Archive for the ‘Horror’ Category
Wednesday, November 5th, 2025
The last time I saw Guillermo del Toro’s debut CRONOS (1992) must’ve been more than thirty years ago. I know I was aware of it before he came out with MIMIC, but I can’t remember if I rented it before or after. So it would’ve been the late ‘90s or earlier. (Only ‘90s kids know CRONOS.)
It’s funny that there’s a movie I like about getting old and it has now gotten old along with me. Del Toro was still in his twenties, making a movie about old men trying to stop aging. I’m not grandpa-aged yet but I’m gonna say he guessed pretty good. At 50 I relate a little bit to this guy getting fucked up about age.
Of course one of the things that’s changed since 1992 is that del Toro has become an institution, a name brand, a celebrity, a best picture, director and animated feature winner. Back then was an obscure makeup artist and director of short films and television, making an impressive feature debut, but only released in 28 theaters in the U.S. When I think about it I could easily picture del Toro having some super low budget calling card movie, like an EL MARIACHI, an ERASERHEAD or an EVIL DEAD. Wouldn’t have to necessarilly start with ‘E,” but it would show the seeds of what he’d become while having its own crude beauty. No, this is more like BLOOD SIMPLE for the Coen Brothers – he seems almost fully formed. He’d quickly get more extravagant with the effects and the sets, but this doesn’t seem DIY in the slightest. It has scope to it, it has style, it has most of his obsessions. A dark-fairy-tale-meets-monster-movie tone, a mystical antique, a weird insect, an innocent little girl, a part for Ron Perlman. No Spanish Civil War yet, but the backstory does invoke the Inquisition. (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: alchemy, Christmas horror, Claudio Brook, debut features, Federico Luppi, Guillermo Del Toro, Jorge Martinez de Hoyos, Margarita Isabel, New Year's Eve, Ron Perlman, vampires
Posted in Reviews, Horror | 3 Comments »
Friday, October 31st, 2025
There was a time when I was 14 years old and Clive Barker’s NIGHTBREED was my favorite movie. Maybe that was too soon to move on from BATMAN, or maybe they were both my favorite movie. They blew my brain open in a similar way, and come to think of it they have more in common than just baroque, enthralling music by Danny Elfman (his ninth and tenth film scores). Both are ambitious early films from idiosyncratic directors who are also visual artists, who are breaking into a larger budget range than their previous work but getting even wilder than before. Both are arguably a little stiff with the traditional action expected of a blockbuster, but it doesn’t even register much because they’re so overflowing with visual imagination and invention that they create their own, very specific worlds. And though both were intended as mainstream event movies, at their heart they’re by, for, and about misfits and weirdos.
NIGHTBREED, unfortunately, was treated like a misfit and weirdo itself. It was produced by Morgan Creek (YOUNG GUNS, ROBIN HOOD: PRINCE OF THIEVES) and distributed by 20th Century Fox (whose other releases that year included DIE HARD 2, PREDATOR 2 and HOME ALONE), but they didn’t know what to do with it. Barker was forced to make compromises that were drastic, though not catastrophic in my opinion (or I would never have loved it so much). Other than changing from the book’s title Cabal (I agree with that), they really didn’t know how to market it to the normies, though they did okay with nerds. I still cling dearly to autographed comic books and a “Nightbreed Chronicles” paperback with portraits and bios of the movie’s Star-Wars-esque collection of background creatures. Though a triumph in the minds of myself and my best friend at the time, it was a financial flop and novelist turned director Barker never even wrote the next book in the proposed trilogy. (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: Anne Bobby, Clive Barker, Craig Sheffer, Danny Elfman, David Cronenberg, Doug Bradley, Hugh Quarshie, John Agar, Oliver Parker
Posted in Reviews, Fantasy/Swords, Horror, Monster | 12 Comments »
Monday, October 27th, 2025
When IT CHAPTER TWO came out six years ago I heard that it was really bad (a subjective opinion) and two hours and fifty minutes long (a verifiable measurement). The “bad” part isn’t really a dealbreaker for a courageous viewer like yours truly, but combined with the length it was intimidating. Still, I intended to see it because I’m a horror fan and a merciful soul (I didn’t even hate director Andy Muschietti’s followup THE FLASH) and I promised friends I would see it so we could talk about it. But every October since it’s sat there on my list.
This month I watched a Sophia Lillis and a Finn Wolfhard and a couple Bill Skarsgårds and I decided it was time to stop running. It was time to go back home and face IT CHAPTER TWO. I’m not proud of it but my method was to watch it in three one-hour installments like a TV show. I know that’s not the way to watch an epic and I wouldn’t normally do it, but it finally got me through. (And the filmmakers probly figured out that was the best way to do it too, because they’re just starting a prequel TV series called Welcome to Derry.) (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: Andy Bean, Andy Muschietti, Bill Hader, Bill Skarsgard, Chosen Jacobs, clowns, Finn Wolfhard, Gary Dauberman, Isaiah Mustafa, Jack Dylan Grazer, Jaeden Martell, James McAvoy, James Ransone, Jeremy Ray Taylor, Jessica Chastain, Joan Gregson, Nicholas Hamilton, Peter Bogdanovich, Sophia Lillis, Stephen King, Taylor Frey, Teach Grant, Wyatt Oleff, Xavier Dolan
Posted in Reviews, Horror | 14 Comments »
Thursday, October 23rd, 2025
I saw that Shudder had a new movie from David Moreau, one of the directors of that 2006 French movie THEM (ILS). We all thought that one was scary at the time, I seem to remember. He had one last year called MADS that I’ve been intending to see but this OTHER stars Olga Kurylenko, and I enjoy her action works such as SENTINELLE, THE PRINCESS, HIGH HEAT and BOUDICA: QUEEN OF WAR, so I got right to it.
Let me tell you, this is a weird role for her, and a weird movie. Her character Alice returns to her childhood home after the death of her estranged mother. She spends much of the movie hanging out alone and pantsless in the house, smokes an old joint, gets nostalgic for her teenage years, also starts to hear weird noises like there’s an animal sneaking around, also is being spied on by a drone and hunting cameras, also is kind of a nut so she gets drunk and wanders in the woods wearing her Miss Teen USA gown. Eventually she’ll find out what that noise is and also be trapped in a bunker by a teen wearing a mask (Sacha Nugent) and also find out shocking secrets about her past and also by the way for many years someone or something in the area has been eating the faces of animals and people, including her mom. (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: David Moreau, Olga Kurylenko, Shudder
Posted in Reviews, Horror | 5 Comments »
Tuesday, October 21st, 2025
BRING HER BACK is this year’s release from Danny and Michael Philippou, the Australian twins “known for their horror comedy YouTube videos” according to Wikipedia, but I know them for the 2023 ghost movie TALK TO ME, which I enjoyed. The brothers both direct while Danny writes with Bill Hinzman (no, not the cemetery zombie from NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD – I looked it up, and he died in 2012). This is another impressive Philippou Brothers joint, more serious than the last, not much humor this time, but just the right level of bleakness for me.
It’s about a half brother and sister who are having a rough go of it. Piper (newcomer Sora Wong) is blind, but tries to go without her cane to fit in at school, which doesn’t work. Andy (Billy Barratt, “Street urchin,” MARY POPPINS RETURNS) is older, seems to have been a mess since the death of their mother, but he’s very loving and protective of Piper. Then they come home and find their dad dead in the shower. This may be a dumb thing to note but I think it’s important that he’s just laying there with his junk visible, because for all our lives most movies have lived in a world designed to avoid the sight of dicks. Seeing one here adds a blunt reality that makes the death more matter of fact, and more shocking. (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: A24, Australian cinema, Bill Hinzman, Billy Barratt, Danny Philippou, Michael Philippou, Sally Hawkins, Sora Wong
Posted in Reviews, Horror | 12 Comments »
Monday, October 20th, 2025
BLACK PHONE 2 is an interesting sequel, and not just because they dropped the ‘THE’ and streamlined the title, FAST & FURIOUS style. It’s also because it follows the somewhat forgotten slasher sequel tradition of having to invent some new mythology to continue a story that seemed pretty damn wrapped up last time. The first movie (based on a short story by Joe Hill) used the supernatural elements of ghosts and psychic dreams, but its villain was just a plain old mortal human who kidnaps kids in a particular suburb of Denver. And then he got killed. Can’t really redo that, so what they came up with feels fresh.
The protagonist of the first one was Finney (Mason Thames, HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON live action version), who gets abducted and locked in a basement by the Grabber (Ethan Hawke, EXPLORERS), and the titular telecommunications device allows him to speak to the ghosts of previous victims, so they pool what they know about the place their in and the Grabber’s activities, and together conceive an escape plan. Meanwhile his younger sister Gwen (Madeleine McGraw, AMERICAN SNIPER) is at home surviving their abusive alcoholic father (Jeremy Davies, DARK HARVEST) and having psychic dreams with clues that help her locate Finney.
For the sequel Finney is back, older and tougher, having taken over for the bullies who used to beat the shit out of him at school, and also partaking in quite a bit of weed. Thames has grown into such an authentic 1982 rocker dude face that I was a little thrown off by him wearing a Peter Gabriel t-shirt, but that’s okay. Finney avoids categorization. (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: Arianna Rivas, C. Robert Cargill, Demian Bichir, Ethan Hawke, Graham Abbey, James Ransome, Jeremy Davies, Joe Hill, Madeleine McGraw, Maev Beaty, Mason Thames, Scott Derrickson
Posted in Reviews, Horror | 6 Comments »
Friday, October 17th, 2025
THE HITCHER (2007) is a Platinum Dunes remake I had no interest in at the time. Robert Harmon’s 1986 cult classic obviously didn’t require a remake, and I didn’t trust those guys to do one. Also almost everybody said it was terrible. I do know of an exception – Jordan Crucchiola and Sam Wineman used to rave about it on their podcast Aughtsterion, and they got it to #1 on the “’00 Slashers” episode of Screen Drafts. They’re younger and much more attached to that era of horror than me, but their enthusiasm made me curious.
And I think they’re right! There’s a good chance I wouldn’t have liked it back then, when I had a grudge against Michael Bay productions and the original was more fresh on my mind. It’s certainly not a replacement, and some of it might’ve been lessened if I remembered the original better. But viewed on its own, as 2007 studio horror, it’s pretty impressive – a vicious 84 minute head on collision of a movie. (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: car horror, Dave Meyers, Eric Bernt, Eric Red, Jake Wade Wall, Kyle Davis, Neal McDonough, Platinum Dunes, remakes, Sean Bean, Sophia Bush, Steve Jablonsky, Zachary Knighton
Posted in Reviews, Horror, Thriller | 10 Comments »
Thursday, October 16th, 2025
I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER (2025) is pretty much what I was hoping for: a traditional/formulaic slasher movie, sometimes slightly more clever than expected, sometimes dumb enough to get some laughs. It has a solid cast of fresh faces, just the right amount of “legacy sequel” characters (more than cameos, less than leads), and a couple fun surprises that I guess people didn’t care enough about to spoil for me even though I missed this in theaters. Thank you! I had a good time watching it at home with friends and a box of Jason Voorhees sponsored cider.
Like HALLOWEEN and SCREAM and almost TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE before it this is not a remake but a sequel that inexplicably has the same title as the original. It does feature a new group of young people who do a new cover up of a new car accident, but when they receive a note saying “I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER” and start getting killed by somebody dressed as a fisherman holding a hook they recognize this as something that happened before and they go to original main characters Julie James (Jennifer Love Hewitt, CAN’T HARDLY WAIT) and Ray Bronson (Freddie Prinze Jr., WING COMMANDER) for advice.
In the trailer this seemed like a ridiculous concept – what advice could they really give? (Unless it’s “Turn yourself in.”) There’s definitely a certain amount of DIE HARD 2 “How can the same shit happen to the same guy twice?” knowing absurdity at play. But the idea is that the fishing town of Southport, North Carolina has been gentrified and turned into a highly profitable resort town, and in the process information about the 1997 murders was scrubbed from the internet to protect their reputation. So trying to learn more about the crimes is the group’s only lead for figuring out who would by copying them now. Okay, I’ll go with it. (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: Billy Campbell, Chase Sui Wonders, Freddie Prinze Jr., Jennifer Kaytin Robinson, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Jonah Hauer-King, Joshua Orpin, Leah McKendrick, legacy sequel, Lois Duncan, Madlyn Cline, Sam Lansky, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Sarah Pidgeon, slashers, Tyriq Withers
Posted in Reviews, Horror | 10 Comments »
Friday, October 10th, 2025
When I was writing about VILLAINS the other day I looked up its writing/directing team of Dan Berk & Robert Olsen, and realized I’d already seen 3/5 of their filmography (including BODY and STAKE LAND II). I’ve been meaning to get to their latest, NOVOCAINE, but I’m in horror mode this month, so I went for the other one remaining: SIGNIFICANT OTHER (2022). This one went straight to Paramount+ which, like so many parts of our society today, is now owned by a fascist billionaire currently buying up and destroying our institutions to try to make life shittier for everybody. So I understand if you want nothing to do with that service. But as far as the movie itself this is a good one, I think my favorite by this team.
It’s another one about a young couple, the lady once again played by Maika Monroe (INDEPENDENCE DAY: RESURGENCE), but it’s more like her usual downbeat characters, and it’s a much more serious movie. She plays Ruth, whose boyfriend Harry (Jake Lacy, CAROL, BEING THE RICARDOS) has convinced her to go on a hiking trip through a forest somewhere in Oregon. He doesn’t seem like a horrible monster or anything, but tends to dance around the line between charming and condescending, and he doesn’t seem very sensitive about how nervous she is. She’s a surfer girl, she didn’t grow up camping like he did, and she suffers from panic attacks. She intellectually understands that yes, going way out into nature with him should be safe, but that doesn’t mean she’s gonna be all relaxed about it. You gotta give her some leeway and understanding, dude. Jesus. (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: Dan Berk, Jake Lacy, Maika Monroe, Robert Olsen
Posted in Reviews, Horror, Science Fiction and Space Shit | 5 Comments »
Thursday, October 9th, 2025
VILLAINS is a 2019 indie movie I’ve wondered about for a while. It uses the reliable formula “somebody tries to rob a house and discovers a horrific thing going on there.” Other ones that come to mind are THE COLLECTOR, LIVID and DON’T BREATHE. This is a much jokier take on the format than any of those, more of a dark comedy than anything, but I’d say it’s at least horror adjacent. There are maniacs doing something crazy, it takes death seriously, it stars two perhaps underrecognized greats of contemporary horror… yeah, I’ll count it as horror.
It’s about a couple of addled deadbeats named Mickey (Pennywise/Orlok/The Crow himself Bill Skarsgård) and Jules (Maika Monroe, THE GUEST, IT FOLLOWS, WATCHER, LONGLEGS) who clumsily rob their last gas station, intending to use the money to move to Florida and start a new life selling seashells. Trouble is they run out of gas on a remote, wooded road. They are not criminal masterminds.
On foot they find a large, isolated house where no one seems to be home. They break in, hoping to steal the car in the garage or come up with some other escape plan. But they face a moral dilemma when they find a young silent girl (Blake Baumgartner, MADELINE’S MADELINE) chained up in the dark basement. (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: Bill Skarsgard, Black List, Dan Berk, Jeffrey Donovan, Kyra Sedgwick, Maika Monroe, Robert Olsen
Posted in Reviews, Comedy/Laffs, Crime, Horror | 5 Comments »
