

years ago. It’s the trufth!<p>

Ask Smoove B.

very fnny movie! just like kentucky fried movie or amazon women on the moon.

I would compare it to “Amazon Women on the Moon” except that it is only 1/3 as good. The whole thing about the role playing dude is awful. The movie drags at points and every now and then is as bad as “Meet the Spartans.” Though, it also has moments where it is “Amazon” good.

Or are they going to skip right to a franchise mash-up like Hee-Haw Versus Blue Collar Comedy Tour: Requiem, or something.

Yep, I’m gonna call my band Cock Puncher.

A parody classic! Was this directed by John Landis? I’m too lazy to check IMDB.

My hard drive died shortly afterwards.

I think it can only help when a tough guy shows that he can laugh about himself, so I dug those Dew ads. Anyway, great review, as usual.

or maybe its just the sort of thing Monty Python would have done, but didn’t actually do.

Make that movie now, Steven Segal!! Also, the Armed Gunman sketch appealed to me a lot. But I also found Pootie Tang hilarious, so maybe it’s just me. The films a bit more hit/miss than the t’internet Onion skits, but then they only last a few seconds. For fans wanting a Brass Eye/Kentucky Fried Movie hybrid. Who also like the Onion. And aren’t fussy.

i think it as made by the onion editor in like 97 or 99. so fucking funny.

That Gilette article actually reminds me of a funny MadtTv skit where some company comes out with the Mach 27 Shaving Razor and everyone in the commercial ends up looking like the invisible man after they use it. <p> Ah yes, the 90s… (wistfully rubs with indexy finger and thumb chin)

but sometimes I do rub my with indexy finger and thumb chin (Im typing from Chernobyl obviously)

the one they published after Jenna Bush’s drunken frat party escapades:

“Jenna Bush’s Federally-Protected Wetlands Now Open For Drilling”

The second-best on is no longer available in the archives either, as near as I can tell. Self-explanatory if you’re a true geek:

“Bill Gates Grants Self 18 Dexterity, 20 Charisma”

The Onion deserve immortal status for those headline alone.

Just because no one else has said it yet. At least in the headlines.

if you don’t laugh at the Onion, or the Daily Show/Colbert Show, I feel truly sorry for you. what on earth DO you laugh at? Autopsy videos?

Only Competent Worker

tee hee

Where is gothamnight?

If the movie were half as clever it’d be a classic.

I loved The Onion… haven’t been there in a while, though I saw where Kornfeld bought it and I was bummed. That guy kept it real, fo shizzle.

Kentucky Fried Movie, Amazon Women On The Moon,<p>Several of the early Firesign Theatre albums. Proctor and Bergman’s “TV Or Not TV” LP was a day in the life of a TV station from sign-on to sermonette; practically the prototype for SCTV.

Where typos and flubs can’t be fixed once they’re posted? Or is “websight” supposed to be a joke?

Someone referred to “Not Necessarily The News” as “the original HBO series”. I’m not sure what was meant by that so I won’t try to contradict or correct it. Was it HBO’s first non-movie ongoing series? it wasn’t TV’s first news parody program – there was “That Was The Week That Was” in the ’60s, for example. And I don’t believe it was AN HBO original series. well, that version was, but I seem to recall it was a remake of a British series called “Not Necessarily The Six O’Clock News”. “Not Necessarily The News” was pretty funny, though, and I thought Lucy webb was sexy.

I just don’t find people mugging at their own wittiness to be funny. See some of those shows Napoleon Park I think are funny like Not the Nine O’clock news. I mean I can see where they are funny, but the same shit day in and day out, I prefer to watch Letterman/Kimmel/Conan instead. Plus every co-anchor on the Daily Show is funnier then Jon, maybe if Rob Riggle ran the show…

I’d rather see “The Darwin Awards: The Movie”. Jackass was pretty close to that tho… too bad they didn’t finish the job.

a picture of anna nicole smith’s freshly filled grave.<P><P>the headline reads:<P>Anna Nicole Smith finally reaches goal weight.

Damn You, Damn You Michael Bay Guy…

I am dying to mention to somebody that SHO KOSUGI is in the upcoming Wachowski production NINJA ASSASSIN. That’s right, the guy who is in all those NINJA movies is in a new movie with the word NINJA in the title. This was mentioned in a press release/plot summary thing but I haven’t seen anybody make a big deal out of it or seem to notice. So here I am, making a big deal out of it and noticing it.

And the audience laughs like stoned hyenas. It’s not funny, kids.

I saw it, it was funny, some skits bomb others are excellent. the terrorist thing was really funy, in heaven you’ll get pussy, 35 u.s. dollars and a bag of pot, sweet!

So true. All he does is read some head line or news story and then just looks bewildered, I don’t need some self rightious former stoner turned family friendly comedian telling me people do dumb things. And all Colbert does is read something and then yells how good he is. The funniest things about Colbert is that he makes his guest sit down and he walks to them (thats a new level of arrogance) and the bit he does every night that he stole from Weekend Update… The Word.

‘Revenge of the Ninja’ is fantastic. Still got the theatrical poster hanging in my house. Nice.

That is fucking awesome Vern! Thanks for the heads-up.

I’m pretty sure you don’t understand the premise of the Colbert Report. It is also clear that you are not very familiar with either of these shows.<p> It’s cool man, I don’t think you would like them anyway, let’s just move on. There are many things I don’t understand the popularity of either. But Sho Kosugi is not one of them. Welcome back Sho Kosugi.

Sitting in class in Van Hise, having the instructor tell us to put away The Onion during class.<p>

The day the new Onion paper came out was always a day to be looked forward to in Madison (BS ’94). The “real” newsrag (Badger Herald) never actually disrupted class like The Onion did, snickers and laughs from the back of lecture hall as you ignored the lecture and read the paper…<p>

Ah….memories<p>

Still haven’t been to the Kohl Center ( I helped build w/ tuition) in the 10 years it has been up. I hear it is the best venue in the Big Ten.

Was a part of the Kentucky Fried Movie…if memory serves

Our Dumb World<p>

The Onion Atlas of the World <p>

I still haven’t finished reading it, but so far, the laughs are plenty.

No I get the point of the Colbert report. I just don’t find it that funny. Different strokes for different folks. Its just when it comes to politics and stuff I feel like more radical things need to happen for anything to ever change. Things like Colbert/Daily/Onion just almost make it seem ok, because at the end of the day we can always just laugh at it. And the word is just a shorted version of weekend update, except instead of pictures its words, its the same gag, just Colbert sometimes stays with a topic more then one joke. <P> As for Jon, I don’t know much about how he got his start on MTV and all, but I caught an old Howard Stern TV interview of him and he was baked pretty hard and very just mellow and doopey. Now he’s some high strung schmuck.

Why??? He is a horrible actor and from a few reports kind of a prick to work with.

ever call wah wah guitar a “crutch” again dammit. Carry on.

if you say that Colbert is “chuckling at his own witiness” or whatever…that is ridiculous. of COURSE he’s doing that, he’s mocking people who ACTUALLY do that.<p>I mean, you sound smart enough to get that, but if so, how on earth can you not get it? it’s a conundrum.<p>the Late Show funnier than daily show/colbert? I love letterman an all, but the Colbert report is pure chuckles, non-stop.

… is the sketch at the end of Kentucky Fried Movie. That plus Catholic High School Girls in Trouble … They don’t make sketch comedy like that anymore …

I idolized him as a kid. Welcome back, indeed. Thanks, Vern.

We get it, you don’t like the Daily Show. What the fuck does that have to do with the Onion? What exactly is liberal about “Anthropomorphic Juice Pitcher Among Dead in Jonestown Cult Suicide,” or “US Troops Pull Out Of Vietnamese Peasant Girl” or “Kitten Thinks of Nothing But Murder All Day?” I have this weeks Onion right here (because we still get a paper copy here in Milwaukee) and the main headline is making fun of Obama. Get over yourself and stop criticizing something you admit you don’t even read.

Looking at his IMDB listing, I have to say that “Rage of Honor” is a cool-ass title for a movie.

I actually thought The Daily Show was funny when Craig Kilborn was the host.

I think the Family Guy skit pretty much sums up why I don’t like the Onion. The one where Brian calls Stewey out for quoting something from the Onion. I guess you could say I dislike the people that read the Onion and act like its the end all what ever its late I’ve been up since 7 two job day. Don’t care anymore you win all political comedy news sources are comedy at its peak.

Colbert and I share the same birth city. Though for the longest time I thought he was a kanuck (i could have swore it said that on IMDB) and could not understand why he had an American political news show. Then I heard he was from the great state of Washington D.C. It wasn’t until reading one of the free 13 weeks of the The Post and Courier the ole Piggly Wiggly thought they should buy me some time second half of last year that I find out the Colbster is actually a Charles Town native. And I still couldn’t muster up the courage to actively engage in his comedy.

Family Guy is one of those things I can’t understand the popularity of. So let us be content in knowing that you hate a thing I sometimes watch and I hate a thing you sometimes quote.<p>

In summary, THE ONION MOVIE is pretty bad but surprisingly good in parts, Sho Kosugi will be making a triumphant return to the big screen after an absence of about 15 years, and some guy wants to know why there is a book about Steven Seagal. Well hst666 if you got a better idea what I should write a book about I will travel back in time and write that book instead. Just because you asked so nicely.

Like I was thinking about my problem with all these silly political outlets and why they pissed me off so much, and I realized that I was just going to come off like that stupid Fred Armisen SNL character who is so fed up about the news he can’t get a complete competent thought out. I realized that it was going to be pointless to try to argue because I couldn’t voice what makes me so mad. So I’ll agree to disagree.