Potpourri’s Dead: The Final Nightmare

tn_freddysdeadDon’t worry everybody, the Spielberg series is gonna finish, I’m just taking the time to get the reviews right before I post them. I also got some other reviews of recent home video releases in the works including one of the most interesting horror movies I’ve seen in a while. So stay tuned to this websight, or better yet keep reloading it from different computers to raise my unique hits count.

Back to you, Paula.

This entry was posted on Sunday, January 29th, 2012 at 11:28 am and is filed under Blog Post (short for weblog). You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

895 Responses to “Potpourri’s Dead: The Final Nightmare”

  1. Review IN BRUGES!!

    Oh, wait…

  2. I spent most of the day with watching this over and over. You will probably cringe over the cheesy french dance pop song and you shouldn’t be too allergic to purposely silly, but very well made dance moves, but DAMN, the editing is brillant, the scene where he changes his clothes is blowing my mind every single time and I really appreciate that these guys seriously travelled all over the world for this.

  3. Paula awkwardly cuts off Robert Englund as soon as he mentions “KY Jelly.” Ha.

    Vern, I feel bad because I use different monitors, devices, & browsers to load this websight, usually at the office, but they’re all routed through the same (slightly outdated) central hardware components & variable coded internet settings, a worldwide quadband arrangement that steals the most convenient available connection signal from anywhere between Wilmington & Atlanta, last I checked. I wonder if it comes up as “unique hits.” Whatever, I bought Vern’s merchandise, I use the amazon widgetmacallit, quit begging for more handouts, christ, fucking moocher.

    CJ, that video reminds me of the iCarly episode where Spencer gets re-addicted to pranking.
    It’s not terribly clever, but. . . I can’t explain it. I laugh uncontrollably at this, as well as many other iCarly moments.

    In conclusion, I watched 2 very good documentaries recently:
    BUS 174, a pre-ELITE SQUADs Jose Padilha joint that finds a new angle with which enrage your ‘fuck tha police’ mentality if you have one. I also recommend the dvd’s extra features, which are informative and enlightening, not just for the making of the film but for discovering the multilingualism & clear-headed intelligence of Padilha.
    PULLING JOHN, which is easily the best movie about professional arm-wrestling ever made. Surprisingly emotional movie, and the my emotions while watching it are mixed, fluid, overlapping, contradictory, but somehow very strong & pure, like watching the end of ROCKY and being simultaneously pissed off at the outcome but uplifted by the outcome. Also, PULLING JOHN’s interjectory animated Taoist fable sequence is sublime.

  4. In other news:Justifieds third season is off to a hell of a start I feel,although I don’t think there’s anyway they’ll be able to top season 2’s villainois crime family boss Mags.The guy threatening to put lye on the watchman’s hand at the end of episode two though definitly has potential.

    Did you guys know Walter GOggins had a wife commit suicide by jumping off a building. True story bro.

  5. I don’t blame you for laughing at iCarly, Mouth. There are lots of kiddie shows and movies that I find hysterical (like the unfortunately way too early cancelled I’M IN THE BAND. Why was it cancelled? I guess a show about a irresponsible rock band, that never learns a lesson after they destroyed their guest family’s house again, wasn’t good for Disney’s image.). Although I gotta admit that I’m not a fan of iCarly, but one night I watched a few minutes of it and laughed so hard, that I even heard my neighbours waking up and complaining about me afterwards.
    In the scene that I saw, Carly and her friends were looking through a photoalbum from a guy who they didn’t like (don’t know who) and they found first a photo of him as a kid, standing next to a bike, labelled “John (or whatever his name was) on his 7th birthday.” Then they found another picture, that was labelled “John on his 7th birthday, after he got hit by a car” and the photo showed the same kid, lying crying under his battered bike.
    Hey, I might be a bad person for laughing at this, but Nickelodeon put this joke on air!

  6. I was real happy to see Carla Gugino on Justified. I had read that her name was “Karen,” but they never called her that. What they did do was have Raylan surprised to hear her called “Goodall,” indicating that he knew her by a different (never revealed) last name. Also she beat up that guy with an extendable baton like Karen Sisco used in OUT OF SIGHT. I checked to see if the producers had officially acknowledged the “wink wink, nudge nudge, it’s Karen Sisco” and what I found was an EW thing where producer Graham Yost jokes “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

    The bad news though is she’s not coming back this season due to Broadway commitments. (Is Julie Taymor doing a SPY KIDS musical?) They’d like her next season though if it works out.

  7. I liked how Raylan solved the problem of grabbing the gun in the season premiere, though I was a little confused as to whether he killed the guy or not. It seemed like he only shot him in the shoulder, but there’s no mention of an arrest or anything. Also the severity of Raylan’s wound seems to contradict how after sustaining it it wasn’t so serious as to stop him from having his little conversation with Mags.

  8. “I’m in the Band” usually came on before my son’s favorite Disney show, “Kick Buttowski” (another one with questionable unDisney-like jokes and adult wink-winks, including a Porky’s PE teacher nod). The little bits I catch aren’t too bad, and it’s nowhere near annoying as Hannah Montanna or that one with the twins in a hotel/cruise.

  9. I was asking off-topic about HUMAN CENTIPEDE 2 in the Amistad thread, but will attempt to address it further here.

    I invite you to stop reading if you want to know nothing about the film. A formal spoiler alert will follow as I prepare to unleash details.

    I’ve never not made it through one of these gore pieces before but this one did it. Maybe its cause i’m going on about 36 hours no sleep and everything seems more vivid and intense, you know how that goes. But I made it to the end of Inside, A Serbian Film, the Guinea Pig series, and fuck it I turned this one off about 25 minutes before the end.

    1) It is specifically about rubbing your face graphically in all the details that were left more or less implicit in First Sequence.

    2) It is all about convincing you that you suck for enjoying First Sequence.

    Okay real SPOILERS FOLLOW:

    -It does the whole Chocolate meta trick. Remember how she was always watching Ong Bak? This guy is always watching Human Centipede part 1. He loves it, he wraps his dick in sandpaper and masturbates to it. He wants to make one of his own out of 12 people instead of 3.

    -Martin, the Human Centipede fan and villain, has an amazing screen presence and, like Mr. Laser in First Sequence, seems destined to be remembered as one of the great movie villains.

    -Martin has no medical expertise and you have to watch him build the centipede in excrutiating detail using rusty kitchen tools and staple guns and shit.

    I couldn’t watch that shit man! And supposedly it gets even worse. He feeds them laxatives and they explosively defecate into each other’s mouths. He wraps his dick in barbed wire and rapes one of them? I seriously don’t understand how that works, this guy is not about raping women, he can’t stand touching other people, he wants to make centipedes not rape people. Oh yeah and a woman gives birth to an infant as she’s trying to flee in a car, and then crushes the infants head between the accelerator and the floor?!

    So basically the last half hour or so of this movie is just punishing you for thinking that it’s okay to like movies like this. The humanistic elements of the first one (I think it was very sensitive to its victims) are COMPLETELY gone here. I thought the first hour was tons of fun as it developed Martin’s character and had fun with its movie-within-a-movie shit (he lures the actress from First Centipede to show up on the pretext of auditioning for a Tarantino movie, and she waxes pretentious about the first film. cute), But I really am reluctant to plow through the climax of this film.

    Anybody else see it?

  10. Hahahaha, Renfield, it doesn’t get any easier to sit through. Oh, and you do get a nice “Fuck you, everybody” ending from Tom Six. What an asshole. I loved it!

  11. Remember when the police used to seize Jörg Buttgereit’s Necromantic whenever he tried so show it outside of Germany? Now there’s stuff showing everywhere that make Jörg little “romantic comedy” look like…well, a romantic comedy. I’m not amused.

  12. Saw HC2 at Frightfest last year. It struck me that Tom Six was basically taking the piss out of censorship, especially on grounds of “moral corruption” and copycat crimes. He’s throwing the whole argument back in BBFC/MPAA’s face – look, this is what you fear might happen, isn’t it? that a member of the public might try to enact what he sees on film? Don’t you see how absurd it is?

    Still, a very difficult film to watch overall, especially what happens to the poor girl at the back of the line…

    On a lighter note – has anyone seen Sinners and Saints, the excellent cop thriller which borrows quite heavily from Lethal Weapon?

  13. If you mention it, he will come…

    I was up for seeing Sinners & Saints after checking out the pretty awesome trailer – but now, MikeOutWest, with your invoking of the holy Lethal Weapon, you truly have me bursting to see it.

    Also, in LW, how do the fuck does Alfred see Riggs’ tattoo properly? I know he’s small and all and could look up his sleeve but even then he’d only see a fraction of it, wouldn’t he?

    Maybe I should watch a different film from time to time.

  14. Nothing to do with human centipedes, but has anybody here seen the DTV ROYAL KILL/NINJA’S CREED with Eric Roberts and female pro wrestler Gail Kim?

  15. nabroleon dynamite

    January 30th, 2012 at 8:06 am

    HC2 is an absurdist comedy classic!!

    Or I’m just a sick fuck.

    Anyways, I hope this “most interesting horror movie” turns out to be “The Last Circus” because I’m kinda faggy for it…

  16. Toxic, you said “pro wrestler” which gives me my opportunity to ask: has anyone seen the doc CARD SUBJECT TO CHANGE on Netflix? Really depressing doc about indy pro wrestler…thought it would overtake DEAR ZACHARY for a while there. Anyone?

  17. Apparently Joe Carnahan is now doing a remake of DEATH WISH. Neeson playing Bronson, perchance?

  18. anthony- Not seen that, but just saw this sitcom set behind the scenes in a wrestling promotion, with Mick Foley, Colt Cabana and Ken Anderson playing some of the characters that I enjoyed:

  19. Anyone see the first ep of the new season of Spartacus? What do we think of the new Andy?

    I think he’s not Andy… but he might get used to him. Eventually.

    Btw, the news that Ex2 is PG 13 doesn’t seem so bad when we’ve got shows like Spartacus on tv now. At least there’s somewhere to go for our dose of grisly, manly, over the top violence. It’s just not the cinema anymore.

  20. anthony, Card Subject to Change is good and really depressing. My favorite wrestling doc on Netflix right now is The Backyard. It’s really something.

    Did anyone else see last night’s Royal Rumble? It was pretty mediocre at best. I did a little write up if anyone wants to read about it. Overall: Ricardo had the best moment of the night and well, that’s about it.

  21. Karlos,

    Another question about LW: How come Riggs can shoot a smiley face with EASE, but can’t hit Mr. Joshua when he snipes that dude from the chopper? I mean yeah he was in a chopper and all but come on, Riggs is nasty with that gun.

    While we potpouriiing, some of you guys must watch Sons of Anarchy? Who thought the season finale sucked real bad? I did. I thought it sucked so bad I was convinced it wasn’t actually the season finale, but it was.

  22. I enjoyed it. Undercard was okay, though could have been better, but I found the Rumble itself a lot of fun. Really enjoyed the surprises and liked who won.

  23. Bob, coincidentally I just (as in 10 minutes ago) finished season 1 of SONS OF ANARCHY and wanted to write about the series too. It got a pretty interesting way of distribution over here. Instead of showing it on (Pay) TV or releasing it on DVD, it had its German premiere for free and legal on a You Tube-ish video website, embedded between funny cat videos and the new Nicky Minaj or Rihanna clips. A bold move IMO, especially since it was fully uncut and you just had to push a button, to confirm that you are 16 years or older. I hope it paid off, because I really would like to see more of it.

    It’s not a ground breaking series by any means, but I think it’s the best soap opera for men since OZ. I guess you talked about the newest season finale, but what you said applied to the season 1 finale too. Well, almost. I wouldn’t call it “bad”, but it was very underwhelming. I do want to know what happens next, though. Not because of the so-what cliffhanger, but because the world full of bad people, who also do good things from time to time, but not enough to redeem themself, is seriously entertaining.

  24. Bob Vila – that is a good point. Maybe Riggs was angry and therefore his aim was off?

    I’m just clutching at straws here, aren’t I?

    By the way, here’s a trailer for WHEN SUPERMAN MET JOHN McCLANE:


  25. Did Bruce get killed in that trailer or not? I’m confused.

  26. It’s pretty vague, isn’t it?

    Yet, at the same time, gives far too much away in general.

    Not a good trailer, in my opinion.

    I’m amazed at how many films Bruce is churning out these days.

  27. Downdrafts, fellas. That chopper is throwing down enough wind to keep itself aloft. That’s bound to play hell with the aim of even an expert marksman like Riggs, especially when he’s shooting nine millimeters, a bullet not exactly known for its massive muzzle velocity. Normally, Riggs doesn’t need a lot of stopping power because he tends to hit whatever he’s shooting at, but here’s one case where packing a little extra firepower might have come in handy.

  28. Stu/Casey – Honestly I was pleased that WWE grew a pair and gave the Rumble win to Sheamus. Orton/Jericho both would’ve made sense, and pretty obvious, but….those guys are already over. They need a Rumble win notch on their belts. Sheamus was forced by the crowds last year to turn face, and really I’m intrigued as hell by a WM match-up with Daniel Bryan, who’s delivering one hell of a slow-burn heel turn. The crowd will get behind the Great White Albino.

    And they don’t even have to give Sheamus the belt at WM. You could even build up Sheamus chasing Bryan for the belt, and culminate at SummerSlam. That way you have two new legit main event stars because your Jerichos and Ortons of the world can’t carry your company for many more years. (Jericho especailly, since I suspect this is his last run.)

    As for the Rumble, well I must admit: I marked hard with the Road Dogg appearance. I don’t know why, but I did.


  29. I mean “they don’t need a Rumble win notch on their belts.” Typo mistake, sorry!

  30. Vern – are you going to review that GLEE episode on Michael Jackson?

    As for what I think of GLEE….


    (Thank you COMMUNITY.)

  31. I got the season one DVD of COMMUNITY and the writer and cast repeatedly state on the commetary they don’t hate GLEE, just the ratings they get. They actually film in the lot beside them too. This season’s christmas special spoofing them and how the teacher’s like a cult leader at times though was pretty good.

  32. Stu – that’s like saying you don’t hate that your roommate has a bigger penis, but that you hate how much pussy he gets. It’s polite, diplomatic Hollywood way of saying GOD DAMMIT!

    But really, they’re right. I don’t get the appeal.

  33. Slightly ashamed to admit that it’s been more than a few months since I last watched LETHAL WEAPON, so I can’t clearly recall all the factors of Riggs’s marksmanship, but I will add to Mr. Majestyk’s post to assure you all that it is very very very difficult to hit a human size target at any distance from any moving vehicle unless maybe you are utilizing Old Painless.

    You can do everything right, but bottom line is, when you’re going for accuracy with a semi-automatic or any small arms weapon from distance, you’re trained to micromanage the muscles of your trigger finger and to coordinate them with the precise instant your breathing & heartbeat will disrupt the rest of your body the least. Any uncontrolled movement, like from being airborne or vehicle-borne, fucks it all up terribly. I can’t even wear goggles while I aim for targets beyond 250 meters with an ACOG/M68/EOTech or the like, because that slight irritation on my nose tends to throw me off.

    It’s embarrassing how pathetic my accuracy becomes when I shoot from the gunner perch or out the window of a rolling HMMWV. I never tried it from a chopper. Ask Sarah Palin?

    On a slightly more manly topic, I too dislike GLEE. Don’t hate it, but some people who know me are surprised I don’t watch it & love it since I’m all about some musicals & hipster-mainstream subverting synergy counterculture shit, which I guess it what makes the show popular edgy morning-after water-cooler fare.

    I would like it a lot more if the performances weren’t so standard & boring, from what little I’ve seen. Instead of visual inventiveness & narrative relevance cut with daring choreography, it’s a bunch of stale, modestly athletic cheerleader routines & sub-Broadway production values. And this happens in the scenes that are supposed to be “the climax” of each episode, from what I gather. The emotions & intended impact of that moment of the story arcs aren’t commensurate with the intended zazz of what are supposedly the big dramatic set pieces. There’s nothing rewarding about seeing a story wrap up with a performance on an empty stage, where the most exciting moment is when the spotlight shifts to a piano or an applauding audience member or whatever. Julie Taymor needs to teach those GLEE amateurs how to engage my eyeballs.

    So, I’m not a Gleek. I’m a No-Gleeknick, er, uh. . .

  34. I indeed watched the first episode of New Spartacus and at first, i just couldn’t accept the new guy as Spartacus. It’s tough to re-cast the lead after a season and I just couldn’t buy into. I watched it again and it was way more enjoyable after my initial frustration was out of the way. I miss the whole gladiator aspect of the show but I’m on board to see where it goes from here. The first episode also has one of the craziest brothel scenes I’ve ever seen complete with golden showers and strap ons. Reminded me of Shoot Em Up where Clive Owen walks into the brothel and there’s all this crazy shit going on. Bring on the rest of season 2.

  35. nabroleon dynamite

    January 30th, 2012 at 6:08 pm

    The Last Circus is dope!! (I said some other shit on my shitty android, but I don’t see it, so…)

  36. Oh, Mouth. Riggs was shooting AT a helicopter, not FROM helicopter. I’m going to assume you typed that comment while hanging from the landing strut of an out-of-control Tomawhawk and just didn’t correct for wind shear.

    Nabro D: I watched THE LAST CIRCUS last week. As you said in the previous Potpourri (which tragically died before its time), it made my penis stop shrinking immediately. I thought the climax was a bit too generically climaxy (heights, hostages, etc.) but the payoff was eventually worth it. I liked that every time you thought you had the plot figured out it just smacked its bitch up and changed the whole shit on you. Maybe that’s the horror movie Vern mentioned above, because it’s certainly the only interesting one I’ve seen in for-fucking-ever.

  37. Told you I haven’t seen LW in a while. After memory, reading comprehension is the next thing to go for a brain-injured oldster like me.

    Riggs musta been shaky from the residual effects of the torture? I’ve been semi-electrocuted a couple times, too. Keeps you awake, kills your appetite, and also throws off your aim. Yeah, that’s the ticket.

  38. I love how “aw shucks, I’m just a regular guy” Robert Englund tries to come off as in that interview

    anyway last night I played Castlevania Bloodlines on a Sega Genesis emulator and thanks to the power of save states I was able to beat it in one night, it felt good…

    by the way, here’s a totally random and bizarre though I had last night while laying in bed, what you do you think fashion or clothes will be like in the future, say 100 years from now?

    I was thinking how the way people dress today is extremely provocative compared to the way people dressed around a 100 years ago, so that made me wonder, 100 years from now will women be wearing dresses or clothes that expose their breasts? will all pants be assless? will a bunch of clothing be see-through and will every beach be a nude beach? I mean how much smaller can bikinis eventually get?

    thoughts to ponder all right

  39. I’d like for people to continue to cover their various bodily cavities while in public. Clothing is what separates us from the animals.

  40. Mouth – but what about see-through clothing? what if in the future everyone still wears plenty of clothing but some it’s see-through?

    and what about the beach? what if swimwear keeps getting tinier and tinier till people finally just say “fuck it”?

    I mean in most of Europe women can already go topless on the beach and it’s not a big deal

  41. all I’m saying is all that sounds really strange to us now of course, but what would people 100 years ago think of modern mini skirts or bikinis? it would seem awfully strange to them too

  42. Ah, but what about all those Georgian Era costume dramas where the women have ridiculous cleavage? There’s no guarantee this stuff will just continue in the direction it will.

  43. For the future, I want ugly people to stop breeding so much and I want a wardrobe that matches my jetpack’s color scheme. And I want to be the guy who cashes in on the disposable customized jetpack skins, which I predict will be like those girly plastic cell phone gloves that every other mall kiosk had for sale at the beginning of this century.

    If we’re moving toward see-through threads, then I hope nutrition & fitness experience a huge public boost. Or maybe Big Pharma can develop a Prettiness Pill. I’m not a fan of cosmetic surgery, but I’d support a pill that makes someone more attractive.

    Waddles, flab, gooches, pouches, cellulite, varicose veins, stretch marks — I’ll be the shallow, judgmental asshole who denounces these things before I endorse your birthday suit.

    The smart money for future fashion will be based on whatever the best fabric is that can be easily mass produced, like if they came up with a synthetic silk that is form-fitting, expandable (but not elastic), breathable, washable, durable, inexpensive, mosquito-bite-proof, self-sanitizing, wi-fi ready/built-in, rechargable, USB-connective, HUD function (GPS, credit card database, iGooglePad, etc.) compatible, and not tacky.

    The rich & industrial specialists will roam the earth in their exoskeletons, while the middle classes settle for their functional body suits, and our only real form of self-expression will be in our hairstyles & wireless flirtation probes, which will eventually replace pheromones on the evolutionary timeline.

  44. Speaking of Michael Jackson, I don’t remember much of the MOONWALKER Genesis game, and not much memorably for the better. Subsequent reviews by nostalgia-based video gamers (AVGN, etc.) all proved that I was right to not giving much a shit about it in the first place.

    But I didn’t know it started out as an arcade game. Now I must admit, this looks awesomely retarded. In a good way.


    (Favorite piece: The battering ram robot, which makes it look like it’s trying to thrust/rape you to death.)

  45. ThomasCrown – Glad you liked the first ep of Spartacus, I enjoyed the hell out of it myself. Of course it felt weird to have a new guy playing the lead role, but you can’t expect to get over a guy as likeable as Andy Whitfield in just one episode. He’ll do well in the end, I think.

    Besides that it still feels like Spartacus. Excessive violence, nudity and good dramatic, B-movie type story-telling. This Glaber guy has now done pretty much all he can to hurt Spartacus as much as possible except kick his puppy. Will be interesting to see how he meets his end!

    So yeah, seems like it’ll continue to be one of the best three shows on television right now (besides Game Of Thrones and Mad Men).

    Btw, I hope that Seppia woman gets naked soon.

  46. Mike, no love for BREAKING BAD?

  47. Mike A. I had my doubts. My favorite character was Batiatus but theres so many things they can do with the escaped gladiator story. But the new guy kinda won me over at the end. Ilythia gets naked too and thats always a wonderful thing. So like I said, i’m on board. Lucy Lawless is always nice to watch as well.

  48. And any show that has dialogue like this, ” A gladiator does not fear death. He embraces it. Caresses it. Fucks it. Each time he enters the arena, he slips his cock, into the mouth of the beast, and prays to thrust home before the jaws snap shut,” is awesome in my book.

  49. CJ – I do like Breaking Bad, don’t love it. Cranston is fantastic in it, but the other guy never really grew on me. Also I thought there were dull patches in the story that were sometimes several episodes long. Note that I have only seen the first two seasons though. Does it get better in the 3rd and 4th?

    ThomasCrown – I too loved Batiatus so in that respect it was a good thing that we got to see more of him in Gods Of The Arena. I do think we’ve seen enough of him now, time for Glaber to take a more central role as the baddie, as he was absent for most of the first season.
    And yes, the dialogue style is fantastic. It took some getting used to in the beginning, now I can’t get enough of it.

  50. BREAKING BAD is seriously one of those shows that get better with every season. And season 4 ends with the maybe most fucked up death scene in the history of television (not counting whatever happens at SPARTACUS.). You should continue watching just for that moment, before anybody spoils it for you.
    And I agree about the “dull patches” in season 2. Especially early on it dragged a little, but trust me, it gets seriously awesome. And if you don’t like Jesse by the end of season 4, I think nothing will sell you on him.

  51. Sounds good! I was already planning to see the other seasons (my brother buys the dvd box sets, waiting for the region 2 release of season 3) but looking forward to it now. Nothing quite gets the blood flowing like a fucked up death scene. Is it fucked up in a bloody way or an emotional way? Wait, don’t tell me. Better to know as little as possible.

  52. so I finally got started on Elder Scrolls 5 Skyrim

    and damn, I guess I’m stating the obvious here, but it’s amazing

    can’t wait to sink my teeth into it, I’ll try to keep checking up on Vern’s site though and not disappear like I did when I played Fallout New Vegas

  53. I’m interested in Skyrim but what’s kept me from buying it are all the reports that the game is so buggy that it’s almost broken. I think I’ll wait for the inevitable game of the year edition with all patches and fixes already implemented.

  54. It may well be worth waiting for the GOTY for Skyrim. A joke I’ve heard told is “how can you tell when a Bethesda game is out of beta? Look for the words ‘game of the year’ on the cover!”

    I must report that many of the bugs I experienced were game-destroying. I can stand occasional physics snafus and shit, but when 1/3 of the enemies become docile mid battle and just sit there letting me slap them to death (including the dragons) all sense of immersion is lost. I bought the game the night it came out, but have since shelved it in hopes that this and other crippling flaws will be addressed.

    Instead I’ve been getting my RPG fix from Dark Souls (polar opposite of Skyrim) and The Witcher 2 (exactly midway between Skyrim and Dark Souls). Dark Souls is the expansive sequel to the notorious Demon’s Souls and claimed about 110 hours of my life in three weeks. I could talk for hours about this game and how amazing it is. Unlike Skyrim, which to some extent generates the game around your character (levelled foes, AI scripting instead of cutscenes) Dark Souls is all about being a meticulously planned out experience wherein every confrontation is static, but brilliant.

    Skyrim limits what you can do/where you can go only by your (toon’s) knowledge of the world: who you’ve talked to, where you know to go, what quests are available. Or fuck it you can just wander off and something will happen. But to some extent, wherever you go, you will encounter creatures within your abilities to fight because it generates the monsters based on your character. (This is true of SOME of the monsters, by the way, a fact that Elder Scrolls detractors often ignore).

    Dark Souls on the other hand, well it’s not REALLY open world, it’s more a collection of levels more or less as linear as a Mario 3 level (ie not really but has clear beginning and end), that are elaborately interconnected with one another, assembled into something that feels like a vast and humbling open world but really isn’t. And you can’t go to some places because the people there will simply kill you; often there is no hint that an area is not yet meant to be explored until you’re knee deep in an unwinnable battle.

    As such, the games have different philosophies. Dark Souls is totally stripped down, basically God of War with an *open* world, more deliberate and realistic combat/physics, and RPG elements such as talking to NPCs, looting and levelling. But the focus is entirely on what button did you push at what exact moment during combat, how aware were you of the foes’ positioning and do you have a possible counter to the various attacks they are known or suspected to initiate, do you have enough Stamina (or combo moves in GOW) left to get in one more thrust and pull up your shield and block the returning blow? Lots of depth, with features such as dodging, parry and riposte, etc.

    On the other hand the story and characterizations bubble forth in tiny glimpses and hints; you talk to NPC’s but you never have dialogue options, and the info you get about the world’s lore from them and other sources is frequently obtuse. Nonetheless a rich and vivid world gradually arises, and I fucking love the characters and their stories, should they have them, and the silly/nonsensical but totally tits opening cinematic. If you like this sword and sorcery shit and are unaware of Demon’s Souls/Dark Souls, read up on the notorious difficulty of these games (so well-documented it would be stupid to regurgitate here). They are the real deal. Also they have New Game +.

    Just started Witcher 2, and it’s almost a carbon copy of an Elder Scroll’s game with a radial menu that lets you rest for x hours or do alchemy, all that shit. You do play a static character and the NPC interaction is approached with the Bioware philosophy (you select from dialog options and then your toon says something HE would say based on your choice. i clicked ‘very funny’ and he goes ‘fuck you!’). But it is all third person, I think, and features the whole lock-on, dodge, parry, riposte combat system from Demon’s/Dark Souls (quite different though and so far possibly much less convincing). I’m into it. I advise you play on second-to-maximum difficulty (NOT the one where it deletes your saved game when you die).

  55. Last thought on Eldritch Scrolls 5.

    I disliked the sliding difficult bar in Oblivion. Somebody pointed out to me that this was basically Bethesda’s admission that they weren’t convinced of their monster-leveling system and that the burden falls on the user to be constantly tweaking/calibrating the difficulty. Were, that might be severe, but once you have the power to do it, you feel like you have the responsibility, right? So while I was relieved to see the trad. Easy/Normal/Hard/Hell/Fuck Off divisions in Skyrim, I gotta say they are inadequate for my character, wherein Hell is soul-crushingly nonchallenging, but Fuck Off completely unplayable (like, I COULD sit there whittling you down for hours while strafing and hoping I manage to avoid every single blow deal since it will take only one to kill me instantly, but wtf?).

    That said I always default to being a spellcaster for my first build in these games, and that’s always a) the easiest to succeed at, and b) probably the hardest for the developers to balance. I mean, you might want to fuck with my High Elf lightning mage but it would be like fighting all the X-Men at once.

  56. Dark Souls sounds very interesting. I checked out a quick look video at GiantBomb to see the gameplay and now I’m even more interested. I haven’t played Skyrim but I have played Elder Scrolls IV and that game bored the shit out of me. I hated the fact that the world would level up along with you rendering the whole leveling system kinda pointless. All those caves and dungeons were boring as fuck. The first couple of caves were exciting because there was that whole, “ooh, I wonder whats in here?” feeling. After exploring about 3 or 4 caves I caught on to the fact that there wasn’t anything worth finding in these caves other some arrows or health potions. Fallout 3 and New Vegas did it much better. You really didn’t know what you were going to find when you went exploring in caves. Could be an upgraded Plasma Rifle, an interesting diary entry, or nothing.

    Did you guys enjoy Dragon Age Origins? A very different kind of game but I dumped a good 50 hours into that one. I heard the sequel sucks so I haven’t played it and probably wont.

  57. I play SKYRIM on a Ps3 and I can´t say that the glitches are ruining the experience because it´s such an awesome game. it runs a helluvalot better than the FALLOUT-games that has THE worst lag you can ever imagine at times. When it comes to Dragon Age and those Baldurs Gate games they seem to be focused on hardcore gamers. I never could get into them. Can´t stand giving commands to my character when I can swing my broadsword and thrust it into my enemies heads.

  58. ThomasCrown:

    Bethesda definitely learned from the Fallout games, and the core gameplay experience of Skyrim is far more interesting in my opinion. Simply the design of the caves/dungeons is quite a bit more interesting. It may be worth giving it a shot, but from the sounds of it you may be more interested in the Dark Souls side of things.

    Dragon Age: Origins was a superb game, and unbelievably difficult and rewarding IF YOU PLAYED IT ON THE PC. Significantly, the console versions of the game eliminated FRIENDLY FIRE, so suddenly all your spellcasters can spam their AoE’s with impunity, and such. The PC version viewed every melee as a real time strategy game scenario; with the ability to pause time and assign different orders to your troops, you had to be planning several moves ahead and demonstrating omniscient battlefield awareness. Very different experience on console. From what I’ve heard, Dragon Age 2 was more like the console versions of Dragon Age.

    But you know, I should check it out simply because every Bioware RPG i’ve played was just leagues ahead of anybody else’s when it came to story and characterization. This gaming generation has made unbelievable strides in using the medium as a storytelling tool (Guillermo del Toro and fantasy writer Brandon Sanderson both predict it will become the dominant, most fruitful storytelling medium) but as far as I’m concerned Mass Effect 2 just slays the competition (the competition being Rockstar, Bethesda, and that dude who made the Metal Gear series I suppose…Kojima?). A sci-fi world built out of lore that isn’t just on a par with stuff like Star Wars and Star Trek, it’s UNDENIABLY far richer and more involving. Ideological quandaries/moral choices that are actually ambiguous and sophisticated and not just “do I kill this person or let them live”. I am deeply in love the Female Default Commander Shepherd and would love to clone/marry her Virtuosity style.

  59. By the way, my brother plays Skyrim on PS3 and he too has a much better experience with it, as far as being glitch-free or glitch-tolerant, than I have had playing it on my PC.

  60. I’ve had Mass Effect 2 for the PS3 (it has all the dlc stuff included) sitting on my shelf for about 3 or 4 months now. I guess I should play it.

  61. “I did a Schindler’s List—whereas they do the little red dress, I did brown diarrhea. It was an ode to Schindler’s List.” -Tom Six on Human Centipede 2.

  62. I got Skyrim for PS3 too in the middle of December. I installed the most up to date patch at the time before I played it and I disabled autosave where I could in options and I’ve had very minimal problems. Only froze up once on me. I’m 70 something hours in though, and I hear the problems were known to come after 90.
    Also recently picked up cheap HEAVENLY SWORD, which was fun and had a good martial arts epic storyline(complete with Andy Serkis mo-capping as the villain in a rare non-ape role as well as being the game’s “Dramatic Director”), albeit is a bit short with little replay value, and VANQUISH, which recommend a lot. The story’s complete rubbish, but the gameplay’s insanely good.

  63. Rehydrated Dehydrated Pirate Paul

    January 31st, 2012 at 6:20 pm

    Skyrim – all I can say is, if you go into the massive cavern with the giant glowing mushrooms and the red nirnroot (you’ll know it when you see it), DON’T use Aura Whisper. Trust me on this.

    There’s a lot of bugs, but if you can avoid them, it’s an incredibly good and immersive game. I started off playing a thief / sniper character, then I went to mage (but broke the game effectively by using Dead Thrall – again, DON’T DO THIS! Jeez, the list of things you can’t do because of bugs is ridiculous…) and finally I’m trying a warrior. Which is probably the hardest but also the most fun class (as opposed to mage, which is easiest but most frustrating. So many spells you have can kill your companions instead of your enemies…)

  64. Rehydrated Dehydrated Pirate Paul

    January 31st, 2012 at 6:49 pm

    Renfield – this is how cynical I am about life – I genuinely cannot decide if that quote of yours was you being facetious or Tom Six being… Tom Six. Either way it gave me a giggle, so thanks.

    Although SOMEBODY doesn’t know what an “ode” is.

  65. From what I understand of all the recent Bethesda games are that the game doesn´t start tofuck with you until you´ve put a decent amount of hours into them. That´s what happened to me with both FALLOUT-games on the ps3. I´m 30-40 hours into skyrim and no problems with lag sofar but please, if you have a choice DON`T play the ps3-versions of FALLOUT. They are notorious for a reason. And you can take that to the bank.

  66. So, Mel’s back:


    Looks pretty great, IMHO (2:08 – pure Riggs), and early reviews are saying it’s great but but my question is this: will it find an audience?

    And has he been forgiven?

    Will he ever be forgiven?

  67. I don´t care what people think of Mel. I think he´s great. Sure, he´s done or said stupid things. But I just think it´s hypocritical. We´ve all done or said things we´ve come to regret. Enough with the Mel-Hate evryone. Time to give him some love. EDGE OF DARKNESS was one of the more impressive movies I´ve seen in recent years. And Mel is great in it (of course!). Stop hating, that´s what i´m saying.

  68. In other Mel news, a teeny update on his Viking movie…


    Oh, and Carnahan’s DEATH WISH remake? He’s talking up a DRIVE-vibe…

    “Guys. I’m doing ‘Death Wish.’ But this version is a re-imagining of the book and set in present day Los Angeles. The L.A. of ‘Collateral.’ It’s on buses, cabs, metro trains. I want to show an unseen version of L.A. L.A. on foot. Prowling. Hunting. The vast emptiness of downtown. … Refn did a phenomenal job shooting L.A. It took on a different dimension. That’s the key. … The only role I’m writing in ‘Death Wish’ which will mark the ONE time I’ve ever written exclusively for an actor, will be for @FrankGrillo.”

  69. I have not encountered any glitches so far at all and I’m playing on the PC, at least the game doesn’t constantly crash like New Vegas did after it was released

    and also, I play these Bethesda games to explore cool environments and kick ass, I don’t care whether the games are “deep” or not or difficult or not

    no offense to anybody, but the type of gamers who think that a game can only be good if it’s frustratingly difficult and/or needlessly complex irritate the shit of me (like for example the morons that swear System Shock 2 is better than Bioshock)

    I have a question though for anybody that might know, without spoiling anything if possible can someone tell me where the “pine forest” is? I want to find that axe wielding ghost woman

  70. Rehydrated Dehydrated Pirate Paul

    February 1st, 2012 at 9:03 am

    “no offense to anybody, but the type of gamers who think that a game can only be good if it’s frustratingly difficult and/or needlessly complex irritate the shit of me (like for example the morons that swear System Shock 2 is better than Bioshock)”

    Well count my firmly among the morons then.

    System Shock is probably my favorite game of all time. SS2 has more balance issues and suffers from a bad final act, but the gameplay, characters, story, sound design and overall atmosphere are sheer perfection.

    Bioshock – the world is very well-realised (at least up until the third act), and the gameplay is good for the most part. Problem is, beating the Big Daddies goes from absurdly hard at the start to absurdly easy once you get your hands on the electro-bolts and grenade launcher / proximety grenades. I love the gardens. I love Sander Cohen. Steinmann might be one of the best mini-bosses of any game ever – he’s that good. My main problem, though, is everything that happens after Andrew Ryan’s awesome death.

    So: the new villain is a posturing ass whose two personas are constantly mixed up. (Tell me why the orphanage has FONTAINE’S name, not Atlas’, on it, when Atlas is supposed to be the philanthropist, Fontaine the smuggler?) The thing that causes your plasmids to cycle is annoying, the entire “point Prometheus” level seems to be there just to lengthen the game, putting on the suit makes the controls and visuals feel awkward and cumbersome, and don’t even get me started on the escort mission. At least “System Shock 2” only lost it on the very last level of the game. “Bioshock” lost it long, long before then.

    Don’t get me wrong – I very much liked “Bioshock”. The world that’s created, at least until you meet Andrew Ryan, is fantastic and immersive. But is it as good as “System Shock 2” is? Not a chance. “SS2” is the scariest game I’ve ever played (and I’ve played a LOT of survival horror games, from “Alone in the Dark” onwards.) Wandering about the coolant tubes, trying to avoid patches of radiation, and suddenly hearing “KILL MEEEEEE!!!” screamed in your ear from somewhere behind you? That’s… scary as hell, and some people would hate it. But there’s no denying how immersive it is.

  71. Rehydrated Dehydrated Pirate Paul

    February 1st, 2012 at 9:07 am

    Also Griff, I’ve played through “System Shock 2” probably thirty or forty times in total, each time trying it with different combinations of skills, weapons, etc. The skills are unbalanced (getting “hack”, “standard weapons” and “repair” up to maximum early on will probably allow you to walk through the game, on “hard” difficulty, without much problem) but to me that’s part of its charm. It’s fun to see if you can make it through using, for example, only energy weapons, or without using “Hack”.

    I’ve played “Bioshock” through twice. And although I did enjoy it a lot, I can’t imagine playing it through a third time. I’ve seen everything there is to see and there’s very little variation on how you’d be able to take on the game.

  72. It´s hard to make a case against a game most people (including myself )has not played. But I found BIOSHOCK one of the most visually beautiful game I´ve ever played. Don´t care how many different ways you can complete a game since I very rarely play a game more than once so I don´t judge a game in that aspect. Like some people get upset that FALLOUT 3 did not have 200+ endings or whatever. Jesus,people. It would take ages ( or decades) to finish a game 200 times!

  73. (ehem… the game I forgot to mention, that most people never played was, SYSTEM SHOCK 2 that Paul mentioned.Felt I needed to clarify that)

  74. Take a look at this review of an obscure, low-budget Cambodian horror movie:

    I get the impression that people around here will appreciate details like this:

    “Real animals, for example, get as much screen time as our Crocodile Man, and when they attack, genuine chaos occurs. The soundtrack, likely dubbed from an American horror movie chase scene and put on a Garage Band loop, is droning and repetitive, and totally inappropriate for scenes in which, say, a snake lunges at our heroes but they get away handily. I have no desire to ruin this film for you, but since I doubt you’ll ever be able to track it down, I must explain that the subtitles for these animal attacks look like this:


    I have no idea what it’s supposed to refer to, and I don’t care. It is simply too brilliant to question.”

  75. I’m excited for the GRINGO movie and hopefully the viking one too, but let’s not pretend he’s just a regular guy who made a couple off color comments like you or me. Most people don’t go on epic rants about the Jews controlling the world, and if they do they don’t always end up being recorded repeatedly threatening to murder their pregnant girlfriend, and if they do that they don’t necessarily throw in a bonus n-word. No, the guy clearly needs help, but I love some of his movies.

  76. Another great episode of JUSTIFIED this week. Nice progression of Boyd’s storyline, a funny mexican standoff(poor Otis. He can’t catch a break), and Neal McDonough continues to redeem himself for whatever the fuck he thought he was doing in the THE LEGEND OF CHUN LI.

  77. Vern- Yeah. Or as South Park put it: “Say what you want about Mel Gibson, but the son of a bitch knows story structure!”

  78. Yeah, best Justified episode of the season so far I think. There were alot of great bits, but my favorite was when McDonough started to explain something about his wrist-gun and how he got the idea while Christmas tree shopping. Then he’s interrupted by a knock on the door. Mykelti Williamson is looking to be an interesting character too.

  79. Those rants that Gibson has been so infamous for is alcohol-related. I´m not defending his comments, but they weren´t sober ones. But he do have issues to deal with deep down which this proves.

  80. Rehydrated Dehydrated Pirate Paul

    February 1st, 2012 at 1:56 pm

    Shoot – most people haven’t played it. “System Shock 2”, I mean. And I don’t want to go on an anti-Bioshock rant because I did think it was very good. But better than its predecessor? Not in my opinion.

    I don’t know much about Mel Gibson, but I liked “Lethal Weapon”. So there you go.

    And let’s go onto a review of a film you guys may be interested in, Liam Neeson-starring Alaskan oil-workers in peril thriller “The Grey”, which adds to the onslaught of of snow / Viking-themed films, games, and TV shows that seem to be coming out at the moment. Cold is the new hot, it would seem.

    And guess what? I just saw it!

    So… “THE GREY”. With what will probably be a spoiler-heavy review coming up, so here’s the short version:

    Is it over-rated? Without a shadow of a doubt, yes.

    It is still a good movie? Yes, I would say that it is.

    The best parts of “The Grey” are when it’s a bunch of men around a fire or sitting in the snow, discussing the situation or their families or the wolves or whatever the heck they happen to be discussing. The actors – who are uniformly excellent – get to really show what they’re capable of. The characters are well-written and individual. The wolves are a convincing threat and there’s a lot of very genuine tension about when and where they’ll strike. The pervading threat helps keep the tension levels high, which is a very good thing.

    On the negative side, when we get to stuff actually HAPPENING in the movie, I’m afraid to say that it doesn’t hold up as well. For those wondering: yesyeyesesesitdodododoeshhhhaveshshshshshshshshshakycam. And if you were wondering what the hell was going on with that sentence, well, that’s probably the feeling you’ll get during a couple of the faster-paced scenes of “The Grey”. There’s a LOT of handheld camerawork in this movie, and it’s noticeable. Not in a good way.

    My recommendation: wait for DVD, then watch this movie. Not because I think it’s a bad movie (it’s actually a really good one in parts) but because shakycam is a lot less bother to watch on the small screen.

    Okay, next bit needs a spoiler warning, so I’m not going to write it here. Current rankings of films I’ve seen in 2012 would be:

    “The Silence” – great.
    “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo” – great.
    “Margin Call” – great.
    “Shame” – very good. Also, cock.
    “The Grey” – better than “Haywire” but not as good as the last three.
    “Haywire” – pretty good.

    Still haven’t seen a bad movie yet…

  81. Rehydrated Dehydrated Pirate Paul

    February 1st, 2012 at 2:16 pm

    Ok, SPOILER WARNING for “The Grey”.

    Seriously, if you haven’t seen the film, skip these HUGE SPOILERS FOR THE ENTIRE FILM INCLUDING ITS ENDING.









    So here’s a few things that kinda bugged me about “The Grey”.

    1) Burke. What exactly is his purpose in the movie? His character is hardly written, and the general impression I get of him is that there was more intended for him to do but it ended up on the cutting-room floor. Not great considering he’s the one black guy in the movie.
    2) Screenwriters, new rule: if a character is an Atheist, he must NOT spend two minutes yelling at the sky for God to “prove himself” whenever things get tough. I fucking hate Hollywood Atheists.
    3) Likewise: if your protagonist is suicidal at the beginning of the movie, it doesn’t make him “deep”. It just makes him another cliche.
    4) I spotted scenes that immediately made me think of the following films: “Runaway Train”, “Frozen”, “The Thing”. (In fact this film has a lot in common with Carpenter’s masterpiece, not least because it’s an all-male cast menaced by an unseen threat while stuck in the snow.) Now I like all three of those films, but it doesn’t give “The Grey” the right to take one of the main characters’ deaths in “Frozen” and reproduce it exactly – even down to the camera angle that’s used when the death takes place.
    5) If we’re meant to see the wolf attack, let us SEE the wolf attack. Don’t hide it behind a shakycam blur. That shit pissed me off.







    Now, with all that being said… “The Grey” is still a pretty damn good movie. The script is very good; there are one or two bits that it could’ve done without (in particular the atheist’s rant to God, which annoyed me a lot) and I’m wondering if there was some producer interference in one or two places. I also think that Joe Carnahan, based on what I saw of “The Grey”, is not a first-rate director – that or he’s got second-rate editors working for him. This could definitely have been better in the hands of a Fincher, for example. Or even a Spielberg (although in that case Neeson’s character would probably be female and there’d be a couple of precocious kids along to teach the silly grown-ups what to do.)

    But this one gets a recommendation from me for the excellent character-work and the tension, largely caused by some fantastic sound-design and scriptwriting.

  82. As far as I know anybody who has been remotely into PC gaming HAS played SYSTEM SHOCK 2. Especially back in the late 90’s when the game was at it’s most relevant. Hell I’m a console bred gamer and only ever installed SYSTEM SHOCK 2 on my PC in the first place because of the constant insistence to “buy that shit” of my PC gamer friends back when I was in high school.

  83. Paul – well all I know is last year I played System Shock 2 after years of hearing that it was excellent and after I finished it I replayed Bioshock again (and for the first time on PC)

    and I learned that Bioshock is better in every way, I’m not saying that System Shock 2 is an awful game per se, but I just cannot for the life of me understand why people would say it’s better than Bioshock, it’s a hell of a lot harder and more complex (I would say needlessly so), but that doesn’t make it better

    and the difficulty is unfair in my opinion, not too far from the end of the game (the part where you fight The Many) I got to a point where I was literally screwed and had to cheat to see the rest of the game, I mean the game expected me to somehow fight dozens of really hard enemies and yet I had almost no ammo, thus making it literally impossible? not bloody likely

    there’s a difference between a game that is very challenging but also very fair (like say Super Castlevania 4) and a game where you can back yourself into a corner with literally no way to get out, that’s not challenge, that’s just bad game design

    and as far as the story and horror aspects of the game go, the story is just a combination of Alien and The Thing with Hal 9000 thrown in for good measure (I guess SHODAN is kind of cool, but that’s forgetting the fact that a killer AI is a huge cliche), it’s nowhere near as creative or interesting as the story and setting of Bioshock

    and I just didn’t find the game very scary either, I mean blocky, cheesy looking enemies pop out at you, ooh scary, I guess it does have some good jump scares but the atmosphere is NOTHING compared to Silent Hill 2

    but ya know, despite all that I didn’t completely hate the game, it has some cool levels and moments and I don’t regret playing the game, it was cool to see the origins of Irrational Games and I guess had I played it in 1999 my opinion probably would have been kinder, I just think this is yet another example of gamers letting nostalgia and snobbery cloud their judgement

    and before anyone accuses me of being a gaming simpleton let it be known that the original Deus Ex is in fact one of my favorite games of all time and I think it’s far better than Deus Ex: Human Revolution

  84. and I apologize for how the nerdy that post was

  85. Griff – did you pick up last month’s GAMES TM mag? It had a 17 page overview of the MGS series. Well worth a read.

    Also, New GI JOE: RETALIATION TV spot:


    It really does look a ton of fun – and now with 100% less Snake Eyes mouth.

  86. Sweet, a new potpourri thread! I know I am a month behind, but happy new year Vern and everybody else. I have been slammed at work and not had the free time I normally do to enjoy the site, so I have been catching up on Vern’s reviews but have not had the time to post much or contribute to any of the discussions.

    I am really digging the Speilberg review series.

    I wanted to share with you guys an event I will be attending here in Austin at the Alamo Draft House on the 25th. It is the Asian Invasion Hongkongathon. It is 10 hours of surprise programming feature classic and obscure Hong Kong genre films. If any of you live in Austin or close by and can still get a ticket I would recommend it. Here is a link to more info on the event.


    I know I am not much of a writer, but I will try and write a recap/review of the films they screen and the event.

  87. I was actually thinking of picking up the Metal Gear HD collection. I´ve always hated the second one Sons Of Liberty and it´s the only game I´ve played that I genuinely fuckin loathed, but since it´s been 10 years I feel it might be good therapy playing it again. It´s not Raiden´s fault that I hate it although, that bleech-haired Justin Bieber lookalike doesn´t help. It has extremely poor exposittion scenes that drags the game down, the most ugly looking location I have EVER seen in a game (Big Shell), stupid bossfights and annoying characters that just won´t shut the fuck up until they die ( Emma sure had it comin…) An Tactical Espionage Action?…it´s as tactical and subtle like a Godzilla movie….

  88. Charles – The Hongkongathon sounds awesome. I am jealous I can never attend these things. You gotta report back on what they showed and who showed up.

    Shoot McKay – MGS2 is still awful, bro, it really is. There’s a ton of articles online that seem detemined to give it some love purely because it was so “meta.”

    All I wanted was a straight-up sequel to MGS1 and what did we all get? A game that was indeed meta but also disingenuous, ponderous and flat out dull. Kojima came off as bored with his own creation.

    MGS 1 was meta enough for me – indeed, even now it still come across as fresh, clever and fun.

  89. You have good reason for optimism, Charles.

    I’m still waiting on ActionFest updates. The website is currently useless, except Aaron Norris bigging up stuntmen and the new Navy SEALs movie: http://actionfest.com/?p=1696

    Watching that ACT OF VALOR trailer, I hope they don’t try to make the Raven into a badass tool of the trade. I have bad memories of my Raven experiences.

  90. Karlos – I´m glad I finally found someone who share my thoughts on MGS2. I can´t find a single comment on the entire Internet that doesn´t tear that game a new one.

    I also only wanted a straight-up sequel. All the other Mg´s were up until that
    Can´t say I´m too pleased with part 4 either. I was not satisfied with how they tied things up. In fact I was surprised at the lazy writing at the end. Like a quick wrapup from episodic television.
    And what the hell did they do with the covermechanic. From being intuitive to being ARMY OF TWO!

    However MGS3 was a good one, felt like Kojima actually put gameplay in focus again. And MGS:GHOST BABEL on Game boy Color was also surprisingly good.

  91. Shit. talk about lazy writing..who am I to talk…? I meant that I can´t find any comments on the web that are other than extremely happy about the game.

  92. karlos, will do.

    I figure since the event is scheduled to run about 10 hours they are going screen around 5 or 6 films with fun stuff in between. That got me thinking if I were programming a Hongkongathon what 5 or 6 films would I screen? If you guys had to program a 10 hour 5 or 6 film Hong Kong action marathon what films would you guys choose?

  93. Metal Gear Solid 2 is actually one of my favorite games of all time and I think the story-line is one of the best, most mature and thought provoking in gaming history

    but I’m not in the mood to write out another long winded post right now

    I will say this though, how could you hate the basic gameplay? if you hate the cut scenes just skip them (it’s not that hard), but the gameplay itself took the sneaking of Metal Gear Solid and refined it to almost perfection, I’m genuinely perplexed there…

    and don’t flatter yourself into thinking you guys are among the few to criticize the story, a LOT of people didn’t like it, even after the game first came out, heck I remember reading complaints of the story in video game magazines years before I even had the internet (of course those pretty much all boiled down to “I hate Raiden”)

  94. The Secret Rivals-movies would be on my list or any movie with John Liu and Hwang Jang Lee….like Invincible Armour.Hmmm…. let´s see….. I´d probably would go for some kind of a theme for a marathon instead of just 5-6 random movies….

  95. man, you guys are really bringing out my video game fanboyism today

  96. Griff- I ´never said I hated the gameplay, just the other things I´ve mentioned in my post. Don´t mix me up with the other raging fanboys. My complaints with the character of Raiden are not with the character himself. I like the story arc of his character and what we find out about him. But seriously…look at that guy. That is not bad ass. The looks of Raiden is sissiness personified.He is an aestethic abomination!
    The gameplay is a huge improvement over the original game…WHEN YOU GET TO PLAY!! The whole fuckin´game comes to a halt after the tanker incident. Pointless codec interruptions destroy the flow of the gameplay ” Jack do you remember what day it is?” Yeah….I do. This is the day I told you to shut the fuck up! And the end turns into Zone of the enders (another game I can´t stand!). I mean JESUS! An endless wave of Metal gear and Raiden just swats them of like flies!! Kind of make Snake look bad when in previous games it´s fuckin hard to kill even one.Idiocy…
    And the Liquid/Ocelot development is so stupid I can hardly find the words. Seriously….Ok, so Ocelot needed a new arm after the first game so he gets Liquids arm. Liquid doesn´t need it since he´s dead,right? But,nooooo! He takes control over Ocelots body and it´s never explained how the hell that could actually happen! And it´s also weird where as in the second game… the voice actors of Ocelot and Liquid changes when it´s their character in command of Ocelot´s body. In MGS4, however,despite Liquid gaining full control over Ocelot´s body it´s Ocelot´s voice. Bullfuck I call it!
    But at least that´s not MGS2 fault, but the rather lame third sequel…. I could go on and on about this overrated sack of shit all fuckin´night!

  97. Griff – MGS2 just rubbed me up the wrong way, I guess. I wanted Snake and Meryl and I wanted a “real” follow-up to part 1. I soon realised I wasn’t getting that and it made me resentful.

    I didn’t actually mind Raiden, funnily enough. I’m looking forward to MGS RISING, in fact.

    Charles/Shoot – yeah, it’d be impossible for me to make any kind of definitive list. I’m awful with lists as it is, so to try and pick my all time fave 5 or 6 HK movies? I couldn’t do it!

    If I were to try and indoctrinate someone who was new to the HK film scene, I’d try to cover as many genres as possible.

    Get a Shaw’s in there, maybe an 80’s Jackie/Sammo flick, something from the new wave of the early 90s, a Hui Bros comedy, a supernatural flick and a heroic bloodshed film, too.

    Man, I miss the days when HK used to churn ’em out!

  98. F.Y.I. – I believe Tom Savini is going to be on Face Off tonight. (Again, the T.V. show. Not the Nic Cage movie)

  99. I sense a collective urge to move away from the gaming, but, well, balls.

    Griff: what about something like Crysis? Obviously the game is tremendously complex. This is a game where turning up the difficulty causes the enemies to stop speaking accented English and start speaking their native Korean. You know, because you were eavesdropping on them and hearing them say “move out!” and you knew you had to hide. Aside from having to worry about changing weapons, your high tech body armor can be put into four different modes augmenting speed, stealth, etc.

    At one point I was trying to penetrate a heavily guarded village surrounded by landmines. I fired a few shots to inform the enemies of my presence, and took note of where they trod as they fanned out to search for me. In such a way I was able to discern a safe path through the landmines.

    I think depth of gameplay is quite important and it’s absolutely a duty of fans of gaming to bitch and moan about material that fail to achieve it. A good deal of these modern games are just about getting you through the game; they’ve spent millions developing it and they are scared shitless that people will give up and not experience the content. Crysis isn’t really difficult but you can’t just romp through it, guns blazing; you gotta pause and think and apply creative reasoning.

    I mean, look at how complex all the Mario platformers are. The sword-play and acrobatics in the Prince of Persias. The puzzles in Myst or Grim Fandango. This is what makes these games best-of-genre material.

  100. Griff perhaps your age had something to do with your enjoyment. I forgive certain games I played when I was under 13 or whatever off the nostalgia of it all.

    By the time I played that game though I was a very blunt & somewhat cynical person just like any other 17 year old in NYC. The towers fell; friends lost some family; fuck the world. I needed a game to kick my ass and deliver pure escapism.

    GTA III was that game MGS2 which I expected to be was not. Not even close. I was a huge Kojima fan. Shit I was like the coolest muthafucka on the block for a week cause I had ZOE with the MGS2 demo on it.

    But even I could see the game for the piece of shit that it is. It’s the PHANTOM MENACE of video games. Technically competent but vastly sloppy and completely nonsensical for the wrong reasons when it comes to the other stuff.

    I hated that I technically played the game I looked forward to in the demo version. I would’ve welcomed a new lead if it wasn’t so damn sudden and Raiden wasn’t such a fucking pussy. Once we get back to playing as Snake I didn’t even feel it anymore.

    It hurt me to admit it but honestly everything about it outside of the gameplay sucked. The lead character; the villains; the convoluted built as it’s going along storyline. Which took it from the video game version of a bad ass b-action movie to boderline F list scify (ugh) channel terms. I don’t know man but I never thought a boss fight where I was fighting a fat dude on rollerblades planting bombs everywhere could be so goddamn lame for one thing. Don’t even get me started on the whole poorly executed Liquid Ocelot garbage.

    I never played that game ever again. Fuck it up it’s rotten ass. MGS3 on the other hand is a masterpiece. Then again it also brought back what we wanted in the sequel in the first place; playing as Snake Plissken in a video game basically.

  101. Shoot – Oh man the goddamn Codec.

    “Jack jack” “rose rose” TITANIC wannabe bullshit every 15 minutes. Then you have the stupid colonel eating your ear off with condescending “You’re not solid snake” bullshit at some point too. The funniest thing is when you find out he’s been an A.I. the whole time. LOL my cousin broke the PS2 controller when that shit started going nuts. So I give that scene some credit for the hilarious memory it caused. But still; playing this game was as fun as playing E.T. THE VIDEO GAME on the ATARI 2600 when I was like 4.

  102. Rehydrated Dehydrated Pirate Paul

    February 1st, 2012 at 7:21 pm

    Griff… I get your points… but it’s almost as though you expected SS2 to be a “straight shooter”, and were disappointed when it wasn’t. It’s all about ammo conservation, hypo conservation, good use of cybernetic modules, etc.

    That said, even playing on “impossible” difficulty, I don’t think I’ve ever run out of ammo. You just have to use melee when at all possible, and avoid combat occasionally. If you want a challenge, try taking on a rumbler in a straight melee fight (it’s possible, just pretty damn hard. I’d use the crystal shard, but for ultimate thrills, try it with the laser rapier.)

    I’ve never played Silent Hill 2, due to lack of Playstation, although I’ve always wanted to. I’ve heard of it, obviously, and I will bow to your expertise of how scary that is. I’ve played all the “Alone in the Dark” games except the last one, and as good as they are, they’re not “System Shock 2”.

    And how the fuck you got through the engineering tunnels without having the shit scared out of you is beyond me. Between the radiation, the annelids, the hybrids screaming for you to kill them, and Xerxes whispering “Accept it… accept it… accept it” in your ear every time you get close to him… sheesh.

    Oh, and if there’s ever been a more genuinely affecting videogame character than the “real” Polito, I haven’t come across them yet. The way that you follow in her footsteps, the way that you see her start to despair and break down as you get closer and closer to The Many… absolute genius. I actually don’t like the reveal of the “fake” Polito (it’s a little too much exposition) but the real Polito’s last message to you is one of the few moments I’ve had in a videogame that’s been genuinely affecting.

    As for nostalgia: the two “System Shock” games are the only games I’ve installed on every computer I’ve owned (which is four or five now). I still play them both today.

  103. Rehydrated Dehydrated Pirate Paul

    February 1st, 2012 at 7:32 pm

    Oh, and I hated GTA3. For two reasons, and two reasons only: no first-person viewpoint when you’re walking around (seriously, WHY would you do a shoot-em-up in the third-person and have the camera positioned the way GTA3 positions it? Tommy, your character, looks in the same direction as you point the camera… so to be able to get a wide-enough angle to SEE your enemies, you have to bring the camera right up, which means Tommy is aiming into the ground in front of him. That’s some horrible game design right there.)

    But the bigger problem… no auto-save key. Seriously. What excuse is there for a PC game to use fucking checkpoints? When I read that, I thought it was a bad joke.

    But it’s not. What was your favorite GTA3 moment? The one where you had to drive from your house to the guy giving you a “mission” for the hundredth fucking time because you can’t save your game once you leave it? The one where you ended up driving the mission car home at about ten miles per hour because you were afraid of rolling it and having to start the half-hour mission again? Etc, etc, etc… what a load of horseshit.

    Yeah, I spent 90% of my time with that game driving around in utter terror of getting “wasted” because I’d have to start the whole damn thing all over again, and the other 10% of it shooting at stuff I can’t fucking see because to get your character to fire “straight”, you have to put the camera at an angle where YOU CAN’T SEE WHAT HE’S FUCKING AIMING AT.

    Do you get the impression I was slightly frustrated with that game? I mean, such a great open world, but two horrible design choices and it all goes to shit.

  104. Weird question:

    How extensive is Carey Mulligan’s nudity in Shame? I really wanna see the film, but I have a hard time with Mulligan’s films because she looks a lot like The Clash of ex-girlfriends* and I always leave the theater feeling nostalgic for a years-old romance.

    Coincidentally, said Ex apparently now has a mohawk and oodles of eye makeup to match her large Stag-in-a-Celtic-Knot back tattoo. Might have to rechristen her “The Girl with the Stag Tattoo.”

    *The only one that matters.

  105. If by “extensive” you mean “do we get to see her mulligan” the answer is yes. However, if you just wanted to know the duration of nudity it was only a few seconds. I’m not sure it’s the kind of movie that would make anyone nostalgic for romance though.

  106. I just don’t wanna watch a bunch of sex scenes featuring an actress who looks a lot like someone I avoid to look at pictures of, ya know?

  107. Someone of whom I am reticent to look at pictures?

    Christ, there is no way to make that sentence coherent…

  108. Metal Gear Solid 2 was the first game I played in the series, so I went in unbiased, it was also the first game I ever played that had a real story to it, up until that point the only games I had played had been stuff like Crash Bandicoot, so imagine me going from very basic story lines to one as complex as MGS2’s, it blew my freakin’ mind…

    and what can I say? I just enjoyed all the crazy plot twists and confusion in a Memento kind of way, the part when the Colonel goes nuts scared the SHIT out of me, it’s one of my favorite moments in gaming history

    the important thing to remember is that it’s the first post modern video game, Kojima made a very conscious decision to NOT give people what they were expecting, if it pissed you off, well that was kind of the point and I can respect the gigantic balls it must have took to make that decision

    it’s overall a meta commentary on gaming as an artform, think of it as you would a David Lynch movie or something, if there can be room in movies to experiment why can’t there be room for that in video games?

    I guess now though I know how all the System Shock 2 fans feel, ah well, opinions and all that…

  109. I guess grown women want to relieve their youth.

    ““Titanic 3D” Valentine’s Day screenings reportedly sold out”


  110. American McGee’s Alice was the first game I ever played where I cared about the story.

  111. I’ve seen GET THE GRINGO too (when it was titled HOW I SPENT MY SUMMER VACATION). It’s a lot of fun. Definitely a riff on the Porter character in PAYBACK.

    Vern, did my review of the latest PARKER movie get taken down in the other potpourri thread or am I just not seeing it?

  112. Your Parker review should still be up, it’s just buried somewhere. I was gonna send the link to theviolentworldofparker.com but I had trouble loading it.

  113. Oh ok, cool. I tried to find it because I didn’t want to repeat anything I already said about GET THE GRINGO but I didn’t see it. Probably my own stupidity.

  114. Yep, definitely my own stupidity. I found it. Anyway, GET THE GRINGO is basically PAYBACK 2: MEXICAN PRISON. The main character is ruthless, cunning and determined, although he does reveal himself to have a heart so he’s more Gibson cut Porter Payback, than Hegeland cut Porter Payback (he also gets tortured…there’s actually a lot of torture in the film, including a little kid). They have some explicit nods to PAYBACK (at least in the rough cut I saw) including a montage of Gibson’s character (who I believe is nameless) pulling various scams, punctuated by him stealing money from a blind beggar. They also fill in Gibson’s background by mentioning how he got betrayed by a friend pulling a heist, and then the friend and his wife got together while he was in prison (not exactly like PAYBACK, but pretty close). The film is kind of schizophrenic. It tries to be gritty and realistic in some parts (with a lot of annoying grainy handheld work) and then has wacky shit like a grenade throwing slow motion gun battle where some assassins are shot like 30 times each before going down (might be trimmed as the film is fine-tuned), and another part involving hand grenades in an office building that’ll probably be a real crowd pleaser, but just annoyed me. It’s definitely a fun crime movie, I certainly recommend it, but it’s not great. It’s much better than EDGE OF DARKNESS though, so I’m sorry to hear it’s going straight-to-video-on-demand (I think?). It could be a solid comeback for Mel.

  115. TITANIC 3D may re-solidify the movie’s spot as the highest grosser of all time. I’m not surprised at those sold out screenings at all. That movie has such a tremendous power over vagina owners that it’s not a crazy thing to assume.

  116. Lambert you definitely sold me on the GRINGO movie. It wasn’t really on my radar; mostly cause I didn’t really like EDGE OF DARKNESS as much as I wanted to not cause Mel is a fucking prejudice nutjob. But now I’ll definitely peep since I loved both versions of PAYBACK. It’s nice to hear that Mad Mel is still be able to knock one out of the park for old time’s sake now a days.

  117. Griff – It’s really interesting that your first MG game was MGS2. If it had been mine it would’ve blown my mind, also.

    But spare a thought for us pre-existing fans, waiting patiently for 3 or 4 years, and then the sequel finally comes out…

    And Kojima gives us the opposite, more or less, of what we expecting.

    You’re right: ballsy move; but one that I resented then and still do.

  118. I actually ordered the MGS HD Collection so I´ll definitely play Sons Of Liberty ( Sons of Bitches as i like to call it ) for the first time in like 10 years. I remember playing that game a LOT because I wanted to love it but it never loved me back. So I probably will hate it just as much now. I just wish that Kojima could take his artsyfartsy pretentious horseshit and put it in a different kind of game than this. This may sound stupid, but even though I really hate it, the game is fun to play if you don´t have to fight these bossfights that are so boring (Fortune) or annoying (Vamp) and don´t get me started on that handholding bullshit with Emma or the extremely irritating underwater shit!

    But if I am going to play Sons of bitches again I´m afraid alcohol will be necessary…

  119. I might be doing something very nerdy tonight, which is attend “Kevin Smith: Live from Behind.” (Is that a White House foreign policy pun? I’ll have to alert Ryan Lizza to this.)


    **Submit your questions for Kevin to answer on event night via Twitter using the hashtag #livefrombehind.”**

    Vern, I’m thinking you or some of us talkbackers should tweet-ask Kevin Smith if he’s familiar with your work, what he thinks of it, if he considers himself something of an “outlaw filmatist,” something like that but cleverer & better worded for 140 characters.

    I’ve enjoyed what I’ve heard from Kevin Smith in other interviews & college storytelling sessions (the classic 20 minute “giant spider” anecdote, so hopefully this won’t suck.

  120. I don’t know if this is such a good idea, considering how Vern isn’t really known for being a fan of Smith’s body of work and how Smith has nothing but disgust for any kind of critics since a few years. It might turn into a 50 minutes long rant about how much Vern can fuck himself, which is in my opinion pretty unnecessary.

  121. Broddie- Yeah, MGS 3 is my favourite in the series too. It’s the best balance of gameplay and story of the lot, and don’t forget the kickass intro!

  122. Stu – It also has the single greatest boss battle in the entire series. That sniper battle against The End is pure poetic bliss once you really get into it. Very clever shit there from Kojima and so innovative and out there that I don’t think any other game has replicated anything like that since.

    So fellas what’s your take on the new GHOST RIDER? I skipped the first one even though I usually watch anything with Cage in it. I just really hate that director so much for destroying one of my favorite characters (Daredevil) that I couldn’t fathom what’d he do to another one in GR.

    Heard I didn’t miss much either but this new one has definitely got my attention because of course the CRANK guys are behind it. But also because Cage seems to be taking his mega acting to other heights on this one I mean just peep this quote here


    then there’s actual photographic evidence of the shit right here



    The man’s dedication to his craft NEVER fails to impress me. It’s a major reason why I can’t comprehend those anti-Nicolas Cage types at all. Seeing one of the most dedicated A-Lister’s around paired up with directors who always risk their lives for the sake of their art cause the artistic part is just way more important to them has definitely got me interested in this joint a whole lot.

  123. Stu- Ah Yes! The 007-esque opening to Snake Eater.Fantastic stuff! And THIS was the sequel we wanted in the first place….but then came part 4 and Kojima fucked up again. But in new ways. In part 4 there literally is good cause to complain about the length of the cinematics. They just keep dragging with very little happening at times. If Kojima wasnt the selfindulgent douchebag he is he probably would realise that he probalby should have streamlined the cinematics. In fact they are so horribly dull, they make MGS2 look like a fastpaced shooter.

  124. I decided to avoid ever playing MGS4 at any point in my life the moment one of my best friends told me “it’s much more SONS OF LIBERTY than SNAKE EATER”. The way I see it only the PSX/PS2 dualogy are valid when it comes to the MG games that have the word SOLID at the end. Those PSP MGS games were ok too

  125. Broddie – believe it or not by I found MGS4 being a much duller experience than Sons Of Bitches”. At least that game had some entertaining crazy shit. MGS¤ has not! Storywise it´s even worse! People say it´s the perfect farewell for Snake.! I call that bullshit. because SPOILERSPOILER!!



    …it ends in the exact same way as MGS1!! Maybe Snake´s gonna die, maybe he don´t!´He´s gonna start enjoying life,what is left of it and that´s it..oh and you would NOT believe who shows up in the final scene!! Oh yeah…Metal Gear Bullshit! My advice if you want to find out:

    Watch a Let´s play of it. That is almost what you do when you play the damn game anyway……..

  126. I saw the words “Snake Eater” and assumed you guys were talking about the seminal Lorenzo Lamas film saga. It’d be a lot cooler of you were.

  127. MGS4 wasn’t perfect, but I am glad I played it and saw Snake’s story come to an end, and there are a number of great moments:

    -Yeah, lots of cut scenes, but the Raiden battles are some of the best/most crazy action sequences in video games
    -The “Beauty/Beast” boss battles
    -Revisiting Shadow Moses in next gen glory
    -Piloting a Metal Gear
    -The Johnny subplot paying off after 4 games. Maybe they went overboard on what he accomplishes at the end, but it was nice that they followed through on doing something with a minor, but liked character
    -Snake’s lonely crawl through the microwave corridors. Really made the player feel the struggle Snake was going through

    I’m looking forward to METAL GEAR RISING as well. Some people think it’s sacrilege to focus on crazy over the top action rather than Stealth gameplay, but the game is more of a spinoff/new branch of the franchise than a true METAL GEAR SOLID installment.

  128. Mr Majestyk- I had to watch the trailer for that Snake eater movie you mentioned. And it´s pretty awesome. Need to watch that!


  129. Ok, before I stop ranting on Metal Gear, have anyone seen the Metal Gear Awesome series?:


  130. The second and third SNAKE EATERs are actually better. The second one has a wheelchair fight on the roof of an insane asylum and the third one has special guest star Bam Bam Bigelow getting killed by an electrified toilet. Obviously these are movies everyone needs to see.

  131. Mr. Majestyk – Damn bro you took me way back with that one. They used to give SNAKE EATER II damn near every friday night on Telemundo and my uncle and I used to catch that shit every single time. You haven’t lived till you’ve seen pre-RENEGADE Lamas dubbed in spanish. It was usually followed by that movie with Treat Williams as a functioning zombie and Joe Piscopo as his sidekick which we also sat through damn near every time.

    That’s definitely a movie series I’d like to see our resident Outlaw review one day. The sequels especially part 3 with Bam Bam are easily some of my favorite 90’s DTV gems. Right up there with MARTIAL LAW starring Jeff Wincott and NO RETREAT NO SURRENDER 3.

  132. Shoot – I just youtubed the ending. Damn yo my boy Naked Snake went out like a sucka. What a bullshit ass ending and shitty voice acting for a brilliant fucking character. Thank god I never bought a PS3 and played through that like I thought of doing before it’s relase cause I probably would’ve flung the controller at my plasma seeing that bullshit.

  133. MARTIAL LAW was with Chad McQueen, not Jeff Wincott. Are you sure you’re not thinking of MISSION OF JUSTICE? Because MISSION OF JUSTICE is the shit.

  134. No Majestyk I actually meant the sequel to MARTIAL LAW which had Wincott and the always awesome Cynthia Rothrock. MISSION OF JUSTICE rules though. Has my second favorite off-screen martial artist Vs. Matthias I COME IN PEACE Hues of all time. The first is in the Billy Blanks classic TALONS OF THE EAGLE. Jeff did have another similarly titled must see gem called MARTIAL OUTLAW; look into that one if you never caught it cause I think you’d appreciate it.

  135. *Hues scene

  136. Holy shit! Elmore Leonard’s THE SWITCH is finally being turned into a movie and John fucking Hawkes is going to play Louis. IMO that’s extremely inspired casting. I could definitely buy him as a younger DeNiro from JACKIE BROWN for sure. Mos Def is going to play non-Sam Jackson Ordell. I hope it’s the Mos Def that played the doctor in that HBO movie a few years back and not the one from 16 BLOCKS though.

  137. Thought I’d share with you this new Lurpak butter commercia voiced by Rutget Hauer. He’s been doing them for a few years now, though this one is particularly special:
    You’d think the combination of his voice and song would be creepy, but it strangely works.

  138. Rehydrated Dehydrated Pirate Paul

    February 2nd, 2012 at 7:41 pm

    Tawdry – Jake does not lie, Mulligan spends a lot of time wandering around with very little on, but there’s only one full nude scene.

  139. karlos – I guess I’m spoiled because only a few months after I played Sons of Liberty I got to play the original Metal Gear Solid and have my mind blown all over again, then I got to play Metal Gear Solid 2 again and have the story make more sense (and thus blow my mind AGAIN)

    it was like the gaming equalivet of having multiple orgasms

    I bought the HD collection back in November btw and played the entire series (including and Metal gear Solid), so it’s all very fresh on my mind

    I love Snake Eater as well, in many ways it’s the best of the series (though not my personal favorite)

    and I like Metal Gear Solid 4 just fine, but it’s far from the best of the series, the storyline is like the opposite of 2 because instead of Kojima doing what he wants he gives what he thinks the fans want and a lot of the story ends up feeling pretty forced

  140. Am I the only one, who is missing the good ol’ point & click adventure, like MANIAC MANSION, FLIGHT OF THE AMAZON QUEEN and Co? It seems like they stopped doing them a while ago. At least I can’t remember any newer ones.

    Anybody into old school computer game programming? We should do one. Maybe something about a loose cannon cop who is busting a group of communist Ninja traffickers.

  141. CJ Holden – yeah, you would like point and click adventures considering you’re German, wouldn’t you? (I’ve heard that point and click adventures are HUGE in Germany)

    I kid, I kid

    anyway Adventure games and me have a history, I’ve always WANTED to really enjoy them, but I just can’t get into them and the reason why is I suck really hard at them

    I love the humor and writing in the games, but I just suck at the puzzles, the problem is they’re not really based around logic but trying to “think like the developers”

    every adventure game I try (and I’m talking about the Lucasarts ones mostly) always goes the same way, I try my ass off to figure shit out and then eventually give up and check gamefaqs, but constantly going on gamefaqs is no fun, so with rare exception I usually get frustrated and give up, I mean those puzzles in the Lucasarts games are fucking HARDCORE, when I look up the solution it’s usually something I never would have figured out on my own

    another part of the problem is I don’t have the patience, there’s so many other games I could be playing and it irritates me when an hour or more goes by and I haven’t made any progress, it’s too much of a time-sink

    that’s why I loved Psychonauts so much because it took Tim Schafer’s style and humor and put them in a game I could actually play

    but hey, I refuse to give up though, maybe one day it’ll click

  142. CJ: true dat dude. I shouted out on Grim Fandango on an early post. It’s a rich genre. LucasArts did several fantastic ones, the artwork on them is astounding to this day. I read a piece on them recently and they noted that they did so much with so few pixels. Vibrant, lyrical colors and shit.

    I also played a Blade Runner game in this mold, it was great; you got to zoom in on the photos and they gave you clues.

    I think the only modern game to attempt it was Heavy Rain. This was essentially a point and click adventure adapted for console controls, but it’s still the same thing where it has no actual *gameplay* but rather you are navigating a series of quicktime events as it were. I was unable to get into that game however, for some reason I couldn’t shake the feeling that it was like watching a DVD but you constantly had to push some buttons on your controller to unpause it.

  143. renfield – it’s weird that you mention Heavy Rain because I literally just posted a review of that afew hours ago

  144. I remember writing text adventures on my Amiga 500 (AmigaBasic!FTW!) and in one of them I had a feature I´d call M.A.L.S. It meant MultAutomaticLevelSkipper.

    It was brilliant. Whenever you finished a section, the computer asked you if you´d like to skip the next one. This was way before EA started with their gimmicky shit. Personally I don´t think my gimmick was any worse then theirs…..

  145. But I did suck at programming, at the end of the game the game asked you if you wanted to go home after your adventure. It read like this on the screen if one played it:



  146. Another special thing was done by Tim Schaefer of Grim Fandango fame. Psychonauts began its life as one of these point and clicks, but then at the 11th hour or something they reworked it into a 3D platformer a la Mario 64.

    It’s about a summer camp for psychic kids. The gimmick is that you have this little door you can slap on people’s foreheads and them jump into their brain. The levels are the characters’ subconscious minds and they have different physics and geometric properties and etc.

    Here’s an example of how nuts the game gets. You have this epic battle against a giant Lungfish. You fight him underwater in this giant air bubble that is the fish’s breath. He inhales and exhales and the bubble shrinks and grows and also propels you towards and away from the monster. The monster also moves so the battle arena itself is constantly shifting over different geography.

    BUT afterwards, you jump into Lungfish’s head, and a sequence ensues in which you are a giant Godzilla child in an entire miniature Lungfish civilization. As you wreak havoc on their metropolis, lungfish newscasts interrupt you and detail the widespread cultural effects of your assault, including growing public distrust in the government’s ability to resolve the crisis. I swear this is real, I couldn’t make it up if I tried.

    At another point you pop into this schizophrenic milkman’s head, and it’s this bent Pleasantville suburb that looks like MC Escher drew it, or like Ellen Paige dreamwove it under DiCaprio’s tutelage. It is filled with 50’s red scare type G-men who are badly trying to disguise themselves as suburban city workers, and if you penetrate their facade they interrogate you about the possible whereabouts and activities of The Milkman.

    Exquisite little Tim Schaefer character details. For example there’s this girl at the camp with you, obviously your love interest, who won’t give you the time of day. As your psychic abilities become honed you occasionally ESP her thoughts and in between bitching you out she thinks “just shut up and kiss me!”

    Also it’s really fun to play, with great double-jump platforming and bunch of psychic powers like telekinesis.

  147. yeah renfield, I know, I played it (and mentioned that)

  148. Wow, people are awake? It must not be 5:30 am everywhere in the world…

    Griff, I just watched all episodes of Panty and Stocking with Garterbelt (plus the OVA). Dizzyingly, triumphantly awesome stuff. It has been a long time since I’ve seen an anime this good, where the creators obviously view any moment where something incredible didn’t happen as a wasted moment.

  149. Renfield- here in Sweden it´s 2.30 in the afternoon,cold as shit outside you´ll literally freeze your nuts off if you stay out too long. Better to be indoors and discuss awesome shit with all you guys.

    Speaking of Schaeffer, wasn´t he producer of BRUTAL LEGEND with Jack Black? Awesome soundtrack, but when the game veered away from GTA thirdperson action to RTS, I fuckin´tuned out.

  150. Yeah same dude. Also more recently Costume Quest and Stacking. Stacking is pretty special.

  151. griff i think i missed your post about psychonauts because i was too busy rampaging on my keyboard. But the credit is yours good sir.

  152. renfield – I still haven’t seen the rest of Panty and Stocking, only the first 7 episodes I think, I’m waiting to see if it’ll ever get a blu ray here

    but from I saw I loved

  153. oh and for the uninitiated, Panty and Stocking is an anime about two women who can turn their underwear into weapons and use them to fight monsters, but the art style is less like a traditional anime and more like something you’d see on Cartoon Network in the 90’s

    it’s as strange as it sounds, also completely awesome

  154. Yeah it really scratched my itch Griff, thanks for the rec. I haven’t seen any good anime in quite a while….I never really recovered from 40+ episodes of Death Note disappearing up its own asshole.

    I love how several episodes in you find out that their first names are Anarchy Panty and……Anarchy Stocking?? And how it cuts to this totally different, way more serious and traditional-anime style of drawing sometimes when they take off their undies.

  155. Rehydrated Dehydrated Pirate Paul

    February 3rd, 2012 at 10:23 am

    CJ – amazingly, given Griff’s thoughts on “System Shock 2” (which once again provide more evidence that he is, in fact, a spambot, slightly more clever than the rest, but clearly incapable of human emotion) – I agree with him. I might be the one guy on earth who didn’t like “Beneath a Steel Sky”. Yeah, the robot was funny and the world was well-developed, but the whole thing just stank of “so what”? When you think that it only came out a few years before the original “System Shock”… I mean, compare the “cyberspace” parts of both games and you see how advanced SS really was, even if it looks extremely dated by today’s standards.

    But point and click adventures in general… I don’t get along with them. I bought “The Longest Journey” not so long ago, and while I appreciate the gimmick of having every single useful item appear completely useless (there’s a bread roll, a piece of chewed gum, etc) and I thought the story / characters were great, April’s appearance is downright freakish and I just didn’t enjoy the puzzles. If you don’t enjoy the gameplay of a game, it’s difficult to appreciate the story.

  156. I don’t know if there’s any love out there for the Kane & Lynch games but damn it, I dig the hell out of them – well, mostly the first one.

    They sell incredibly well in the face of mediocre reviews yet I literally know no-one who has them or has any time for them.

    What say you, my gaming brethen?

  157. Rehydrated Dehydrated Pirate Paul

    February 3rd, 2012 at 10:56 am

    Oh, and “Chronicle” has been released everywhere. When I first saw the trailer for this film, no joke, I honestly thought it was an Orange ad or something. It was so utterly cliche’d and amateurish-looking, I thought it was a parody. Now it turns out that it’s an actual film, and there are actually people who really like it. WTF?

    Anybody got any info on this?

  158. I played both of the KANE & LYNCH games. I was mostly pissed off at the second one with it´s shaky cam and censored violence ( BULLSHIT 101), but the multiplayer seems interesting. The Heist Mode especially.

  159. Yeah, these point & click adventures aren’t for everyone and can be damn annoying, but are also at the same time very rewarding and often have a great story. I still prefer them over the gazillionsth 1st person shooter. (Nothing against 1st person shooters. I know some good ones.)

  160. Paul- I just got back from CHRONICLE. It wasn’t really on my radar, but I looked up a few pretty positive reviews about it today and just decided to go see it. It’s really good. The trailer for it wisely keeps a lot of the really good stuff out of it. I dunno what you mean by amateurish looking, because it is one of those “found footage” movies(thought not exactly, but I’ll get to that in a moment), so it’s supposed to look non-professional. Anyway, if you’ve seen the trailer you know the basic story is 3 high school seniors find a mysterious thing that grants them with fantastical powers, and while they initially use them just to goof around and have fun, one of them eventually goes mental. So yeah, it’s a bit predictable as a story and there’s a number of cliches (the one who goes mental, Andrew, is the socially inept one who has a mountain of shit piled on him to make him snap, from a number of stock high school douchebags picking on him, to having a dying mother, and a drunken abusive asshole dad), but I think the execution is really well done, especially as a found footage movie. It seems the creators (the writer is John Landis’ son btw) saw how they could take advantage of that genre, but they also clearly know what the problems are that usually plague it, and they take the appropriate steps to avoid it:
    1. Shaky Cam. Early on, before they all get powers, the way it’s shot is naturally pretty coherent and clear. Afterwards, they establish that when the guy needs his hands free, he just uses his power to levitate the camera and film him and the other guys, and keeps it pretty clear and steady. Also allows for a few things new to be done with this genre with how he’ll often have the camera hovering a few meters above them and looking down.
    2. Being confined to a single camera. They aren’t. While most of the film is told through Andrew’s camera’s POV, they also use other camera views, like CCTV, News Reports, Police Cameras, other people’s camera footage. It’s not so much a “found footage” movie as a “footage” movie, and it’s refreshing that the movie is just the footage, with no opening text saying “This camera was found in the ruins of blah blah blah” or anything like that, which does actually allow for more of a proper resolution at the end rather than the more ambiguous mystery endings these things tend to have. Admittedly there’s a couple of contrived instances of the extra cameras in the film (one of the guys has a love interest who films stuff for her blog, including conversations at her front door, and there’s a tripod camera in a hospital room for vaguely established reasons later on).
    I think the 3 main guys put in a pretty good performance, which is handy as most of the movie is about them bonding and developing their powers. While Andrew is like I said a bit of a cliche put upon emo, the guy playing him does a good job of making him sympathetic, though he gets a bit “ranting supervillain” in the climax, considering those around him “weak” parts of the “food chain” and himself the “Apex Predator” (no, RRA, he doesn’t claim to hear VOICES IN HIS HEAD or hit RKOs out of nowhere). The other 2 are also pretty likeable. Andrew’s cousin Matt is more normal than him, but he’s tried to not get caught up in high school popularity and cliques, and this film doesn’t hesitate to make him look like he’s trying to be a little bit of a pretentious poseur at a few points, quoting Carl Jung and philosphy that falls flat. The third guy, Steve, is a jock, and running for Class President, and seemingly the most popular guy in school(the latter I don’t tend to see black actors playing in movies, so that was cool), who actually wants to go into politics and is actually pretty friendly to Andrew from the start. So I liked how they didn’t have to warm up to each other over time, but instead bond pretty quickly, especially over the secret their sharing. I found the scenes they’re pranking pretty fun and it’s easy to see why they’d enjoy each other’s company doing them.
    You’ll have seen in the trailer that they use their powers moving stuff with their minds, with a bit of the climax where Seattle is getting torn up in a battle, and I’ll say I’m pretty impressed with how the special effects are used, especially considering the movie only had a $15 million budget. Most of it is smaller stuff that feels pretty real, like them practicing putting lego blocks together, or when they fake a magic show. But what really wowed me was the flying scenes. I think yeah, the movie could have been done just as a more straightforward movie instead of the camcorder thing, but I actually think it’s better this way. A bigger budget would have probably changed the story to spend more time on multiple perspectives, the romance sub plot and would have probably resulted in more, bigger, SFX which would have been more fake, putting the movie more in the vein of I AM NUMBER FOUR, PUSH and other “people have special powers because they’re psychic or aliens or some shit” movies that went easily ignored. And one of the leads would have probably been Taylor Lautner or something. Going “found footage” they get to do some new things with that approach, while side-stepping all that other stuff.


    I’ll be seeing CHRONICLE later today.

    Until then, I find these photoshopped images humorous:

  162. I think I’m going to see THE INNKEEPERS. I was planning to wait until DVD but then Ti West shamed me in an interview on the AV Club where he basically said that if you want more decent horror movies you actually have to, like, go see them when they come out. Huh.

  163. More details on that DEATH WISH remake… More like the version Sidney Lumet might have made with Jack Lemmon? Featuring two brothers (one of whom could be Russell Crowe)? Liam Neeson in there somewhere (sure, why not)?


  164. So wait it’s like DEATH WISH by way of DOUBLE DRAGON?

    Uhh…ok Joe C.

    Whatever helps get KILLING PABLO made I guess.

  165. My copy of ROLLING THUNDER on Blu-ray arrived today and it’s well worth getting.

    It’s nowhere near as clean as other blu-rays I’ve seen but it’s fitting somehow – this film shouldn’t be pristine, it should be a little rough around the edges.

    The extras are slim – there’s a trailer (with or without Eli Roth commentary), a recent interview with actress Linda Haynes (god damn it, time, cut that aging shit out) and, easily the best thing, a commentary with co-writer Heywood Gould.

    I’m about half way thru the film with this on and there’s some little gems of info in there, including a lot of stuff on the director, John Flynn.

    He beat the shit out of Jan Michael Vincent, apparently.

    Anyway, make sure you can play UK region B discs if you’re picking this up on import.

  166. Started playing Sons Of Liberty as part of the MGS HD package and I am really impressed on quite a few things at this point. The fact that the entire screen is utilizedin cutscenes is one, the warmer richer colours of Big Shell is another. The flat coloors of BIg Shell in the original version struck me even then as boring, but I have to say it looks really good! I am not quite as mad at the game even though I am playing as Raiden. I´m defusing the bombs right now. It seems as when time pass by so does your opinions.I still find it strikingly out of place apart from the Tanker chapter, but I figure Kojima wanted to start the game in familiar territory before unleashing his controversial beast.

  167. I actually saw Rolling Thunder once and I just didn’t like it at all, can someone please tell me why that movie’s supposed to be good?

    karlos – I like the Kane and Lynch games, I played them both last year for the first time, I don’t really understand why both games got bad reviews…

    I liked the whole “youtube video” gimmick of the second game a lot

    IO Interactive is one of my favorite developers, I love the Hitman series (can’t wait for the next one)

  168. because in my opinion iRolling Thunder is really not a good movie

    it has bad acting, a ridiculous plot (why didn’t the bad guys just kill him? they already murdered his family) and is overall just your average 70’s B-movie that has somehow gained a reputation as a lost classic, huh?

  169. Check out Paul Schrader’s original script to ROLLING THUNDER. Travis Bickle makes a cameo. Seriously!

  170. In film criticism news, filmfreakcentral.net’s most esoteric reviewist Alex Jackson just announced his retirement from movie writing.

    If you are not familiar with Jackson’s own site ividdiedit.com (as in, “i viddied it on the screen”) I recommend you check it out. Of interest, for example, is what amounts to a senior thesis on the Friday the Thirteenth series. Now I caution you that this guy embodies a lot of what some people hate about film criticism and “over-analysis” but I think maybe the Vern community can appreciate the notion of holding horror, action, b-movies, etc accountable to a heirarchy of intellectual discussion just the same as the Oscar stuff. Since, you know, that is a fair description of Vern’s methodology as well.

  171. A priceless line from above reviewer discussing Rob Zombie’s first two pictures:

    “Ultimately though, it was necessary for Zombie to make House of 1000 Corpses. He was so filled with a lust for moviemaking that he really needed to just jack off and clean out the pipes so to speak, get it out of his system. Now with The Devil’s Rejects Zombie is ready to fuck.”

  172. Russell Crowe & Liam Neeson ARE…


    I like it.

  173. Like most John Flynn thrillers Rolling Thunder is a classic because it’s a movie for grownups. Starring grownups. The action is intense and violent, and it has seriously influenced action directors for years. John Woo for instance stole everything from Flynn. Without The Outfit, Defiance and Rolling Thunder there would be no A better Tomorrow, The Killer or Hard-Boiled. And as we all know he did a lot of good for our man Seagal’s career with Out for Justice.

  174. Right on, Pegsman.

    I actually prefer ROLLING THUNDER to TAXI DRIVER (which I also love, don’t get me wrong).

    Re-watching it the other night what strikes me the most is the sub-text of Devane and Jones being “dead”, and only briefly coming back to life when they kill.

    They even wear their uniforms when they retaliate, because they are soldiers, and they need war.

    The discussions on post-war trauma are incredibly brave for the time, and there’s a sense of hopelessness shot right thru the whole movie.

    Griff, you’re right – it is a plot point that they simply don’t kill him.

    Also, as others have pointed out, why kill a woman and child for such a small amount of money? My thoughts on that is, it’s the symbol they’re after: he’s seen as a hero and, although at least some of them also fought in Vietnam, they are not. They are taking his “reward” for themselves.

    I’m gonna have to look up Schrader’s original script – a Travis Bickle cameo? Mind, meet blown.

  175. re: the villains in Rolling Thunder, I think the fact that they killed and maimed over a relatively small amount of money is what makes the whole situation scarier and dare i say “relatable”. And by relatable I mean obviously I’ve never been a POW, but i do own a modest home and every time i have to stick my hand down the garbage disposal i think of that cringe-worthy scene.

    But yeah, Griff, I can see how you’re underwhelmed, it’s a very simple, straightforward movie, lean and mean, and it might have been a victim of the Tarantino-era hype machine.

  176. Damn, I can’t find a copy of the script online anywhere. Anyway, Rane goes to a drive-in showing DEEP THROAT (did drive-ins show porno in the 70s?) and he nods to a fellow wearing a cowboy shirt and cowboy boots. Then Schrader explicitly writes something to the effect of, “You might recognize this character as Travis Bickle from another screenplay I have circulating now called TAXI DRIVER.” No lie. It’s such a strange thing to see in a screenplay, and I like the idea of a Schraderverse where all of the characters converge (I think someone made the joke that in the background you could hear Jake VanDorn screaming, “That’s my daughter!”). If you can find the Schrader script, check it out. It has less of the exploitation elements of the final product. There’s also a lot more racism and a lot less sympathy for the main character. It’s definitely not some lost masterpiece screenplay though.

  177. For any reason I wish more filmmakers would turn their body of work into a fictional microcosm. I mean, how many do this? Kevin Smith obviously and I heard Spike Lee’s latest one has a cameo by Mookie. The Coens did it to an extent, by mentioning Hudsucker in some of their movies.

    There is also that German guy Peter Thorwarth. He made one great movie named BANG BOOM BANG (which Vern should really review, but unfortunately there is no English dubbed or subtitled version available, as far as I know. Just some shitty fansubs.) and in his not so good follow up WAS NICHT PASST WIRD PASSEND GEMACHT you see a crucial scene of BANG BOOM BANG happening in the background. And his next movie, the even less good GOLDENE ZEITEN has even some of the BANG characters returning. (And as highlight a surprisingly great performance by Dirk Benedict! Yes, Dirk Benedict!)

    Okay, shit like that can be very distracting, but I always found that kind of world building very interesting.

  178. David Lambert – You know what Schrader script I would love to read? His CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE THIRD KIND draft that allegedly was very pseudo-religious symbolic, with the revelation that UFOs have caused all the Biblical miracles in the past or something insanely fascinating. Anyway, Spielberg hated it and rewrote it himself.

    (Am I the only one who liked Schrader’s DOMINION movie? I just don’t get the hate that it gets. I especially don’t get it when people say it’s no better than Renny Harlin’s version. Boo fuckers, boo!)

  179. CJ-There’s of course Tarantino’s world building. Mr Blonde is Vic Vega, brother of Vincent from PULP FICTION. Donny Donowitz from INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS is the grandfather of the director Lee Donowitz in TRUE ROMANCE. Tarantino also puts in fictional brands in his movies like the Red Apple cigarettes, and Big Kahuna Burger is mentioned in FROM DUSK TILL DAWN. Then there’s the character of Earl McGraw, who’s either a multiversal constant, or is the same guy who has seen a lot of shit going down in his life.

  180. Also, I wonder if the Samurai Sword from PULP FICTION was a Hatori Hanzo?

  181. Some joke about the briefcase’s contents should be made here, but what would be in it? There are essentially no interesting physical objects in the Tarantino movies. Maybe it was Gwyneth’s head from Se8en.

    (That wasn’t a typo by the way, that was WIT.)

    What’s the going theory for that briefcase anyways. It’s Marcellus Wallace’s soul, right?

  182. The specific films that the lawyer spambots are targeting (CRASH, BLOOD & BONE, DIE HARD, AMERICAN NINJA…) is giving me the high giggles…

  183. Yeah, I forgot about Tarantino. (Although to be honest, outside of the McGraws and Red Apple cigarettes I didn’t know any of these things you listed, because I tend to not care for anything he does.)

  184. I keep hearing that the Red Apple cigarettes were in Romy and Michelle’s High School Reunion, since he was dating Mira Sorvino at the time, yet i’ve never seen them. Can anyone confirm this? (I remember there actually being a closeup of the cigarette that Janeane Garofalo invents but I’m pretty sure it’s not Red Apple)

    And on a related note, I’ve always pointed out how iconic alot of the character names are in my favorite movies. Just say the word Riggs or McClane or Ripley or Hicks/Vasquez/Hudson or Mac or Blaine and everyone immediately knows who the hell you’re talking about. But Romy and Michelle is one of my favorite movies of all time, I’ve seen it probably 10 times, and I have never really bothered to figure out who is Romy and who is Michelle. It might be the only movie like that.

  185. Rehydrated Dehydrated Pirate Paul

    February 4th, 2012 at 4:09 pm

    Holy fucking shit, I just saw a movie that I had worse than zero expectations of, and enjoyed the crap out of it. How’d that happen?

    I will say a big “fuck you” to whoever laid out the ENTIRE PLOT OF THE MOVIE IN THE FUCKING TRAILER though. I had thought there’d be a last-minute switch up or something, but no, it really is all there.

    Thanks for the “Chronicle” recommendations guys. It’s “Fast / Furious 5” all over again. Except I’d probably rewatch “Chronicle”. As much as I enjoyed “Fast / Furious 5”, once was enough for that one.

    “Young Adult” has just come to cinemas. Worth watching? It’s got great reviews on AICN, but then so did “Mission: Impossible 3”. Plus it’s by the writer who did “Juno” yet is nothing like “Juno”, they say, which is all well and good except I loved “Juno” and I don’t want to see yet another cliche’d overhyped American “comedy” starring a hyperactive douchebag who needs to learn to be responsible, and a chronically depressed fuckwad who needs to learn to enjoy life. That’s not the vibe I’m getting from this movie, but still… should I avoid it?

  186. Rehydrated Dehydrated Pirate Paul

    February 4th, 2012 at 4:19 pm

    Ok, adding “Chronicle” to my running total of films seen at the cinema (I might go for a record this year):

    “The Silence” – fantastic arts film about the hunt for a murderous pedophile. One annoying character, but apart from that, great.
    “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo” – second-rate Fincher is still better than first-rate almost anybody else.
    “Margin Call” – Probably the best film I’ve seen this year so far, although there’s been enough good ones already that it’s a tough call. Kevin Spacey was robbed of a “best supporting actor” nomination BTW.
    “Shame” – very very weird, and you have to be in the right frame of mind to see it. A few annoying “art film” touches that kinda detracted from it. Otherwise, very good. Also contains Michael Fassbender’s cock. (I don’t believe I’ve mentioned that before, so better make a note of it here.)
    “The Grey” – well, it’s better than “Haywire”. Great when the cast are sitting around talking. Less so when shit actually goes down. Very, very tense film though. I liked it a lot, didn’t love it.
    “Haywire” – it was ok, but it’s Soderburgh, with everything negative that implies. Didn’t think much of the characters, thought the actors were largely wasted, and why the hell wasn’t there somebody for Carano to have a good scrap with at the end of the movie? That’s like having “Kill Zone” without Jing Wu.
    “Chronicle” – this might be one of the biggest surprises of the year for me. Like “Fast Five”, I went into it fully expecting that I might hate it, and actually thought it was really good. The three main actors are all great, the characters are great, the dialogue is great, and some of it is surprisingly creepy (the bit with the spider in particular springs to mind).

  187. Rehydrated Dehydrated Pirate Paul

    February 4th, 2012 at 4:24 pm

    And I still haven’t seen anything close to a bad film this year yet. Either my preconceptions are affecting my opinions of movies way more than I thought they did (I don’t go into a movie if I think it’ll be bad), or I’ve got really, really good at avoiding the stinkers. I mean, the movie I’ve had the most problems with so far is “Haywire”, and I was very far from hating it. If THAT’S the worst movie I see these two months, it’s a pretty damn good two months!

    Having seen a single really bad film at the cinema, come to think of it, since “Buried”. And I very much doubt anything’s gonna top that one for a long, long time.

  188. Vern, may i know what new material will be added in your updated version of SEAGALOGY: THE ASS KICKING FILMS OF STEVEN SEAGAL on April 3rd?

  189. An amusing, random as hell surprising chart success headline this week:

    “Prince #1 on UK Dance Chart”


    Yeah you’re not the only one baffled by this. “Dance 4 Me,” a single from a 3 year old CD that didn’t exactly set the world on fire. Even I the supposed “fan” wasn’t even aware of it’s re-release. Thus I’m not aware of how much hype or marketing (if any) actually went into that. So probably it to a degree became #1 from the grassroots, from getting constant play at the clubs by DJs. So that’s awesome.*

    A perfect contrast with another mega pop star from his generation, Madonna, who’s label is pulling all the stops and deploying all the bells and whistles to get her new bullshit to sell big and quickly,(Which it will) and that damn halftime show which I guarantee will be a train wreck. Even if you try, you won’t escape “Give Me All Your Luvin.” Trust me, I tried. Not even Mouth and his badass training could escape that machine. That bitch will seek you out in any cave you try to hide in.

    But “Dance 4 Me”? Easily avoidable if you choose to, but you wouldn’t necessarily regret it if you don’t.


    *=Its actually Prince’s first chart published #1 hit song in either USA or UK since “The Most Beautiful Girl in the World.” Way to go Midget Psycho Grandpa.

  190. CJ Holden – I absolutely LOVE that kind of stuff and like you I wish more filmmakers would do it

    I mean I love that there’s a “Tarantino-verse” and I wish I lived there

    that’s one reason I love Stephen King so much, not only do his books cross reference each other all the time, but they all take place in the Stephen King “multiverse” tied together by the Dark Tower series

  191. I still hate how Randall Flagg was killed off.

  192. Kill List is a weird fucking film

  193. I’ll soon be catching a jet plane to DC for a swanky Super Bowl soirée, followed by a few days in Maui for an inter-branch techie conference, which should involve me revamping some sailors’ comms equipment in the mornings and “accidentally” throwing my football at beach babes in the afternoons so that they’ll talk to me in the clubs in the evenings, followed by a week of Mardi Gras in New Orleans, which scares me a little, to be honest.

    It is going to be a good February. See y’all on the other side.

  194. Griff- Not so much a Tarantino-verse as a Tarantino-Rodriguez-and-Miscellaneous-Verse. The Hatori Hanzo character in Kill Bill for instance is meant to be the descendant of character played by Sonny Chiba from a tv show called “Shadow Warriors”. And Pai Mei was a Shaw Brothers villain.

  195. CJ:

    Redhook Summer has more than a cameo from Mookie. From what I understand, he’s a full fledged character in this one.

  196. Bret Easton Ellis is my favorite interconnected storyteller of the modern era.

    Less Than Zero stars Clay,

    who goes to college at Camden and becomes, “The Guy from LA” in Rules of Attraction, which focuses of 4 main characters including Sean Bateman. At one point in the story, Sean goes to visit his older brother Patrick Bateman,

    who is the protagonist (?) of American Psycho. In American Psycho, several of the minor artsy kids from Camden show up at a dinner party.

    Then, in Glamorama, Victor – the boy that the virginal protagonist of Rules of Attraction lusts over while he is on a wild trip through Europe – becomes an A-list model and an international terrorist.

    In Lunar Park, the main character is an author named B.E.E. who made a career out of writing thinly veiled autobiographies of his sex life and violent desires. After washing out in a cocaine haze, he moves in with an actress and tries to get his life together, only to discover that a psychotic fan has begun to go around LA reenacting the murders from American Psycho. The detective interviewing him about the case also appears to be the fictional detective portrayed by Willam DeFoe in American Psycho. (The first 20 pages of Lunar Park are perhaps Ellis’s finest moment as he writes a ‘real’ biography that is completely fictional as a response to the accusation that his previous novels were little more than fictionalized versions of his real life).

    Finally, in the deeply underwhelming Imperial Bedrooms, Clay returns as the protagonist. But, this isn’t a sequel to Less Than Zero, it’s a meta-cognitive followup set in a world where Less Than Zero was a thinly veiled ‘fiction’ about a of a group of friends that was made into the late 1980s movie. Clay, who did not write this novel, has gone on to become a famous screenwriter and spends his days working on what appears to be an adaptation of Ellis’s novel, “The Informers” (which otherwise does not connect to this multi-verse). Characters who died in the film Less Than Zero are still alive… but some of them die again. At the end of the novel, Ellis writes an epitaph, “B.E.E. 1988-2010.” implying that he is done with novel writing.

    In real life, He’s moved on to screenwriting. Coincidentally enough, Paul Schrader is about to direct a movie Ellis wrote called, “Bait.” It deals with a young poolboy working at a resort who feeds rich vacationers to man-eating sharks as part of a revenge plot.

  197. Rehydrated Dehydrated Pirate Paul

    February 4th, 2012 at 8:39 pm

    Mike – that it is, brother. That it is.

  198. Tawdry – wait a minute, Bret Easton Ellis isn’t going to write any books anymore?

    I haven’t read any of his books yet, but that’s a shame

    I was aware of the Sean/Patrick Bateman connection, but not the others, very interesting…

    makes you wonder what the Bateman’s childhoods and parents were like if they turned out so messed up

  199. Ellis claimed that American Psycho was about his father when he was touring for Lunar Park, but then he claimed that it was about himself when he was touring for Imperial Bedrooms. If I recall correctly, you *do* see bits and pieces of his family history in Rules of Attraction and American Psycho. They’re old money. Mom is a drunk, dad is not present. But it’s been a while.

    I highly recommend American Psycho, Rules of Attraction and Lunar Park. The others are well written, but beyond the cool meta stuff in Imperial Bedrooms, that novel is basically an admission that the well has run dry.

    Thing is, I don’t even like Ellis’s stories for the most part, I just like the way he assembles words on the page. The man writes gorgeous sentences.

    I’ve read American Psycho two or three times and listened to the book on tape 3 or 4 times. The book on tape is a completely different experience, actually. It feels much more transgressive to hear the words aloud, and you can’t skim over the 20 page descriptions of Whitney Houston and Phil Collins’ catalogs. Nor the endless lists of name brands, nor the dozens of kinds of meatloaf. Or the bit where he shoves a starving rat into a habitrail attached to a prostitute on the other end.

    “Killing a Child at the Zoo” and “Bringing an Uzi to the Gym” are really stunning.

  200. Griff:

    If you wanna know more about sociopathy, I recommend reading, “Columbine.” It’s not only a great piece of media criticism (*everything* you think you know about that event is wrong. Like, E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G.), it’s also a fascinating deconstruction of the sociopath in a clinical, yet very readable, form.

  201. Felix: the new edition of Seagalogy has 11 new chapters: Kill Switch, Against the Dark, Driven to Kill, Steven Seagal: Lawman (1 long chapter for seasons 1 and 2), The Keeper, A Dangerous Man, Machete, Born to Raise Hell, Deadly Crossing, Street Wars and Dark Vengeance. I also corrected and updated alot of things throughout the book.

  202. RRA: Technically it’s not the original version that is on top of the British Dance Charts. It’s more the pack of Remixes, that was released a few weeks ago.
    ( http://www.beatport.com/release/dance-4-me/844361 )
    Also I’m shocked how lame the British Dance Charts are. The UK has been the most reliable source of good dance music for me, since the mid-90’s, but this list is horrible! (In my opinion.)

  203. Thanks Vern!

    I have to say that everyone at CHUD’s B-Action Thread is eagerly looking forward to this.

  204. Vern – did you correct that typo about Andrew Davis getting an Oscar nod for directing FUGITIVE, which he didn’t? Just checking. (Maybe he should’ve deserved one?)

    CJ – Fair enough with the technicality. Still though, I still consider this a great step up for him after his 20TEN fiasco.*

    *=It’s mediocre and mostly forgettable, but it still had two worthwhile tracks. “Laydown” is a very, decent throwaway. But “Act of God” is FUCKING AWESOME. Funky as hell, fans actually don’t like it. I don’t get it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rK2yJUH7NO0

    At least it wasn’t a RAINBOW CHILDREN record. Jesus that was fucking nuts.

  205. Nuttier than BATDANCE?

  206. Tawdry Hepburn – I’m aware of that “Columbine” book and it’s been on my to read list

  207. RAINBOW CHILDREN is no SIGN O’ THE TIMES or anything but I still do enjoy that album a lot. I love how stripped down and musically raw it all is. He threw such a curveball at everybody that one that it can’t help but be anything but admirable. Speaking of the guy though I still have to remove LOTUSFLOW3R a listen. I remember buying it like 2 years ago and lending it to my buddy before even removing the packaging. It’s about time I go pick it up and pop it in to see what I missed there. I won’t even get into 20TEN; fuck that shit.

  208. *remove the vibe of laziness from my system and give LOTUSFLOW3R

  209. Here’s a Promo for THE TRANSPORTER TV Series.


  210. Griff: Nice, but I prefer this: http://youtu.be/DiaMylog02Y

    Felix: Something about this promo makes me feel suspicious. I guess its lack of stunts. They only show driving and jumping and a VERY cartoony looking explosion, that is even covered up by a green screen promo shot of the star of the show.

  211. That Transporter tv show looks all wrong. You can’t just recast Statham, he IS The Transporter, he’s the one thing that makes those movies work. Look at what happened when they replaced Wesley Snipes with that guy with the sticky fingers, nobody wanted to watch that.

  212. Mike – I resisted the Blade TV series for a few years too, then finally rented it on Netflix with some seriously low expectations. It turned out to be pretty fantastic. Lots of well-written characters and storylines.

  213. neal – I can’t bring myself to watch anything starring a guy named sticky fingers. I draw the line at ice cubes and ice tea.

  214. Thanks a lot CJ; now my repressed memory of Fisher Stevens in brown face is no longer repressed.

  215. los locos kick your ass! los locos kick your face! los locos kick your balls into outer spaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaace!

  216. Man, I don’t want to start off all negative but that Transporter promo looks awful.

    Props for getting the French cop back, but the guy pla

  217. Sorry, don’t know what happened there.

    Yeah, the guy playing Frank Martin just ain’t doing it for me – and who is he? Is he someone I should have heard of?

    Reminds me of Human Target – meaning it probably won’t end well for anyone.

  218. Karlos- He played Whistler is Season 3 of Prison Break.

    I read a Synopsis for the show, this new Transporter has a female ex-CIA contact as his handler. They was a stunt accident recently and production was shut down untill this year.

    12 Episodes have already been ordered.

  219. Thanks for that, Felix.

    The only thing I knew about the show was that it has a pretty big budget – something like $40 million in total.

    Do we know if he’s actually playing Frank Martin or a.n.other Transporter?

  220. It’s a lazy Sunday afternoon at work, so I decided to re-watch Feds, which i think played on every lazy Sunday of my youth on HBO. It’s actually better than I remember, as long as you’re not expecting some Police Academy-style wackiness. Sure the humor is sparse, and at times it seems more like a college movie than an FBI Academy movie, but there’s some nice characters and development we don’t get in movies anymore.

    Bonus points for being one of the only “training” movies that ends in a simulation instead of a real life situation (i.e. Top Gun, GI Jane, Police Academy, Stripes) And also one that doesn’t have a love interest or villain (I guess the guy from Krull might count as both, even though I’d argue he doesn’t count as either)

  221. you watch movies at work?

    does that remind anyone else of Overdrawn At The Memory Bank? “scrolling up cinemas”

  222. Add John Hughes to the list of filmatists who create their own worlds for their characters to inhabit. Jay and Silent Bob went looking for Shermer, Illinois, and didn’t find it of course. It’s sort of a stand-in for Northbrook, IL. But Hughes created Shermer for all of his characters to inhabit. According to him Del Griffith lives two doors down from Samantha Baker, Ferris Bueller lives across the street from the Griswalds, and there’s a high school or two in town where the Weird Science kids and Breakfast Club attended. Man, no wonder Jay and Silent Bob wanted to track that place down.

  223. “Ferris Bueller lives across the street from the Griswalds”

    mind = blown

    I never knew that about John Hughes

  224. Griff, yeah, some people play Farmville or whatnot during downtime, I try to watch anything I don’t have to pay too much attention to. My shift is 12 hours, so I was able to see all 4 Best of the Bests one time, that was amazing. My goal is to try to watch either the entire Dragon Tattoo or Red Riding trilogies in one day, but they seem a little heavy for work.

    Re: the John Hughes-verse. I knew of Shermer but had no idea it was all connected! Of course this brings up the whole “multiple Anthony Michael Halls running around” problem. Even though one could argue that the dude from Sixteen Candles and Breakfast Club were really Rusty Griswold. (Probably not Weird Science though)

    By the way, anyone know if the off-brand Hughes movies (Some Kind of Wonderful, Pretty in Pink) were also set in Shermer? And I could have sworn Adventures in Babysitting was a Hughes Shermer movie but I guess it’s not!

  225. neal – PRETTY IN PINK was; same thing with HOME ALONE and UNCLE BUCK. Which means there isn’t only an issue of multiple Anthony Michael Hall’s but there are similar problems with multiple John Candy’s and Molly Ringwald’s as well.

  226. Yeah, it’s really interesting what Hughes had in mind. I love the mutiverse aspect of it.
    I just wish he made some small references to his other movies/characters in his films. Like Clark Griswald telling Rusty that he shouldn’t date that Samantha Baker cause their offspring would disintegrate in the sun. I can’t really think of anything like that at all.

  227. what exactly do you do neal2zod if you don’t mind me asking?

    and maybe Anthony Michael Hall is the Randall Flagg of the Hughesverse, that is to say he keeps popping up under different names (but is the same person)

    but that wouldn’t explain everyone else…..secret Government cloning program perhaps? quantum instability?

  228. In a universe where you can build your dream woman on a PC; I wouldn’t doubt the existence of a govt. cloning program at all. How else can you explain the existence of 2 precocious Macaulay Culkin’s in the same place? I don’t think any deity would be that wrathful to conceive such a scenario; it must be the byproduct of cloning experiments.

  229. Shermer Illinois is actually not a normal town but contains a secret Government lab underneath conducting cloning experiments

    guys, I think we’ve found a plot for a movie!

  230. I was about to say that that could be a really cool Truman Show style movie. A fictional character becomes self-aware and slowly discovers that he is a minor character in a writer/director’s multi-verse. Or maybe he is only one of three Anthony Michael Hall types. Or something like that…

  231. See if you don’t watch the Super Bowl, you miss non-hyped up pre-game ad shit like this.


  232. “See if you don’t watch the Super Bowl, you miss non-hyped up pre-game ad shit like this. ”
    Unless it’s put online and someone posts a link to it on the same night.

  233. Stu – How did you learn about it?

    Internet ruins some pleasant surprises in life.

  234. Griff – just tech support stuff, nothing special unfortunately. Speaking of which, one of my Dish Network boxes died during the big game tonight. I wasn’t really watching the game anyway but while calling THEIR tech support i certainly acted like I was. The tech was nice and was even giving me rundowns and play-by-plays of the game while I went through the motions like rebooting and whatnot. Eventually I got a nice discount and free HBO/Cinemax for a few months for missing the big game, which was an unexpected surprise.

  235. Someone should make a mash up of the AVENGERS and the BATTLESHIP super bowl spots, since both are about flying, glowing, mechanical things that blow skyscrapers up.

  236. The only really cool thing about the AVENGERS spot besides the panning shot was the Hulk. My concern was that they would continue with that shitty small head and cartoon face design with weightless animation from the last movie.

    But nope they decided to go the Ang Lee route instead of having something that really does look like an organic creature in terms of the face design and musculature; but now with mo-cap to add even more extra weight and life to the animation. I really do see Ruffalo in there like I saw Bana but never saw Norton.

    Hulk smacking some random flying shit like a fly is already way more exciting than any of the mediocre action from that Ed Norton movie. *fingers crossed* that Joss really knocks the shit outta the park. I really still hope it doesn’t come across as TONY & FRIENDS and that there is enough breathing room to balance all the leads out. I still don’t like movie Nick Fury though.

  237. They found the proper hue too; he’s still mean and “green” but not too green to the point of taking you out of the picture like people complained about the other ones.

  238. Another BATTLESHIP trailer with no indication that we’ll hear someone scream “YOU’VE SUNK MY BATTLESHIP”. lame.

  239. I dig the way Marvel are trying to get a film universe up and running, even though most of the films themselves (THOR, IRON MAN 2, CAP AMERICA – most of it, anyways) just didn’t do it for me.

    But this has me geeking out. The other trailer and TV spot didn’t really do it but this has.

    The Superbowl JOHN CARTER spot is pretty good, too.

  240. karlos – Regarding your opinion on the COUNTDOWN TO AVENGERS set of movies; yeah same here I only really liked the first IRON MAN. The others were watchable (except THE INCREDIBLE HULK & IM2 those just flat out sucked IMO) but they aren’t anything I’m adding to the collection or ever revisiting after the first viewing either. They’re sort of just there.

    This is the first AVENGERS anything to get me pumped as well but mostly cause of the way they handled the hulk. As brief as it was that was my biggest concern and thankfully they’re not following in the last movie’s footsteps.

  241. Broddie – I’m gld they’ve got The Hulk right, too.

    Sounds like you dug Ang Lee’s Hulk. Shame few give it much love – I thought it was terrific, a really adult comic book film.

  242. karlos – It wasn’t without it’s flaws but it was definitely the closest they’ve gotten to delivering the hulk movie that I always wanted to see. One that dealt more with exploring the psychology of the character’s duality and rage.

  243. I’ve liked all of the Marvel movies, though I rank INCREDIBLE HULK as the weakest, just because it doesn’t feel like enough was going on in the story. The Avengers trailer was pretty good. I liked how the concept of the trailer wasn’t just “it’s the natural conclusion to all this buildup! AVENGERS!” but more about how there’s a threat and the Avengers are needed to combat it, conveying that this is actually a film in its own right more than the other trailer did. The panning shot was great for that, though I was surprised there wasn’t something more iconic, like Cap shouting “Avengers Assemble!” in there.

    Broddie- Who would you cast as the classic version of Fury(besides Hasselhoff)?

  244. The only thing that I remember of INCREDIBLE HULK is the Tony Stark cameo.

  245. I think THOR is the weakest of the bunch. It felt like a trailer to me, just a bunch of unconnected elements that are somewhat visually and conceptually interesting but with no strong throughline to make me give a shit. I mean, what was that movie? Was it a fish out of water story? A tale of palace intrigue? A fantasy battle epic? All and none. It did that comic book thing where it never really settles down to a plot. It’s just a situation with occasional setpieces, which in the case of THOR were not even that great. At least INCREDIBLE HULK already had the origin story shit out of the way so it could just tell a pretty simple story.

    I honestly don’t know what people’s problem with IRON MAN 2 is, though. It’s the TEMPLE OF DOOM of Marvel movies.

  246. Yeah, I think IRON MAN 2’s alright as well. Not as good as the first, but I don’t quite think it’s the “AVENGERS commercial” everyone says it is. Tony’s still the main focus, Rourke’s an interesting villain, and there’s some good armour action. Wish the final fight was longer though.

  247. If by “final fight” you mean Scarlett Johansson booby-smacking motherfuckers until they die from it, then I agree.

  248. What I hate about IM2 is that it felt like NOTHING was happening you just sit there for 2 hours bored out of your mind. Halfway through they go “oh yeah we’re supposed to tell a story here” so they add the whole “Tony is infected OMG” crap out of nowhere and it feels very hacknyed especially since it’s not even thoroughly focused on.

    Since the same movie also wants to tell you the “Rhodey becomes War Machine”, “The Govt wants Stark’s tech” and SHIELD subplots and gives none of them enough room to breathe. I mean really how useless is the Black Widow in that damn thing? IMO Majestyk’s gripes with THOR could all much more validly apply to IM2.

    Stu – Honestly I’d have gone with a Stephen Lang type. I think an actor like that could convincingly sell the real Nick Fury on screen.

    Fury is NOT supposed to be likeable he’s supposed to be the quintessential “take no nonsense and get shit done by any means” type of badass. Jackson is way too cool for the role. Fury is an intimidating WW2 vet and master spy. I find nothing intimidating about Sam Jackson at all and no amount of scar make up could change that. I just can’t convince myself that he is a seasoned vet of the good war or a soldier of the real world through espionage. He’s more like a “cool uncle” type.

  249. I don’t remember liking Iron Man 2 because the plot didn’t make any sense. However, that may have been because I literally lost higher brain function every time ScarJo was on screen. Oh lord. Hottest female ‘super suit’ since Catwoman in Batman Returns. I would pay a lot of money to see a fight scene between 1992 Michelle Pfeiffer and 2009 ScarJo.

    Anyway, that’s enough latent chauvinism for one posting.

  250. Broddie: I see your point, but the difference is in IM2 I’m watching some ridiculously entertaining motherfuckers like Robert Downey Jr., Mickey Rourke, and Sam Rockwell try to mega-act the fuck out of each other. Those guys can make the shapelessness of the contemporary superhero film work because they’re so much fun to watch from minute to minute. I like a lot of the actors in THOR but none of them pop onscreen the way IM2’s cast does.

  251. Rehydrated Dehydrated Pirate Paul

    February 6th, 2012 at 2:35 pm

    Wait… there’s an anti-“Iron Man 2” movement?

    Wait… people even REMEMBER “Iron Man 2”?

    I saw it about six months ago and for the life of me I couldn’t tell you who was in it. Erm… remember quite liking it at the time, if that counts.

    “Young Adult”. Worth seeing, or just another overrated comedy with unlikeable main characters surrounded by oddball acquaintances eg “Role Models”? I need your input guys… I can’t see it lasting much longer than a week. I’m on a great movie run right now, I don’t want to spoil it with “Young Adult” if it turns out to be a complete dud.

  252. Mr. M — completely agree. Have no idea what people are complaining about with IM2. It’s not like the first one was some spectacularly well-plotted, well-directed masterpiece of action cinema. It was just a somewhat competent film with a really likeable protagonist who’s going to pretty much make whatever he’s in watchable (even SHERLOCK HOLMES, barely). IM2 merely ups the ante by adding a bunch of other actors like that (Mickey Rourke, Sam Rockwell, Don Cheadle). The plot’s a little unfocused? Seriously, that’s your complaint? As if the part at the end of the first one where they fly really high in the air and then fall down was such a stunning climax? If all action films were as compulsively watchable and entertaining as IM2, exploding cinema wouldn’t be in the sorry state its currently in. Now, INCREDIBLE HULK? THAT was pretty pointless.

  253. Paul:

    While I enjoyed both Young Adult and Role Models I don’t think anyone would really consider them to be in the same genre.

    I loved the shit out of Young Adult. In fact, it was the third best movie I saw last year (after Tree of Life and The Future). It’s a great character piece with top notch performances from the entire cast. I’ve never liked Patrick Warburton before, but he was really solid in this film. Theron gives a career best performance and Patton Oswalt deserved an Oscar Nod for his turn.

    It’s a comedy that is more in line with In the Company of Men, Deconstructing Harry, or Sexual Perversity in Chicago. Not really a crowd pleaser by any means. I laughed a lot, but I was also pretty much the only person laughing in my theater, so take from that what you will.

    Actually, come to think of it; it’s exactly like a Woody Allen movie, if Allen’s unlikeable protagonist were a hot lady.

    In summary, I highly recommend Young Adult without reservation to discerning audiences who know not to expect Juno.

  254. Mr.’s Majestyk & Subtlety – That’s the thing there wasn’t enough explosion and fun scenery chewing in the movie in the first place. Matter of fact sometimes I even forgot Rourke was even in that bitch he was so understated and underused.

    No sir you want good Rourke mega acting? DOUBLE FUCKING TEAM is your source for that good shit. You got Don Cheadle in there but he seems to be bored out of his mind and has no good quirks like a shitty european accent to accentuate the damn thing at least. Unacceptable. I give you Rockwell but that wasn’t enough even RDJ most of the time looked like he was just there for the check.

    Know what made the original stand out? it had heart. It did keep the narrative focused which was a plus but it wasn’t just that; the action when it did arrive for the most part was concrete. I can’t remember any of the set pieces to IM2 at all. There were so little of them as it was and I still can’t really recall except something about a race track.

    The movie spent way too much wasted time on the characters doing nothing. It was a lot of dialogue that really amounted to nothing cause the narrative was bipolar. So you had all the subplots trying to take precedent yet they all remained at an anticlimax.

    Sorry but that kinda distracts me when you’re asking for a couple of hours of my time I could spend watching something more fun.

  255. I noticed that I didn’t even get to type what I meant by “heart”. I mean this

    Watch the first movie and don’t just focus on RDJ’s likeability but how his interactions with Paltrow and Howard help that magic be as effective as it is. There is such inherent chemistry in the scenes he shares with them and even Bridges in the movie that it really makes the characters feel vibrant and alive.

    In the sequel they just feel like stock characters cause the chemistry between Cheadle and RDJ is forced and nowhere as organic as it was with Howard. Even his interactions with Paltrow suffered in the sequel and he had like no type of on screen chemistry with Rourke whatsoever which was a sad waste. I would’ve loved to have seen my 2 favorite “has been turned comeback king” actors really elevate each other in a classic scene or two.

  256. “Halfway through they go “oh yeah we’re supposed to tell a story here” so they add the whole “Tony is infected OMG” crap out of nowhere and it feels very hacknyed especially since it’s not even thoroughly focused on.”
    I don’t know what you mean by out of nowhere. The infected thing is just an extension of how his batteries keep burning out, which is present throughout the movie from the very beginning. All of Tony’s behaviour is motivated by how he’s unsure if he’s going to live for very long. He restarts the Stark Expo because he wants the greatest minds of today to make a difference because he’s not sure he’ll be able to. He appoints Pepper CEO because he wants the company’s future in good hands. He acts up at the party because he’s trying to make the most of the time he has left. He gives Rhodey access to the Mark II because he’s the only person he’d trust with that technology.

    “I mean really how useless is the Black Widow in that damn thing?”
    Well for one she performs a small but crucial role in the climax by shutting down the programming controlling Rhodey, making the defeat of Whiplash possible. I also think she’s a little bit of world building with how her cover shows the sort of way SHIELD operates, and how well Fury has studied Tony to be able to slips someone into his entourage like that. I don’t think enough’s been done with Fury in the movies to judge Sam Jackson’s portrayal to be honest. Given how they hinted at him maybe being older than he looks in IM2, I was disappointed they passed up the opportunity to make that guy in Cap’s WW2 team a younger Fury.

  257. I don’t know, I hope they ditch that shit about Fury’s anti-aging serum or whatever. It’s just some lazy shit they injected into the comics so they wouldn’t have to ret-con his backstory after too much time had passed to make him believable as an 80-year-old WWII vet who can still punch the shit out of a Skrull. I think it’s an unnecessary degree of disbelief-suspending for the movie, and I also think it detracts from Captain America being the only representative of his generation that’s still alive and kicking in the superhero community. Being able to shoot the shit with Fury about the good ol’ days back takes a lot of tragedy out of Cap’s role as a man out of time.

  258. I’ve seen all the Marvel (baby) movies and I’d rank as thus

    Iron Man
    Iron Man 2
    Captain America

    the only one I did not like at all was Thor (which perhaps not coincidentally was the only one I saw in 3D), although Hulk was VERY forgettable and Captain America gets damn tedious near the end

    I don’t really have any major gripes with Iron Man 2, it’s not as good as the first, but it’s still pretty good

  259. I just realized that no one here is gonna get the “Marvel baby!” reference so…


  260. Anyone seen the BLADE anime yet and if so, thoughts?

  261. Rehydrated Dehydrated Pirate Paul

    February 6th, 2012 at 7:40 pm

    Tawdry – thanks very much. Yep, I think I will be going to see that. I’ve heard mixed reviews of it so I’m really, really glad it ain’t another “Role Models” (not that I hated that film, but it was just so… who gives a crap?)

  262. I’m seconding everything Broddie said about Iron Man 2. Just a huge disappointment to me – uninvolving action (and too little of it), uninteresting story, Downey wasn’t as charismatic as he was in the first one, Cheadle had zero chemistry with Downey, neither did Paltrow. I honestly don’t think either Rourke or Rockwell were memorable or used well at all. The idea of them being in the movie was more intriguing than their actual performances. I remember Scarlettt Johanson replaced Emily Blunt at the last minute for Black Widow – I think that actually hurt the movie because she just seemed too famous to be in such a small role (obviously it seems less weird now that she’s in The Avengers)

    It’s like everyone was coasting b/c they knew it was going to be a huge hit. I rewatched the first one again recently and it still held up really well; Howard and Downey have great chemistry together, the story is familiar but fun, the action scenes are good enough. My only real complaint was I wish the terrorist cell remained the main villains. As is, the heel turn by Bridges just seemed rushed and undercooked while still being predictable.

    Majestyk – you say IM2 is the Temple of Doom of Marvel Movies? This intrigues me. I think I pointed out somewhere it seems like a weird copy of Robocop 2 of all things. Oh, wait, here’s what I wrote in the IM2 board – “Not only was the “big expo unveiling goes beserk” ending straight from R2 (which I guess you could say goes back to King Kong), the structure is similarly unfocused and sloppy. Subplots, storylines, and main characters just disappear and reappear for giant chunks of the movie. Also, Villain #1 (the grungy one) is easily defeated early on, but then teams up with Villain #2( slick corporate one) to come back in new form at the end to get his ass whipped again. The main character has some internal battle going on and doesn’t act like himself for most of the movie but then fixes himself through some cobbled up deus ex machina. Oh, and there’s a comedic film-reel montage of other attempts to make knockoff Ironmen/Robcops with disastrous results/people getting mangled.”

  263. Paul, Tawdry’s bigged up YOUNG ADULT before here, and a simple googling of “outlaw vern young adult” yields 2 relevant top results, one of which will take you to where I ranked that movie in my top 20 of 2011 and one of which is https://outlawvern.com/2012/01/01/happy-2012/#comment-2066984

    I missed a chance for extreme alliteration, as I should have replaced “issues” with “troubles” and “dramas” with “tragedies.” Oh well.

  264. holy shit neal2zod, you’re right, Iron Man 2 IS Robocop 2


  265. Full RAIDERS/LOST ARK “Filmumentary” online here (scroll down for vimeo.com link):


    Hey, it also kinda ties in with Vern’s Speilberg reviews!

    The guy who made this did the 3 incredible STAR WARS ones, plus, as well all, ROTLA is one of THE greatest films ever made so this should be sweeter than God’s balls.

  266. Full RAIDERS/LOST ARK “Filmumentary” online here (scroll down for vimeo.com link):


    Hey, it also kinda ties in with Vern’s Speilberg reviews!

    The guy who made this did the 3 incredible STAR WARS ones, plus, as we all know, ROTLA is one of THE greatest films ever made so this should be sweeter than God’s balls.

  267. I preferred the second IRON MAN to the first one, though I can’t say I’m enthusiastic about any of these Marvel movies. The second SPIDERMAN is the only one that even felt like a real movie to me, and it wasn’t without flaws.

    IRON MAN 2 had some of the loopiness you’d get from a kid who was making up a story while playing with his toys, which I guess I preferred to the predictability of the first IRON MAN. Scarlett Johansson didn’t seem sexy as much as she seemed like some dorky boy’s idea of sexy, and Favreau is kind of dorkiness personified. There’s a kind of charm in that.

    Of course I saw IM2 on an airplane. There needs to be a disclaimer for that particular experience. Like listening to MP3s. A gearhead buddy of mine told me that you only hear 5% of the music on an MP3. Same thing with airplane movies.

  268. Speaking of Spider-man, there there’s a new AMAZING SPIDER-MAN trailer:
    Okay, I feel a lot more optimistic about this now, just from the fact it’s a very lively looking film and not as gloomy seeming as that first teaser. It helps too to see a bit of Wisecracking Spidey, even some wisecrackin’ Peter. Lizard still wouldn’t be my first choice of villain, but at least they’ve got an interesting actor playing him, and the stuff with the cops might mean some good stuff. It also feels a lot more modern than the Raimi films, which were trying to be a bit more timeless/classic feeling I think, so something different is good, although Gwen Stacy still looks a bit out of time with her appearance.

  269. I wasn’t the biggest fan of the Raimi movies so I’ve been waiting for something like this for years now. Not only do they have Peter cracking wise as Peter and not just as Spidey but they’re also not being shy about delving into his scientific genius at all. Color me impressed.

    Also think it was smart to go with someone like The Lizard cause he’s not one of the big heavy hitters yet still ties organically enough to Peter that it’s effective without being distracted. Like say rushing through the Green Goblin’s arc in one movie or making Doc Ock a sympathetic tragic scientist type and not a narcissistic borderline evil mad scientist like he was in the comics even as Otto Octavius. Which IMO makes for a more fun villain.

    I want to see heavy hitters like Doc Ock & the Green Goblin done right one day so no need to rush into them right away. It’s more effective if they save Osborne for the sequels and develop him along throughout the series. Having him go completely apeshit and ready to kill Gwen by the time a hypothetical 3rd part hits.

  270. *being distracting

  271. While the stuff with Spidey looks like a lot more fun than expected, I’m still not a fan of the mopey Emo Hipster Twilight looking Peter and I hope the Lizard won’t look all the time that cartoony. Not to mention that the story about Peter’s parents, having a huge secret that seems to tie into his superpowers is way too cheesy.
    I hope it’s gonna be good, but I’m not sold on it and will wait till it hits home video or more likely free TV.

    P.S.: I can’t remember anybody complaining about the lack of wise cracking during the Raimi movies, but suddenly everybody acts like they were BATMAN & ROBIN, because Spidey didn’t quib a oneliner from time to time.

  272. Tobey Maguire’s Spider-Man was just too mopey for my taste. It wasn’t something I expected especially from someone like Raimi. I only really liked the first one cause it’s the only one that avoided most of the “woe is me” bullshit from the trilogy.

    Google my handle which I’ve used since the late 90’s and you’d probably still see forum posts circa 2002 of me saying the exact same shit. So I can’t speak for anybody else but no bandwagon hopping here. I just still haven’t felt like these Spider-Man movies have lived up to their potential yet. Don’t know if this will be it either but what I see in this trailer matches my sensibilities as a fan more; personally.

    BTW Peter’s parents were originally supposed to be spies. It’s kinda why Spider-Man exists in the first place; they met through their CIA gigs. So I have no quarrels with anybody exploring their past in these new movies. It’s just another angle most people don’t know about. Hopefully it won’t feel all contrived.

  273. Yeah, but just because it happened in some alternative comic timeline (and by God, every superhero has a million different origin stories and timelines), it doesn’t mean it’s good. I never bought into the Spy bullshit. The core to Peter’s character is that he is a nobody, who gets great power and learns the hard way to not use it selfish. The whole son-of-spies angle is just completely unnecessary.

  274. It’s not an alternate timeline it’s the main one. It’s why he is an orphan as they were killed doing their job. It was written mostly to explain why this kid could be a boy genius; well his parents were scientific spies. Perhaps it’s a contrivance that serves the comic book medium better though; we’ll see soon enough.

  275. Shit, are you guys still bitchin about those cartoon characters? Well, I´m out of here..

  276. Only die hard Spidey fans could get excited about the new movie. The moment I found out that Raimi wasn´t directing…. I got the fuck out of there…

  277. Well, if this was really in the original timeline (I can’t remember ever reading about this), I think there is a good reason why nobody ever talks about or put it into any adaptation (including the millions of cartoon shows). It is just a stupid idea!

    Talking about Spider-Man cartoons: The one from the mid to late 90’s even featured Blade in a few episodes!

  278. oh wow guys, I loved that trailer, color me pleasantly surprised and impressed

    I’m with Broddie, what makes Spider Man cool is the fact that he’s NOT supposed to be that serious, he’s supposed to be a wisecracking smartass and the world and New York he inhabits is supposed to be a very “comic book” one if you know what I mean, Spider Man and Batman are my two favorite superheros because they kind of represent the ying and yang of the superhero genre, Batman is the more serious and dark take on it whereas Spider Man is the purely fun take on it

    and it seems like they got it right this time, even New York city this time looks like a comic book, I love it

    to celebrate http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ooG15l_pCko&list=FLaI511E9DAWLBwZEMTXN40A&index=14&feature=plpp_video

  279. but yeah, I seriously love that trailer

    and I’m seriously getting excited now

  280. Well..urghhhh.. let me say this as gently as I can….When Tobey McGuire was annonced as Spidey all hell broke loose just the same as when Daniel Craig was annonced as the next James Bond.

    What happened? As far as I am concerned, these two actors mads both Spider-Man and James Bond relevant. But what happens when the nerds get their way?…..God cannot fuckin´help us now!

  281. I much prefer Andrew Garfield as an actor to Toby Maguire, but I think Maguire was perfectly suited to Raimi’s movies, much in the way that professional hambone Bruce Campbell is better suited to the EVIL DEADS than a more technically accomplished contemporary actor like William Hurt or Mikey Rourke would have been.

    Maybe Garfield will turn in a really great performance, but I’m having difficulty figuring out why he would bother with a re-boot of an exhausted franchise.

  282. I´ll also revise my statement on Metal Gear Solid 2. Now that I have played it again in this beutiful HD collection(where the entire tv frame actuelly gets used), it still irritates the shit out of me. Like an itch you can´t scratch. There are characters in this game tthat just begs to be killed.

    Fortune´s melodramatic whining is too much for me. Emme Emmerich gets stabbed and dies but not soon enough in my opinion. And to be honest, there are a lot of very interesting sociologic discussions and philosophies. But those outlets should have been more suited for another game. Kojima really should have been able to express himself in other games. It still is a helluva lot more entertaining than GUNS OF THE PATRIOTS-

  283. to be fair, I didn’t hate the first two Raimi Spider Mens, they were ok, but I’ve never had a desire to ever watch them again, I don’t think that’s a sign of a great movie…

    the new one look better and more faithful to the comic

  284. ShootMcKay – SPOILER ALERT! the Patriots ramblings at the end of the game confused the hell out of me when I first played it, but I enjoyed that, it legitimately weirded me out

    however replaying it these days I actually understood what they were talking about and it actually creeped me out even more

  285. Jareth Cutestory:

    I have no idea what you’re talking about. Scarlett Johansson is so god damn good looking that it has ruined her career. Seriously. She spent years trying to star in romantic comedies and girlie films and romances and she bombed every single time. She’s *too* sexy. Women don’t want to go see a ScarJo RomCom because they don’t want their boyfriends/husbands ogling her the whole time. She’s got this wanton attitude where like, she’s the prettiest girl in school and she damn well knows it. A Bridget Bardot thing.

    Of course, Catwoman, Black Widow and The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo form some kind of trifecta for me…so clearly my taste in women is suspect.

  286. For the record, I’m still irritated they’re bothering us with an origin story again. Jesus fucking Christ. What is Hollywood’s obsession with origins? Just cut to the good stuff, I want to watch Darth Vader be Darth Vader, I want to watch Hannibal be Hannibal, I want to watch Carlito’s Way by Carlito’s Way. The awesome thing is what they do, not how they came to do it. What, are we gonna next get a prequel where Spider-Man is a little kid before he had powers?


    Patton Oswalt lays it out pretty eloquently.

  287. I keep waiting for DIRTY HARRY: ORIGINS where we discover the source of his love of hot dogs (his first collar was a hot dog vendor who sold illegal firearms out of his cart), many of his most famous catchphrases (it is revealed that he has a learning disorder that literally makes him unable to keep track of any numbers higher than four), and of course his signature .44 Magnum (it was just kind of sitting there on a log one day and he picked it up). Until all of these questions that nobody asked are answered we must consider the DIRTY HARRY saga an utter failure.

  288. Wait’ll you see the expendababies – l’il hale ceasar will steal your heart.

    Remember that do-do at christmas, he loves to shout.


  289. Or MAD MAX: BEFORE THUNDERDOME, where Beyonce plays a young Aunty Entity, before WWIII, so basically…Beyonce hanging out in australia, with Master(Warwick Davis) revealed to be her accountant.

  290. Or LETHAL WEAPON: RISE OF MURTAUGH, in which it is revealed that before Riggs came into his life, rookie cop Murtaugh (Donald Glover) was a fairly normal cop who was not yet too old for this shit, said shit being solving cases in a non-violent fashion and rarely if ever barbecuing anyone’s nuts on Hollywood Boulevard. In a small fan-service cameo near the end, a young Riggs (James Franco), fresh from his service in Vietnam, is seen getting off a plane, where he is met by his pretty young wife, who, in a shocking twist that threatens to tear the very fabric of the Lethalweaponiverse asunder, is not yet dead.

  291. Or DETROIT STREETS COP, where a younger Axel Foley (I dunno, the jock guy from CHRONICLE) is a uniform cop working traffic with no thoughts of California at all. The most thrilling moment would be having to charge someone for putting a banana in a tailpipe.

  292. THE YOUNG JOHN McCLANE CHRONICLES, in which first-year beat cop McClane (Bruce Willis in a wig with his wrinkles unconvincingly CGIed off) fights crime on the mean streets of New York, 1977, and romances a perky brunette named Holly (Danielle Harris, creepily promoted from daughter to love interest) who also happens to be targeted by the Son of Sam (Paul Giamatti) whose murders are only a smokescreen for his plan (created by his dog, voiced by Alan Rickman for some reason) to rob Yankee Stadium during Game 6 of the World Series.

    Actually, I’d totally watch that one. Never mind.

  293. They did do a DIE HARD prequel in comic book form. With Bruce likeness and all. I don’t remember ever finishing it though. I can’t wait for HOWARD THE DUCKLING featuring Jake Gyllenhaal as the voice of young Howard.

  294. or Young Indiana Jones where he……oh wait

  295. Mr Majestyk – Stop doing that!! I don´t want any weird origin storys of characters I know and love! I`m warning you, I´m holding a 44 Magnum revolver at you. The most powerful handgun in the world.In all this excitement I forgot how many bullets this hold; 5 or 6. Do you feel lucky?…Well…do you?…punk?

  296. Broddie: I did read that comic. DIE HARD: YEAR ONE, I believe. I was liking it at first, but then the first storyline ended abruptly and it skipped ahead to a point where I really don’t believe it could have been his first year on the force anymore. But it was okay. Glad the series ended after like eight issues, before it could get too embarrassing.

  297. Okay, Shoot, I’ll stop.

    But wait! I gots to know…

  298. …just let me finish my hot dog for once!

  299. This reminds me of how the CW originally planned to replace SMALLVILLE with a show called GRAYSON, which would be about Dick Grayson…before he meets Batman. So…Batman’s sidekick, before he’s even a sidekick. I like the character and all, but…come on.

  300. Instead, they should have done TWEEN TITANS, in which Robin, Superboy, and Aqualad, et all, are all about 11, and you only see Batman and Superman from the waist down and they speak in muted trumpets.

  301. Rehydrated Dehydrated Pirate Paul

    February 7th, 2012 at 5:06 pm

    Mouth – you expect me to google? How totally unreasonable is that?

    Anyway… you and Tawdry both loved “Young Adult”. Now I’m kinda worried.

    Also I was going to suggest a “Dirty Harry” origin story, but Majestyk beat me to the punch. Boo.

    You want an origin story that has legs? How about Bond, Jimmy Bond?

  302. Wouldn’t the prequel to Die Hard be…you know…The Detective?

  303. Rehydrated Dehydrated Pirate Paul

    February 7th, 2012 at 5:09 pm

    Come to think of it, they actually did a Sherlock Holmes origin story once. Wasn’t as bad as it might have been.

  304. Wait…I’m a contrarian now? I know my politics are crazy and that my philosophical inclinations are a bit questionable at times, but I thought I was pretty mainstream as far as Outlaw Cinema was concerned. I mean, I for one totally understand that nunchucks are not an unnecessary distraction.

  305. Mr. Majestyk:

    “I keep waiting for DIRTY HARRY: ORIGINS where we discover the source of his love of hot dogs (his first collar was a hot dog vendor who sold illegal firearms out of his cart), many of his most famous catchphrases (it is revealed that he has a learning disorder that literally makes him unable to keep track of any numbers higher than four), and of course his signature .44 Magnum (it was just kind of sitting there on a log one day and he picked it up). Until all of these questions that nobody asked are answered we must consider the DIRTY HARRY saga an utter failure.”

    That is too brilliant for words. Because you fucking KNOW that that is exactly what a Dirty Harry Begins concept meeting would sound like. I can see the development executive pitching the idea that Dirty Harry has a learning disability and literally cannot count above 4. Just…too perfect.

    However, I would totally see the film if they cast Anton Yelchin as the lead and called it, “Clean.”

  306. This might be a Los Angeles problem, but do any of you guys have friends or casual acquaintances who are, like, pretty famous, and because of how you met them you are just perpetually trapped in this reverse Hanna Montana state where you have to keep pretending that you don’t know they’re famous?

    Like, there’s this one young actor I know. I’ve been drinking with him, seen his band play several shows, ran into him at In-N-Out and had lunch. But I met him through a friend at a concert and didn’t want to be a starfucker so I just pretended I didn’t own 4 DVDs with his face on the cover. But then I kept running into him as “that band guy,” I mentioned my interest in film, but never once alluded to his status.

    So, at a point, I think he just began to assume that I didn’t know that he was a successful actor. And now, if and when I see him, I can’t just suddenly bring it up, because then I’d seem like a douche who has been lying to him and playing dumb. But I only did it because I was trying *not* to be a douche. It’s like a horrible Three is Company plot device thing.

  307. ´click´ what was that of a DIRTY HARRY(or) DIE HARD origin story? I have my Magnum here…..

  308. Tawdry- I´m afraid that is completely unrelatable to me. I live in Sweden ,you see and we don´t have famous persons. We have forests, beutiful sceneries and non violent crime…but I swear to God. Bring up another DIRTY HARRY/LETHAL WEAPON/DIE HARD origin and you will end up on the news…´ka-click´

  309. Tawdry, career frontman Billy Bob Thornton knows full well that you are aware of the fact that he occasionally dabbles in acting, but he appreciates you not bringing it up. Because it’s all about the music, man.

  310. THE TEEN WITH NO NAME(we discover his name)?
    REASONABLY CHALLENGING TO KILL(featuring Councilman Trent)?
    THE WAYNE FAMILY BEGINS(a charming romantic comedy where billionaire playboy surgeon Thomas Wayne meets and falls in love with socialite humanitarian Martha Kane thanks to the advice of his butler Alfred(Jude Law) and the engineer who’s helping his company build a monorail(Mos Def))?

  311. Stu: I’m just gonna assume you had a damn good reason not to go with RISING STORM: THE HARDENING.

  312. UNDER SIEGE 0: RYBACK TO THE BEGINNING? It’d be about Ryback going to culinary school in order to qualify to be the ship’s cook. We’d finally learn where Seagal and Tommy Lee Jones knew each other from: they face off in a souffle competition in the climax.

  313. “Jesus fucking Christ. What is Hollywood’s obsession with origins? Just cut to the good stuff,”

    I really appreciated this comment.

    Joker in Dark Knight was a cut above, with its explicit “fuck you” to origin.

  314. Tawdry – yeah, I’m willing to bet that’s an L.A. only problem….

    anyway how about JURASSIC PARK RISING that follows a slightly younger John Hammond (sir Richard Attenborough CGI’d to look a bit younger) as he founds InGen, clones the very first dinosaur and builds Jurassic Park?

    absolutely nothing that interesting happens, but hey it could start off with a very young John Hammond as he runs his Flea Circus in Scotland

  315. or 1991: AN AI ODYSSEY that follows a scientist that lives in a bizarre alternate history 1991 where technology is more advanced but culturally everything is still like the late 1960’s as he programs HAL 9000 and teaches him to sing….daisy….daisy

  316. SINGLEATHALON — an aged Dolph Lundgren in uncovincing old man makeup tells the story of his youth in East Germany to a intrepid young reporter. Sure, it’s already covered in the original, but there’s endless slight variations on this story to tell over and over again before ending the film just before any kind of climax occurs.
    WITHNAIL: HAMMERED: A young and naive Withnail (Matthew Lillard), fresh out of acting school, goes camping by himself and is introduced to the joys of cheap American beer.
    ARMENIAN PSYCHO: Patrick Bateman’s father, a recent immigrant, does the same thing as the original, but cheaper since he’s the owner of a small dry-cleaning business.
    RED SHOE DIARIES: THE BEGINNING. David Duchovny drinks cheap scotch and jerks off alone, until a lost dog changes his life forever.

  317. I know you were kidding, but I could actually see a very good one shot comic book about the Wayne Family history and Bruce’s parents romance.

  318. Tawdry – me, too. Now you mention it I’m surprised DC has never tried to mine that particular avenue.

    I saw the DIE HARD prequel comic and (much like the ret-conning of Spidey’s origins) it makes a fundamental mistake: it wants us to think these characters are meant to be special and are always getting into exciting shit.

    The point of DIE HARD was that here was a guy who wasn’t used to heavy situations like taking on a bunch a terrorists – so what does the comic do? Make out he’s being that kind of thing since disco was big.

    As the internet likes to say, “fail”.

  319. Subtlety – your Penathalon prequel actually brings to mind Young Guns II. One of the reasons I didn’t like it as a kid was that it seemed really different from the first one. Not only was it now PG13 and devoid of the gore, I also thought it was weird how differently it was shot and how the score was suddenly classical orchestral bombast instead of the heavy metal guitars from the first one. And then there were all those inconsistencies, like how Billy died(?) and his relationship with Pat Garrett.

    But then I realized recently that Young Guns II was totally using a variation on the “unreliable narrator” gimmick – the whole movie is like a reboot/Rashomon-style take on the Billy the Kid legend, but using the same actors from the first one. It’s kind of genius and I’m not sure if it’s ever been done since. (By the way, I would totally watch a Young Guns III made now with the exact same cast. They can have yet another unreliable narrator to retell Billy and the gang’s midlife adventures, and they can even bring Charlie Sheen back from the first one!)

  320. yeah but neal2zod, didn’t you at least enjoy Jenny Wright’s ass?

  321. There has actually been a lot of “explore the Wayne’s past” shit released recently. From Paul Dini’s take into the early days of Thomas and Martha Wayne meeting and their role in Gotham high society in STREETS OF GOTHAM. To Thomas’ ancestors being elaborated on in Scott Snyder’s GATES OF GOTHAM and Grant Morrison’s THE RETURN OF BRUCE WAYNE (which also features Martha’s parents at one point) and overall Batman run (a crazy ancestor named Thomas Wayne becomes a batvillain).

  322. There’s no kind of comic book story I hate more than the “Forget everything you thought you knew about…” story. I don’t want to forget everything I thought I knew. I spent a lot of time and money on that shit. Now you’re telling me it was all a lie?

    In other words I’m basically saying that Morrison can eat a sheep’s stomach stuffed with dicks.

  323. Actually, I take that back. I want to thank Grant Morrison for so thoroughly destroying everything I liked about my favorite comics character to the point where I not only gave up on all of his books, but pretty much superhero comics in general, thus saving me hundreds if not thousands of dollars a year. In these tough economic times, we have to cut corners wherever we can. I probably wouldn’t be able to go out and get drunk nearly as often as I do now if I was still plunking down cash on silly stories about musclebound fetishists in knee-high boots. So perhaps Morrison’s incomprehensible and borderline heretical corruption of something I once loved was actually part of some kind of nerd rehabilitation program, forcing me to go out and enjoy life instead of sitting home and reading about the fake lives of others.

  324. Griff – My childhood mind definitely appreciated glorious ass in a PG13 movie, but I hadn’t yet fallen head over heels in love with Jenny Wright (that would be a few years later when I saw Lawnmower Man). She has the perfect look of hot-yet-attainable, and the fact that she seems to have retired makes her more mysterious and appealing to me.

    I still need to see I, Madman by the way, i hear it’s great.

  325. I, MADMAN is great. Kinda spooky, kinda campy, kinda pulpy, kinda sexy, kinda gory. A nice balance of tones. Whatever happened to Tibor Takács? Between I, MADMAN and THE GATE he really seemed to have a handle on light but not overtly comedic stop-motion based horror.

    (Oh wait. Turns out he recently directed MANSQUITO, ICE SPIDERS, MEGA SNAKE, and KRAKEN: TENTACLES OF THE DEEP. So he’s doing fine.)

    As for dat ass in YGII, it is a beauty, but there’s no way it’s actually Jenny Wright’s. You don’t pay an actress for nudity and then not show the nudie bits and her face in the same shot. That’s a waste of money and what I’m sure would have been a shitload of contract renegotiation.

  326. neal2zod – believe it or not I’ve actually seen I, Madman

    I wouldn’t say its great, don’t go in with too high expectations, but it is a cut above most 80’s B movies and the whole “1930’s pulp novel serial killer come to life” premise is really cool

    plus, it features a scene with a bookworm Jenny Wright reading a book in her underwear

  327. Mr. Majestyk – in most cases you’re right (about the body double thing), but she did nudity in other movies before and after that, so why would she demand a body double just for Young Guns 2?

    plus when she gets on the horse you can see some ass crack, so it’s her

  328. I feel the complete opposite way Majestyk. I’ve been reading Batman comics since 1988. The great days of Alan Grant and Norm Breyfogle. It took Morrison’s BATMAN books actually to get me back into the character after I abruptly stopped collecting them thanks to the triple decker brooding shitfest that was HUSH, BROKEN CITY and WAR GAMES. Though I will say that BC has grown on me in retrospect.

    He made Batman adventurous again and an actual hero not just some grimdark archetype. He brought excitement back to the books in the form of Batman vs. ninja manbats and crazy Lynchian villains and a Batman & Robin dynamic that completely inversed the concept on it’s head (A grim Robin and a lighter Batman). All that shit to me is far more interesting than anything that happened in the comics after NO MAN’S LAND save for GOTHAM CENTRAL.

    Morrison is the only writer to go “you know what?!? everything published within the last 70 years DID happen some way somehow” instead of copping out and going “no guys those stories are pre-crisis” like other unimaginative authors who couldn’t find a way to tie-it all together did. If anything he didn’t go “everything you thought you knew didn’t happen” he went “everything that you thought no longer happened STILL happened” and that shit took balls.

  329. I am not convinced. The way the money shot is staged is exactly how it’s done when a body double is used.

    And nudity is not always about prudishness. Sometimes it’s about money. You have to pay for skin, and by that point, Wright was an established actress and thus a full-on shot of her naked ass would cost substantially more than that of a body double. They might have haggled her down to partial crack for that one shot, since partial nudity costs less.

    It sounds ridiculous but these kinds of negotiations happen.

  330. ok Mr M, you’ve forced me to bring out the big guns, follow this nsfw link and then tell me what you think


    I guess I can see where you’re coming from, but I still say it’s her…

  331. Broddie: All that sounds great in theory. I want to love ninja man-bats and new and interesting character dynamics. And I’m sure if I sat down in a bar with Morrison and he told me the story of his grand plan for Batman, I would find it fascinating. But as it is executed on the pages of various DC Comics, it’s just pretentious gibberish. I kept giving him chances and there was simply no entertainment value to be had in reading his Batman stuff. It felt like work, and if I wanted to work, I’d be doing something worthwhile with my time, not reading fucking comic books.

    (In the interest of full disclosure, I did read the first BATMAN & ROBIN trade paperback in a Barnes & Noble while hiding from the heat one blistering Brooklyn summer day, and I kind of liked it. I still hated that Dick was Batman [he deserves better] and Damian can go fuck himself in the face for all I care, but the adventures were pretty straighforward and comprehensible (the kind of faint praise I normally reserve for post post-action action sequences) and since everyone had masks on the Val Kilmerization Factor of Quitely’s art wasn’t as big a problem as usual.)

  332. Tawdry: I don’t get the comparrison between Johansson and Bardot at all. To me, Johansson looks like a little girl trying to figure out how to operate a blow-up doll’s body. Bardot knew how to walk the walk. I’d understand a comparrison betwen Salma Hayek and Bardot, but Johansson I just don’t get; I’m not convinced by a single thing she does.

    But I’m old. I’m sure if some geezer tried to convince me that 19 year old Nastassja Kinski wasn’t seductive, I wouldn’t have understood him.

    ShootMcKay: Are you telling me Stina Nordestam isn’t famous in her home country? And that Robyn can walk the streets of Stockholm unmolested? And that all your schools and airports aren’t named after the guys in ABBA?

    Also, the idea of a young Murtaugh saying: “one day I’ll be too old for this shit” is both hilarious and depressing. Good work, Majestyk.

  333. Rehydrated Dehydrated Pirate Paul

    February 8th, 2012 at 9:41 am

    Oh boy. I was getting worried that I was losing my “crazy” status on this forum. Guess that ends now because I just saw “Young Adult” and I really really really didn’t get it. At all.

    The good: Theron and Oswalt are fantastic in this movie.

    The bad: everything else.

    The short: I liked this movie better when Theron’s character was an old guy, Wilson’s character was a young woman, Oswalt’s character was an old woman, the lead character was writing letters to an African boy instead of trying to finish a novel, and it was called “About Schmidt”.

    The long: If you’re going to make a movie where the lead character is a total asshole, then you’d better bring something different to the equasion. This may be the fact that I’ve seen literally hundreds of movies over the past couple of years; but fifteen minutes in, I was picturing the scene in Theron’s home town where she’d get drunk, spoil her dress, and go on a booze-fuelled rant directed at the guy’s wife. So basically I was in the curious position of 1) I pretty much guessed exactly what would happen to Theron’s character, and 2) I really couldn’t give a shit.

    If you want to make a movie with a main character who is that unlikeable, “Shame” is how you do it. “Shame”, not coincidentally, being a far superior film to “Young Adult”.

    I will give it this though: I thought Oswalt’s character was great, and largely responsible for everything that I thought was good about this movie. So it wasn’t a total failure.

    That said… damn, I can’t believe this was the same writer who did “Juno”. A movie of which I said something like: “What I really loved about it was that every character had redeeming qualities. Nobody was perfect but nobody was totally unsympathetic either. There wasn’t really a villain in it.” Well dialogue-wise “Young Adult” is a lot more naturalistic than “Juno”, but that wasn’t ever something that bothered me anyway. Other than that… just about everything Cody did in “Juno” that I liked was missing here, and there was nothing to replace it. Apart from Oswalt.

    Sorry Tawdry and Mouth, but I really didn’t enjoy this one. Couldn’t wait for it to end. Sorry guys.

  334. See, that’s exactly what Young Adult is about! You’ve seen this movie 100 times over with a male lead and you’ve accepted it with a male lead, but it’s somehow much more challenging with a woman in that role. I liked that.

  335. “In other words I’m basically saying that Morrison can eat a sheep’s stomach stuffed with dicks.”
    I’m scottish and I take offense to the racist stereotype. Apologise.

  336. Also, Morrison is a pretty damn good writer. I mean, Arkham Asylum is pretty much tits.

  337. I should stress that I’ve liked lots of Morrison’s other work, like WE3 and NEW X-MEN and ARKHAM ASYLUM. He’s one of the most imaginative writers around in any medium. I just feel that his recent BATMAN work shows him disappearing up his own ass and sacrificing one of the greatest characters in pop culture in the process. And since DC pretty much gave him carte blanche to piss all over anything he wanted, he basically ruined a whole universe for me. So I have a little grudge.

    Stu: I apologize. But if Morrison were any other nationality, I’d have adjusted my insult accordingly. Were he English, he could have eaten a greasy plate of heavily battered dicks. French, a small, unsatisfying, and overpriced portion of garlic-slathered dicks. Chinese, a takeout container of dicks and noodles, followed by another helping an hour later when his dick-craving suddenly returned.

  338. But can he write a prequel that shows us how Young Deckard (Zac Effron) acquired his preference for noodles and raincoats? Also: trauma by unicorn. Because that’s that kind of great writer that gets asses in the theaters, son!

  339. Rehydrated Dehydrated Pirate Paul

    February 8th, 2012 at 2:03 pm

    Tawdry – everyone’s opinion is subjective, etc. (I know this because Vern just told me he didn’t much care for “Kill List”. This depresses me a little.) I couldn’t finish “Bridesmaids”, even though I thought it was a pretty good movie, because I found it fairly unrelatable. I think a lot of women would probably have an easier time with it than I did. But that doesn’t really mean it’s a bad film, just one that didn’t really appeal to me.

    So you could say that the same thing applies to “Young Adult”, except I never thought that that movie was aimed at a particular “demographic”. It’s just somebody’s vision. Reitman’s or Cody’s or whatever.

    You could also say that I didn’t like the characters and that it was fairly predictable in where it was going and what would happen to the main characters… except I’d say the same thing about “Shame”, too, and I thought that was very good indeed. Certainly I never felt like walking out of “Shame”, even when faced with screenfuls of Fassbender cock; and I frequently did with “Young Adult”.

    Honestly I’m not sure where the movie fell down for me. By and large I thought it was well-directed and acted; I have no complaints on that score. The two leads were both fantastic. I feel like I’ve seen Theron’s character’s story many, many times before on the big screen, and I didn’t feel as though this film really offered anything new there… there were a lot of scenes that I also felt were kinda cliche’d (and when they occurred, such as Theron confronting the ex-bf’s wife, I saw them coming from miles off). But again, I don’t have any problem with the destination of the journey being predictable, just so long as the ride is interesting. This… wasn’t.

    So yeah… the craftsmanship was fine, the acting was very good indeed. But I never got invested in the film or its characters, and I found it all rather predictable and dull.

    Again… sorry. I don’t like to be the guy who rains on everyone else’s parade (“Vertigo” criticisms not withstanding, as I find many of the people who praise that film in terms of highbrow psycho-analysis a lot more insufferable than I find the film itself). But I’ve seen five great films in the cinema since 2012 started, plus two that I had some problems with but thought were pretty good nonetheless, and this one was a huge disappointment. It just fell really flat.

  340. Jareth – -I thought it was commonly accepted that Deckard watched SUDDEN IMPACT at an impressionable age and was traumatized for life. Or as Ridley Scott would have it, he’s programmed to fear unicorns BECAUSE HE’S A REPLICANT!!! HA HA HA HAH AHAH AHAH!

  341. Oh great, you just had to go there, didn’t you. Proud of yourself, little man?

  342. Rehydrated Dehydrated Pirate Paul

    February 8th, 2012 at 2:29 pm

    “The Silence” – great.
    “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo” – great.
    “Margin Call” – best film of the year so far.
    “Shame” – very good but very weird. Also COCK.
    “The Grey” – tense, atmospheric, mostly very good.
    “Haywire” – ok but with some real problems.
    “Chronicle” – very good.
    And now… “Young Adult” – first dud of the year.

    Seems like things started off fantastic this year, with some quality Fincher, some quality Spacey, and some quality… Nordic pedophile drama? – and then just started going downhill. Hope the decline doesn’t continue.


  344. Highlander Begins — where there are many highlanders all living in peace. The ending is the discovery that there can only be one. They mull over possibly killing eachother, but we cut to the credits before it happens.

    Alex Murphy: Regular Cop — Alex Murphy’s adventures in police academy where he meets his wife, has a kid and learns to do that gun trick.

    Tweens: The story of Casper and Chloe Seveny’s romance during summer camp.

  345. Gumm(ZERO) Where we find out where the bunny costume came from.

  346. Untied 93: Follows the daily lives of the Flight 93 heroes, before they were heroes. Note, this film is not actually based upon the real life passengers.

  347. Two bits of badass news just popped up on aicn: first, the stath is looking to remake the burt reynolds film, heat and the sly/arnie team-up, the tomb, looks like it’s on.

  348. Statham will be working with Brian De Palma on that one, which is the best news I’ve heard in a minute. I want to see the way my man BDP films fight scenes because that’s not something he’s ever really done before. I also hope they don’t chicken out on the title. “Oh, there’s another extremely well-known movie called HEAT? We hadn’t heard because fuck you, we’re Brian De Palma and Jason Statham.”

  349. Another good JUSTIFIED this week. I really like how this show isn’t afraid to take unexpected turns with formula, such as the scary screw getting took out like a bitch pretty early on this week. Next week seems like they’ll be sort of doing CRANK with Dewey too.

  350. Looked up the new details on THE TOMB and got a sense of deja vu. Stallone plays a wrongfully imprisoned guy called Ray, who has to escape jail with the help of one of a contemporary action movie star. Is this a stealth TANGO AND CASH remake?

  351. so House is cancelled

    I remember in 2006 – 2007 when the entire internet was obsessed with that show

    then they all moved on to Mad Men and Breaking Bad and completely forgot about House

  352. Don’t fuck with Scientology, or Anne Archer’s son will stalk your ass!


  353. This dude is a total weirdo, but oddly charismatic. He comes off poorly, but he is also 100% right.


    If a BBC broadcaster pulled this same shtick at a Mosque opening he would be (rightly) crucified by the press and society at large, outside of Glenn Beck types. The host is *clearly* being antagonistic and inflammatory, the way he slips in the word “cult” is the same way people drop “Hard J” Jews or mouth the words “black people” or “Mexicans” when they’re being racist in mixed company.

    A dude talked to me like that exactly one time in my life; I punched him so hard that he went parallel to the ground. And then he got expelled from the LAUSD for making racial slurs.

    Do I like Scientology or think that it’s real? Hells no. But if we’re going to exist in a free society where we all agree to generally respect one and other’s invisible friends, then we have to respect *everyone’s* invisible friend. The discussion of Scientology is so slanted and so openly bigoted that I honestly find it scary.

    South Park’s parody was fair game. But the casual jabs at Scientology’s so-called evils by people who never dare bring up the child rape that appears to be almost endemic to modern Catholicism, the Evangelical’s undue influence on the Reagan administration that resulted in a willful failure to contend with HIV/AIDS for 6 years, the Israeli Governments racially-motivated brutality, Hinduism’s caste system, the rabid and violent misogyny in a great many Middle Eastern states, Baptist church’s outspoken homophobia. And so on. And so on. And so on.

    I think religion is a pretty bad thing when taken as anything other than cultural history and poetry. But I think holding any one religion to a separate standard of scorn is far more grotesque.

  354. Mormonism and Scientology get a bad rap because, unlike other religions whose holy figures are long dead and buried, we actually have dirt on their prophets. I mean you’ve got a verified swindler and a sci-fi writer.

    Plus you gotta be willing to say some philosophies are superior to others. You name drop a few religions and their associated SNAFUs, but what do you have on, say, the Methodists, who allow openly gay preachers? Is it possible that maybe Mormonism, with its views on bigamy, sucks more than those Quakers who let women have equal roles in the church? So I get what you are saying, but I reserve the right to be selectively scornful. Not all opinions were created equally, in my opinion…

  355. Tawdry Hepburn – ooh, that’s a can of worms right there, I’m hesitant to even respond about it

    but you see, if you watch that whole documentary you see what the problem is, the fact that Scientology harasses it’s critics

    yeah they have a right to their kooky spaceman religion, but WE have a right to free speech and that means a right to publicly criticize it without being attacked

    if you want to play the game, you have to play by the rules and that means you have to be prepared to take criticism without acting like a bitch, could you imagine if the Catholic Church harassed Richard Dawkins or Penn Jillette like that Church of Scientology harasses it’s critics? no way in hell would that shit stand

    and in my opinion they act that way because they are kind of are a cult, not only did Elrond Hubba Hubba basically admit that he founded it to make money (and probably get pussy), but because they’re brand new when it comes to Religions they know they have to fight or else they could very easily go the way of the dodo

  356. Jared- Swedes are not the molesting type of people, except for animals that is (!) and I am embarrassed to say that I had to google Stina Nordenstam. I never heard that name before and shé IS famous (apparently) and from my country….so I have no excuse

  357. so…got a few things I’d like to share with you all

    first off is the trailer for Iron Sky http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=Py_IndUbcxc

    Sarah Palin versus Nazis from the dark side of the moon, please tell me I’m not the only one that thinks that’s awesome?

    secondly is this story about a lady who claims she had an affair with JFK and some of the strange details


    like evidently Kennedy liked to take baths with her and play with rubber duckies, that’s kind of…..cute?

  358. IRON SKY looks like it will be utterly terrific or utterly terrible. There will be no middle ground.

    Not to fear – if it does indeed suck and I need some euro-wonderousness I’ll just pop in NORWEGIAN NINJA and everything will be OK again.

    That picture of Sly and Arnie on hospital beds has depressed me somewhat. We should appreciate them whilst they’re here. I know they’re not actually ill and all but still. It made me think.

    There’s other guys around who a lot of people *think* can do what they do but seriously, where’s the next Stallone? Who is there than can write/direct/star? Who else has a story like Arnold? (answer: no fucking one).

    Also, I want a film called SMASH TO BLACK.

  359. Stu – did you catch The Blessed’s recent interview the other Sunday morning? He was just fantastic on it. His story about him meeting the Dalai Lama had me choking on my cornflakes.

    Also, as I’m sure you know, his FLASH GORDON commentary is truly awesome.

    I loved his Have I Got News For You guest hosting appearance, too.

    Truly, a national treasure.

  360. Gordon’s ALIIIIIIIIVE? LIVE live live….

  361. Is the Burt Reynolds film HEAT similar to those other action movies he did in the early 1980s, STICK and MALONE, or is it something different?

    Also, how are those films regarded these days? They always seemed like Canon Films also-rans to me, but I’m only basing that on my vague memory of the trailers.

    Mr. Subtlety: I nominate Michael Cera as the Young Mr. Hands. And Joan Van Ark and Udo Kier as his abusive parents. Directed by Rob Zombie.

    ShootMcKay: If I can’t fly into Agnetha Fältskog International Airport, that really dampens my enthusiasm for visiting Sweden. Svartsoppa alone just isn’t going to cut it.

  362. Griff:

    The whole of Western Society has already been terraformed to be convenient and accommodating to Christians. As you said, you’re afraid to even *comment* on my short list of recent atrocities. And I’m not even bringing up historical wrongdoings. I’m talking about the here and now.

    People revere John Paul II. But at the same time, we all know that the man was either A: complicit in a large scale, international multi-billion dollar conspiracy to protect, aid and abet child rapists, or B: He was so wholly incompetent at his job that he allowed billions of dollars to be funneled into a large scale multinational conspiracy to protect, aid and abet child rapists.

    Reading the above paragraph sounds utterly scandalous, doesn’t it? But am I wrong? I don’t think so. And if I were accusing, let’s say…a fading pop star or the assistant coach at a major college with these allegations, that guy would be lynched in the media. But I bet even just reading my accusation about things that you *know* are true, makes you uncomfortable. I feel uncomfortable writing them. If this were any other site besides Vern’s, I would likely be banned for life just for writing that paragraph.

    That’s how strong the social coercion of Christianity is in America. Christianity doesn’t need a slick pitchman to go on CNN, they already have your superego to the point where it is somehow controversial to be outspoken against child rape.

  363. Jareth, Heat is more thriller than action. I’ve only seen it once and found it a bit slow, but I think a remake with The Stath could be just what the story deserves. Also, if you’re enthusiastic about visiting Sweden I would recommend a cold shower and some Lukas Moodysson movies. That will fix you right up.

  364. Religion is the greatest business in the world. Morality never plays a role in it; ever. It’s all bullshit they use to manipulate the masses. They don’t live by their actual word. It’s the greatest mafia ever. I always said “worse comes to worse I’ll become a pastor” and I’m fucking agnostic lol but it’s an easy ass legal hustle.

    I think the guy had his right to be defensive the first time around. But once it came to him having people follow Sweeney around and him actually himself also following the guy that’s just doing his job; it gets a lil sketchy.

    The whole intimidation tactics bullshit just says “hey guys we do have something to hide”. They don’t have the temperament to play it cool at all. I don’t care if you’re the new religion on the block. The christians and all those other guys have gotten critiqued plenty of time for their wrongdoings (hello THE CRUSADES!!!). It’s all over the internet every single day ha ha.

    Throughout history this has been going on. Hell the muslims and the jews are still warring to this very day. But the other religions don’t duck and hide and then stalk like scientologists do. They have their right to be left the fuck alone and believe whatever the hell they believe but they also have to respect others’ right to not be stalked and harassed too.

  365. Burt Reynolds’ HEAT had one of the most homo erotic posters of all time. Down to the tagline.

  366. Tawdry: I hear you, brother. Did you see the new Newsweek cover with the headline “The War on Christianity”? Holy fucking shit. The gall of these people. I know their savior literally got nailed to a cross but can these motherfuckers have more of a crucifixion complex? Excuse me, but are Christian teenagers being bullied into killing themselves all across the country? Are groups picketing Christian funerals and waving around signs in front of the deceased’s relatives saying their loved ones are burning in hell? Are Christians being prevented from defying the fucking Constitution by inserting their religious views into their political platforms? Has this country ever elected a president or even vice president who didn’t explicitly identify himself as Christian? Are Christians racially profiled every time they try to get on an airplane? Have Hannakuh cartoons replaced Christmas specials as the late December programming of choice? The answer to all that shit is FUCK NO.

    Any criticism/jokes at their expense is just tiny rocks tossed at the throne because the rest of us are so sick of taking their shit and not being able to do anything about it, and yet they act like they’re being rounded up in the streets and shipped off to internment camps. Everybody bends over backwards to make these regressive motherfuckers happy, but they would have you believe that they’re an oppressed minority. If there’s a war on Christianity, Christianity is fucking winning.

    Christians: You can’t take giant, systematic shits on my values and then pretend that you’re the underdogs. That’s not what Jesus would do.

  367. They don’t follow Jesus they follow their pastor’s and priests. That’s the difference. The “lord” is not their shepherd. Man is and that is where they fail. Liberation from all the bullshit is the best shit IMO. “Just be” like I’m sure some TV commercial probably once said.

  368. Thanks, pegsman. I looked up a Lukas Moodysson film called A HOLE IN MY HEART and got this description:

    “In a decript apartment, a young man watches as his father and a friend shoot an amateur porn film. Issues of morality, reality TV and friendship are explored.”

    Out of respect for the serious and interesting discussion going on around this comment, I’ll refrain from making a bad joke involving holes and porn.

  369. Huh. Seems there’s an Eastwood/Reynolds film called CITY HEAT that I’ve never even heard of before. Depression-era private dick stuff. No, I didn’t find it when I was searching for the homoerotic HEAT poster. Why would I do that? DON’T JUDGE ME!

  370. City Heat’s a fine example of how marketing can seriously fuck up a movie. If you view it as a gangster/private eye thriller along the lines of The Maltese Falcon it’s actually quite good. But someone got the idea that it’s a comedy and have peppered the script with stupid jokes that doesn’t serve the story at all.

  371. It’s so obvious that so much of Christianity is anti-Jesus. This guy was a 99 percenter and a communist. You think he would be down with the fucking Vatican?

  372. Funny/sad HEAT story.

    I found it as a coverless vhs tape at a pawn shop as a youth; i assumed it had Shannon Whirry and/or Shannon Tweed making out with other ladies due to its title and rating. It did not.

    I miss Shannon Whirry.

  373. Where’s this homoerotic HEAT poster? The only one I found was this, which, I don’t know, maybe I’m just naive, but it doesn’t seem homoerotic at all:


    I mean, that’s a great tagline. I’m watching that fuckin’ movie.

    Wait, are we talking about the CITY HEAT poster?


    I guess if you really read into “get together” you can draw a few conclusions about the sassy look Burt is giving Clint…but isn’t that pretty much the way he looks at everybody? Burt just wants to make sweet, sweet love to one and all. That’s his gift to the world.

  374. this one

    I know the implication is that he’s a bad ass who threw some guy through a window. But because the guy is so neatly laid out there it just seems like some guy with a broken window taking a nap while Burt peers in and realizes that “it doesn’t get any hotter” *cringe*

    The implication of THAT of course adds new meaning to “isn’t a violent man by nature. He’s just good at it.”

  375. Rehydrated Dehydrated Pirate Paul

    February 9th, 2012 at 1:50 pm

    Tawdry – I usually hate to follow trends, but I gotta agree about the Catholic Church and Mormonism. Scientology, not so much. I find it difficult to regard it as anything more than some kind of bizarre joke at the expense of people like Tom Cruise.

    Anyway, if I get going on the subject of organised religion, I will be writing five-page diatribes here, so I won’t. But hell yeah I agree.

  376. Anthony – I miss Shannon Whirry as well. She was actually under-rated as an actress, pretty much up for anything softcore, and as Seagal himself told us, you can dial a phone with her nipples.

    I miss Shannon Tweed alot too, even though I’m well aware I could probably watch her anytime I want on Gene Simmons Family Jewels (does anyone know if her equally hot sister Tracy appears on that show too?)

  377. It’s not just Christians, the problem is that basically, Old White Men used to enjoy complete hegemony over society, and now they just dominate it as other opinions and groups assert themselves. But they see the writing on the wall — that’s why they’re going so crazy right now (they make up the vast majority of tea party support, for instance). They know that any respect afforded to other opinions and groups diminishes their ability to control the culture and the dialogue, and they see it as a zero-sum game. So yeah, they feel attacked, because they really are losing control. Its gradual, but you all know what’s going to eventually happen, and so do they. So, they do the only thing there is for scared old men who are used to always getting exactly what they want without question TO do: they constantly fucking whine about how life is unfair and how it’s everyone else’s fault.

  378. They’re not going to lose their power. I have read The Illuminatus Trilogy and know what’s Really Going On!

  379. Max Landis must be the most self aggrandizing hipster to come from the world of hollywood nepotism yet. What an ignorant douchebag. The first few seconds of that video said it all. Then again how could Iever expect a spoiled beverly hills brat who’s greatest grievance in life was probably having an unwaxed sports car to even understand the “champion of the oppressed” (Superman).

    Crawl back to the cave your “hasn’t made a watchable movie in 24 years and got away with causing the death of a screen legend” has been hiding in since BEVERLY HILLS COP III please. I saw CHRONICLE and to be frank I wish I had just rewatched AKIRA instead by the end. The kid should work on polishing his craft as a writer a lot more and become a better idea guy.

  380. I don’t know, DEER WOMAN was pretty awesome.

  381. the word dad was supposed to be in there somewhere. Sorry; sometimes just sometimes these anti-Superman guys still grind my gears. Especially when they say obvious shit like they just discovered the meaning of life. Everybody knew the Death & Return of Superman’s intents and flaws back when the story was still fresh in stands. Shit isn’t rocket science. Lobbying critiques people have been throwing at the story for over 20 years and using your hollywood connects for well timed cameos does not make for a useful or insightful video.

  382. Majestyk – That reminds me that I’ve slept on MASTERS OF HORROR for far too long now. For years everybody keeps telling me “dude watch it” cause of my love for horror anthologies but I just kinda never did. Gonna have to rent the whole series sometime and give it a go. I want to believe John Landis is still capable of shooting something watchable every now and then. I mean talent can’t completely escape a once very talented person right? even Steve Martin and Eddie Murphy had BOWFINGER.

  383. I like DEER WOMAN a lot, and Max Landis wrote it. It’s ridiculous and funny and kinda gory and the title character has a truly stunning rack. Plus it proves that Brian Benben should have had a better career.

    And I don’t want to bring up old shit, but Landis didn’t “cause” the death of anybody. He could have maybe stopped it if he had been paying more attention but he basically took his crew’s word for it that this stunt was safe. And why wouldn’t he? They’re the professionals. He played a role, for sure, but let’s not reduce a tragic accident to finger-pointing.

  384. Brian Benben was the man. DREAM ON is forever going to be one of my all time favorite shows and Dolph has yet to ever get a better sidekick than him in any other movie. Not even Brandon Lee.

    RE: Landis – The director’s job is to ASSURE that his crew is doing everything by the book, meeting all regulations and confirming that everything is ok for the rest of the production to proceed. It was irresponsible as hell for him to just “take his crew’s word for it”. I could never agree with that excuse. He was basically the HNIC on set.

  385. I just remembered right now how my cousin used to always incorrectly call Brian Benben “the guy from QUANTUM LEAP”. I guess looking like Scott Bakula’s brother didn’t really do wonders for the poor guy’s career. But yeah he should’ve been bigger. Maybe QT could give him a role in a future movie or something.

  386. But Broddie, a director hires professionals to accomplish things he doesn’t know how to do. A director is not a stunt coordinator, a helicopter pilot, nor a pyrotechnician, so how’s he supposed to know all the technical shit that goes into making a big stunt safe? A director tells his department heads what he wants, and they work out the best way to make it happen, using skills that the director does not possess. He doesn’t run around testing every nut and bolt on the set because that’s not feasible, any more than it’s feasible for a general to run around a battlefield, making sure every individual soldier has his gun loaded properly. At a certain point, you have to trust the team you’ve assembled.

  387. I’m sorry Majestyk but when the director tells his stunt team to go “LOWER LOWER LOWER” (per eyewitnesses) with something as dangerous as spinning propeller blades they have to take some type of accountability. I think what makes the death of Morrow and that kid so tragic is how unnecessary it all was. But you’re right pros are pros though and had they not conceded and just pulled through with the stunt as originally planned we may be talking about the latter half of Vic Morrow’s career sometimes on this board. At the same time they couldn’t go against the director so it all does fall on him.

  388. Who produced it? You gotta follow the money.

  389. True but Spielberg would never EVER admit that he was on set during that fiasco despite what eye witnesses claim. To this day he denies it.

  390. Landis is definitely guilty of violating labor laws concerning the kids working at night (an infraction, not even a misdemeanor) but the accident itself is such a freak confluence of occurrences (a pyrotechnician let off two explosions at the wrong time without checking the location of the chopper, Morrow dropped the little girl when he wasn’t supposed to, and, most bizarrely, the coating of the helicopter rotor came off, something that had never happened before in the history of aviation) that to say Landis caused it because he said “Lower!” (something it’s a pilot’s job to disregard if he finds it unsafe) is grossly reductive. He was definitely far too overzealous in getting this shot, which put the kids in a place they shouldn’t have been, but Morrow would have been in the position no matter what Landis did. He was dealing with old school Hollywood stuntmen who assured him everything would be fine. He’d seen them pull off miracles plenty of times before. Why should he think this time would be any different? It was a tragedy that a lot of people had little parts in. Let’s not trivialize it by dropping it all on one man’s shoulders.

  391. Rehydrated Dehydrated Pirate Paul

    February 9th, 2012 at 6:14 pm

    Shannon Whirry brings back memories of loads of, in retrospect, utterly terrible Channel 5 softcore stuff that even my fourteen-year-old self recognised were terrible, but would watch anyway because, hey, boobs!

    Along with “Red Shoe Diaries” – staple of early Channel 5 – starring, of all people, David Duchovny. I thought this was one of those things that nobody else would even have heard of but it keeps getting referenced here for some reason. I really don’t want to go into why that is.

    Other things that depress me (strangely, boobs are not on that list): organised religion. And although I didn’t want to go into it, I think I should probably clarify myself on one point, so here we go.

    So… as much as I find the very concept of faith pretty much at odds with my personal world view, I recognise that everybody sees the world differently, we all have our own perspectives, etc. (This is the only way that I can sometimes explain myself and Mouth being of the same species.) Put simply, I have nothing against personal faith.

    Organised religion, on the other hand, I have a helluva lot against. And the great reason for that is it often seems to boil down to a system of morality that is *nothing* like my own. I believe, basically, that you should be able to do what you want or need to do, provided that you’re not hurting others in the process. It’s not my business or anybody else’s who you sleep with or what you do in bed, what you stuff in your body, etc. I’m actually against the legalisation of certain drugs that are now illegal – not all of them, but some (for the sole reason that I know a couple of people who work as drug counsellors who believe that legalisation of some drugs would be a terrible idea with consequences that the pro-legalisation lobby hasn’t begun to address) and it genuinely depresses me that what I consider a fairly mild point of view seems to get lumped with religious right anti-drug hysteria.

    But anyway… I believe that if somebody tells you that you can’t do something, that they won’t allow you to do it, and uses as their authority for this pronouncement their own personal reading of a book that’s over two thousand years old, then this person is wrong. And the fact that so many people disagree with me on that basic point depresses the hell out of me.

  392. maybe he denies it BECAUSE HE WASN’T ACTUALLY THERE?

    honestly, these Twilight Zone debates have been done to death, everyone should agree to just pack it up and put it in storage already

    and I absolutely loved Masters of Horror, not every episode was great, some of them were flat out bad, but the good ones were really good and I just loved the variety of the show, you literally had NO idea what you were gonna see next and it was super exciting to see the preview for the next episode at the end of every episode

    man, I really, really wish it had lasted more than just two seasons

    by the way John Landis’ episodes were some of the best, so were John Carpenter’s, however Joe Dante’s episode in season 2 was hilariously Godawful, maybe even the worst of the whole series

    the unaired Takashi Miike episode (which I later saw on Netflix) is probably the best episode of the whole series, it’s some of the most disturbing, depressing and outright nihilistic shit I’ve ever seen, it’s at least 10 times more affecting than even the best episodes of the series

  393. and Tawdry, I’m sorry but I just can’t let Scientology’s harassment slide, yeah other Religions have done fucked up things too, but that doesn’t mean Scientology should get a free pass

    I mean if that Tommy Davis fucker had got in my face like that I would have told him to shove his CULT up his whiny fucking asshole

    I mean good God does that guy have a face that you just want to punch, really hard, preferably with a metal boxing glove

    and as far as Catholic priests molesting kids go, everyone and their grandma has heard of that, jokes about it are as common as airline food jokes (I actually rolled my eyes at the joke in the third Harold and Kumar related to it, way to be edgy guys), I mean it was absolutely plastered all over the news when those scandals broke, but how many people outside of the internet have heard of Scientology’s harassment? how many people have even heard of the Xenu thing? not as many people as have heard about Catholic priests molesting kids

    and Christians kind of have a right to be paranoid because if they’re wrong, their Religion is on it’s way out, it’s pretty much become a laughing stock in these modern times and you’re gonna see a very sharp decline in it over the next generation I think

  394. and one more thing, not only are jokes are about Catholic priests molesting kids as common as airline food jokes, but so are just jokes about Christianity in general

    I mean every single standup comedian these days, from Patton Oswalt to Ricky Gervais feels the need to make fun of Christianity, you have cartoons like Family Guy making fun of God and Jesus and you have Richard Dawkins books being bestsellers

    so of course they’re gonna freak the hell out because this is all a relatively new thing, I remember back in the 90’s when just The Simpsons with the character of Ned Flanders was shocking, now that’s tame in comparison

    I’m not saying this is a bad thing, but the fallout from it has resulted in Christians only becoming more and more right wing

    so bottom line, Christians may control politics, but they don’t control popular culture at all

  395. ok just one more last thing

    Shannon Whirry has a literally perfect pair of boobs

  396. “Book that is over 2000 years old”

    *Cough* 1800 at most and not codified until the Council of Neyce about 1500 years ago and then repeatedly and willfully mistranslated up to the modern day *Cough*

  397. Hells yeah, did you know that the word “homosexual” does not actually appear in the bible because the term didn’t exist until the 1800s?

    also griff, what are these drugs that shouldn’t be legalized? Certainly they should at least be decriminalized, their addiction viewed as a disease and not a crime?

  398. I never said anything about drugs, Paul did

  399. Wow … that’s not even the first time I’ve done that…

  400. Yeah, Paul. Why you always getting names wrong?

  401. So where are they going to split up The Hobbit? Obviously the first film ends with him finding the ring and escaping from Gollum’s cave right?

    Gotta say, as much as I thought I was over that shit, I got a lil misty when the dwarves start singing in the trailer…

  402. I could never make it through any of those fucking books in their entirety so I don’t even know where it would be “split” to segue into the next movie. Tolkien’s writing is so damn pointlessly long winded that he loses me half way through. Not just the trilogy but THE HOBBIT too which isn’t even a long ass book just a pretty boring one though the most entertaining of the 4 I guess. The movies are definitely legit though so they got my money anyway.

  403. What, you didn’t find The Silmarillion, to be utterly captivating?

  404. Frankly,after reading that I could not possibly care less about the RAMBO-franchise anymore. I´m still upset about the Patronizing Garbage for 13 yearolds-piece of shit EXPENDABLES2 and expect that RAMBO (IF they are making more of them) follow the same Path of Doom that leads to the Wasteland of My Low Expectations.

  405. What Shoot says. If Expendables 2 is PG 13, why not Rambo V? Do it in 3D while he’s at it.

    Would be surprised if Bullet To The Head is anything but PG 13 as well.

  406. Guys, what is everyone’s thoughts on Polanski’s violent rape of an underage girl? Me? I’m against it.

    Also, that one scientology dude (scientolodude?) was right on. If some asshole approached me and started calling me faith a cult I’d get pissed off, too. Doubly so if he was a fucking worm about it and claimed to not have said it but that he’s a reporter and just repeating what others have said. Passive aggressive dickishness like that is the worst. Fucking man up and own what you mean, asshole, and don’t try to hide behind bullshit.

    All this bourgeois-internet-nerd bashing of religion gets me pretty sick. I’m militantly agnostic but Jesus, people, the problem isn’t religion. How many well actualized people with their shit together cause all these problems that get blamed on religion? Not many. It’s a symptom of larger societal ills. It’s easy to pin point the ills in America (Capitalism, it’s not an accident that the religious right and free market assholes are allies) and in other parts of the world it’s everything from soul crushing poverty that is exploited by tyrants (Hello, Middle East!) to a complex system of cultural traditions that has taken a life of its own (Hollatchaboy, Catholic Church!).

    Sure, it’s easy to stroke yourself off and talk about how stupid and evil religion is but it doesn’t actually do anything to help anyone but yourself.

  407. I’m getting worried about BULLET TO THE HEAD. The trailer was ready to go in December and still no sign of it.

    I know Chud says it’s incoming but such lateness does not give off a good vibe.

    Hope I’m wrong but yeah, Mike A, with no sign of what the rating is, it could indeed turn out to be PG-13.

  408. Also, if Mouth is reading this I kept meaning to respond to your Chomsky criticism but I just found your opinion of him so astoundingly wrong as to make me utterly confused.

    I’ve seen Chomsky rail against how shitty Humanities can be and how he simply can’t understand most of Foucault and his contemporaries. All of your other criticisms came down to me thinking, “So?” Seriously, he spends a lot of time setting up arguments because the subjects he writes about are complex and should be discussed at length.

    Don’t get me wrong, someone like Zizek is more accessible because he’s funny and can turn a phrase but Chomsky has a lot to contribute as well.

    Also, I’ve never seen Chomsky make the assertions you have problems with in regards to sports. It’s a subject I don’t really care for as the closest I come to watching sports is Professional Wrestling, although I’ve been playing a lot of soccer and basketball lately, so I’ve not really gone out of my way to read a lot of Chomsky on sports. Still, what I have read is to make me think he doesn’t actually communicate the things you take issue with.

    Mostly, though, I’m baffled by your reading of Chomsky. Calling what he writes somehow pedantic or rantings just confuses me. There are lots of people I read and admire that I can claim that of, but Chomsky isn’t one.

  409. I say, give religion a break1 It´s food for your soul, not the mind….

  410. Looking at religion through the lens of logic is only gonna piss you off. . Speaking of food for your soul. here´s Michael Parks:


  411. Holy macaroni,Mr Majestyk!! The first SNAKE EATER movie is so fuckin´weird it´s impossible for me to process it all after one sitting. I can see myself returning to this movie telling my friends” You wanna see a fucked up weird movie whilst drinking beer?! Well here is one for the books!” And Lorenzo Lamas just comes across as not as a badass but just….bad! Please tell me that he comes across as more of a bad ass in the sequels?! That goofy scene when they are tied up in sleeping bags??? I fuckin laughed so hard I almost wet myself!! That´s not badass! Fuck that shit! I want bad assness! And we only get it at the beginning ! Don´t get me wrong I really enjoyed this goof-fuck of a flick! But Jesus! The bad guys are just a bunch of yokels! How fuckin hard can it be to waste them?! As I said though, real fuckin movie! But why is the hero so weak in this one?

  412. Too many exclamation marks…?

  413. That’s the genius of the SNAKE EATER saga. Lorenzo “My character needs at least three nicknames” Lamas isn’t really a hero or a badass, he’s just a fuckin’ psycho goofball. You really need to see the whole series to get the full scope of the glorious WTF-ness. We are so deep into the eighties by this point that it went and became the nineties and no one noticed.

  414. Well, then I just have to dive into the madness again!

  415. You will not regret watching SNAKE EATER III; that is a guarantee.

  416. The problem is, I cannot handle so much awesomeness in 24 hours. Jesus! If Eddie Murphy and Nick Nolte took 48 hours to sort their shit, I think I need a bit more time.I´ll be back…

  417. I think the second one is the apex of the series, but the third one is almost as good.

  418. I´ll look forward to watch these fuckers…

  419. “All this bourgeois-internet-nerd bashing of religion gets me pretty sick.”

    Yeah but in light of the internet existing, it was bound to happen, since it allows you to access all sorts of information.

  420. But the fact that I need to see all the three SNAKE EATERS to get the full scope of their WTF-ness….kind of make me scared in a way…..

  421. …real fuckin scared… and I am not shittin you!! I don´t know what do with myself….

  422. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XVqwsGx-ljE

    I mean if that doesn’t convince you then nothing will. I used to watch that movie in spanish often too so it doubled the WTFness of it all. As you can see this time he’s got a “ghetto kid for a partner”. They become masters of disguise and he manages to have a very non chalant demeanor during shootouts and grenade tossing. Those movies got better as they went along part 1 was definitely the weakest IMO.

  423. Broddie – i did not watch the trailer, but I will take your word for it that they got better.It´s just that immidate experiance from the first one that creeped me out. i will definitely watch these movies but I will have too digest the first one.

  424. I mean…JESUS… that first SNAKE EATER was fucked up. No normal person would get some gratification out of it. It certainly needs to sink the fuck in!

  425. But I will sink my teeth inton them as soon a possibel! No sissiness here!

  426. Pace yourself. No one can withstand the full frontal impact of the entire SNAKE EATER saga all at once, not even Lorenzo Lamas himself.

    Has anyone ever seen HAWK’S VENGEANCE with Gary Daniels? I have this sneaking suspicion that it was meant to be a SNAKE EATER spin-off, since Daniels is a British marine trying to get revenge for the death of his “American” (i.e., Tororontoan) stepbrother, who’s named “Soldier.” It’s just too bizarre to think that somebody just coincidentally came up with two characters that have the first name “Soldier” for no good reason, especially since HV comes from the same Canadian studio (which eventually became Lionsgate) that produced the SNAKE EATER series. I wonder if Lamas turned down the chance to kill off the Snake Eater character in a cameo but they just decided not to change the character’s name because, shit, reprinting scripts takes paper and toner. You think they’re made out of money up there in Canadia?

  427. It´s actually no joke. 2-3 hours after finishing SNAKE EATER I am still having problem finding my place in society again. I am laying in my couch with my pillow and blanket as my safety zone contemplating what the hell I just witnessed. If you have not seen SNAKE EATER I do not expect you to understand.

  428. It is by far the best damn near scene for scene remake of FIRST BLOOD ever. I could definitely see how such a great display of hillbilly slaughter could leave one pretty shaken.

  429. If SNAKE EATER has that kind of effect on you I would recommend staying away from NEVER TOO YOUNG TO DIE, in which John Stamos is a college gymnast turned superspy who has an Asian stereotype make him gadgets so he can defeat an evil rock star hermaphrodite played by Gene Simmons who has his/her own cult of Mad Max berserkers. However, you could probably handle THE FINAL ALLIANCE, in which David Hasselhoff’s mullet fights evil rednecks with the help of his pet puma. Or even DEMOLITION HIGH, from legendary director Jim Wynorski, in which an Uzi-wielding Corey Haim plays a 30-year-old high school student with frosted tips who has to prevent a bunch of terrorists from launching a nuclear missile off the roof of the school. Alan Thicke and Dick Van Patten also appear for reasons unknown. (Avoid the sequel, DEMOLITION UNIVERSITY, though. It lacks that undefinable Wynorski touch.)

  430. Is it that movie that Renny Harlin directed? I know he directed a movie with John Stamos. And Stamos cannot have made too many action movies!

  431. And I recent the notion of not being able to handle dumb action-movies. I have seen a Godfrey Ho movie and two starring Richard Harrison and Pierre Kirby,thank you very much!!

  432. To the best of my knowledge, Renny Harlin and John Stamos have never worked together. But NEVER TOO YOUNG TO DIE is definitely the kind of hard-hitting retardation that Renny could have really hit out of the park.

  433. So don´t go JUDGE A BOOK BY IT´S COVER or think WHAT A USELESS GUY already…..

  434. It has the forgotten Bond as Stamos’ poppa and also has the best looking woman of the 80’s (Vanity) ACTION JACKSON style. So I guess that is reason enough to still check it out; if you dare.

  435. Well, then I am clearly wrongly informed, I was under the impression he was working on the BORN AMERICAN project. But after visiting the allmighty IMDB I am proving wrong. So I have no idea where that came from.

  436. Casey:


    There’s a weird video of Chomsky explaining the sports thing. Wish I could find the essay…it was more detailed.

  437. We all have our little Renny Harlin fantasies. As for me, I like to imagine that he actually got to direct that WEREWOLVES ON THE MOON movie that got talked about a few years ago.

  438. Is there someone out there that can explain the crazy notion that John Stamos was working on a Renny Harlin project, because I have that idiotic idea in my brain that they colabborated on a project!!

  439. I definitely have that idea that Harlin and Stamos was working together!!

  440. Itv probably went to shit as it seema, butI ermemeber something about Stamos and Harlin on BORN AMERICAN. You´re sure that no of the co star are not Staomos, some of the cast seems ehhh…suspiscious and that the VHS cover culd have featured that “Handsome” man. I remember a VHS cover featuring John Stamos of BORN AMERICAN goddamnit! Have you guys seen it??

  441. Has anyone seen BORN AMERICAN ?

  442. John Stamos was in BORN AMERICAN in one way or another, that is what I am sayin´goddammit!

  443. I fail to understand what’s so wrong or controversial with what Chomsky says there.

    There is a segment of society that only uses their intelligence in ways that allow them to follow a sports team or otherwise partake in a hobby of some sort. Oftentimes these people are seen as being dim or otherwise not as intelligent, I think Chomsky naming them “Joe Six Pack” gets to that, but that they can have an incredible amount of intelligence in the one or two areas they care about.

    That furthermore sports can be used, for such people, to get people to have a herd mentality. The major thrust of this, and I think how it is tied into Chomsky via Manufacturing Consent, is that capitalism does a great job of giving us all something to become fanatically interested in and that this oftentimes becomes fanatical interest at the exclusion of all else. This breeds a certain passivity in most lowly actualized people. Sports is one way that this can happen.

    I’m confused as to where the controversy comes from? Or am I misunderstanding Chomsky, which is entirely possible?

  444. I was bringing that Chomsky thing up in a positive light. I think he is 100% right on.

  445. You’re also accurate in your analysis of Chomsky’s analysis. (But not meta-analysis. That’s different.)

    Sports for some, B-grade action movies for others.

  446. Why do the guys who write papers or work on theories like that always have names like “Chomsky”? Do they feel they have to go into a profession as pretentious as what they’re called? Why isn’t there a famous modern philospher called “Pete Smith” or something?

  447. Stu – Fuck pretentious people. Fuck Chomsky. Unless you´re name is Frank Dux you have no worth in my world.

  448. A slice of enjoyable craziness with the latest trailer for action-horror video game CHAINSAW LOLLIPOP, which is being written by James Gunn:

  449. What is pretentious about the name “Chomsky”? You’re confusing your associations after the fact with your initial impressions.

    Tim Wise is a brilliant modern thinker with a common name.

    Also, CASEY:

    I think religion is something specific and different. As I pointed out above, child rape is like, the least controversial thing in America. *Everyone* is against child rape…except for child rapists and Roman Polanski fans (joke!) and yet, because the rapists are related to a religion, people are willing to look the other way. I think that is indicative of something much larger within the culture.

  450. Shoot: Just a wild guess on my part, but exactly how drunk are you right now?

  451. I am drunk as shit! But, I am quite sure that John Stamos WAS attached to BORN AMERICAN at some stage. I am quite sure I´ve seen some promos of that pretty boy fuck at some point! PLEASE somoeone come to my rescue. I know I´ve seen some form of Harlin/Stamos poster. That does not mean the movie got made. But Jesus Fuckin Christ, I know Stamos was involved in some kind of way…

  452. “What is pretentious about the name “Chomsky”? You’re confusing your associations after the fact with your initial impressions.”
    Sorry, I did mean pretentious SOUNDING. I mean you don’t hear the name “Noam Chomsky” and imagine a bricklayer, do you? Which is another thing. I’m fairly certain when he was first brought up here, it was simply as “Chomsky” with no mention of his first name, indicating he’s fairly unique as someone with the surname who’d be known for something. People like that are hogging all the notedness from other people with the same name! The only other non-learned occupation that would unsurprisingly feature someone called “Chomsky” would be an MMA fighter, I think.

    “Tim Wise is a brilliant modern thinker with a common name.”
    No, he’s a real life comic book character, since he’s got a surname that conveniently describes him.

  453. I think David Harvey is brilliant and that’s a pretty common name. He does have one of those funny foreign accents, though.

    I think the molestation within the Catholic Church had more to do with it being a fairly insular community where everyone wanted to protect one another. That it was religious institution was a lot less important than it was a world wide organization where people tended to be more loyal to the organization and its members than the community they were there to serve. It isn’t like evils aren’t covered up in other such organizations (police, military, etc). I’m not trying to defend the Catholic Church, they used money that poor people give them to protect child rapists, I just think that blaming that on religion or faith is inaccurate.

    Where people defend the Catholic Church against these criticisms, and I’ve seen those people, they do it because it’s their team and people see being a member of the Catholic Church as something more tribal than anything.

  454. Ok, let´s forget for one second that Stamos was associated with BORN AMERICAN. What poster did I see were Stamos was hugging a car huv?

  455. Mr Majestyk – Oh THAAAAAAT movie thatihaveneverseeninmyentirelifeandthatatthispointwillhideunderneathmyskinasashitstormIwillnevermentionagain! hehehe

  456. How could I miss that. OK. Mr Majestyk. You have me beat for now. Thnak god we have that settle straight…….

  457. Let us never speak of this again. OK?

  458. Ahem.. On the behalf of all actionfans, I swear to never on a drunken basis claim movies that John Stamos or any other nameless dipshit be in part of any movie that I claim to be. Any person/individual that may be part of said b-movie activity may not by Shoot McKay claim to be a part of (…fuck…)

  459. Please someone forgive me for this horrendous mistake!

  460. Did anybody get a chance to see THE INNKEEPERS? I didn’t love it like I did HOUSE OF THE DEVIL, but it’s still a pretty wonderful and entertaining horror movie.

    I’m sad to see that it looks like it’s tanking even taking into consideration its small release. It’s already left DC after one week.

  461. That stinks, Dan, a friend of mine mentioned that she wanted to go see it. Was it at E Street?

  462. It was at West End cinema near the Foggy Bottom metro. My wife, brother and I saw it on Tuesday and all really liked it. I don’t think it’s particularly scary, but it’s really fun, funny and displays a lot of the virtues that West showed in HotD (especially patience) that I wish were more prevalent in horror movies.

    I knew it was never going to light the world on fire, but since INNKEEPERS is a lot more conventionally entertaining than HotD, I was hoping it might at least be a minor arthouse hit or something. Too bad.

  463. Rehydrated Dehydrated Pirate Paul

    February 10th, 2012 at 2:13 pm

    Everyone – the Catholic Church, as an organisation, STILL opposes the use of condoms in places where AIDS is absolutely rampant (generally sub-Saharan Africa). In this way alone, they’ve probably caused tens if not hundreds of thousands of unnecessary deaths, and many many more will follow. And the worst you guys can find to say about them is that they’ve protected a few pedophiles…? That’s like saying the Nazis are terrible because they stole gold fillings from the Jews.

    Or to put it another way, if someone stole a cupcake and bathed in the blood of five freshly killed virgins, I know which crime would receive the most press. Get ’em for what matters! (Not that the pedophile thing doesn’t matter… but it’s not exactly in the same league as their many, many other crimes.)

    As for the drugs thing, I don’t know enough to argue a case. On principle I do believe that people should be able to do what they want with their own bodies. I know a few drug support workers who believe in the principle of legalisation but who also believe that it would create practical and public health problems in society that haven’t even begun to be addressed. Personally I’d rather see people I know take legal “clean” drugs than the imported stuff that’s cut with petrol or arsenic, but the drug “problem” isn’t one I’ve ever been personally exposed to, and I’d rather take the advice of someone who deals with it on a daily basis.

  464. so in video game related talk

    has anyone here heard of Naughty Dog’s The Last Of Us?

    it’s basically a combination of I Am Legend and The Road (row-ads, roods), which SOUNDS like it could be really cliche, but after reading this months Gameinformer cover story it looks to be a very fresh take on the whole “post apocalypse” genre in gaming

    for one thing you fight other survivors more than you fight the “infected” and for another all the abandoned cities and whatnot are all lush with green foliage and trees

    it’s gone right to the top of my “most anticipated games of 2012” right next to Bioshock Infinite

  465. also, I’m still playing Skyrim and holy shit this game is MASSIVE, I mean MASSIVE

    I’ve been playing for over a week now and there’s still good chunks of the map I haven’t explored at all yet, that’s insane if you think about it, after a little over a week of playing Fallout New Vegas I had explored pretty much the entire map save for a few nook and crannies

    and the quests? I’ve only completed just the first few quests of the main story because I just keep finding sidequest after sidequest

    and there’s seemingly dozens of caves, dungeons, ruins etc that I’ve found but not actually explored yet

    man, I’m easily going to be playing this sucker well into March, maybe even April

    I can safely say that this is hands down the longest game I’ve played since Persona 3 (which took me a little over two months to beat)

  466. If by, “10s of thousands” you mean, “Millions” then yes. You are correct.

    When AIDS first struck, the so-called Moral Majority employed undue influence on the Reagan administration to convince him to spend ZERO dollars on public health funding to alert people to the disease’s causes and risk factors. We knew within a year EXACTLY what caused AIDS, but the “Moral” “Majority” didn’t want the government to “condone homosexuality or intravenous drug use.” Reagan never so much as said the word (acronym) until 1986, when Bob Hope told the following joke:

    “So, the Statue of Liberty came out today and announced that she has AIDS. But she doesn’t know if she got it from the Staten Island Ferry or the mouth of the Hudson.”

    Cut to Reagan laughing.

    Funny story: Reagan was good friends with Rock Hudson, who died of AIDS. But maybe he just forgot.

    The Religious Right is still using the exact same tactic today. It’s the same tactic that is at the core of the so-called, “War on Drugs.” First, you allow/place a socially corrosive element within the society. (We definitely put drugs into the inner city, but I don’t believe anyone invented AIDS), then you scandalize the corrosive element and criminalize it. By doing this, you reframe the discussion so that it is no longer an issue of society owing something to other human beings and becomes an issue of the impoverished somehow ‘deserving’ their lot in life. Rudolf Giuliani called this, “Broken Window Laws.” I think a more fair name would be, “The criminalization of poverty” or, “Neo-Jim Crow Laws.”

    Once you successfully bamboozle the population at large into believing that Blacks…I mean poor people…I mean drug addicted criminals are perpetrators rather than victims, you can push society to the right, remove social safety nets and funnel that money into private corporate interests, which are often partially or wholly owned by TPTB in order to turn multi-millionaires into billionaires by means of privatized prisons with no-bid contracts and the Prison Industrial Complex as a whole.

    From here, it is very simple to perpetuate the fear mongering in order to allocate public funds for the creation of a militarized police force, and do it to massive applause.

    I can’t find the book, but I think it was in “Gang Leader for a Day” where they quote Nixon’s Chief of Staff’s tell-all memoir in which he wrote (and this is from memory, so I apologize if I am off by a word or two,) “The problem as [Nixon] saw it was the minorities. So the solution was to find legislation that targeted them without appearing to do so.”

    You scandalize gays/blacks/fringe groups and create the impression that they ‘deserve’ AIDS for being ‘irresponsible’ while simultaneously removing or disallowing basic medical information that could prevent the disease. Then, those who are left alive are far more likely to cling to the government/religious hierarchy because of the…well, let’s call a spade a spade, terrorist tactics.

    Not that I’m political or anything…

  467. Actually, Regan didn’t say anything about AIDS until a year later, after seven years of pandemic, 59,572 reported infections and 27,909 deaths.

    That’s like 9/11 happening TWENTY TIMES and the President never mentioning it.

  468. Griff- I’m not a survival horror fan, but THE LAST OF US does look intriguing. Though it’s annoyingly distracting how much the daughter seems like Ellen Page.

    And yep, Skyrim’s a timesink, alright. When I’m not playing it, I put off going back to it sometimes, because there’s no “quick game” of it.

  469. This is an excellent article on Reagan’s total moral turpitude in the face of AIDS. It fixes some of the quotes I was taking from memory and adds many horrific statistics:


  470. Stu – the character isn’t the guy’s daughter, but yeah she looks exactly like Juno era Ellen Page, call her on hamburger phone!

    Tawdry – so what you’re saying is, you’re not a big fan of the gub-ment?

    pretty interesting stuff though, it makes sense

  471. I’m not an anarchist or a communist by any means. Hell, as a heterosexual white male under the age of 50 with a high IQ and access to higher education, the system is pretty much designed to benefit me above the vast majority of others. In a pseudo-anarchy state I would be *fucked,* but in this state I have a great many avenues open to me…at least hypothetically.

    I fully understand the necessity and utility of government for improving my quality of life and I am incredibly grateful that I was born in America. I think this is a great country with a great potential. I’d even cede that on an aggregate level the world is a better place today because America is the superpower. If it weren’t us, it would be China, Saudi Arabia or Russia and one look at those nations human rights records paints a pretty clear picture. Our great shames, our Abu Ghraib’s. our rendition tactics are far kinder than any one of those nations treatment of its’ own citizens.

    That said, I’m not a fan of government that is tinged with religion because religion’s primary function is to overpower logical thought by preying upon deeply seeded emotional weaknesses.

  472. what I meant is the current government, not government in general

  473. Did you guys follow Tawdry’s link? Man, doesn’t that shit offend you? Moreso than bourgeois complaining about religion?

  474. Man,I had no idea that I had the ability to obsess over a nonexistent Renny Harlin/ John Stamos movie. I learned a lot about myself after last nights epic drinking…

  475. What I like about part 2 in the SNAKE EATER saga is how Soldier kills off the drugdealers in quite ingenious ways. A kind of deranged MacGyver,if you will…

  476. Rehydrated Dehydrated Pirate Paul

    February 11th, 2012 at 2:15 pm

    Tawdry – it offends me that this happened in the seventies. It offends me a helluva lot more that it’s still happening now.

    I don’t know if there’s such thing as a “good” religion, but there are ones that do less harm. The Catholic Church, and its appointment of the recent Pope, has proven itself to be as far from that definition as I think it’s possible to be. They could restart the Crusades and go off beheading Arabs and not look any worse than they do right now.

  477. CJ: I spent HOURS with that flash presentation, hopping from page to page on wikipedia. It’s like the Ultimate Perspective machine from Restaurant @ The End of the Universe but instead of making you insane it fills you with acute joy.

    I mean how can you comprehend the existence the Sloan Great Wall? Incredible.

    You might find this related, I dunno. Here, from wikipedia’s article “Machine Elf”, is Terence McKenna describing a hallucination that people in totally unrelated times and places have had while under the influence of DMT:

    “There’s a whole bunch of entities waiting on the other side, saying “How wonderful that you’re here! You come so rarely! We’re so delighted to see you!”

    They’re like jewelled self-dribbling basketballs and there are many of them and they come pounding toward you and they will stop in front of you and vibrate, but then they do a very disconcerting thing, which is they jump into your body and then they jump back out again and the whole thing is going on in a high-speed mode where you’re being presented with thousands of details per second and you can’t get a hold on [them …] and these things are saying “Don’t give in to astonishment”, which is exactly what you want to do. You want to go nuts with how crazy this is, and they say “Don’t do that. Pay attention to what we’re doing”.

    What they’re doing is making objects with their voices, singing structures into existence. They offer things to you, saying “Look at this! Look at this!” and as your attention goes towards these objects you realise that what you’re being shown is impossible. It’s not simply intricate, beautiful and hard to manufacture, it’s impossible to make these things. The nearest analogy would be the Fabergé eggs, but these things are like the toys that are scattered around the nursery inside a U.F.O., celestial toys, and the toys themselves appear to be somehow alive and can sing other objects into existence, so what’s happening is this proliferation of elf gifts, which are moving around singing, and they are saying “Do what we are doing” and they are very insistent, and they say “Do it! Do it! Do it!” and you feel like a bubble inside your body beginning to move up toward your mouth, and when it comes out it isn’t sound, it’s vision. You discover that you can pump “stuff” out of your mouth by singing, and they’re urging you to do this. They say “That’s it! That’s it! Keep doing it!”.

    We’re now at minute 4.5 [of the trip] and you speak in a kind of glossolalia. There is a spontaneous outpouring of syntax unaccompanied by what is normally called “meaning”. After a minute or so of this the whole thing begins to collapse in on itself and they begin to physically move away from you. Usually their final shot is that they wave goodbye and say “Deja vu! Deja vu!”.”

    I guess people in hella different cultures also saw the machine elves. I couldn’t make this shit up if I tried! I don’t see how something like this doesn’t make you elated.

    In the same way, it proves the existence of all Gods etc., that memetics are as real as genetics, why all cultures in the world simultaneously developed pretty much the exact same mythologies and spiritualities etc. Feel me?

  478. Whitney Houston is dead. I’m pretty saddened by this as she seemed like she was getting her shit together again but I guess not.

    I wasn’t a big fan or anything like that but she was a real talent and over the years it was clear that addiction was slowly and surely fucking it all up for her.

    It all became a lon-running sick joke in the end.

    Someone told me a buddy of theirs had to smuggled in to do her hair and she was out of it.

    It’s easy to put the blame on her ex-husband but fuck it, I’m going to, anyway.

    What a waste.

  479. CJ – whatever the hell that was it’s gone now because it was posted on 4chan

    is there any other way to see it?

  480. Can’t say that I was ever a fan (my parents loved her though). Can’t even say that I’m at all surprised. But it is pretty tragic to die at that age. R.I.P.

    Not gonna throw labels and say it’s a drug related death or anything but obviously her lifestyle played heavily in her dying at age 48 I think. Hopefully here equally abusive of drugs daughter will learn from this; but when Bobby Brown is your dad I guess it’s kinda hard to not be addicted to something that slowly kills you.

  481. Griff: It’s still there. I click on the link and it appears.

  482. is this what you’re talking about? http://www.freewebarcade5.net/media/the-scale-of-the-universe-2.swf

    damn son, the universe is really big, there could be ANYTHING out there

  483. Yeah, it’s the same thing.

  484. it’s damn cool

    I mean it’s pretty much impossible for there NOT to be life somewhere else out there, pretty amazing if you think about it

  485. shit guys, the more I think about it, the more amazing it gets

    I mean what the fuck could be out there? I got chills

  486. …and to think that as expansive as our universe is it’s just happens to be one in a probable multiverse; now THAT shit still blows my mind.

  487. exactly Broddie, when you factor in the whole “alternate universe” thing shit gets even more mind blowing

  488. Rehydrated Dehydrated Pirate Paul

    February 12th, 2012 at 7:51 am

    Griff – we prefer to be referred to as “who”, thank you very much. Some basic politeness wouldn’t go amiss, earthling.

  489. Rehydrated Dehydrated Pirate Paul

    February 12th, 2012 at 7:53 am

    Wait… crap.

    Please ignore that last post and regard me as a regular earth-born man with no ambitions whatsoever to set myself up as tyrant overlord of your pathetic little galaxy, you insignificant – erm, I mean, beloved – fellow human beings. Thanks.

  490. The “alternate universe” thing … at every second, every molecule that could do one thing or another thing, the universe splits in two directions, and an entire universe in which each possibility was fulfilled springs into existence. That means to get any idea of how many universes there are all told, you would have to scroll pretty fucking far to the right in that animation huh! (OR to the left….zing!)

    But it gets even better because of Schrodinger’s cat. YOU are this godlike entity who navigates the multiverse through the power of your perception! Until you look in the box, you could either be in a living-cat or a dead-cat universe, and it is the act of looking that thrusts you into one or the other. Even the Uncertainty Princple verifies that you can’t observe a subject without physically changing it, because you had to throw photons at it for it to be visible. Also, Einstein thought this was the stupidest thing in the world and basically proved that quantum mechanics were bullshit. Mind blowing stuff.

  491. Yes, renfield, I’m offended by how awful bigots were in the 80s and how that bigotry resulted in death and despair. I misunderstand your point, or were you just trying to take a swipe at my general distaste for the casual bigotry bourgeois internet nerds have against poor people who are religious and live in rural parts of the country?

    It is pretty incredible to think of how large the universe is. It’s weird, once you realize (in as much as anyone can realize) how vast the universe is it becomes immediately apparent that while there has to be something out there that it doesn’t matter since it becomes physically impossible to actually communicate or otherwise interface with any other life forms that may exist.

  492. Casey, it was a petulant sarcastic remark on my part, but yeah the basic point is that the bigotry perpetrated by atheists and agnostics doesn’t stack up to the opposing force. I do recognize that it can be bigotry though, and that shit is never cool.

    Also it was weird that you said you’re a militant agnostic, but that you can relate to feeling offended by somebody casually challenging one’s faith. Isn’t agnosticism sort of the antithesis of faith? I assume by agnostic you mean, questions such as “does God exist” by definition do not have a concrete answer and can never be proven. It seems like the concept of having faith would not be something sanctified in your worldview.

    This whole “it’s my FAITH, fuck off” thing is sort of this annoying trump card, like in South Park when they say “They took our jobs!” If you really believe in something, you should be not only prepared, but eager and delighted to defend it right?

    However I also saw that Bill Maher movie Religulous, and that’s some detestable, bigoted shit for sure. So I do see where you are generally coming from I suppose.

  493. I’m an agnostic because I’m unsure if objective universal truth exists, and even if it did I don’t believe we could actually understand it.

    If when you say “. . .but that you can relate to feeling offended by somebody casually challenging one’s faith.” you’re referring to that video of the man calling Scientology a cult to a believer’s face, than I think you misunderstand my problem. I don’t have a problem with people challenging each others’ beliefs but that person went further and just attacked their belief as being a cult. I was mostly upset that this reporter was a total coward about it, too, and kept hiding behind his merely repeating what others had said.

    I think Tawdry is right when he talks about how people who are against Scientology usually do so because of very bigoted reasons. Sure, it’s a weird faith but so are all faiths. I grew up in the Jewish tradition and there’s tons of weird shit that went on in that. I think Scientology and Mormonism get bagged on, in large part, because of their newness.

    I don’t know, at the end of the day I feel that faith is a subject that simply can’t be argued logically or constructively and that we would all be better off not letting it be a point of fracture amongst the working class so that we can better show solidarity in throwing off the chains thrust upon us by the grotesque bourgeoisie.

  494. Very persuasive and well put, Casey. It’s clear that there’s no reason for people’s faith to be so instrumentally divisive. It’s something that benefits the politicians, for example, who want to make people believe that other people are the scapegoats for their problems. In my not-by-any-means-expert opinion it is very easy to interpret the texts of the big 3 monotheisms and reach a conclusion where everybody can get along and live and let live, and I suspect that is largely to the advantage of the Assholes In Charge that the cultural zeitgeist surrounding this shit is what it is.

    I mean seriously, access to food, running water, employment and education. Aren’t these basic human needs, supported by every single religion/faith in the world, that everybody can agree on? (I know I know, we can’t, I’m living in a fucking pipe dream).

  495. Hey, Actionfest badges are on sale now!


    Anyone else going?

  496. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, oh God….

    Bay will be directing those fucking movies for the rest of his career, watch and see…

  497. Yeah, but it seems like a voluntary choice and not because nobody offers him anything else. And come on, if Hollywood would give you lots of money to shoot the craziest shit that you can come up with AND it even makes more money than all of your previous, already fucking successful movie and turns you into one of the most powerful directors in the world, you would shoot these movies too.

  498. The Poster for Seagal’s latest film MAXIMUM CONVICTION is up!


  499. Michael Bay must surely by now have an amount of money that makes more money pretty trivial? Or is he a hookers-and-blow, paycheck-to-paycheck kinda guy…

  500. I really do find the whole thing kinda depressing.

    With Bay signing on for more of this junk he really has taken the money and run.

    In cash terms it’s understandable (although I have to ask, as Renfield has: how much money is enough?), but in every other way it’s sad.

    By announcing this, it’s as if Bay has given up on being anything more than a cash generator, dealing in the lowest common denominator.

    He’s come to see himself as nothing more than a product. A product selling another product.

  501. and I’m just going to come out and say it, I’ve always thought Transformers was a dumb, ridiculous franchise from the very beginning, I mean it was just a gimmick to have “two toys in one”, Michael Bay didn’t “ruin” anything with the movies

    as a matter of fact, I think most of those 80’s cartoons (with rare exceptions) that so many people have nostalgia for are bad, totally overrated, actual animators (like John Kricfalusi) look back on the 80’s as a total dark age for animation in America…

    I mean I love 80’s culture as much as the next guy, but I think 80’s cartoons are the most overrated aspect of the 80’s

    I grew up in the 90’s and while I’m not saying bad cartoons didn’t exist in the 90’s, by and large there were a hell of a lot better cartoons in the 90’s than in the 80’s

    sincerely, Generation Y

  502. Right on, Griff.

    The 90s saw some incredible US toons on TV.

    Jeez, any one episode of Batman TAS has more love poured into it than an entire season of He-Man or Go-Bots or all that crap.

  503. Finally saw Midnight in Paris. I know alot of you guys liked it, but I had some huge, huge problems with it. It’s not without its charms, but at the end of the day it’s basically Night at the Museum for literary types, which sounds great on paper but just didn’t work for me. Shit, even the ending (SPOILER) w/ Wilson losing the fantasy time-travel girl but then striking up a romance with a random pretty young thing in present day was straight out of Night at the Museum 2. (Also with Wilson!)

    Granted I’m probably not the target audience. Sorry to sound like one of the unwashed masses, but I don’t know who Gertrude Stein or TS Eliot or Zelda Fitzgerald are. I’ve heard the names, sure, but I’m not really familiar with who they are, so the whole movie seemed like one long intellectual in-joke I was left out of. (I guess Salvador’s Dali’s big personal trait is yelling out “Dali!!!” over and over again like Adrien Brody thought he was still hosting that episode of SNL.) I felt like I was listening to a conversation at a party full of professors where I didn’t know what the hell they were talking about but I kept nodding my head anyway. (Considering this was a huge hit and made over $50 million, i’m guessing a ton of people were similarly nodding their heads in confusion)

    And even without knowledge of who is who, it doesn’t change the fact that the central conflict (Wilson’s impending engagement to Rachel Mcadams) is tired and rote, made moreso by the fact that her character (and her parents) are incredibly shrill and one-note. She’s so one dimensional that we know she treats Owen Wilson like shit from her very first line, and it really makes the rest of their scenes together a slog to get through. The Mean Girl she played in Mean Girls was better written, and I’m not kidding. I honestly don’t understand why she would even accept the role other than to work with Woody Allen.

    The big theme, that “everyone is unsatisfied with their own time period and is nostalgic for another time, so learn to appreciate the time you’re in”, is definitely interesting and something to think about. But Allen literally has characters spell it out over and over again, I’m surprised he didn’t have someone explicitly state “The grass is greener on the other side”. Plus I hate to say it but I don’t buy it. I do think movies are worse now than they were in the 80s. I think most of today’s music is fucking terrible. I’m worried about where our country is headed, religion and politics-wise (the Tea Party is actually mentioned in the movie, strangely). That should make the theme hit home with me, but the movie seems to be hinting that we should sit back and come to realize that our age is great and will be someone else’s golden age, which I really hope isn’t true and is also really fucking depressing.

  504. ” He was a cop and good at his job,but he committed the ultimate sin:testified against other cops gone bad. Cops that tried to kill him,but got the woman he loved instead.Framed for murder, now he prowls the badlands. An outlaw hunting outlaws. A bounty hunter…a renegade!”

    Damn, that is one cool intro to a tv-show!

  505. Yeah Griff; I have conscious memories as far back as 1987 so I remember I used to love MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE and TRANSFORMERS & G.I. JOE cartoons. When I saw them as an adult the WTFness of it all astounded me.

    The animation is so fucking static and boring to look at I’m surprised they weren’t Hanna Barbera cartoons. Truthfully I liked the Marvel comics of that time based on the Habro properties WAAAAAAAAAAY more than the cartoons. Those were good as fuck and still hold up whenever I re-read them and not just based off nostalgia but real quality.

    I mean in retrospect I love how Larry Hama really injected a lot of great factual military shit into a comic that was pitched to sell toys because it thought me some things as a kid. He created a fucking legitimate bad ass fictional universe that hopefully will be re-created on the big screen this summer.

    I still love TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES for it’s quirkiness though I think it holds up better than most because of it’s pure stupidity. At least the earlier episodes. The only truly quality western born cartoon back in the 80’s was THUNDERCATS.

    The 90’s did way better with the likes of ANIMANIACS and TINY TOONS taking the timeless spirit of the LOONEY TUNES cartoons and reinterpreting them for kids at that time. It was also the start of Dini and Timm and what gave them the juice to pitch the best media adaptation of Batman to date.

  506. The 90’s were a great decade for cartoons. Writers and animators were allowed to go both more insane and more sophisticated in terms of jokes and storytelling.

  507. We’ll see how awesome you think the nineties are in five years when the cinematic adaptations of REN & STIMPY and ANIMANIACS start coming out as 3D fartfests with CGI bastardizations of your favorite characters voiced by paycheck-cashing character actors who harass other live-action paycheck-cashing character actors with instantly dated pop culture references. At least us eighties kids can take comfort in the fact that our shit was always retarded.

  508. I can actually enjoy WALKER TEXAS RANGER on a level I never could when it aired. back then I just thought it was retarded, but now when I´ve grown older and wiser (ahem…) I acn appreciate stupid shit like that. That´s why I´m going back watching RENEGADE which I never saw at all. It looks both stupid AND awesome at the same time. My favourite combination.

    When it comes to cartoon, only the Batman I feel had really strong stories that one can appreciate on a more artistic level. Nostalgia blind my eyes for both THUNDERCATS and NINJA TURTLES,

    Oh…they weren´t called Ninjas in my part of the wordl. they were called Hero. TEENAGE MUTANT HERO TURTLES. Fuckin lame.

  509. Neal — all that may be true, but Hemingway alone makes it easy to forgive everything else.

  510. I have fond memories of the few episodes of RENEGADE and WALKER we got over here in the UK.

    Catching an episode was a late night treat and, along with the mighty NASH BRIDGES, these shows helped me get thru the dark, dark days of unemployment in the late 90s.

    I still think all 3 shows are hugely enjoyable – goofy, fun, and fucking BURSTING with guest stars.

    Isn’t all of RENEGADE available on a really cheap DVD set in the States now?

  511. Oh I loved NASH BRIDGES. I’m not a huge fan of crime shows, unless they have at least some very entertaining characters and NASH BRIDGES had them.

  512. karlos- I purchased a cheapass region 1 boxset of the first season of RENEGADE. It´s a Millcreek release, and it´s what you´d expect from them with cheap as shit packaging.

    Too bad a LOT of WALKER-episodes are godawful, but there really are some terrific actionpacked episodes. There is one where Walker is put through some kind of gauntlet (or whatever) arranged by Michael Parks. There is also some yakuza-themed ones that are good. Later episodes really go apeshit insane with the whole “native american spiritghosts”. One of them had Billy Drago (!) as a shaman fuckin with Walkers head. It was at times REALLY bizarre Good stuff.

  513. Man I loved all those cheesy 90’s shows with b-movie actors and suspect ass budgets. WALKER and RENEGADE are fucking legendary as far as I’m concerned. I think the only one I didn’t dig was KUNG-FU THE LEGEND CONTINUES. It just never felt like it lived up to it’s potential and I didn’t even care for the original series all that much anyway. I also think I’m the only person in the world who actually loved BAYWATCH NIGHTS though; it was gone far too soon.

    Taking Mitch into another fucking genre entirely and using that as an excuse to put some of the funniest shit of all time on TV to me was ingenius in it’s sheer stupidity. MARTIAL LAW was my shit too cause Sammo Hung past his prime is better than no Sammo Hung at all.

  514. Here’s my WALKER: TEXAS RANGER story:

    A few years ago, I’d gone out with this girl a few times when she invited me out to a ghetto-ass strip club in Bushwick, Brooklyn (the place the midget from the Geto Boys got his name from) for her birthday party. I am not a huge strip club guy, and in any case I had started seeing this other girl who I liked a lot more so I was a little awkward about the whole experience. It didn’t really feel like being her date, but I still wanted her to have a good birthday. So since I felt uncomfortable being her sexy boy-toy for the evening, I decided that my primary role would be placeholder. While she gallivanted around the club, talking to her friends, getting lapdances, and making it rain with the huge stack of ones she’d brought, I saved her seat at the bar, occasionally sliding a single across the bar when one of the strippers came close.

    I wasn’t really paying attention to them, though, because the TV above the bar was playing an episode of WALKER: TEXAS RANGER with the sound turned off. From what I could gather, Walker was in a coma, during which he went on a vision quest like Seagal in ON DEADLY GROUND, complete with lots of fog machines and a visit from his spirit bear. Naturally, I found this far more entertaining than third- or fourth-tier stripper tits, so I barely looked at the girls.

    From that point on, I was known as the dude who was so gangster that he’d rather watch WALKER: TEXAS RANGER than look at bare breasts. Needless to say it was not easy not to score that night.

  515. Yeah, MARTIAL LAW was pretty sweet. There was this other show called THE SENTINEL starring Richard Burgii as a cop with heightened senses that he developed in the peruvian jungle.Don´t know how much that one holds up, but I really liked it back then….do they even make action shows on tv anymore?

  516. Majestyk – It’s fucking funny to me how just being a guy (Ie: not giving a fuck) could get a guy so much pussy. I’ve never been thirsty in my life and I value art over everything else including women (yeah I would’ve been watching the TV too) and yet I always end up winning over the ladies as opposed the guy who tries too hard and acts like he’s never been around a woman before.

    ShootMcKay – Nah man I think everything is either a reality tv show or a CSI or LAW & ORDER when it comes to non-sitcom network TV fare now a days.

  517. That´s a good story,Majestyk. But have you heard the one about these two bank robbers that entered a strip bar with hostages and there were all these gorgeous women, one of them had a snake around her neck dancin to awesome Tito Larriva music? And then everybody turned into vampires and everyone died!…

  518. Not even basic cable has them. BURN NOTICE, JUTIFIED, BREAKING BAD were all entertaining but not really “action shows” well BURN NOTICE is probably the closest of those but it’s still not something that is awesome in the way that a show with Chad McQueen as an archeologist in a mutant riddled post apocalyptic planet is awesome. They don’t have the tongue in cheek but still prideful in presenting entertaining wtfness action genre trope. I swear yo if I was a billionaire I’d totally bring back FOREVER KNIGHT.

  519. Shoot didn’t they turn that into a movie starring that guy from BATMAN & ROBIN?

  520. …wait that wasn´t funny. Damn! I just can´t get a good story right!

  521. I liked 24 a lot! It certainly was dumb enough…

  522. Guys, have you seen the trailer to Kim Jee-Woon’s crazy-looking genre-mashup DOOMSDAY BOOK (not a sequel to DOOMSDAY as far as I know)? Holy shit.


  523. The first 3 seasons of 24 were fan fucking tastic. It was on the path to best show ever and then season 4 happened. I enjoyed it well enough but it was no longer “best show ever” status for me. It suffered from what I call the “Buffy” complex. Though I thank the latter seasons for giving me my “Where are they now?” ROBOCOP actors update.

  524. Mr. Subtlety – What the fuck did I just see? I don’t mean that in a bad way either I truly feel compelled to see that movie as soon as yesterday.

  525. That trailer makes it look like some sort of insane mashup of different genres, but I actually think DOOMSDAY BOOK is an anthology/omnibus type deal. 3 short films packaged together.

  526. I like anthology shit so that makes it all the better.

    So I was reading Cracked and I found a link to what is quite possibly the worst rap music video I’ve ever seen


    I would’ve credited him with inventing some weird off beat mutant type of spoken word if it wasn’t for that hook which proves he’s clearly trying to be melodic but way out of his element.

  527. Rehydrated Dehydrated Pirate Paul

    February 14th, 2012 at 5:04 pm

    I liked 24, Batman: Animated Series, Nash Bridges, Knight Rider, Baywatch, Baywatch Nights (yeah, I was quite the little Hasselhoff fanboy), Masters of the Universe, and Murder She Wrote.

    All of that (apart from 24) should tell you that I watched way too much daytime TV.

    I never liked TMNT or Transformers though. I don’t want to go back to “Masters”, I don’t think it would stand up very well today.

    I heard a Kanye song that I liked the other day. Dunno what to make of that.

    Broddie – that’s rap?

  528. Paul – I like to think that it could be what is perceived as rap in a parallel dimension and this is there way of projecting a message to us from there. Or it’s just some Tasmanian mobster’s son who had nothing else to do but shoot a lame ass video in his daddy’s strip club with the only stripper who hated herself enough to subject herself to such torture. Either way the existence of that video is a loss for mankind.

  529. *their

    forgot my grammar rulebook.

  530. Rehydrated Dehydrated Pirate Paul

    February 14th, 2012 at 6:07 pm

    Broddie – I dunno, I’ve always wanted to see what rap would be like, if performed by somebody with a really obvious speech impediment.

    Well, other than “50 Cent”. Or Eminem. Or that bloke from the Red Hot Chili Peppers…

  531. Mr. Majestyk – certainly I’m not the only one that finds it weird that your female friend wanted to go to a stripclub with other FEMALE strippers? I mean why? was she trying to tell you something?

    and good God was the 90’s an awesome decade for animation, first off you had the Nicktoons, like Ren & Stimpy, The Rugrats and Rocko’s Modern Life

    you had other shows like Tiny Toons and Animaniacs

    then you had the more “grow up” cartoons like The Simpsons and Beavis and Butthead

    then later on in the decade you had the great Cartoon Network shows like Dexter’s Laboratory, Courage the Cowardly Dog and the Powerpuff Girls

    and while all this was going on you had a renaissance in anime’s popularity in America, thanks in no small part to Toonami on Cartoon Network

  532. I don’t know, Griff, nowadays I find it a little weird when I meet a girl who DOESN’T want to look at naked ladies. I’ve had girlfriends who’ve nailed more chicks than I have. It’s a brave new world out there, one where everyone agrees that titties are awesome.

  533. NIKITA’s a good action show that’s currently on tv. Also in recent years, but cancelled a while ago was HUMAN TARGET. SPARTACUS is also basically 300: The Series in terms of its action. Also, what about all the tv-show spinoffs of movies there were in the 90s? Some good (HIGHLANDER), some bad(ROBOCOP). There was even a TIMECOP series, but I didn’t watch a whole lot of it.

  534. “I don’t know, Griff, nowadays I find it a little weird when I meet a girl who DOESN’T want to look at naked ladies. I’ve had girlfriends who’ve nailed more chicks than I have. It’s a brave new world out there, one where everyone agrees that titties are awesome.”


  535. Stu- Ahh the HIGHLANDER tv series. I remember that. It´s not THAT bad. Certainly better than it´s movie sequels, but it still shits all over the original. With all the sequels and shit they really invalidated the first one with all kinds of bizarre explanations that I don´t feel like goin into now….I just woke up for Christ sake.

  536. “Broddie – I dunno, I’ve always wanted to see what rap would be like, if performed by somebody with a really obvious speech impediment.”

    I recommend a very obscure rap ensemble known as the Wu Tang Clan. Not that they have one, but their “frontman” if you will is The RZA. He doesn’t rap very much on the major albums (except his solo albums, of course) but he certainly has an obvious speech impediment: he is unable to pronounce the letter “r”. In a streak of Charlie Kaufman-esqueness, he even refers to said impediment in his lyrics on occasion.

    That said I value him most for his approach to the instrumentation/beats that underly much of the Wu Tang catalogue. The harshes excoriation I’ve heard is that “The RZA bit tick tick”, implying that you could listen to a clock ticking and get just as creative of a beat as from The RZA. This is fundamentally true, but misses the point; BECAUSE rza bit tick tick, he is a visionary. There is probably no way you could set out to create an album that has the atmosphere of Enter The 36 Chambers. A good example is big’s solo debut, brilliant because of notorious’ delivery but sullied due to Pdid not being RZA.

  537. Can anyone here recommend a database other than IMDB that doesn´t suck? I find myself unimpressed on the level of lack of( and inaccurate) information that shitfest of a database has.

  538. You think there’s gonna be another movie database with more information?

  539. Yeah dude, I mean IMDB is one of the hardcore miracles of the internet. Show some respect okay?

    I mean what, allmovies.com? gtfo.

  540. IMDB lists every movie ever made, even movies that literally no one has seen or will ever see

    it doesn’t get any bigger than that

  541. That’s what she said.

  542. Look, all I said in my own angry way is asking for alternative sources to IMDB. Cause it´s not a perfect source of information,let´s get that straight.Last night I was going to look up a guy from an episode of RENEAGADE and he wasn´t even there on the cast credits. What I´m sayin is I don´t believe in looking for information in one place, but being able to check if that information is elsewhere.You know to confirm shit. So, no IMDB doesn´t cut it. It´s impossible for them to have EVERY piece of information on their site, but could exist elsewhere, at some hardcore fans site or whatever. It´s like checking info on WikiPedia and just from that single source of information draw conclusions?! That´s just wrong..

  543. I’ve heard that from a few people, Shoot. It seems that all the little bits that are missing on imdb always seem to be related to stuff guys like us dig.

    And as for Asian films; forget it.

    What really makes imdb amazing is that, according to one UK newspaper recently, it’s entirely maintained by one man.

    Holy shit, that guy must be like the Rainman of film trivia. I’m sure he gets a shit ton of emails helping him out but still…wow.

    On a sad imdb note, it told me the other day that Alfred from LETHAL WEAPON never worked again.

    Poor little fella – No ice cream and no career.

    BTW, I’ve just been reading thru a WALKER episode guide and holy shit, everyone was in it. Seriously, check this out (scroll down to “notable guest stars”):


    Not only that, but Walker gets up to some seriously odd stuff: in one episode he fights a shaman-esque zombie/spirit/WTF, and in another he TIME TRAVELS.

    I’ll let that one sink in.

  544. Karlos – Yeah, WALKER TEXAS RANGER! Some episodes are so fuckin bizarre. In one episode Walker gets his ass saved by a ghost of a former Ranger.

    And as far as IMDB goes, I mean it´s great when you are watching a movie and some guy you seem to recognize but you don´t know where. And then you look it up and goes aha!
    ´Cause shit like “Where do I know that guy from?” can really irritate me.
    Unfortunatly, those cracks in the IMDB showed up last night when I was watching RENEGADE. But it worked out. Not as convenient as I first thought, but it worked out fine in the end.

    But if that´s true what you mentioned, that the database is run by ONE guy…I´ll get off his back…

  545. That´s pretty awesome. i never knew that.. but you´d have to ask yourself. Are the facts on the site trustworthy enough, since it is run by one guy? Which brings me back to my original question. Does anyone here know of any other movie databases that you could recommend?

  546. …run by only ONE guy I meant. One man can only do so much…

  547. Shoot – for Asian films, there’s the HK movie database, which is staggeringly comprehensive:


    In terms of Western TV/film, I’ve never really come across anything that is close to imdb, I must admit.

  548. I never watched WALKER TEXAS RANGER, but I remember this (I wish I could find it in a better quality):


  549. Man, I’m sick of talking about how good JUSTIFIED is every week, and this one was no exception. Lots of good stuff, from Dewey’s desperation(loved the first place he goes to rob after the kitchen appliance place), the badass store owner who still says “God bless you, son”, the nurse, and the “You mean I had four kidneys?” line. Also, the McDonough/Boyd meeting was unexpectedly tenser than it was supposed to be when you realise that their frisking didn’t take into account the spring loaded pistols.

  550. Here in Sweden we treat good american shows like porn and air them late at night, which makes it impossible to follow them. So I have yet to watch JUSTIFIED. I really loathe the stupidity of my fellow countrymen and almost everything about my culturally retarded country. I wish America would annex us as another state sothat we too become americans and can watch good shit on T.V

  551. Shoot, if it helps, good American shows have a hard time over here too. That shitty sitcom stuff like BIG BANG THEORY or HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER runs all day, but good shows run here way too often on shitty timeslots or not at all. JUSTIFIED hasn’t even been on Pay TV yet. BREAKING BAD runs either one one of the more obscure Pay TV channels or deep, deep at night on ARTE, a technically good channel, that almost nobody watches, because it’s about art, culture and shit. (But they are awesome! They showed classic TV shows like GET SMART or THE PRISONER, and even movies like STREET TRASH or Russ Meyer classics.) DAMAGES had in its premiere season one of the lowest ratings in history and no channel, apart from a brave Pay TV one, dares to even think of touching THE WEST WING. ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT was cancelled early in Season 2 and then years later shown workdays at 1am. (At least they completed it in this timeslot.)

    At least many of these shows sell very well on DVD. BREAKING BAD is a huge success and even though 24 bombed over here on every of the million timeslots it had, the DVD boxes were always best sellers.

  552. Over the last year I read several articles in at least three different serious news magazines and websites, where they talked about how American TV is recently kicking everybody’s ass (including theatrical movies’) and how frustrated they were, how these shows are treated over here. It’s a sad and weird phenomenon.

  553. Damn you Republicans for hijacking Rambo. Again.


  554. Shoot, maybe you should move to Norway? We run our country like you used to do before Reinfeldt, and all the good shows are on at decent times.

    CJ, I used to watch Alarm für Cobra 11 for years, even if my German is very poor. Is that show still running? Semir must have had at least 20 sidekicks by now?

  555. As far as I know, Cobra 11 is still on and winning international awards for its stunt work.

  556. oh man, that imdb story is MINDBLOWING

    one guy runs it? ONE GUY!? (come on, I’m sure he has to at least have some help) that’s crazy and it’s the same guy that founded it after all these years

    that really was fascinating, it made me realize how previously mysterious imdb was, I had no idea who founded it or ran it, I just kinda assumed it sprang from the internet ether as a necessity

  557. pegsman – yeah, Norway has far surpassed us in every fuckin way. So it comes as no surprise to hear that. I mean. Jesus! Nobody likes entertainment in Sweden! It´s treated as dirt. Ingmar Bergman ruined swedish cinema, ecerybody makes depressing fuckin movies that makes people commit suicide.
    Yes, that´s right! We make suicide-movies! No wonder 90 % of the population are on medication.

  558. Am I missing something with that IMDB story? It says one guy founded it, sure, but then that 20 people volunteered to help run it, and it was bought out with him being given a job to oversee it, not specifically “run” it on his own. Also, it’s like wikipedia, isn’t it? Users can edit it.

  559. The spambots are really bad today.

  560. The fuckin idiot who invented spam; I´ll hunt him down and beat him to death in his own kitchen with a VHS-copy of GARBAGE PAIL KIDS!

  561. Stu, never ruin a good story with facts!

  562. In other news, renfield has joined Vern in the art of sobriety. 24 hours sober and in a 12 step program. Let’s hear a round of applause for me motherfuckers!

    Time to go watch xXx I suppose…

  563. Let me congratulate you, Renfield. I can’t imagine how difficult this might be for you, but I hope you will keep it up.

  564. Yeah,renfield. Hope it works out for you, personally I feel I myself need to calm the fuck down with my drinking. I don´t think I´m there quite yet. But I need to cut down on my drunken ramblings on this site ( I think Mr Majestyk agrees..).

  565. ..anyway; Good luck to you!

  566. Okay, I doubt that I will get anybody excited about this, since I seem to be the only one here who embraces social media to full effect, but I had the idea of hosting a Google Hangout* during the Oscar show, so that we can bitch all together in real time during it.

    All you need is a Google+ account**, a microphone and a webcam, although I think it works without too (we just can’t see you then) and you can also get some freeware like Manycam, to stream a picture or video of something different, instead of a live feed of your face.

    So…who’s interested? The Oscars are on the 26th.

    *A webcam chat on Google+

    **Oh come on, you have to sign up for Skype (which failed me one too many times) too and nobody demands from you to really use that account afterwards or even put anything private about you online.

  567. Damn, CJ! Seems like a sweet idea. I own a mic and I have skype, but that other shit seems complicated. But what the hell…. Too bad I don´t seem to have seen to many of the movies that are nominated. But bitchin is what I am about! We´ll have to see, though. May need to get up early..

  568. Shoot- I enjoyed that a lot. Can’t wait to see how they’ll splice in the Travolta and Orson Welles movies in future episodes. Also, Brad Jones cracked me up with his choice of film review this week for Cinema Snob: “Sure, it’s a day late, but Happy Valentine’s Day. It’s Rape Squad.”

  569. Stu – Thank God i can find someone to enjoy this amazing shit! If you have seen Brad´s acting in Kickassia or in Suburban Knights, you´ll know tha guy has some acting chops. However,this show takes something different than acting chops. It takes a labor of love for something as cheesy as Godfrey Ho “Cut and paste”-movie-homage. I really enjoy in how they streamline a Godrey Ho -typical action splicemovie and give it a twist. Really fun and inventive

  570. I just hope people can spread the word about Ninja: the Mission Force,since it´s a labor of love.Made by people that actually give a shit about movies.Just to make sure; here is the website again,motherfuckers:


  571. Shoot- Have you seen Brad in “The Hooker With The Heart Of Gold”? He was really good in that in dual roles.

  572. Stu – Hmm… I know the title but I don´t think I´ve seen it. But I guess we can both agree as far as internet-reviewers go, Brad blows them out of water. We will see what James Rolfe will make out of his Nerd movie. He gives me the sense that he can act too if he put some effort into it.

  573. ShootMcKay: The AllMovieGuide web site is okay, though not nearly as comprehensive as the AllMusicGuide site.

  574. Jarteh – I´m just glad people don´t think I´m shit because I dare to criticise the “wonder of IMDB”. I´m glad somoone gives me pointers to different databases. just as Karlos did. I do not care for getting shit for making IMDB look bad.In fact I just get mad. A fuckin pointer to people out there: Do not trust what everyone says!

  575. Oops! Contradictory warning! Still…do not trust what everyone says!

  576. http://thecinemasnob.com/categories/263/the-hooker-with-a-heart-of-gold.aspx
    There’s a nice crossover with the Cinema Snob too when in one of his reviews he hears a racket and when he looks out his window, it reveals the climax of the series has happening just outside his house.

  577. Nice one,Stu. I´ll watch it when I´m done chillin to Guns N Roses…

  578. Nic Cage talking about GHOST RIDER: SPIRIT OF VENGEANCE and his acting style:

  579. http://www.aintitcool.com/node/53605

    So, Shia out and The Stath in?

    Trans4mersporter, anyone?

    Shoot – The little bit of Ninja MF I just saw was fan-fuckin-tastic. Cheers, bro.

  580. Spread the word of Ninja:The Mission Force: (iti awesome of another place)


  581. I love Brad Jones, that guy rocks

    anyway I was thinking about something that we briefly touched on in the Valentine review and that is the phenomena that bad movies become a lot more tolerable when they’re old and thus nostalgic

    I was thinking why that is and I think one reason why is almost every movie that comes out is following some sort of trend and if those trends are bad they can be irritating as hell when you’re actually living through them, but when those trends pass you can kind of look back on them and say “oh yeah, I remember that trend, interesting how it’s now over” and it takes you back and (for me at least) pretty much anything that makes me think of a bygone era makes me nostalgic

    in the case of Valentine we were thinking of post-Scream slashers, but it got me thinking of the 2000’s trend of remakes of Japanese horror movies

    that trend is now totally over in case anyone hasn’t noticed (the last batch of them to be released were all in 2008) and out of all of them the only one that was decent was the original The Ring, I saw a few of them (like The Ring 2, The Grudge and Dark Water) and they were all bad, but could I one day watch them again with “nostalgia goggles” and enjoy them more than I originally did?

    it’s funny how they never got around to remaking Audition (thankfully)

  582. also, let’s try to note movie trends that were popular in the 2000’s that are now pretty much over with

    video game movies seem to pretty much be a fad that’s now passed with the exception of the Resident Evil movies, I can’t think of any other video game movies other than the fourth Resident Evil to come out in the last couple of years (I guess there’s also Max Payne in 2008, but that was almost 4 years ago)

    plus there are dozens and dozens of ones that never got made and probably never will, like Gears of War and Halo

  583. Oh my god, that Ninja video was way funnier than expected. Reminds me a lot of ye olde Woody Allen classic WHAT’S UP, TIGER LILY, but that’s okay. It’s not a concept that is overdone and as long as they keep it that hilarious, I’m in.

    Also: Anybody else interested in the Oscar live webcam chat bitch session?

  584. Bullet Time used to be pretty omnipresent after THE MATRIX, but now the only instances of it I can think of nowadays are in the Resident Evil movies, and Zack Snyder’s style has some elements of it.

  585. CJ: I might join for the first hour, since I have work the following day. I’ve got a webcam, but no mic, so I’d probably just be text only.

  586. Griff – Speaking of video game movies, I finally saw DOA: Dead or Alive. And I’m ashamed to say I kinda liked it! The fights were decent, the jokes were amusing, the titillation was titillating, and Eric Roberts (who I didn’t even know was in it!) gave it his all. Even when he’s paying the bills, he doesn’t phone it in. Hell, even the script by JF Lawton (Under Siege/Pretty Woman) is actually kind of clever.

    Oh and even though 95% of the movie is cheesy, the fight on the beach in the rain is legitimately great art. It seems like it’s from a different, more serious movie.

  587. DOA has sunglasses that teach anyone who wears them kung fu. It is a work of goddam art is what it is.

  588. I heard the TEKKEN movie has good fight scenes, but a crap storyline. I saw a review of it and it does seem typically overconvoluted with the Tournament not being enough, having to throw in a dystopic dictatorship and the main hero actually cheats on his girlfriend, but the movie completely fails to make it come up again later or even acknowledge it as a bad thing. Nice ass cleavage from the girl playing Christie though.

  589. I don’t know if anyone here cares at all about this, but I just want to mention the news that the anime Eureka 7 is getting a surprise sequel

    I watched it when it played on Adult Swim in 2006-2007 and I liked it a lot, I never would have expected it getting a sequel, this is quite the surprise

  590. Hey kids, if you’re interested I finally got my 2011 year-in-review up. I’m a sucker for those things, so I thought I’d share a link (just click on my name, it’s the first one up right now).

    You should also probably check out my pal Dan Prestwich’s year-in-review, if you haven’t already.

  591. I saw a preview for the new Ghost Rider. Now, the original Ghost Rider was, if I recall, a universally detested piece of shit. I myself watched a bit of it and turned it off in disgust.

    However, isn’t that fucking Idris STRINGER BEL Edra in the trailer??? A ray of hope?!

    By the way thanks for the supportive words earlier guys. Every little bit helps.

  592. Rehydrated Dehydrated Pirate Paul

    February 16th, 2012 at 5:08 pm

    Griff – if they never made another “re-imagining” of a classic Asian horror movie, “Resident Evil” clone, or American horror remake starring soap-opera actors, it will be too soon for me. To this day I regret having seen “Pulse” before “Kairo”, but then I had no idea the first movie was a remake when I saw it. (Otherwise I would’ve avoided it like the plague.) It actually isn’t quite as bad as it maybe could’ve been, but it’s one of those remakes that completely misses the entire point of what made the original good, and then adds nothing of its own to fill in the gaps.

    Of course, what we’re getting now is endless comic-book inspired movies, remakes or sequels of “classic” films that were only classic in the nostalgic eyes of geeks (“Tron 2”, anyone?) and films based on, of all things, board games. (Seriously, what the fuck is up with that?)

  593. The Ring kicks the shit out of Ringu, though.

  594. Rehydrated Dehydrated Pirate Paul

    February 16th, 2012 at 5:57 pm

    I liked Ringu. Didn’t love it. Liked it enough that I didn’t want to see the American remake. I’ve considered it because a lot of people have given it decent reviews, but I don’t think I’m going to put myself through Naomi Watts (sorry NW fans, but I’ve found her horribly overrated in just about everything I’ve seen her in, up to and including “Mulholland Drive”) trying to do justice to this story.

  595. To this day, no film has ever frightened me as much as The Ring. It communicates the notion that once you have been Touched, every aspect of your life is tainted. She walks by a ladder leaning against a building, and obviously it was Put There by this malevolent presence. It has bled into every facet of her physical world. This to me is much more frightening than some sort of “realistic” killer who need only be avoided through simple logistics (don’t be in the same place as them). I think people who don’t get scared by ghost stories must have a diminished capacity for metaphor or something.

    You know it was my first experience with Ms. Watts, and I thought she was utterly generic and forgettable in this film.

    Then I saw King Kong … through Peter Jackson’s eyes she is the most magical woman ever to grace the silver screen.

  596. yup, I remember The Ring being pretty darn creepy, though I have not seen it since 2003

    the sequel though was terrible, remember when Naomi Watts and that little boy are attacked by ridiculously fake looking GGI deer? I was laughing my ass off (thankfully I was at home) and that’s pretty much all I remember about it

    the J horror remake craze fizzled out pretty darn quick, I thought The Grudge remake sucked (it irritated me that it was set in Japan, but the entire main cast was white) and Dark Water I remember nothing about, other than it was really boring, I’ve seen scarier episodes of The Rugrats (seriously)

    did you guys know that they originally planned on making a third The Ring? which would have supposedly been a prequel? but that never happened….

  597. also, would you guys say the American horror movie remake craze has ended? I was thinking about this and the last major slasher movie one was the Nightmare on Elmstreet remake, which was almost two years ago and then there was the The Thing “prequel” (which flopped didn’t it?) and I can’t think of any others, that’s quite a change from the period of several years where they were literally a dime a dozen

    the only upcoming one I can think of is the Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3D, which I guess would it bring it full circle

    but seriously though, it had to run out of steam eventually, they remade almost every damn significant horror movie from the 80’s, remember the thankfully canceled Platinum Dunes remake of Hitchcock’s The Birds?

  598. Renfield – I just got back from seeing an early sneak preview of Ghost Rider 2, and I’m shocked how much I liked it. I know a ton of people hated it from the Buttnumbathon and I know everyone including me hates the first one, but this one is pretty darn fun. It’s short and breezy and charmingly small-scale, the story (by David Goyer!) is simple and easy to follow (I’m honestly EXPECTING most movies to have ridiculously convoluted plots like The Transformers movies these days) the action scenes are fairly coherent, the 3D is surprisingly crisp. It even has a lot of heart, something I never thought I’d say about a Neveldine/Taylor joint. I’ll say more if/when Vern reviews it.

    But most importantly, Nic Cage gets to do some great Mega-Acting – including one CGI-assisted scene where he’s trying to suppress the Rider, that seriously ranks up there with Bad Lieutenant and possibly Vampire’s Kiss. It’s highlight-reel worthy.

  599. That is good to hear, neal. I’m counting on some epic meganess to close out this week on a high note. You can never tell when Cage is gonna decide to downshit into his mopey sadsack gear, so I’m glad he’s back to letting the shamans speak through him again.

    I actually didn’t hate the first GHOST RIDER. I like the first half of the movie, when it’s just Cage doing his twitchy inexplicable thing. I mean, wouldn’t you want to see a whole movie with Cage as a jelly bean-eating daredevil looking for love? But then the title character showed up and was obviously NOT Cage, just some graceless stuntman with a green sock over his head, mechanically hitting his marks so he didn’t fuck up the TEKKEN 2 cut-scene CGI.

    It was all downhill from there, although I can’t say I actively dislike it. It’s tolerable, as far as total pieces of shit go.

  600. “mechanically hitting his marks so he didn’t fuck up the TEKKEN 2 cut-scene CGI.

    lol, that’s a funny and perfect way to describe the CGI in that movie

  601. I don´t feel too well…

  602. So I’m listening to Pandora and this song comes up with this kick ass guitar playing in the intro. I’m like “hmmmm wonder wtf that is” and it turns out to be a song called ROUTE 23 by a Mr. Steven Seagal. I was blown away; seriously he wailed like a champ on that guitar and his voice ain’t half bad kinda Jeff Buckley-esque matter of fact. I think I slept on SONGS FROM THE CRYSTAL CAVE for too long. I need to look that shit up cause that one song alone was better than any music that I’ve heard from Bruce that’s for sure.

  603. No DEMOLITION MAN review? Huh.

  604. This to me is much more frightening than some sort of “realistic” killer who need only be avoided through simple logistics (don’t be in the same place as them).”
    Um, couldn’t you avoid being killed by the Ring Curse by just not being in a room with a tv in it?

  605. I’m pretty excited to see Crank 3: Ghost Riderer. I actually liked the first Ghost Rider OK because it had a few decent scenes. It’s not a good film but it is a little nuts and has some decent scenes and doesn’t seem bad enough to warrant any sort of hate, at least.

    Ring > Ringu
    The only thing Ringu has over the Ring is lots of time spent with people trying to bail out a well or something. Actually, that was really boring in Ringu. Man, Ringu just bored me but the ring scared me.

    Dark Water was OK. After that, though, there was no real reason to do anymore J Horror remakes as the entire J Horror genre equals pale girls with long wet hair looking scary or something.

  606. Paul: If you liked KARIO (PULSE), you might want to check out another Kiyoshi Kurosawa film, CURE (assuing you haven’t seen it yet). It’s equally brilliant.

    Also, Naomi Watts being “over-rated” or unconvincing or melodramatic in MULHOLLAND DRIVE was deliberate; the performances in that film are intended to be as disorienting as a funhouse mirror. A better place to evaluate Watts’ talent is probably 21 GRAMS; if you don’t like her in that, then you’re on more solid ground with your remarks.

    Griff: The Japanese film RINGU 0 is a prequel. I think it is the best of the Japanese/Korean sequels to RINGU, though I haven’t seen it in ten years.

    Casey: I think the flashback scenes of the paranormal testing in RINGU were creepier than anything in the American remake; I also like the Asian Sadako way more than the American Wednesday Addams or whatever her name was. Not to mention the actual content of the haunted video: I found the RINGU film far less obviously symbolic and thus more primal and disconcerting than the more heavy-handed American video. And the faces of the dead people in RINGU scared me more thant the American corpses.

    But I like the remake as well, especially suicidal Cox and the scared horses.

  607. Also, a phrase like “the entire J Horror genre equals pale girls with long wet hair looking scary or something” probably sums up quite nicely how these films are viewed by the executives responsible for the remakes, and possibly even much of the audience. It probably also explains the resounding failure of so many of the remakes: the people responsible simply don’t understand the rich folklore that the original films are exploiting.

    It would be like if a Japanese production company wanted to remake DELIVERANCE using only the sets from HEE HAW and actors from a soap opera.

  608. Well, in all fairness, after you WATCHED the video in the first place, you don’t need to be near a television for her to get you, it’s inevitable after a week elapses. Plus, this is America, try not being near a TV motherfu…moviegoer!

    The whole coming-through-the-TV thing is a bit of a J-horror trope (besides girls with long, wet hair). Consider the scene in the American remake of The Grudge where the demon becomes aware of the cop as the cop is watching security camera footage of the demon from some time before. This notion of the ghost’s awareness penetrating the barriers of an electronic information medium, and even chronology itself, is fucking terrifying to me. (Note that the original Ju-On was definitely better than the remake, I’m not a COMPLETE asshole over here).

    Also, Asian women do frequently possess straight, black hair as a matter of genetics. So maybe it’s a little bit of a misnomer to link all these films together using this trait. For example, S. Korea’s “A Tale of Two Sisters” or that Thai film about the ghost that is showing up in photographic images and (SPOILER) chilling on dude’s shoulders; both are not J-horror, but yeah, I’m sure for American film executives remaking them was a matter of putting some hair over the face.

  609. renfield: The Thai movie in question is called SHUTTER.

    Probably the phrase “J-Horror” isn’t the most accurate phrase. Most of these films are refurbished ghost stories with a few horror tropes thrown in to keep the kids awake.

  610. I have a confession to make; Ever since RINGUs started this whole J-horror craze, I´ve yet to see one. I only watched the american remake and didn´t really bother to see the original. i just thought it was slow. I´m an action-guy, more than a horror-fan, so that´s my reason for not “getting it”

  611. I meant to say I have yet to see the original RINGU in its entirety

  612. Other concerns about the Ringu curse: What happens if you don’t answer the phone when it rings? If you don’t receive the message that you have “Seven Days”, then it technically not following its own rules. What if you don’t HAVE a phone?
    Also, everyone who dies due to the curse conveniently does so when they’re alone. What if they just stick together in a big group? You’ll notice that supernatural curses/ghosts in movies always seem to want to cover up the fact that they’re responsible for killing people. Why? Would witnesses make them in danger of going to ghost jail? I saw a review of one of the Boogeyman films that points out the gaping plot hole that the Boogeyman supposedly gained power from people believing in him, but made a point of always killing people when there was no one around to see, even though THAT would have made more people believe in him and given him more power!

  613. Ghost jail! Lollers. I suppose it’s not as tidy as a Nightmare on Elm Street movie, I mean eventually you HAVE to go to sleep, but you could potentially never answer the phone.

    You know what? I think the boyfriend in The Ring DID skip the phone call, and then Naomi deleted the message. Didn’t help HIS ass any.

  614. Urgent message to neal2zod or anyone else who saw GHOST RIDER 2: Is it worth seeing in 3D?

  615. According to the IGN video review, the 3D is “just there”, and not as used as you’d expect from the directors.

  616. Okay, 2D it is.

    I’m glad, actually. I’ll be a single man set loose on New York City with an extra three bucks in his pocket. Ladies, please be careful out there.

  617. I’ve seen a lot of the original J Horror movies (subtitlted even!) and if there’s a rich folklore these movies are exploiting I couldn’t tell or care from watching the actual movie.

    And, sure, Asian women have long dark hair but all of the Asian horror films I’ve seen (or at least a large majority) feature “sickly / ghostly / spooky Asian woman with wet hair hanging over her face and body” as a scary thing. It’s not very effective anymore.

  618. “And the faces of the dead people in RINGU scared me more thant the American corpses.”

    oh I forgot about that, THAT shit was unintentionally hilarious (the green stretched out faces I mean)

  619. Rehydrated Dehydrated Pirate Paul

    February 17th, 2012 at 2:34 pm

    Jareth – thanks, I’ll check “Cure” out. Yeah, “Kairo” is the absolute best J-horror I’ve seen, and I’ve seen loads. I thought that was a fantastic film. Don’t think I’ve ever seen a film that better portrays the fear of being alone in the dark with something that wants to do you harm.

    As for Naomi Watts… I’ve seen at least three films of hers that I can think of and I can honestly say she made absolutely zero impression on me. Ask me what she looked like and I’d be hard-pressed to tell you (and not because she’s so good a character actress that her very demeanour changes).

    I will add a word for “The Thing” prequel, because I’m glad it didn’t do well (don’t want to encourage more of these, thanks, given how most of them turn out) but paradoxically I thought it wasn’t anything close to being as bad as some of the reviews were saying. Yeah, it didn’t “get” some of the things that made the original a classic, but it had its own ideas as well, and at least some of them worked well. I liked the ending, and the fact that you don’t find out what happens to one of the characters. It is absolutely nowhere close to Carpenter’s original, but it isn’t a total shit-sandwich either. It’s a decent horror movie that would probably get better reviews if it wasn’t for what it was trying to follow.

  620. Majestyk – i’d actually argue no 3D movie i’ve seen with the exception of Avatar has really been worth the extra bucks. Even Piranha 3D, which was good in theory, looked like ass.

    I have to admit there were several times during Ghost Rider II that i wish i didn’t have the damn glasses on too. But the 3D is basically unobtrusive, which is as good as you can hope to get these days. There’s a Gremlins 2-style meta gag at the beginning that actually looked good in 3D, plus 3D lens flares (I’m not kidding) for the fans of those.

  621. Broddie — Songs From The Crystal Cave is by equal measures enjoyably ridiculous and genuinely good. I frequently put it on in the background when I have friends over, so that I can spring the trap on them when they exclaim that they liked one or another song. Some of it is pretty ridiculous (even if you don’t know its Seagal singing) but a lot comes off quite nicely, and whatever else it is it’s a pretty unique album in the way it genre-hops among different styles but ties together as a whole. Mojo Priest isn’t quite the cheeseball world-pop gem that Crystal Cave is (its mostly straight blues), and is somewhat more respectable but also a little less memorable.

    Either way, though, they’re both serious albums by someone who obviously has some chops — even his soft singing voice works pretty well. They’re among the least embarrassing actor musical vanity projects out there; in fact, they probably don’t even fit in the top half of Seagal’s greatest professional embarrassments. I like them both equally ironically and genuinely, which is rare enough that you gotta appreciate it.

  622. “They’re among the least embarrassing actor musical vanity projects out there”

    Woah, woah, you’re not knocking 30 ODD FOOT OF GRUNTS are you?!?!

    No, wait… you are…. and rightfully so….

  623. Yeah, but I’m not paying extra money for “unobtrusive.”

    And you obviously missed JACK 3D. Until you’ve seen a dildo shot out of a cannon in super slo-mo 3D you really haven’t seen what the medium is capable of.

  624. I clearly meant JACKASS 3D. I haven’t seen Francis Ford Coppola’s 3D director’s cut redux of his “Robin Williams is a hideous manchild” opus JACK so I can’t say how well the conversion works.

  625. “Jack 3D: now with more dildos flying at your face”

  626. First Trailer for Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter:

  627. Subtlety – what I love about your description of Seagal’s music is that it could equally describe On Deadly Ground or some of his other most enjoyable movies. It’s that balance of ridiculous and genuinely good, ironic and sincere.

    I forget who it was, somebody told me about a cab driver who loves to do that same trick, playing Songs From the Crystal Cave and quizzing his passengers about their opinions before telling them whose album it is.

  628. Stu: When I heard about Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter I thought it just sounded kind of stupid. A winky one joke movie. But that trailer got me. If the movie plays as dead serious as the trailer I might love it.

  629. I will wait for Vern’s review to get into it in greater detail, but the new GHOST RIDER film is a lot of fun and the best use of Nic Cage in awhile. Cage plays Johnny Blaze as a jumpy pill popper barely clinging to his sanity, and has some good Mega moments. There are a few bits of post action, but for the most part the action is pretty clear.

  630. Mr. Subtlety:

    Thanks for posting those 2011-in-reviews. Though this is neither as articulate nor insightful as your post nor Dan’s, I will nonetheless throw down my own synopsis as well.

    Embarrassingly, I took it so much for granted that John Goodman’s performance in Red State would be universally reviled that I didn’t bother elaborating on why I hated it. Surprised to see your comment on that, almost enough to make me want to rewatch the film.

  631. Yeah Subtlety, your review of Red State was fantastic and makes me like it even more. I didn’t catch that the 2nd half was supposed to be a paranoid fantasy mirror image of the first half, but it’s truly an ingenious structure. (SPOILER: The movie switches sides at exactly the point our “main” character gets killed too, it’s really clever and bold)

    Majestyk – I have no idea why i forgot Jackass 3D, that was actually a pretty good time in 3D (even though I enjoyed Jackass 2 better as a film). But most of the time 3D doesn’t really work on me. Even the 3D that people seemed to universally agree was good like Transformers 3 has no effect on me and usually makes me headachey. So yeah, sadly “unobtrusive” like Ghost Rider II is about as high praise as I can expect to give.

  632. I saw it in 2D and loved it. Your description was dead on: simple, small scale, surprisingly sweet. I really liked the piss flamethrower reprise. Having a little kid have a giggle fit while the villain tries to exposit his evil scheme deflates a lot of the self-seriousness movies like this tend to pick up somewhere around the beginning of the third act.

    And yeah, the “HE’S SCRATCHIN’ AT THE DOOR!!!” freakout was a fucking classic. I dug all the weird body language Cage brought to the Rider. I thought the CGI looked surprisingly great, but I’m DYING to see a cut of the movie with just Cage in his Baron Samedi makeup, swaying back and forth and hissing like a cobra about to strike.

    Tragic waste of Tony Head, though. He flew all the way to Romania for that?

  633. If Mr Majestyk gives GHOST RIDER his seal of approval, I´ve got to check this out. After all, he´s the guy who made me appriciate Lorenzo Lamas even more…

  634. I’m honored, Shoot. Just remember that neal and I said “small scale.” Think of it as a bigger-budgeted DTV movie and you’ll be on its level.

    Also, don’t expect nonstop CRANKiness. It’s there, but it’s mostly seasoning, not the main course.

  635. Glad you liked it Majestyk! I tend to agree with Devin Faraci’s reviews most of the time, but I’m really at a loss to understand why he hated this film THAT MUCH. Not sure why he thinks the main actress is terrible and the kid is irritating, they’re both perfectly fine (I’ve seen ALOT of irritating kids in action movies, this one is not bad at all) I actually wouldn’t be surprised if he was reviewing an earlier (BNAT) cut of the movie.

    Also, I think saying that there’s too much filler/bonding between Blaze and the kid/mom is a strange complaint. GR is essentially (I think someone said it here) a werewolf movie; to have more onscreen Rider and less Blaze would be tiresome and I think the fact that (SPOILER) Blaze doesn’t hesitate to try to fight the bad guys after he loses his powers was actually kind of rousing.

  636. I saw the new GHOST RIDER in 3D, and I like the new 3D technology, but the few post action bits where really confusing in 3D. There are no technical problems with the 3D, but I expected them to utilize it more. It seemed to be even less 3D than the PHATOM MENACE rerelease. I would check out the standard version unless you just love 3D.

  637. Naw, I didn´t expect the new GHOST RIDER to be too “CRANK-y” anyway. I just don´t know how to convince anyone go with me to see a Nic Cage-movie in the theatres, sad to say….and I don´t think they want to see the sequel to a movie nobody liked in the first place.

  638. neal2zod, GR2 felt a lot like a supernatural version of T2 to me. (MILD SPOILERS) They are both about fatherless boys that somehow control the fate of humanity. In both films the boys are raised by their warrior outlaw mothers, pursued by ruthless killers, and find protection in a father figure that is an unstoppable killing machine.

    I thought all the stuff with Cage and the boy was good, but maybe I just liked it because it was more screen time for Cage.

  639. Charles – yeah T2 is definitely a huge influence, among other things (The entire Christopher Lambert character IS the Rod Steiger character from End of Days)

    And you’re right re: Cage and the boy – Ghost Rider is a strange franchise in that it’s headlining star is essentially absent from all the action sequences since he’s replaced by another character (even if the second one used Cage to mocap the character). The more screen time for Cage the better.

  640. neal2zod, I was wondering if they used Cage to mocap the Rider becuase he has a few Cagey moments I really liked.

  641. It was definitely Cage. Here’s a pic of what he looked like when he shot the Rider stuff:


    I wonder if there was ever a point where they were like, “You know, we could probably shave a few mill off the budget if we just went with this.”

  642. Brad Jones also gave it a very positive review, both as a fan of Nic Cage and for it being an action movie:
    I agree that we need more Christopher Lambert in our lives.

  643. Everyone here seems to be able to get out of the house watching cool shit in cinemas. Well,last night i did not have to leave my apartment for some awesome sauce. Concluded the SNAKE EATER saga and watched NINJA III- DOMINATION for the first time in my life.

    I actually think the third SNAKE EATER is my favourite, although I kind of miss Kelly´s goofy psycho sidekicks from the second one. he got a good replacement with Cowboy. Shit, I want to watch more adventures with these two guys. And kelly still got to come up with more death traps,like he did in part 2. he´s like a deranged MacGyver.

    I also like his twisted,original way of difusing awkwardly staged hostage situation. The shit he comes up with in the third installment…that´s pretty ingenious. He really is an unconventional cop. And that´s a good twist on a conventional actionmovie-idea.

  644. Mr. M, that was cool thanks. The first time you see the Rider and he seems to zone out and sway back and forth as if he were jamming to an Ipod we did not relize he had I figured that it might be Cage. This only further proves how great Cage is that he can act through mocap and he still instantly identifallble as Nic Cage.

  645. Woops, I hit Submit Comment before finishing my spell check. Sorry.

  646. I figured you guys would appreciate the DTV feel of GR2 tho I wish they’d just gone DTV and foregone the Hollywood formula of a generic plot. Even if they make sarcastic jokes about the plot, it’s still a boring generic plot that takes too much time away from Cage.

    I totally want to watch the DVD version of Cage in makeup. I bet it’s highly effective as it is.

    The studio confirmed the bnat cut was final so those review are fair.

    There’s also SEEKING JUSTICE coming up. Don’t get your hopes up tho. There’s no scene where Cage raises his fists to the sky and screams “JUSTIIIIIIIICD!” :(

  647. I liked GR2, but it could have been better. It’s definitely no BAD LIEUTENANT or even DRIVE ANGRY; DRIVE ANGRY fell frustratingly short of realising its true potential in much the same way, but it had more going on than GR2, and I suspect I’ll grow (even) fonder of it on repeat viewings.

    In fairness I should probably disclose that I came to GR2 almost entirely as a student of mega-acting, and I’m probably the only person on the planet who was more excited for this than for the forthcoming Bat, Spider and Norse God/Frozen Dude/Greenzo/Rich Prick/Whoever else films put together. So I’ll accept that I probably had overly high expectations for a cheapo sequel to a film no one liked, made mostly to hold on to rights. But I still think a collaboration between the CRANK guys and Cage should be more memorable than SPIRIT OF VENGANCE. I know they were working within a PG-13 Marvel licence, but I have to say I think that should have helped in many ways, as it does keep Neveldine/Taylor from their most purile excesses, while still giving them room to indulge much of Cage and their eccentricities.

    I do think there is something about Ghost Rider (as opposed to Johnny Blaze) that just makes for a poor action hero. I know there aren’t as many Cage fans around here these days as there used to be, but surely there aren’t that many people prepared to pay for one of his films who are genuinely glad everytime he turns into a CGI flaming skull with almost no personality. He’s also ridiculously invulnerable; yes, I know that might seem hypocritical from a Seagal fan, but at least his characters always had the *pretense* of vulnerability.

    In some ways Cage actually got more of his own touches into the first movie. The whole jellybean/monkeys/Carpenters thing is a distinctly Cageian touch I don’t think was matched in this movie. Even lines like Johnny Blaze saying he plans to become a Motorcycle cop after he quits being a daredevil had a bit more of the je ne sais quoi I want from Cage than anything I can think of from here.

    But I want it to be clear I did enjoy it, and I can give you some reasons too. Having Cage do extra face spasms before he turns into the Rider was definitely a good move, and there will almost certainly be a few good clips for any updated/new “losing his shit” video. The “he’s at the door” scene is a classic, as discussed. The cast was good across the board; always nice to see Lambert and Hinds, but I probably most enjoyed (outside of Cage, natch) Johnny Whitworth. I also feel this in N/T’s best filmatism to date; it’s distinctive without being obnoxious, a lot of nice touches, but a lot of scenes where they just let it be too. They were kind of like a low-rent DePalma here, and that’s not an insult in my book.

    So I enjoyed it. But remember I quite enjoyed SEASON OF THE WITCH too

  648. I watched Kung Fu Panda 2; didn’t see the first one, NEVER would have watched the second if not for recommendations from members of this community. Thanks guys, it was a blast! I totally assumed it was just one of those animated things where ever voice over is an ethnic stereotype, there are raunchy inappropriate sexual undertones, and a bunch of fart humor.

  649. You might enjoy part 1 too, although you just saw the better one of the two movies. It’s worth watching for the action scenes alone, though. The prison escape is one of my top action scenes of the last decade!

  650. I find myself forgetting how much I love 90s anime and then these videos come along and remind me.

    Speaking of anime, Griff, where can I buy BLACK LAGOON?

    So, is the new GR film essentially the PUNISHER WAR ZONE to the original’s PUNISHER?

    I’m seeing it tomorrow and have to go with 3D which isn’t ideal but no cinema where I live EVER gives me the choice of 2D or 3D, which stinks.

  651. “Speaking of anime, Griff, where can I buy BLACK LAGOON?”

    that’s a good question, despite my avatar I have not actually seen Black Lagoon yet, all of the discs of it are out of print I think, I guess you could try Amazon?

    I stumbled upon those videos by accident and I’m sure glad I did

  652. Griff – thanks for that, I’ll check amazon.

    Very surprised the DVDs are out of print. Even the recent mini series is hard to get.

    The latest anime I managed to get was high school of the dead and ninja scroll tv series. Only watched first eps of both but digging them.

  653. Speaking of avatars, how can I set my own avatar on this site? Everyone has cool shit next to their names, I don´t wanna be left out…

  654. Shoot – go to gravatar.com and it magically sets one up for you that follows you around everywhere, it’s pretty awesome.

  655. that rap song will be stuck in my head for days…

  656. Oof, I just went to war with the guys at filmfreakcentral.

    My beef is this. I used to religiously read Walter Chaw, but he keeps saying stuff that I just can’t get behind.

    1. From his interview with Charlie Kaufman: “…a woman’s sexuality expressed through art is just sort of alien–you know, almost insectile–for me”.

    2. I’m not going to go digging around for the myriad of comments, but he’s been waging a campaign against Penelope Cruz for some time, belaboring the notion that she is the most hideously unattractive woman in the world. He can barely talk about an ugly monster in an unrelated film without comparing said monster to Cruz.

    3. From his review of Contagion: “…all Contagion does is kill Gwyneth Paltrow ugly, which, in the grand scheme of things, is only what every sentient human being in the United States has contemplated already. (I confess I amused myself during the scene in which Paltrow’s afflicted adulteress has her brain scooped out of her head by muttering “Goop, indeed.” Sue me.) ”

    4. He seems to have a crush on the young women in Kick Ass (NOT Hit Girl, it’s not THAT bad) and Fright Night.

    So I posted on their blog and mentioned points 1-3, and referred to him being in love with the “children” in point 4. Maybe that’s a little severe, but I have the impression that Chaw is twice the age of these women? I dunno. What do you guys think, am I being a troll?

  657. renfield – how´s it trolling if you speak your mind? I´m not familiar with the people you are talking about. I don´t know, if you have to ask yourself that question; you´re not. If you feel you have legit arguments, that´s not trolling..

  658. This chaw guy sounds deeply unpleasant.

    Why would those guys rush to defend him?

  659. The webmaster responded to my comment and noted that Imogen Poots (Fright Night) is 23, and said:

    “How old does a woman have to be before you can publicly admit she’s attractive? 30? 50? 100? Frankly, your original (well, third) post is a weird little ambush and I don’t really get where it’s coming from.”

    Maybe I went a little overboard, I dunno. I do have hangups in general about younger women and older men, due to a few experiences I have had.

    And what the fuck does “kill Gwyneth Paltrow ugly” even mean? Kill her in an ugly fashion? Kill her while she is ugly?

  660. You cannot win any argument on a site like that. All you can do is say your piece and ready yourself for the barbs.

    The guy sounds unpleasant – I have no idea what that gwyneth paltrow thing means, either.

    He clearly has a problem with women.

    Don’t waste any more energy on the dude, renfield. You will just go round in circles, bro.

  661. Right. I guess my defensiveness re: trolling is a product of how internet communities function. I have posted on FFC on occasion but am probably not considered a “member of the community,” so they’re going to insulate themselves from people like me coming in and criticizing.

    Hey, I started doing this whole net forum thing back in the fucking mid 1990s. I started posting on the AOL movie boards when I was thirteen or fourteen years old and so have some experience with the exclusivism that this sort of stuff breeds. But I still have my insecurities I suppose. Your soothing words calm my soul.

  662. “…a woman’s sexuality expressed through art is just sort of alien–you know, almost insectile–for me”.

    man, that’s a really stupid statement, what the hell is that guy talking about?

  663. I always felt that Penelope Cruz favored a ferret but common sense dictates that if you spend THAT much time talking about somebody; you probably subliminally admire them and that eats you up inside. So in conclusion this Walter Chaw guy not only wants to marry Penelope Cruz and move to a farm where they could make mucho babies; but he probably also wants to drink her bathwater.

  664. I dunno, Renfield; he does sound terrible and smarmy and basically representative of 95% of people on the internet (which is why I treasure the people on this site) but I do have to take his side on issue #4. Finding Lyndsey Fonsecca or Imogen Poots hot, no matter what his age, isn’t weird or out of the ordinary. They’re both of-age and are sexualized in every movie and photo shoot they do, like pretty much every young actress these days. Granted, I did feel weird the first time I saw Transformers 1 when Michael Bay’s camera lingered on Megan Fox’s supposedly 16(?) year old character’s midriff like he was shooting a porn, so I know where you’re coming from.

    And don’t get me wrong, I hated the older man/younger woman thing from life experiences too (as did every other guy i know who went to high school/college). But I think “woman hooking up with Jersey Shore-style douchebag” has pretty much supplanted that today, so much to the point where I actually don’t really see that coupling much anymore. Speaking of – have you seen Solitary Man with Poots and Michael Douglas? I’ll give you one guess what happens there.

  665. Fox was 19/20 when TRANSFORMERS was shot. Still half the age of Bay, but hey, to quote Reverend Lovejoy once somethings legal it’s no longer immoral. And hey, those guys know!

    However, Fox would have been a few years younger when she made her big screen debut in BAD BOYS II as “Stars-and-Stripes Bikini Kid Dancing Under Waterfall”…

  666. Rehydrated Dehydrated Pirate Paul

    February 20th, 2012 at 11:33 am

    Broddie – holy shit, I must’ve had the biggest crush on my psycho (male) ex-boss. :)

    But seriously… yeah I see your point. I haven’t read this guy’s reviews though and I am always wary of making too much out of a few out-of-context quotations, especially if they’re the most extreme examples of a much larger body of work that the guy has. I’ll look him up and give my two cents.

  667. Michael Bay is my dad’s age, which for some reason I find really funny

  668. Chaw’s one of the dudes who got me into film criticism. Generally he gravitates towards the Synecdoche NY/Tree of Life side of things, but he was one of the first critics I was familiar with who would give 4 star ratings to genre films like Hellboy 2. I was insulated against the overhyping of Dark Knight, so when he proclaimed it the greatest American sequel since Godfather 2 (the first feedback I heard about the film) I was in a tizzy of excitement.

    So yeah, I don’t mean for anybody to write the dude off. Everybody says stupid shit sometimes. It’s not as if he’s Armond White or something.

  669. Caught GHOST RIDER: SoV last night and it’s pretty much garbage. Entertaining garbage but still garbage.

    It’s still better than the first one, IMHO.

    On the plus side, it did have for the most part that manic energy their other films have there’s a few mad ideas in there, along with some crazy shots that Neveldine/Taylor are pretty good at.

    Sadly, the best one has been used to death and beyond in the trailers (You know the one: Elba plus gun minus bike).

    Cage was clearly having a whale of a time under the make-up, which is more than can be said for his performance as Johnny Blaze.

    Maybe I just didn’t get it but he seemed…off, somehow. To be fair, he’s playing a guy who’s possessed by a demon-thing and that’d be enough to make anyone seem off.

    Maybe actual possessed people will see Cage in this and say, wow, that’s just how I feel. I don’t know.

    The 3D was the worse kind: the kind that only serves to make me pay more money for essentially nothing. I noticed an occasional effect that was clearly there in an lazy effort to say, HERE! THIS is where your extra cash went!

    The best bit for me was when a bunch of Satanists are hailing the new anti-christ at a ceremony and the good guys are running thru tunnels.

    I found myself hoping they’d bump into the ending of KILL LIST.

    POSSIBLE SPOILER: They don’t.

  670. Casey: The folklore in J-horror doesn’t benefit the creepy girls with long hair so much as it adds resonance to the motivations and dilemmas of the characters. The inescapability of fate and stuff like that. But I’m not going to push the hard sell. I know the genre has its faults.

    Paul: I think a case could be made that Kiyoshi Kurosawa has the makings of an auteur like Cronenberg; the existential alienation that he explores just happens to exist in the horror genre.

  671. Rehydrated Dehydrated Pirate Paul

    February 21st, 2012 at 6:43 pm

    Jareth – I’ll have to check out more of his movies before I answer that one. (Actually I may already have… for some reason I tend not to remember directors’ names when I watch J-horror, unless it’s someone I’d notice anyway, like Miike.) But “Kairo” definitely seemed to have its own individual “style” about it. And although it was slow, it had me hooked the whole way through.

    The most frightening thing about it, which the American remake TOTALLY missed, is that you never find out what happens to the characters. There are definite suggestions that they’re still alive, somewhere, maybe trapped in some kind of alternative dimension, maybe still able to communicate, to feel pain, etc… That suggestion creeps me the fuck out more than just about anything else I can remember in any other horror movie I’ve seen.


    Anyway, on another subject… I know there are a lot of MMA fans on this forum, like myself. Anybody see the news about Dana White about a week ago? Apparently he went on a rant against piracy and in support of SOPA – which I can kinda understand, I’m no supporter of online piracy and it must be galling if you genuinely believe that people are harming your business – but this was pretty psychotic. After railing against the Internet in general, he basically dared Anonymous to “hack” him. And Anonymous did just that, to the UFC website. I’m guessing people will be a lot more wary of providing them with credit card details now – which is kinda important if you happen to run a web-based business portal.

    I mean… Dana White has always come across well, to me. Seemed like a fair-minded level-headed guy. Maybe he had another side that I hadn’t seen up until now (well, clearly, after this!) But to see him go off on one like this… is not pleasant. I sympathise with his frustrations regarding piracy, but he’s lost a lot of my respect. Apart from his support of SOPA, which I absolutely disagree with – calling out people to “hack” him? Why would you DO something like that? Am I the only person who finds it really, really, incredibly dumb?

    And then to call the hackers “terrorists”, thereby invoking memories of other unwarranted uses of that word… when he called them out in the first place… he genuinely seems to be under the delusion that the public are on his side about this. And they’re really, really not.

    Here’s a link to the story: http://news.softpedia.com/news/UFC-Site-Hacked-After-Dana-White-Threatens-Anonymous-249073.shtml

  672. so somebody just died on Glee, in case anyone cares

  673. I’m not the biggest fan of Anonymous but Dana White deserved to get hacked. He comes off as having “Scarface Syndrome” where he rises to the top of his profession and then thinks he’s some kind of invincible god that can’t be taken down. He mouths off way too much and comes off as an insufferable prick. When anyone criticizes him or the UFC his response basically amounts to “You’re an idiot for questioning me, go fuck yourself.” When fans complained about the first UFC fight on FOX only being one fight (which lasted about 30 seconds), he went on a tirade basically saying the fans are idiots since they didn’t log onto facebook to watch the undercard fights. Uhh, there’s a big difference between watching a fight with your buddies on a 50 inch hdtv and watching it via facebook on your laptop. You can’t treat your fans and other organizations like that without any consequences.

    The negative criticism of Blade 2 around here is pretty surprising. I thought for sure everyone here agreed that, as Vern put it, “Blade 2 is the Godfather 2 of Blade movies.” I’m not a Blade fanatic. I’ve never read the comics or anything, so maybe I’m ignorant but Blade 2 blows Blade 1 out of the water. The first Blade is a good movie, but the second is a fucking classic. Whatever it lacks in acting, story, etc., it makes up for in pure awesomeness. It’s basically Del Toro saying, “Fuck, it. I’m throwing as much cool shit into this as possible.” I loved the look, loved the rivalry between Blade and Ron Perlman, the cgi is very well done (except for the snake dance fight about a half hour in), Blade fucking suplexing a vampire through glass, cool looking bad guys who’s mouth separates to eat its victims, Donnie Yen and Vincent from The Fast and the Furious, etc. There’s just so much cool shit here it overrides any of the movie’s weaknesses. My inner 15 year old boy loves the fuck out of Blade 2. You could go through and nitpick the shit out of it by why do that? Just let the awesomeness wash over you.

  674. Rehydrated Dehydrated Pirate Paul

    February 21st, 2012 at 7:53 pm

    Griff – what, for real? Was it Gwyneth?

  675. Speaking of a prick, who’s been following the C.M. Punk/Chris Brown twitter feud? It’s been incredibly, amusingly stupid so far.

    Well, “stupid” in Brown’s case. Yes accuse him in a libelous tweet of taking steroids, which you then deleted because one of your lawyers pointed out how dumb you were to engage in a tweet “feud” with a pro wrestler. Then Punk posts this response:


    Then Brown tweets back something about missing real wrestlers like “brett the hitman heart.”

    Look I know it’s twitter, and I RRA have no place to criticize others on spelling/grammar typos, but Jesus Chris you look dumb. Even by Twitter standards.

    I mean follow Vern’s standards. Strive for excellence!

    (Also I’ll be honest, if that match really was brokered (Vince McMahon isn’t against shamelessly exploiting controversy), I would buy that PPV.)

  676. I only just realized that Vern has yet to review Wild At Heart. I sure hope he’s seen it though. It’s pretty much essential viewing for all Nic Cage scholars and it has one of the all-time-great mega-acting ensembles.

    Speaking of which, Diane Ladd was nominated for a Best Supporting Actress Academy Award for her role in that film. Can y’all think of any other industry recognized achievements in mega-acting (nomination or win)?

  677. Rehydrated Dehydrated Pirate Paul

    February 22nd, 2012 at 3:21 am

    Mixalot – well, Pacino won an Oscar for “Scent of a Woman”. HOO-HA!

  678. Guys, Marko Zaror’s MANDRILL is finally coming out on US DVD & blu-ray next week.

    Amazon.com has it up for pre-order with almost half off. For some reason, the DVD and BD are the same price – $15.99.

    I’ve had it on good authority that this film is the shit.

  679. I just saw Shame, it kinda blew me away. I remember someone on here saying there was too much Fassbender cock – Paul, I think – but it really is only on screen for a second. And something about it being too artsy? Don’t agree with that either, I thought the slowness of it made it more powerful, you really got to focus on Fassbender’s amazing performance.

    It really is a joke that Clooney got the Golden Globe instead of The Fass. I haven’t seen The Descendants and Clooney is a cool guy and all, but he doesn’t have half the range Fassbender does. And him not even being nominated for an Oscar? That’s just insanity. Dude could out-act any of those other guys using just his cock.

    Actually, he did.

  680. Well, I just saw STREET SAVAGES, an 80´s rape/revenge exploitation flick and I feel kind of dirty from watching it, because I enjoyed it so much even though (maybe?) I probably shouldn´t. A mute girl gets gang raped for goodness sake! But it doesn´t appologize for being sleazy, which I appreciate.

    But I don´t know, maybe I´been more naive than I thought about movies, even though I´ve seen I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE and some other stuff and quite a LOT of garbage. I guess this is just now, I´m starting to ask myself these questions, since I did not like “SPIT”, but really enjoyed “SAVAGES”.

  681. Wait, it was called SAVAGE STREETS…….

  682. Except for Gary Oldman of course, but his role in Tinker Tailor is not as Oscar worthy as Fassbender’s in Shame.

  683. Mike – Is Tinker Tailor… a movie you recommend otherwise

    And before I forget…SAVAGE STREETS has one of my favourite oneliners of all time: ” too bad you´re not double jointed,so you could kiss your ass goodbye!”

  684. While we are talking about Oscars: I have to ask again if anybody is willing to join my little Oscar Hangout on Sunday:


  685. CJ – I´m sad to say I do not own a webcamera and it´s too bad that Skype is not an alternative for you, otherwise I might been up for it. Despite knowing complete fuck about the nominated movies. Not one of these movies have I seen.

  686. Yeah I’m a skype guy myself. Sorry CJ, would’ve liked to grumble with you as THE ARTIST wins Best Picture, followed shortly by obscurity.

    I mean really, TREE OF LIFE was by balls away the best of last year…and it never stood a chance of winning.

  687. 1-900-MIXALOT: Vern has definitely seen WILD AT HEART; he mentioned it in passing years ago. His remarks about the film weren’t as hostile as his slapdown of MULHOLLAND DR, but I seem to remember he wasn’t particularly enthusiastic about the film.

    I think it’s a film that would improve in Vern’s opinion now that he’s a scholar of Mega Acting. Lynch creates very fertile ground for Mega Actors. And I think Vern’s trip to the HOLY MOUNTAIN might have broadened his ability to appreciate bizarre strains of badass, like Bobby Peru in WILD AT HEART.

  688. Shoot – I know some people that enjoyed Tinker Tailer a lot, but it was a little too dry for me and the plot was confusing. For example someone had to tell me afterwards that two characters were actually gay and that’s why they acted like they did in the movie. Didn’t pick up on that at all! There’s more stuff like that, maybe you had to have read the book to understand everything.

    Oldman is good but very, very stoic, it’s not exactly fireworks. I guess it doesn’t have to be always, understatement is an art in itself, but I just wanted something more from it.

  689. A shame that my “weapon of choice” seems to be the big dealbreaker (I do think that you don’t even need a webcam, though. It will then show just a black picture or your Avatar) for my virtual Oscar party, but really, I had it with Skype. It worked very well back in 2007 and since then got worse with every update. Also when I had another project a while ago, where participants needed Skype, many people where complaining about not having Skype and not being willing to install it. So…yeah, in the end I always use the wrong format.
    Maybe next year?

  690. Rehydrated Dehydrated Pirate Paul

    February 22nd, 2012 at 10:46 am

    Mike A – I was half-joking about the cock thing. (Half.) The scene where Fassbender walks up to the camera at cock-level, turns around, and walks away with it at butt-level, though, is pretty damn gratuitous. They do that TWICE.

    I agree with you though on nearly everything. There are one or two scenes that I felt didn’t work because they were a little “art school” – the night-time jogging and the broken “stop” light for one thing, wasn’t exactly subtle – but for the most part I thought “Shame” was really, really good.

    “Tinker Tailor” I thought was very well-made, I just don’t like whodunnits where there are literally no clues, except “meta” ones, to the villain’s identity. Yeah, I saw it coming from the first half hour, probably most people on this forum would; but does anybody care? The “suspects” – and there are really only two, despite the movie’s insistence on there being five – aren’t ever really shown in detail in terms of what they actually do in their jobs, etc, which I thought was kinda important.

    What I did like, though, was that we got to see, first-hand, the results of the traitor’s actions. That’s not always possible in spy flicks – you never, for example, see any of the people Robert Hanssen was supposed to have betrayed and gotten killed in “Breach”. In “Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy”, you see the bloody results of the traitor’s actions, contrasted directly with the traitor’s impersonal attitude towards the whole business; and that for me was brutally effective.

  691. Paul – It’s not gratuitous I think. It’s to show his daily routine and the emptiness of his life etc. But you know that, I guess your point is why did they have to show him at cock level. I guess it wasn’t completely necessary, but it didn’t feel overly gratuitous to me… it was just that sort of film.

    What do you think of that one scene though where you clearly see Fassbender putting his nose deep between the buttcheeks of that hooker? Wonder what that actress must’ve felt like… unless she was a porn actress of course. Then it probably was something to brag about to her colleagues. “Hey guys, guess who sniffed my butt yesterday?”

  692. I’ve survived Mardi Gras in the odorous sinscape known as New Orleans. Met a lot of colorful people, including one guy who remembers Lee Harvey Oswald handing out Communist leaflets in their neighborhood. All the parades were gaudy odes to debauchery, and I refuse to solicit beads or other cheap plastic crap, but I enjoyed being close to them and tossing a nerf football with small children when their drunken parents were preoccupied.

    I saw Will Ferrell, Cyndi Lauper, Harry Connick, Bret Michaels, and possibly Zach Galifianakis & a couple other celebrities. Yay.

    More importantly, I befriended the sister of the actor playing the next Superman villain. I love his work with Herzog & Mendes, personally, and I’m glad he’s now working with one of my favorite directors and giving something to the nerd community. Perhaps I shall show neal2zod my boring pictures of my encounter with Zod2’s sister if we are able to meet at ActionFest.

  693. Paul – the blonde girl, Quinn I think is the characters name? she dies in a car crash while texting (or she maybe dies, it isn’t 100% yet)

    CJ Holden – I have a webcam and I’d love to join your thing, but the only problem is that I wont be able to actually watch the Oscars while I do, the computer’s not in the same room…

    but do you plan on sticking around after the Oscars are over? because I’ll show up then

  694. Mouth – did you get to see a lot of boobies I hope?

  695. Griff: I don’t know. The thing is, the Oscars end for me at around 5:30am, then I have to bring my sister to work (It’s just a 5 minutes walk, it’s not very save at that time of the day.) and depending on how my day is supposed to look like afterwards, I might need some hours of sleep by then.
    Also I wonder if there is some kind of live stream over the internet, that might be viewable. I know the Academy has its own YouTube channel,where they also live streamed the announcement of the nominations. I wonder if they will do the same for the show.

  696. Indeed, Griff, the tits have been plentiful in the 504. The warm weather allowed some of the more enterprising slores to wear nothing but body paint, Allah bless them.

    Unfortunately, Bourbon Street’s usually clear demarcation between libidinous gay district & drunken buffoon hetero district apparently breaks down over Mardi Gras, so, amongst the plentiful titties, I had several close scrapes with older men in assless pants & thongs and such. I’m not homophobic, but, as I’ve said before, I don’t like being around exposed body cavities in public. And some of those dudes need to wax or something. Eww. To be fair, many of the topless ladies were disgusting as well.

    I only visited the French Quarter once this trip, though. Most of my time was spent more wisely at awesome house parties & block parties where some semblance of civilization prevailed.

  697. well CJ, can you maybe just leave that chat thing open and maybe every so often we could all hop in and talk?

    well we’ll see, I may just skip the Oscars and chat with you guys

    also, look what I found http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lzk6vzjMrX1qg0qp5o1_500.jpg

  698. oh Mouth, you have no idea how jealous I am

    I don’t know what I’d do if some lady whipped her tits out in front of me, I probably wouldn’t be able to resist reaching out and grabbing them with both hands, but then I would wind up in the jailhouse

    the closest I’ve ever been to that sort of situation was in summer of 2009 I took a trip Fort Lauderdale and visited Deerfield Beach where there were plenty of very, very attractive ladies in thongs…

    I mean dear God, I thought I was gonna die….

  699. Jack McClane has been cast:
    It’s a promising choice for sure, if they assertion of Jack being “more of a hardass” than John is true.

  700. Jesus Christ, you guys. You guys. Jesus.

  701. I didn’t know A GOOD DAY TO DIE HARD is set in Moscow.

    I guess about time McClane would go overseas.

    Oh wait, is this another Cold-War-with-Russia-isn’t-over-according-to-Hollywood thriller?



  703. I’m having now a test hangout for Sunday. It will be open for at least 2 more hours. If you can, please join, even or ESPECIALLY if you don’t own a cam or mic. I wanna see what it possible.
    You have to add me to your circles to join, though.


  704. Okay, it’s already over, because I got all important info very quick.


    So if the lack of hardware or being shy or mysterious* was a huge dealbreaker for you, now you know that you can still be able to watch it with us.
    You still have to sign up to Google+, though and add me to your circles. That way it will be a pretty private (not THAT kind of private) webcam session.

    *Yes, I dare to officially invite our leader Vern to this.

  705. Oh shit! It´s this weekend? I´m not at home…fuck shit fuck shit fuck shit. Oh, well. next year.

  706. Don’t worry, man. It’s just The Oscars. And I the Emmys are already in a few months.

  707. Before I forget. I saw DEATH HUNT starring Bronson and Marvin the other day and found this little gem on youtube. It´s a guy who worked as an intern on the movie. The twoparter-video consists of behind the scenes stills and him commentating the images and what his experiences on the movie were. I wish more people would do the same.


  708. well guys, I just read some of the best news of my entire life today


    Read or Die, the anime franchise that I’m a huge fan of? is BACK with a new manga

    I feel like I’m gonna faint, I’ve been waiting YEARS for this

  709. The raid will be called the raid: redemption when it is released in the u.s.

    Why? It bugs me, I have to say. It smacks of needless marketing meddling and it brings zero to anything.

    Maybe I should be glad they went with that and not something like the raid: extreme swat stairway battles.

    The as yet unmade sequel has also got a title – the raid: retaliation.

    No other real details on that as yet but nice to see the makers are big g.i. Joe fans.

  710. Karlos- You don’t get it. With EXPENDABLES 2 going Pussified Garbage-13, The Raid is the redemption of action cinema.

    CJ- are you not all concerned about not really being able to comment some of the Oscar contenders because they’re not even released outside the US yet?

  711. Not really. I mean, who can really claim to have seen every Oscar contender?

  712. It’s a pointless subtitle but whatever gets people to see it. Studio marketing never makes mistakes, right? A least they’re throwing some weight behind it.

    Funniest thing to me is THE RAID is already generic enough. It’s the movie that’s awesome, not the title. Waiting for RISE OF THE RAID.

  713. Did any of you guys see the new episode of NINJA THE MISSION FORCE? Richard Harrison is in it (…)
    and there is a really funny ninja fight. My favourite move was “irritating penguin”!

  714. I knew I forgot something. Thanks for the reminder. Watching now.

  715. I suppose the finale of a THE RAID trilogy would have to be subtitled “Requiem”?

  716. Hey everybody, I have been thinking about getting into this “trying to make money sometimes” thing that other people do. As one pathetic step in my plan I set up a “LinkedIn” profile and accepted some link requests that a couple people sent me years ago. So if any of you happen to be on there, hook me up. Your varied professional expertise will make me look good and I will give you the Seagalogical-credit-by-association your future employers have been looking for.

  717. Shit, man, I’d already listed you in my in the professional references section of my resumé.

    If a Google HR rep calls you, Vern, please tell him/her that I’m a good, hard working person.

  718. I laughed for about a good ten minutes when I stumbled upon this


  719. Nic Cage interested in doing a CON AIR sequel. Hey, so am I. But not bloody likely it´ll happen.


  720. Just wanted to remind everybody, that that Oscar Hangout is going to happen tomorrow. Again, you have to join Google+ (Hey, you don’t have to use it after the Oscars.) and add me, so that I can add you back. ( https://plus.google.com/111766364925390212312 ) At some point during the pre show (when they are interviewing celebs on the red carpet) I will start the hangout and you can just join.*
    You don’t necessarily need a webcam and/or a microphone. Sure, we can’t see or hear you, but there is a text chat available, so we can communicate.
    You do need a TV with the Oscar show running, though. I don’t think that they will stream it over the internet.
    And yeah, I know, nobody cares for the Oscars, but I give you here the opportunity to bitch about them in real time with others! That should be fun!

    *If I’m still alone after 45 minutes into the show, I will go to bed though.

  721. CJ – I’ll try to show up, but I have a shit webcam

    I don’t have a mic though, can you just have video and text?

  722. Yes, like I said, it’s no problem. You can see and hear everybody, so you know what’s going on and you don’t need a cam AND a mic. If you have just one of it, it’s okay too.

  723. ok CJ, you convinced me to finally join one of those infernal Social Networking sites

    it’s showing my real name though, is there any way to change that?

    ahhh fuck it, who cares….

  724. If you go to EDIT PROFILE and then click on your name, you can change that. I don’t know how Google stands now to fake profile names these days, so don’t use something too obvious.

  725. And you can also change to whom your name is visible and shit like that.

  726. I could never figure out social networks. I’ve tried it all from the really famous ones to the more obscure ones within the last decade and could never stay on them past 2 days at most.

    Forums may seem outdated now but are so much more my thing cause I always find like minded people on them. Like this great site here. On sites like facebook and shit people that call themselves “serious movie fans” are the type that view the AFI list like it’s some type of biblical scroll and insult the genius of the early TROMA movies cause of their production values. I don’t have time for such posers.

    Even when I use it them to supposedly “stay in touch” with friends and family I realize that after I accept their request and make the effort to “stay in touch” by trying to engage them in semi regular dialogue it never gets reciprocated anyway.

    Then when I delete the accounts and see them at parties or whatever they’re all like “dude wtf happened to your profile, how can we keep in touch” all while having my phone numbers and email addy programmed somewhere in their mobile.

    You don’t truly “connect” with people cause you share interests or whatever like they fool people into thinking. If these people like the same movies as you and the same sports and music they still won’t accept your request cause “I don’t know you bro” so then how are you supposed to “network”?

    Shit is just ridiculous and takes way too much time and effort to even get anything out of it. I read somewhere that unless you’re a celeb or a very powerful and familiar company brand the use of social networks is pretty negligible and I definitely agree.

    Though this is the first time I ever been on a forum where some regular posters actually tried to organize something to get all regular posters involved on social networks together. Most of the time people want to stay anonymous and disconnected. So I applaud that cause that’s using those social media things within their proper context. It’s just a shame I won’t be available tomorrow to even participate. But maybe this could become a more regular occurence. If it does it definitely is the first valid reason I’ve seen to even contemplate opening a G+ account.

  727. Yeah, I was a huge MySpace user back in its day, because after all it was the first time where you could “talk” to celebrities (some of them even replied) and I liked that you could write blogs and upload your selfmade music and shit, but when it died, it became boring. I skipped Facebook completely (Okay, I have an account, but I use it only to get freebies. Like when Juno, an online music shop, gave out every day before Xmas a new song for free, but you had to “like it” on Facebook to get the link).
    Twitter…well, I signed up in 2007, but didn’t get it’sappeal until a good year earlier, during a boring three week training event. I constantly use it now, mostly because I’m a random person and typing short, stupid sentences, is exactly my thing. And most important, I even met some of the people who I talk to on there in real life!
    Google+, I signed up last summer, when you still needed an invite, left after a few weeks, then just returned recently, when I realized how useful these Hangouts are.

    All in all: Social networks are overrated, but you can get some cool stuff out of them. But nobody really needs to sign up.

  728. Oh, and btw, tomorrow we might be joined by some folks who are not “from here”, but they are cool.

  729. Myspace was until now the only social networking site I tried and it was so unbelievably awful I just never did much with it, plus I remember friending some of my cousins on there and they never, ever contacted me in any way on the site, so what was even the point?

    this has got me thinking though, are any of you guys on here big PC gamers? maybe I should start a Steam group

  730. I joined up with google and added you, CJ.

  731. Anyone see the fifth ep of Spartacus? Jesus, that shit felt like a season finale. I’m loving how this season is shaping up so far.

    Still miss Andy though…

  732. What famous people responded to you calls, CJ?

  733. “What famous people responded to you calls, CJ?”
    Well he’s german, so I assume David Hasselhoff.

  734. Griff, if you start a Steam group, I will join. You will be familiar with the reference made by my steam ID, which is Shonenbatu.

  735. Pegsman: You mean back then on MySpace? It’s been a while, but James Gunn did, Moby, Ted Raimi…from then on it’s blurry. It’s been too long. (I was there from 2005-2008 or 09 and it’s not that was constantly chatting with those guys.)
    Stu: I was wondering who that was. :D I added you!

  736. Michael Parks on Johnny Cash Show.I might have posted this link here before.. but it´s too good to ignore


  737. Okay, I’m gonna start this some time during the red carpet pre-show. When it’s on, a link should appear on my profile and you might also receive a message from me.
    So I hope we will have at least a little fun during the Oscars tonight. :)

  738. I’ll be watching DIRTY HARRY on tv, which ends just before the ceremony proper starts.


  740. Screw that. I’m watching Xena pee in a bottle and get busted for trying to take down the oil industry.

  741. Alright dudes, bear with me for a second:

    I’ve decided, as part of my extreme boredom due to not putting fun chemicals in my head, to plunge into rewatching The Wire in its entirety and writing it up for the ol’ blog. I’ve got about 30 pages on season 1, mostly drivel/opinionated plot description. I’m trying to pad it with as much interesting information as I can, explaining different slang terms that are used and shit like that.

    Help me out:

    1) McNulty has his kids follow Stringer using a method called “front and follow”. Does anybody know the mechanics of this technique? Can you explain it to me?

    2) I’m collecting the various terms that are used for the drugs. This becomes more prevalent in Season 3 with “WMD” and “pandemic” and “Rockefeller” and so forth. There’s not much of it in Season 1, so far I have “Killa Bees” and “Family Affair”, anything else I’m missing?

    I should probably do my own work on this….

  742. renfield: Two surveillance operatives approach the target at different times. The first falls in behind the target and begins following him discreetly. The second operative predicts the target’s path and takes up a position ahead of him. The two agents continue in this manner until the front operative feels the need to lie low or misinterprets the target’s destination. Then the following operative repositions to the front and the other operative falls in behind.

  743. Also, I believe “front & follow” is considered a risky technique, which is one of the many reasons McNulty is a dick; he shouldn’t have put his kids in that situation.

  744. So the point of the front is both to misdirect, as in, if this guy’s in front of me he can’t be following me, and to provide fault tolerance for the follow should they fall too far behind?

  745. And yeah, no shit, it’s great that it segues from him finally showing what a good dad he is, engaging the kids in this quiz game regarding jersey numbers, into him basically being the worst dad ever.

  746. That’s my understanding. Law enforcement is big on the idea of surrounding the target, not just following it.

  747. Thanks for the info. You will be credited.

    I also found the following list of drug pseudonyms

    Tech 9
    In the Hole
    Q tip
    Killer Bee
    Red Dilly
    Gold stars
    Family Affair
    Death Row

    Man…how did I miss so many? Makes me want to give up on the whole fucking thing.

  748. No need for credit. Just let me know if you ever find out where Wallace is.

  749. Hey man, don’t joke about Wallace…:)

  750. Hey,pegsman, are the FAMILY OF COPS – movies worth seeing? I found a boxset with all three of them, but I´m not sure about them…

  751. I quite enjoyed FAMILY OF COPS 1+2, but they are basically Lifetime movies with a little bit of Bronson action, so adjust your expectations accordingly. Actually, they’re very similar to that Tom Selleck/Donnie Wahlberg TV show BLUE BLOODS. There’s a funny bit in the second one where the Russian Mafia boss tries to prove he’s down with the west by saying he likes Pink Floyd.

    Anyway, seems that ACT OF VALOR has hit No. 1 in the US, which surprised me. It’s only about $10mil away from beating GREEN ZONE’s entire US run, and in fact all movies which deal with contemporary war themes had been struggling at the Box Office until now. Militarism is pretty hip in the UK right now; is it the same in the US?

  752. Just wanted to say that the Oscar Hangout was a success and lots of fun. Now I go back to bed.

  753. TRUE JUSTICE season 1 has gotten a DVD release in Australia, for any that are interested.

    Just noticed that there’s a second season on the way – didn’t see that coming.

    Also, the DC of EXPENDABLES on blu has just come out in Germany, for any region B only dudes.

  754. The dvd releases of TRUE JUSTICE in Europe are really strange. They release two episodes as seperate movies and slap on a title. I have terrible problems myself in remembering which of these I should watch in correct order, there is a listing on wikipedia that can come in handy when I get both my thumbs out of my ass and actually purchase them.

  755. karlos – I assume the German blu for The Expendables DC has English audio as well? I might have to import it from Germany as it’s not in the release schedule of any Dutch online store and Play.com only has a release date of 11 June 2012, which is ridiculous.

  756. Mike A – yes, English audio, thankfully.

    It’s up on Amazon.de, which I’ve been told is easy to order from.

    Agreed – why there’s a 4 month release gap between Germany and the UK, I’ll never know.

  757. Shoot, there are a lot of Bronson movies I would buy before the Family of Cops trilogy.There’s a box out containing Hard Times, Breakout and Death Wish you can buy cheap almost everywhere. I’ve also found that a lot of the 80’s stuff are much better than I seemed to remember, and they’re pretty easy to get hold of. The Evil That Men Do, for instance. And be careful not to watch Family of Cops III before you’ve seen every single one of his other movies.

  758. I´ve got most of Bronson´s 80´s movies. Those Cannon films are very easy to get ahold of, thanks to MGM. Mostly the mid to late 70´s flicks that I miss sorely. Like WHITE BUFFALO, ST IVES, HARD TIMES and BREAKOUT. If the boxset that you are talking about is that easily available in Norway, I should probably be able to get my hands on it. I don´t mind owning two copies oF DEATH WISH. Noone does.

  759. Looks like I will have to wait for a re-issue. That boxset has gone out of stock everywhere

  760. play.com in England has a good selection. Cheap too.

  761. I just made myself a quadruple feature of THE STONE KILLER, TELEFON, LOVE AND BULLETS, and FAREWELL, FRIEND. My Bronson collection is pretty massive at this point. I think I have something like 39 of his movies, most of them starring roles but also his great ensemble classics and a few of his early villain roles, like HOUSE OF WAX with Vincent Price and 4 FOR TEXAS with Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin. I’m pretty sure I’m not going to stop until I have the entire Bronsonography on disc.

  762. Shoot: In the update of Seagalogy I reviewed those movie releases of True Justice, because it wasn’t available as a season of a show at that time. Of course they would wait until right after my deadline.

    You’re right, they released them out of order. It wasn’t a big deal but you notice that in the second one released one of the characters is gone and then in the third one you see him leave, and a few other things like that. The correct order is Deadly Crossing, Dark Vengeance, Street Wars.

  763. I don´t have that many bronsons in my collection. I´ve got the essentials, give or take a few.My Bronson collecting has been sadly neglected on my part. My only excuse for that is that a lot of his movies are impossible to find In Sweden, because the dvd releases has been out of print or sold out. And I´ve never actually bothered looking any further than my usual sites.

    Except for that rubbish region 1 release of DEATH WISH 2. I only bought the R1 disc because it was the only I could find. A censored Bronson is better than no Bronson at all.
    I might have found HARD TIMES , but no money to buy it with.

  764. Pegsman – looks like a great site for me. To lure swedish customers they don´t charge for the delivery.Thanks for the tip!

  765. I sense that the updated Seagalogy can be a good TRUE JUSTICE companion

  766. Shoot: I bought the Australian DVD of DEATH WISH 2 because it was the only one that was both widescreen and uncensored. It came as a double feature with the first one, which I already had, but the Australian transfer was superior, oddly enough. So maybe look into that.

  767. I think the european dvd is uncut and in widescreen and they have it at play.com pretty cheap.
    They also seem to have all the other Bronsons I miss in my collection. They are very inexpensive as well.
    But thanks for the tip,anyway
    I´m off to watch MR MAJESTYK on dvd for the first time. I´ve only seen the pan/scan version on VHS. The swedish dvd also has the words DON´T FUCK WITH BRONSON printed on the disc. It does not say anything else,nor is it necessary…

  768. I’m hoping Vern approaches ACT OF VALOR from a heavily Seagalogical angle. As an action movie, that’s what it deserves.

    Almost every professional review I’ve read has had the same exact 3 and a half talking points, the same exact 1 and a half compliments (the awesome personnel recovery sequence), and similar overall assessments that result in official grades ranging from wishy-washy to negative, even though most seem to agree that the action [in an action movie] is really good. It’s good action porn, at least. Maybe Fred Topel will agree.

    I don’t get it. That’s like critics saying, “This comedy movie had a lot of great jokes. I laughed a lot. I give this movie 1 1/2 stars out of 4.”

  769. Really nice to have seen MR MAJESTYK on my 46 inch TV in the correct aspectratio. Its just as good as I remembered it. Great streamlined story with entertaining characters, good buildups towards the action scenes and that asskicking theme!
    And every actionmovie automatically gets better for having shotguns in them.

  770. EVERYTHING that Bronson did from the 60’s to the mid 70’s is worth seeing in it’s correct aspect ration. He was one of the most consistent muthafuckas of all time during those years.

  771. Ratio lol @me typing ration because I’m also playing MGS: Portable Ops right now.

  772. Shotguns in action movies?! Do we want them?! Yes, we bloody well want to!!

    Broddie – I have peace Walker on my MGS HD collection. Havent tried it yet. Is it any good?

  773. By the way, has any one of you guys read James Lee Burkes detective novels about ex-cop, current alcoholic Dave Robichaux and takes place in New Orleans. Heavens Prisoners turned into a pretty good movie with Alec Baldwin. But the book is unbelievable! I read that one and another, the title escapes me, but it was fuckin good. In the best Chandler/Hammett tradition.Hardboiled shit.

    I was thinking of that when reading about how the book Mr Majestyk came about, it was written after the movie came out.

  774. Heavens Prisoners is still one of the greatest novels I have ever read.

  775. Shoot – I wouldn’t know tbh I just bought the first one this weekend cause I found it for $6 and needed something to pop in the PSP during the commute to school. It’s pretty alright though and I could only imagine PW to be better since it had more years for the engine to be tweaked & polished and stars the greatest character in the series; Big Boss.

  776. I see us Brit geeks are getting avengers under it’s nifty new title of avengers assemble – due to the 60s tv show, I guess.

    I was hoping they’d go with avengers: redemption but never mind.

  777. Did you see the british poster? Why is Captain America a giant on it?

  778. CJ- I’d be more concerned with why this no one is wearing their mask.
    Avengers Assemble does seem a bit clunky. MIGHTY AVENGERS would have been better perhaps.

  779. Yeah, but it’ll be worth it if you end up with a ticket stub that says AVENGERS ASS on it.

    Get it? Ass.

  780. Reading “avengers ass” just then made me think of those leaked scarjo pictures.

    To be honest though, most things make me think of those pictures.

    Gotta say, i’m puzzled by the name change if it is indeed connected to the 60s show. It’s not like the show is high profile in the least.

  781. I’ve taken a quickie assignment on another continent, near the equator. Another guy was supposed to do it, but my regional vaccinations are more current, so instead I got priority-recommended to go back to the fucking jungle, lucky me. Oh well.  Fuck this cold March breeze nonsense, at least.

    Scheduled for to me finish before ActionFest, barely, so hopefully next time I check in with you all, it’ll be from Gina Carano’s VIP room in Asheville, NC.  

    She’s the first person I’ve ever wanted to both fight and, uh, you know, cuddle with.  Feel free in the next 5 weeks to brainstorm for me some magic words to make this happen.  Gotta have goals.  


    Vern, everyone, may your Leap Day be leisurely and your March be profitable.  Adios.  

  782. Karlos – That show is high profile with the people who grew up on it and said people are part of the general movie going public too and more than likely NOT browsing online movie sites. I know my aunt who is turning 50 soon took me to see that stupid movie with Ralph Fiennes and Uma Thurman cause she loved the show so much as a kid and she’s a dominican american.

    I can’t even imagine how many brits from her generation feel about that show still. Though I do think it becomes a moot point once you see the poster and notice that it’s a bunch of comic book guys on it and not some dapper guy and a girl in black leather (which to their credit they do have). Then again there are people that would never see the poster I guess and just read the marquee or whatever.

  783. Anyway I think the poster is horrible. Such a big budget and highly (not by me though) anticipated movie and they best they could do is a horrendous photoshop hack job? They couldn’t even attempt to get these guys in a room together for a pic? should’ve just gone the painted route then.

    That shit looks so goofy and ridiculous because it’s a horrible photoshop and yeah the fact that the masked guys are maskless is pretty damn annoying. We know Cap and Iron Man and even fucking Hawkeye partly cause of the iconography of their head gear. Not because they’re being played by that guy from that oscar winning movie and Robert Downey Asswipe.

  784. Broddie – I dunno, 20 years ago that might’ve been the case but there’s no way the title is going to confuse anyone now.

    I’m a fan of the comics and the 60s TV show, btw. Didn’t want to sound like I was being dismissive of it.

    And yes, the posters are awful. It’s like whoever made them was embarrassed to associated with such geeky things and is trying to play the whole “superhero” thing down.

  785. Damn! My weeklong marathon of Charles Bronson-movies just keeps on giving! Not only are the good ones still as good as they always are and always will be. But the ones I remember being shit , turns out being quite good. And the ones I have not seen before were really great!

    People seem to have a problem with COLD SWEAT. I think its great. No high body count or anything like that, just Bronson bein a stoic badass motherfucker throughout the film. My favourite part of the movie is when he´s being surrounded by the bad guys in his own home and one of them kicks him in the leg. Bronson just walks it off, knowing when to choose his battles and he says “I´ll talk to you later” Good shit.

  786. “We know Cap and Iron Man and even fucking Hawkeye partly cause of the iconography of their head gear.”
    Well this Hawkeye doesn’t have a mask cos it’s based off the Ultimates version, so that’s more understandable.
    New Trailer:
    ScarJo can “persuade” me to “come in” anytime, if you know I mean!

    (I mean have sex with her)

    I was surprised it wasn’t so much a “laying out the plot” trailer, which we usually get as our third one, but the focus on the team no getting along and having a challenge is interesting. Also, anyone else get the impression Widow was fighting Hawkeye in that shot of her attacking someone? Possibly a Hawkeye impersonator(a Skrull perhaps or LokEye?)?

  787. TRUE JUSTICE is impossible to follow on dvd here in Swden since Deadly Crossing and Street wars has been released but not Dark Vengeance!! What kind of fucked up logic is that?? I have no idea how to watch this shit now!! I seriously need Verns updated Seagalogy to be able to comprehend the fuckedupdness of this shit!

  788. Mouth: Clearly, you need to appeal to her competitiveness. Pull a reverse-gender Red Sonja on her and say that you refuse to bed down with a woman who can’t beat you in hand-to-hand combat.

  789. Holy crap, check out the Synopsis for Refn and Ryan Goslings next movie after “Drive”, “Only God Forgives”:
    “When his addicted sibling gets involved in a murder and gets tangled up with a cop who calls himself the Angel of Vengeance, Gosling’s character, who is proficient in mixed martial arts, is compelled to seek revenge on behalf of his mother. There is swordplay, and a lot of slicing and dicing.”

    That sounds amazing on multiple levels. Gosling killing people with swords? I’m in.

  790. Have Refn found his Bronson in Gosling?

  791. http://darkmaze.com/ninjathemissionforce/003.html
    “The Evil Ninja Empire wasn’t always like this. For one thing, it used to be called The Good Samaritan Ninja Empire!”

  792. Orson Welles is good in this episode. He´s struggling with becoming a ninja…

  793. Random thought about something you never see in movies/tv: people being “murdered in their sleep”. The phrase is relatively common, but no one is ever actually shown being killed unwittingly while sleeping. At most, they’ll be in bed and are WOKEN UP by their murderer, but no hitman ever just plugs someone who’s snoozing, even though I find the idea of that MUCH more unsettling than being woken up for it.

  794. Weren´t they murdered in their sleep in MANHUNTER? GLIMMER MAN? Do I really have such shitty memory?

  795. I take back my previous statement….

  796. Y’know…technically Freddy Krueger kills people in their sleep…

  797. Yeah, but the victims aren’t “unwittingly” killed.

  798. That actually reminds me of GTA:SAN ANDREAS where you could break into peoples homes and murder them while sleeping. Why they removed that fun lighthearted sideactivity for GTA 4.I´ll never know….

  799. so last night I discovered that I was missing a bunch of graphical effects in Skyrim, so I updated my drivers and now they’re all there

    and holy shit, the game looks so much better now, now only was fire missing, but so was mist in the dungeons and caves and cobwebs and all sorts of cool stuff

    damn, why didn’t anyone tell me about this sooner? oh well, I’m not even close to being finished with the game yet

  800. Wait, there was no fire? So…what were the Dragons breathing at you? What did flame based destruction magic look like?

  801. it didn’t look like much of anything

    see, I did kinda notice flames were missing, but since I assumed that was the only thing I just let it slide

  802. So I have jury duty this week, and when my trial got postponed for a day, I walked right from the courthouse to the movie theater to catch a matinee of ACTS OF VALOR: HEADSHOTS OF GLORY. And I gotta say, I liked it a lot. Some of the action is pretty choppy, but it’s balanced out with some slick POV work. More importantly, all the money shots are effective, and most of the visual confusion can be written off as the legitimate disorientation of combat. There were car chases and snipings and helicopter strafings and speedboats with gatling guns on them and what looked like a submarine with wings. The movie was way bloodier (even delving into some discrete torture porn for a second) and more profane than I expected, which was nice. I miss hearing casual F-bombs in the theater. I also thought the SEALs did a decent job with the acting, certainly better than most actors would do at HALO jumping. (Also, you know what’s sweet? HALO jumping.) And I know it’s manipulative bullshit but I felt that the heartstring-pulling stuff worked. I mean, we’re talking dead soldiers who never get to meet their unborn children here. It’s not subtle, but who are you to say that shit’s not sad? SPOILER: That shit’s sad.

    My only real beef was that the explosive MacGuffin was built up to be this huge fucking doomsday device, and while what it does is pretty cool from a visual standpoint, I was let down by it’s lack of destructiveness. Rabbit’s Foot it is not.

    Other than that though VALORIOUS ACTS had an appealingly hardscrabble Nu Image kind of vibe, which was nice to be able to see in the theater at noon on a weekday after doing my civic duty. If all propaganda was this entertaining I’d probably be a Republican.

  803. oh say can you ROOOOOOOOOOOOOCK!!!

  804. Oh man, guys, this is as old as internet news gets (like, 1997 old), but I just discovered the TIMECUBE.


    Some of the ideas seem based in quantum theory and stuff, but this guy is TOTALLY fucked. And really hateful and bigoted besides. But if you can prove him wrong, he’ll give you $10,000. I tried to send him an email saying that he proved himself wrong and is entitled to the 10k, but I got blocked by his spam filter. When I tried to verify that I was human it rejected me again anyways.

    From rationalwiki.org:

    “Time Cube is comparable to many other green ink websites for frothing lunacy value, but was one of the first to come to Internet fame. It should be noted that since the site makes no rational sense, it is not subject to the stopped clock phenomenon, and is not even wrong.

    No one really understands it, especially since the website looks as though it was translated from English to Chinese and back to English by someone who speaks only Basque. Nobody, except possibly Gene Ray (and that is not guaranteed), has a frikkin’ clue what Time Cube is about or what impact it’s supposed to have on our society should we all accept it. No one knows why a four-sided figure should be called a cube, nor does anyone have any idea how a day can actually be 96 hours long. There is however a vague idea in “educated stupid”, but it’s just the same drivel any other crank spouts about being persecuted by the “establishment” in a somewhat pithier phrasing. In fact, Time Cube can really make your head hurt and imbue the reader with the urge to lie down. It’s a great source for random quotes, however.”

  805. Stu, in Missoury Breaks Marlon Brando wakes up AFTER Jack Nicholson’s just cut his throat.

  806. that Time Cube thing is pretty darn old, no offense, I mean I even remember seeing an interview with the Time Cube guy on the Tech-TV talkshow “Unscrewed with Martin Sargent” years before I even had the internet (and he was clearly just some old mentally ill guy, it was more sad than funny)

  807. I never heard of this Time cube shit before in my entire life, sounds kinda intruiging in a fucked up way

  808. Griff, as I said, it is as old as internet memes get. It was first posted in 1997! So no, no offense taken! That doesn’t mean ShootMcKay and I have heard about it….plus his really hateful race speak doesn’t come to the forefront until Obama runs for president much more recently.

    also been having a blast with sciencedefeated.wordpress.com, though I suspect this guy is simply a brilliant satirist.

    I once worked for this wacky fundamentalist guy who disproved evolution using the most incredible logic. He said that every time he opens a jar of peanut butter, he only finds peanut butter inside. If evolution were a viable theory, every once in a while he would open the jar and an entirely new species would leap out at him! ???!?!?!?!

  809. I’ve got another hilarious bit of awful anime dub from the 90’s for you guys


    this is a dubbed SONG from the anime Bubblegum Crisis

  810. It continues to amaze me just how good of a show Spartacus is. For a series that seems so silly on the surface, with all those tits and the CGI blood and gratuitous full frontal male nudity. I don’t blame anyone who watches a trailer thinking this is probably crap. But there is no other show on television that makes me cheer out loud several times per episode like Spartacus does.

    Just in this Friday’s episode we had Ashur, a dirty scheming bastard that I’m supposed to hate, proving himself against the Romans and me rooting for him. Glaber getting back on top by being absolutely ruthless, another villain I thought I hated but who I find myself cheering for. Spartacus and Gannicus fighting, the obligatory battle between two superheroes who are on the same side but have a big fight anyway based on a misunderstanding.

    I just love it. All of it.

    Everyone who’s not watching it yet, start now and be prepared to invest a few episodes before it really gets going. Once it does, you’ll be glad you took the effort. So very, very glad.

  811. Griff- David Bowie really let himself go, huh?

  812. it kinda sounds like if Bowie literally went through a “fat Elvis” period and became a fatass

  813. From a swede´s point of view, these are really bizarre news…


  814. Arnold’s Japanese commercials > Nic Cage’s


    Arnold as Ultraman FTW.

  815. War of the Arrows – Not sure if it’s been mentioned here before, but it’s badass. Starts a little slow, but once things go bad and the protagonist starts hunting down (and getting hunted by) the bad guys it’s awesome. It’s kinda like a gunslinger film, except with arrows.

  816. so I just read that the release date for Bioshock Infinite is October 16

    maaaaaaaaan, what the hell? that’s almost a whole year away! (well 8 months to be exact)

    I’m sick of waiting for that game, just release it already

  817. IGN just posted their top 20 movie gunfights, and while you can argue there’s some omissions (no Sergio Leone), there were a few good ones I’ve not seen before. Is the rest of LEGACY OF RAGE as good as its ending? And does the villain wear that bow tie for the majority of the film?

  818. Mike A, I feel the same way. Spartacus is so sleazy, gratuitous, and pornographic that I get a certain amount of cognitive dissonance about it. It’s a legitimately great show but it’s done in such a trashy, albeit entertaining, way that I always find myself needing to make excuses for it.

    It’s an awesome show, is what I’m trying to say. It’s both legitimately good and totally trashy.

  819. Looking up the real history of the uprising you can see some interesting things to come. The logical season finale should a pretty awesome battle given how daring it was real life.

  820. Casey – good to hear there are more fans of the show out there. A lot of people I know refuse to watch it because it looks so silly and trashy, which, as you said, it totally is. But then it’s also incredibly well written and has some amazing drama, which you only realize when you are well into the first season.

    Stu – I have not watched Kubrick’s film in a long time and am avoiding wikipedia, just so I might still be surprised about where the story is going. Of course I know how it ends, but (hopefully) that’s still a long way off.

  821. holy fucking shit you guys



    this is fucking awesome! I had a feeling that this would happen later this year, but now that it’s a reality I can’t wait!

  822. oh man, I am so exciting, this news makes me want to dance

  823. Eh, I’m good with the DVD boxset of the four I got in December for a tenner.

  824. Me too, I’m still buying DVD’s more than blu rays because they’re cheaper, even though I do have an HD tv and a blu ray player. The difference is just not significant enough for me. And even in those rare cases where it is significant, you forget you’re watching a slightly prettier picture after ten minutes anyway.

  825. Yeah, Spartacus has some of the best dialogue and characters in television.

    I don’t want to get into a tirade, but had someone told me that I would greatly prefer a Starz softcore porn about Spartacus over an HBO produced Game of Thrones I would have called them a liar. How Spartacus is able to have such engaging characters, fascinating dialogue, complicated plots and themes, while Game of Thrones manages to just have every scene set in a tent as a parade of dour zombies mumble their lines is beyond me.

  826. Bah! I already own the Indy boxset + the fourth one seperatly. I also have the vhs boxset that includes a couple of episodes of Young Indy…so I´m not excited about the blu-ray release.

    I agree with Mike that you´re forgetting that it´s blu-ray after awhile when you start watching.. UNLESS! They´re bullet-proof as my LETHAL WEAPON bluray boxset claim they are!

  827. Jareth Cutestory

    March 5th, 2012 at 11:37 am

    I went to IMDB to see if this SPARTACUS tv show is the one with Xena in it. I learned some neat stuff.

    Apparently Xena was asked by Peter Jackson to audition for the role of “Galadriel” in LORD OF THE RINGS, but declined because her pregnancy would stall production.

    I don’t know what a “Galadreil” is. Maybe one of the talking trees.

    She also turned down the role of “Ellen Tigh” on BATTLESTAR GALACTICA. Seems Xena turns down a lot of roles.

    She also studied acting at the school founded by the guy who played the Cancer Guy on X-FILES. Won’t know how well she did at the school until I see footage of her dragging on a cigarette like she’s making love to it.

    Best quote: “Treat everyone the same until you find out they’re an idiot.” There’s no mention of where this quote was made, but I like to think it was in her wedding vows.