June 29, 1994

I LOVE TROUBLE is a romantic comedy mystery thriller about two reporters at rival Chicago newspapers competing to get the scoop about a series of deaths of people connected to a particular project at a chemical company. Peter Brackett (Nick Nolte, 48 HRS.) is a womanizing columnist so famous and “off the charts hot” that he’s in Gap ads and constantly recognized in public. We meet him when he’s dropped off at work by a very satisfied groupie he picked up at a signing for his new novel White Lies. Meanwhile, Sabrina Peterson (Julia Roberts, THE PLAYER) is new in town, introduced into the movie pumps and legs first, noticed for her looks but quickly establishes herself to the point of having a full-sized photo on the side of a delivery truck that crosses paths with the one that has Peter’s photo on it. I wondered if somebody saw the introduction to Siskel & Ebert and thought, “Hmmm. What if one was a lady, and they fell in love? And solved a mystery?”

That pair of thumbs up from the inspiration gods could’ve come to some executive, or it could’ve come to Charles Shyer (SMOKEY AND THE BANDIT) or Nancy Meyers, who are credited as co-auteurs because they co-wrote it and he’s the director and she’s the producer. They had been working together since PRIVATE BENJAMIN.

The story is set in 1994 – the in-flight movie (Shyer and Meyer’s FATHER OF THE BRIDE) is projected, a young witness has Lenny Kravitz’s “Are You Gonna Go My Way?” blasting in his apartment, there are references to Ross Perot and “the best frozen yogurt joint in the entire state,” she claims that she knows how to shoot because of “Self defense classes – a must for a woman in the ‘90s” – but obviously the whole bickering star reporters competing and falling in love thing was already old timey in those days. So are all the gimmicky wipes and the dissolves to newspaper cover stories spinning into view or flying off the presses, not to mention the scene where he types and imagines little Sabrina faces appearing on each of the keys.

Peter wears a tan overcoat and there’s a whole scene about each of them spying on each other through a skeleton keyhole (!). You know, one of those keyholes hotels had and we all knew to peep through in the ’90s. He finds out she’s secretly reading his novel, she sees him get in the shower and appears to be impressed by his junk.

After Peter plays the cute move of literally sending Sabrina chasing wild geese, they acknowledge that they’re on the same trail and pretend to team up, but are actually withholding clues from each other and searching each others’ personal items every chance they get. They fight and insult each other and hide that they’re actually quite charmed. (I really hate that when they first meet and he asks her “Where did you say you were from? Bitchville?” she pouts but then secretly smiles to herself and the audience. Save that shit for later, movie.)

Things don’t work like the real world. Getting chased on Fremont Street in Las Vegas, they duck into a chapel and accidentally get legally married (with Eugene Levy as the officiant). This is right after knocking a gunman in the backseat unconscious by driving wildly. It acts pretty serious about the thriller stuff but it’s hard to believe in any of the danger.

They get chased around by some menacing figures including James Rebhorn (CARLITO’S WAY) who you know is not to be messed with because he keeps his bulky leather gloves on even while sipping from a little espresso cup at an outdoor cafe. They run into an old friend of Peter’s played by Saul Rubinek (GETTING EVEN WITH DAD), and of course I would never, ever dream of giving away whether or not he turns out to be an evil mastermind at the end. I don’t care if you beg me, I don’t care if you torture me, I’m not telling. Ever. So don’t try.

Reportedly Nolte felt he was selling out by doing the movie, was a total grump on set and he and Roberts absolutely hated working together. I kinda liked seeing them together, though. Roberts does her thing, making the character always likable even though I think she’s written to be kind of a tightwad. We’re supposed to think she has a stick up her ass because she offers him sunblock when they’re stranded in the woods all day. A snooty waiter (Eric Poppick, “Nosy Neighbor,” SINGLE WHITE FEMALE) seems to take it personally for some reason that she orders bland food for health reasons, making it a point to announce the arrival of her “steamed vegetable plate, no salt, no oil, no butter” in the most judgmental way possible.

Like SPEED, this has a major elevator sequence in the first half – they have to climb up the shaft, they get shot at on the roof, climbing back down into the elevator the gunman slips and I guess shoots himself? I like how they first see the gun drop, then the guy, then a pack of Tic-Tacs, then a piece of paper with a clue. Even they seem to realize this is too good to be true.

Guns come into play again at the end, and there’s a showdown on a wobbly catwalk. Pretty traditional. I don’t know Nancy Meyers movies very well, so I was wondering if this is her only one where people plummet to their deaths.

The supporting cast is pretty crazy. Robert Loggia is Peter’s editor, Olympia Dukakis is his secretary, he also works with Jane Adams and Nora Dunn, and we see Charles Martin Smith, Clark Gregg, Paul Gleason and Keith Gordon. Frankie Faison (EXTERMINATOR 2, DO THE RIGHT THING) is the chief of police. I guess Paul Hirsch, editor of STAR WARS and various Brian DePalma movies, is the guy whose seat he steals on the plane and that’s because he edited this along with Walter Murch (APOCALYPSE NOW) and Adam Bernardi (GHOULIES GO TO COLLEGE, BEASTMASTER 2: THROUGH THE PORTAL OF TIME, THE METEOR MAN).

I have to admit that it was 20 minutes into the movie when I looked it up on Wikipedia and realized that this was not the 1994 Nick Nolte movie that was originally shot as a musical with songs written by Prince. That was I’LL DO ANYTHING. There actually were some music-related shenanigans, though – Elmer Bernstein composed an entire score but they ditched it at the last minute and got David Newman to do a new one. He also had THE FLINTSTONES and THE COWBOY WAY this summer, but maybe he doesn’t sleep or something.

I LOVE TROUBLE got mostly bad reviews okay-at-best business. An L.A. Times article included it on a list of “high-profile, high-cost films” that were “summer flops,” along with RENAISSANCE MAN, CITY SLICKERS II and BEVERLY HILLS COP III. The article theorizes that the summer is overcrowded and mentions Universal moving THE RIVER WILD and TIMECOP to the fall to be safe. This might’ve done a little better then, but it’s no TIMECOP. It could use some Prince songs, honestly.