Since I was one of the elite few to sort of recommend HALLOWEEN REMAKE II I thought it was my duty to inform you that I less-sort-of-recommend the new unrated director’s cut than I do the theatrical one. The new cut is quite a bit different, but mostly what’s added is unpleasantness to make you not like the characters or enjoy the experience of watching the movie. There are several scenes and extensions added so that Laurie – who had a sweet friendship with fellow survivor Annie in the theatrical cut – is angry at Annie and they’re always fighting. Most of the new material involves Laurie screaming, crying and swearing, getting in arguments with Annie, then screaming FUUUUCKKKK! She also has a screaming fit at her therapist (Margot Kidder) and calls some beer she’s drinking in her bedroom “my new best friend.” (more…)
Posts Tagged ‘Tyler Mane’
Halloween Remake II Unrated Director’s Cut
Wednesday, January 13th, 2010
Halloween Remake II
Friday, September 4th, 2009
MTV: And you won’t be coming up with ideas for “Halloween” sequels on the tour bus?
Zombie: No. I have no plans on watching them or making them. [He laughs.] My movie has a beginning, a middle and an end — and then I am done. Anything that comes after that? It will not involve me.
Writer/director Robert Zombie returns with the sequel to his remake of HALLOWEEN from two years ago. Mr. Zombie showed some promise with his HOUSE OF THE ONE THOUSAND CORPSES/DEVIL’S REJECTS movies. Then they hired him to remake HALLOWEEN, which seemed to me like a better idea than hiring whoever else they were gonna hire. I liked some of what he was trying to do, but the movie was a mess and made me question whether he really knows what he’s doing.
But he had done his remake, time to go back to what he was good at, so he was working on some kind of biker or wrestler movie or something and then… dropped that because they gave him some money to do this. I know he previously said he wouldn’t even watch a sequel, but this is different, he figured out a way to make it work: he gave Michael Meyers a beard. (more…)
Rob Zombie’s Halloween Remake
Friday, March 9th, 2007I don’t think I’m gonna surprise anybody by saying that Halloween is one of my favorite horror movies. Like alot of people I watch it once or twice a year. Usually the regular version, sometimes that TV version where John Carpenter shot extra footage of Dr. Loomis dealing with young Michael Meyers in the sanatorium.
So I’ve watched this movie with alot of different people and more often than not, when it gets to the part where Michael steals a car to bust out of the joint, somebody laughs and says “How does he know how to drive? He’s been locked up since he was a kid!” I love it because they think they’ve outsmarted the movie, but they’re wrong. Later when Loomis is told Meyers doesn’t know how to drive he says, “Well he was doing very well last night!”
Turns out Rob Zombie (born Robert Puppydogsandbutterflies) disagrees. He’s the writer-director of the Halloween remake coming August 31st, and he just told MTV that his Michael Meyers doesn’t drive. “[Meyers in the station wagon] always bothered me. They always play that off like someone must have given him lessons, but you know no one gave him lessons! He’s in a maximum-security prison! So, no, he doesn’t drive.”
Sounds logical, if you’re into logic. But it means we lose that mystery and the whole tense section of the movie about Laurie seeing a mysterious car follow her around. You never get a look at him inside the car, but a careful use of the pause button shows you that when he’s walking around in broad daylight he’s wearing the mask. So he’s probaly wearing it while driving too, and that freaks me out. I will miss it.
The MTV article reveals many other changes from the classic story. Original Michael Meyers stole his mask from a store off camera, this one apparently has had it since childhood. Original Dr. Loomis was the guy cursed with knowing what Meyers was up to so he had to figure out a way to stop him, this one is in it to sell books. Original Laurie Strode was the most uptight of her group of friends, the new one is not quite as conservative (maybe a good idea since “sex kills” has become such a cliche since the original Halloween). (more…)
How to Make a Monster (2001)
Saturday, January 1st, 2005Some of you will wonder why I choose to watch this kind of crap. The answer is because of the French.
This one is from a series of movies made for cable called Creature Features. They have special effecting by Stan Winston (director of A GNOME NAMED GNORM) and are all based on the premises or titles of old movies produced by Samuel Z. Arkoff. They got SHE-MONSTER, DAN AYCKROYD VS. SPIDERMAN and many others. The one I’m waiting for is actually TEENAGE CAVEMAN directed by Larry Clark, the pervert who did KIDS and BULLY and ANOTHER DAY IN PARADISE where the main kid wears his pants so low you can see his fuckin pubes. Jesus, Larry!
I read somewhere that TEENAGE CAVEMAN is basically a Larry Clark picture with a monster jumpin out at the end, and that sounds like just about the best thing you could possibly find on cable. You see this is all based on the Auteur Theory invented by the people of France, which states that if Larry Clark directed one movie, and you liked it, you might want to see his remake of TEENAGE CAVEMAN. But that one doesn’t have a release date yet, and I only have illegal basic cable, not illegal expanded cable. So using that same European principle, I found myself watching HOW TO MAKE A MONSTER as a TEENAGE CAVEMAN warmup. This one is directed by George Huang, and due to my keen eye and street smarts I remembered that this was the same dude who directed a pretty good independent picture called SWIMMING WITH SHARKS which I guess was pretty popular at the time and probaly plays on Bravo occasionally.
Anyway, I’m betting HOW TO MAKE A MONSTER has no connection to the original, even though I haven’t seen it. The reason I think this one is different is because it’s about fuckin video games. And nobody cared about that shit back then because a) it hadn’t been invented yet and b) people had better things to do, like runnin numbers, doing kitschy dances, taking naps, etc. (more…)
