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Posts Tagged ‘Michael Chiklis’

Fantastic Four (2005)

Thursday, July 10th, 2025

July 8, 2005

FANTASTIC FOUR is one of the more pure artifacts of its time that we’ve encountered in this retrospective so far. While BATMAN BEGINS was pushing forward and innovating new approaches to comic book movies, this represents a studio (20th Century Fox) following, formulating and second-guessing their way into a flavorless, impact-less nothing of a super hero adaptation.

SUMMER 2005My feelings haven’t changed on this one – I thought it was laughable at the time, which I believe was the general consensus. But it was a hit, had a sequel that was a hit, presumably has people who are fond of it, though I’ve never met them. I’d say this is a better example of a “no cultural footprint” movie than AVATAR ever was. It’s about to get its second reboot and I don’t hear anyone calling for a Jessica Alba cameo (though come to think of it that would be cool). (read the rest of this shit…)

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Posted in Reviews, Comic strips/Super heroes | 20 Comments »

Parker

Sunday, January 27th, 2013

tn_parkerstathamWell, yep. I’m afraid we saw this coming. Academy Award nominated director with unfortunately appropriate name Taylor Hackford’s adaptation of Richard Stark’s Parker book Flashfire is not very good.

Jason Statham plays Parker, the cold-hearted career criminal, professional problem solver and single-minded seeker of money. Or he’s supposed to be that character, anyway. He’s involved in a robbery but the other guys on the team want to use the loot as seed money for another heist, and he doesn’t want to. They shoot him and dump him in the water, but he survives and comes looking for them, planning to steal the proceeds from this other heist.

Michael Chiklis is Melander, the leader of the other heisters, who we don’t really get to know much about. Clifton Collins, Jr. is also on the crew, but I couldn’t name a single character trait for him other than Clifton Collins, Jr. looks a little older than last time I saw him in a movie. Parker wears a cowboy hat and pretends to be a Texas oilman so that he can look at mansions in Palm Beach and figure out where Melander and friends are hiding out. Jennifer Lopez plays Leslie, the real estate agent who shows him around, figures out that he’s not really Texan, and pushes her way into his scheme. (read the rest of this shit…)

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Posted in Crime, Reviews | 88 Comments »

Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer

Tuesday, November 13th, 2007

FANTASTIC 4 2: RISE OF THE SILVER SURFER 1

Man, I don’t know how this works, but somehow just putting a silver guy in a movie brings me in. When FANTASTIC 4 PART 1 came out I had no interest, but when they started advertising part 2 I thought, oh, who am I fooling? Nobody can resist a silver guy. So I rented part 1 to catch up. And I gotta say, as bad as I pictured that movie being, it was actually alot worse. Definitely in the lower tier of comic book movies, which puts it in the lowest tier of movies overall unless you include immoral material like child porn, snuff, crush videos or TRANSFORMERS.

Basically the first one is the story of four unappealing dorks who get in a space accident that gives them magical powers so they put on shiny blue scuba suits, make bad puns in a big cheesy laboratory set and fight some prick that shoots lightning. The makeup on “The Thing” looks stupid, the digital effects are surprisingly terrible for a big budget movie and any attempt at turning this ridiculous shit into actual drama or excitement is immediately undermined by the constant stream of groan inducing “jokes.” (read the rest of this shit…)

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Posted in Action, Comic strips/Super heroes, Reviews | 3 Comments »

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  • Recent commentary and jibber-jabber

    • Glaive Robber on Dark Water: “I honestly think this is a GREAT movie, and I can recall such wonderful memories of it even though it’s…” Jul 11, 20:37
    • Glaive Robber on Fantastic Four (2005): “I kinda buy the arc of the Fantastic Four maybe not wanting to be who they were in the 2005…” Jul 11, 20:17
    • Rozar Smacco on Fantastic Four (2005): “I’m somewhat in a state of disbelief that burningambulance squandered all credibility at the expense of 2005’s Fantastic Four. Claiming…” Jul 11, 20:01
    • Mr. Majestyk on Fantastic Four (2005): ““Everybody knows the Fantastic Four are fantastic. What this movie postulates is…what if they weren’t?”” Jul 11, 14:40
    • Mr. Majestyk on Dark Water: “I used to work in Long Island City across the street from the gas plant, which is a barren wasteland…” Jul 11, 14:31
    • renfield on Fantastic Four (2005): “What annoyed me about this, and also about the incomparably superior Spider Man 2, is the focus on the hero…” Jul 11, 14:22
    • VERN on Fantastic Four (2005): “Thanks PJ, I’m sure I saw that teaser at the time but I don’t remember it. Funny shit.” Jul 11, 13:46
    • emteem on M3gan 2.0: “Personally, I loved every stupid fucking moment of this fucking stupid movie. I really hope it makes enough at home…” Jul 11, 12:44
    • Aktion Figure on Fantastic Four (2005): “Oh, and the first thing that happens after Bruce is teleported to this office building? He falls down an elevator…” Jul 11, 09:07
    • Aktion Figure on Fantastic Four (2005): “Thanks for that PJ. I really, truly needed a sensible chuckle today. That was like the opening video of a…” Jul 11, 08:58
    • PJ Audenzia on Fantastic Four (2005): “Your account of the Debbie situation made me laugh a lot. A moment I really enjoy is when Ben, a…” Jul 11, 07:44
    • Steven E on Fantastic Four (2005): “Didn’t realise Hamish Linklater was in this – after Midnight Mass I actually thought he’d make a perfect Reed Richards…” Jul 11, 06:48
    • Bill Reed on Fantastic Four (2005): “Sorry, putting my comics nerd hat on: Yes, if you read them now, those ’60s Fantastic Four comics seem very…” Jul 11, 05:35
    • Birch on Fantastic Four (2005): “Slightly alarmed to see multiple people say Silver Surfer is better because, having not seen the first one, it is…” Jul 11, 00:39
    • MaggieMayPie on Fantastic Four (2005): “I’m not sure who, but someone involved here sure does hate women. Maybe that goes all the way back to…” Jul 10, 18:37

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