"CATCH YOU FUCKERS AT A BAD TIME?"

Christmas Evil

tn_christmasevilCHRISTMAS EVIL started life as YOU BETTER WATCH OUT, but according to writer/director Lewis Jackson, “some asshole who bootlegged the film changed the title card over and over and over again” and it got better known under the other name. I’m not sure which title I like better, they’re both pretty good. Whichever one you want to call it it’s kind of an alternate take on the SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT type of Santa-Claus-related-childhood-trauma-sends-troubled-man-on-homicidal-rampage-dressed-as-Santa story. Both use the MANIAC approach of following the slasher, not the slashees, so you get to understand him, maybe feel a little sorry for him, or maybe just think Jesus and be creeped out by him.

(Jesus is the guy’s birthday we’re celebrating here, by the way. I’m not using his name in vain, I’m trying to keep him in the conversation. Nobody dresses up as baby Jesus when they go on these Christmas horror rampages, I’ve noticed.)
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Blast of Silence

tn_blastofsilenceHere’s a movie I never heard of until Criterion released it a couple years ago. It’s a real raw, pulpy, hard boiled crime deal, low budget, filmed independently and released in 1961. It’s about a hitman from Cleveland coming into New York, staking out his target. Because it’s black and white and full of hard-nosed tough guy narration it makes you think of old noir movies, but because it was made in the ’60s it’s a more modern, realistic approach to dialogue and acting, all done in real locations, on real city streets, not always with permits.

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TRON Legacy

tn_tronlegacyRemember TRON? The 1982 live action Disney fantasy from director Steven Lisberger (ANIMALYMPICS, HOT PURSUIT) about a dude magically sucked into a video game to play frisbee and ride bikes? It’s memorable for its only-in-1982 approach to design, its one-of-a-kind black light type look, its pioneering computer effects (which still look surprisingly cool today) and a weird electronical score by Wendy Carlos (A CLOCKWORK ORANGE). The only major problem I have with it besides it being boring is the entire silly premise of a guy going inside a computer and the “programs” are alive and they battle each other.

Believe me, I’m a man who knows how to suspend the ol’ disbelief. I suspend that shit all the time. I’m about this close to banning it for life. But Jeff Bridges getting shrunk and playing games with tiny neon people who live in a city inside a computer chip is just not compatible with my brain, in my opinion.

And besides, if video games are gonna come to life then why don’t you put Pac-Man in there? I’d like to hear what Pac-Man has to say for himself.

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Interviews with Isaac Florentine, Scott Adkins, Larnell Stovall

florentineThis guy Conor from Dublin wrote to me about The Wireless Express Show, a podcast he does, where it just so happens he has interviewed a few of our favorite voices in the DTV action renaissance. I highly recommend the episode where Conor and his co-host interview Isaac Florentine and then Scott Adkins. Florentine talks alot about his influences and about UNDISPUTED III, and reveals alot of interesting tidbits (like why UNDISPUTED II and III each almost but not quite played theatrically, how they made Adkins and Jai White appear to be close to the same size, how hard it was to make Adkins look like a bad guy).

Both Wireless Express hosts are big on the post-action issue and like to ask these guys their opinions on shakycam and quick cuts. Adkins’ response is especially interesting, having actually worked with Paul Greengrass. He also gives a surprising answer to “what is your favorite fight scene?” that most of you will enjoy.

An arguably even better interview is with Larnell Stovall, the fight choreographer for UNDISPUTED III. He gives some great insights into the art of choreography, how many action movies are ruined in post-production, and gets kind of worked up talking about the shakycams since it’s his hard work at stake.

Conor also recommended his interviews with Bey Logan and Johnny Tri Nguyen, so I look forward to listening to those too.

House Party 4: Down To the Last Minute

tn_hp4kidnplayEPILOGUE:

I gotta tell you, I was surprised how much I liked HOUSE PARTY 4 (aka HOUSE PARTY 4: DOWN TO THE LAST MINUTE). A clever and meticulously constructed re-invention of the orig- Nah, just fucking with you. HOUSE PARTY 4 is a terrible movie. It’s the first in the series that’s at least as bad as I figured it would be, but not at all in the same way I thought it would be. It was made DTV in 2001 with the style and production value of some cable TV show made for 11-12 year olds (who would’ve been babies when the first HOUSE PARTY came out). In fact, I think the only thing making it higher than a PG rating is a song that plays on a radio that uses the word “pussy.” Otherwise it’s safe for Saturday morning TV. (read the rest of this shit…)

House Party 3

Kid, you look different. Did you lose weight or something?
Kid, you look different since Part 2. Did you lose weight or something?

kidnplayOkay, I’m not saying it’s very good, but I gotta admit, HOUSE PARTY 3 wasn’t as bad as I expected. Actually I was kinda impressed that each installment covers a different part of Kid’s life. Part 1 he’s (improbably) in high school maintaining friendships, bonding with his dad, starting his first serious relationship. Part 2 he’s going to college, learning about his heritage, facing challenges in keeping his girlfriend, dealing with loss. Now, for part 3, he says goodbye to childish things. He’s lost the fade and is thinking about cutting his hair altogether. He must decide how much he believes in his future as a rapper, accept that his parts 1-2 girlfriend Sidney wasn’t who he was meant to be with, and trust that his woman Veda (Angela Means) loves him even when she’s around naked dudes. All this because he’s about to get married. In HOUSE PARTY 3, Kid becomes Man.

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Who’s the Man?

tn_whosthemankidnplayYou know how nowadays everybody wanna talk like they got somethin to say, but nothin comes out when they move their lips, just a bunch of gibberish, and motherfuckers act like they forgot about Dre? And this despite the widespread recognition of Dre Day, and everybody’s celebratin? Well, that must be tough for Dre, but it’s even worse for Dré.

Dr. Dre – title abbreviated, name spelled with an ‘e’, not an ‘é’ – is the famous producer/rapper, the genius behind NWA, discoverer of Snoop and Eminem, headphone consultant, Dr. Pepper advocate. He still produces, is still highly respected despite unleashing 50 Cent, appears on commercials all the time but somehow still has a mystique about him. He recently released a song from the album he’s been working on for ten years, so he’s on the cover of magazines and people are really believing it’ll come out in February. And plan to buy it. Most rap careers don’t last as long as just the time people have been anticipating this one album by Dre.

Meanwhile Doctor Dré – title spelled out in full, name spelled with a little wavy thing above the ‘e’ – you could definitely make a strong argument that motherfuckers weren’t acting, they sincerely had forgotten about that particular Dré. (read the rest of this shit…)

Class Act

tn_classactkidnplayRecently I told you about how the Warner Archive and similar programs are releasing thousands of previously unavailable movies through the magic of made-to-order DVD-R. They’ve managed to finally release some real gems this way, but it also works for other less valuable minerals like HOT TO TROT, FEDS and CLASS ACT.

CLASS ACT is a Kid ‘n Play comedy vehicle released during the 3 year gap between HOUSE PARTY 2 and HOUSE PARTY 3 (a period known to many as The Struggle). It is not part of the HOUSE PARTY saga, they are playing different characters with different names. In this one Kid is a goodie-two-shoes science genius, Play is a notorious gangster troublemaker, and their identities are mistakenly switched when Kid falls face-first into the principal’s fat secretary’s boobs, causing her to drop their files and switch their headshots.
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Bebe’s Kids (plus two documentaries about Robin Harris)

tn_bebeskidskidnplayThe best thing about HOUSE PARTY was missing from HOUSE PARTY 2, that was Robin Harris. Of course they probly would’ve worked him in somehow if he was available, but he died of a heart attack in his sleep shortly after the release of the first one.

Harris seemed like he was on the verge of much bigger fame, at least according to two DVDs about him: ROBIN HARRIS LIVE FROM THE COMEDY ACT THEATER and WE DON’T DIE, WE MULTIPLY: THE ROBIN HARRIS STORY.
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House Party 2

tn_houseparty2kidnplayHOUSE PARTY 2 has that typical sequel problem: holy shit, the first time we were just doing what we wanted to do, now we gotta live up to people’s expectations. So in the beginning they kinda redo the beginning of the first one. It’s another fog machined dream of people dancing, but this time they got recent Academy Award winner Whoopi Goldberg to do a cameo as an evil professor. And there’s lightning and stuff. Spooky.

They also had a less typical sequel problem: holy shit, the best part of part 1 died right after it came out. So they dedicate the movie to Robin Harris, have Kid say a little prayer to Pop, have photos of him around that sometimes come to life in brief clips from part 1. At the very beginning of the movie Kid says, “About that party – you were right to whoop my ass,” referring to the beating he was about to get as the credits rolled. Weird that that’s what his mind jumps to when he remembers his dad. Only way I can explain it is either Kid knows he’s in a movie about that house party, or Pop died while administering that beating.
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