As I promised before Halloween, I’ve continued scouring Tubi for potential Slasher Search material. It’s been a struggle so far. Most of the things I’ve clicked on turn out to be hard to get through and easy to give up on. For example I tried to watch one called HAUNTED TRAIL because it was directed by A RAGE IN HARLEM star Robin Givens and I thought that was interesting that she directed a horror movie, but I lost patience before anything happened. When I don’t have to pick out a finite number of tapes or discs and carry them home my remote finger is itchier.
So for now here’s one that I actually found on DVD, and it’s not available streaming, but it’s an obscurity from the aughts that seems very Tubi-appropriate to me. HACK! (2007) fits squarely and stupidly into the meta-slasher tradition even though it’s a full eleven years after SCREAM. The characters keep talking about horror movies, and the killer(s) is/are trying to make one. But please note the scene where a guy swears he saw a scary clown in the woods and they ask if he looked like Captain Spaulding, explaining that that’s a character from HOUSE OF 1,000 CORPSES and then explaining that that’s a Rob Zombie movie. It’s a reminder that this is, what – three horror cycles after SCREAM? But they don’t seem to have learned anything substantial from any of them. (read the rest of this shit…)
Now we come not to the end of this Ronny Yu series, or to its peak, but at least to a watershed moment. If you read this whole series, or at least the BRIDE OF CHUCKY review, you don’t need to ask the question “how the hell does the guy who made THE BRIDE WITH WHITE HAIR end up making FREDDY VS. JASON?”
But at the risk of reptitition, let’s run through it again real quick. For starters, Yu had been making horror movies for 20 years (THE TRAIL, THE OCCUPANT, MUMMY DEAREST, BLESS THIS HOUSE), so that part wasn’t out of the blue. Then in the ‘90s two things happened: the new wave of Hong Kong cinema became popular around the world, and many Hong Kong filmmakers began to worry about what would happen to artistic freedom once colonial rule ended in 1997. That combination of circumstances led filmmakers like John Woo, Ringo Lam and Tsui Hark, as well actors like Jackie Chan, Chow Yun Fat, Michelle Yeoh, Donnie Yen and Sammo Hung, to start finding opportunities in Hollywood. (read the rest of this shit…)
is when BLADE came out and changed both cinema and humanity forever. But I already wrote the definitive review of that so here I am reviewing DEAD MAN ON CAMPUS.
It turns out maybe the comedies that come out in August are not essential to a summer movie retrospective. That’s a lesson I’m learning. I actually saw DEAD MAN ON CAMPUS at the time, but I realize now that I was conflating my memory of it with IDLE HANDS. I knew it was a different movie, but I thought it was another supernatural teen horror comedy. It was about half an hour in before I realized oh shit, he’s not gonna turn into a zombie. This is that movie where they find out their college has an obscure rule that if your roommate commits suicide then they have to give you straight As (just go with it) so they try to find an unstable roommate and push him to the brink. The kind of movie that should just have a disclaimer and a 1-800 number running across the screen throughout like a watermark on a critic’s screener. (read the rest of this shit…)
Recently I realized I missed one of the early Isaac Florentine movies, a goofy John-Woo-inspired bank robber story starring Antonio Sabato Jr. (and Sr.), Shannon Lee, Amy Smart and Lochlyn Munro. So I reviewed it for my column on Daily Grindhouse, which is now called America’s Got Punching (formerly Journey to Battle Island).
I wonder if they considered Leslie Nielsen for THE BOONDOCK SAINTS?
FROM THE OUTLAW VAULTS: I never get to take Martin Luther King Day off at my job, but I’m gonna simulate taking a day off here on outlawvern.com by posting an old review of a Leslie Nielsen movie you never heard of. This is a review I came across on my hard drive that I wrote two years ago shortly after Nielsen’s death, but never quite finished or posted. It’s not a movie I’m gonna go back and rewatch in order to complete the review, but I didn’t want to waste all that typing, either. So here it is.
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Under normal circumstances I wouldn’t find myself renting some 2001 Leslie Nielsen movie I never heard of. But the poor guy died recently and I happened to notice this one was written by Billy Bob Thornton (with his partner Tom Epperson and some guy who was in SPIDERBABY), so I wanted to see what the deal was.
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Recent commentary and jibber-jabber
VERN on The Rivals of Amziah King: “SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER – Ryan – When she locks the guy into the honey thing it’s shocking, but understandable -…” Nov 11, 22:08
Ryan on The Rivals of Amziah King: ““and the trailers really couldn’t communicate what it is. I’m not sure I could either! And it’s exciting to see…” Nov 11, 19:32
Lorin A Kozlowski on The End of Oak Street: “The detail I would like to share about this movie is afterwards, my girlfriend said “Weird performance from the fake…” Nov 11, 18:01
Kim Cardassian on The End of Oak Street: “Literally the only time McGreggor’s American accent has been halfway acceptable was in Fargo season three, where the whole point…” Nov 11, 15:40
Franchise Fred on The Rivals of Amziah King: “This was definitely the best thing I’d seen in a while when I went to a screening over the summer.…” Nov 11, 15:07
Franchise Fred on The End of Oak Street: “Toxic, not decomposing but just you’ve seen exponentially more. Of course my list is a tad longer than two. I…” Nov 11, 12:23
VERN on Superman (2025): “I really don’t think the box office is the reason for the change. As stupid as everyone in charge of…” Nov 11, 10:25
Alex R on The End of Oak Street: “Loved this in the theater, even with Ewan McGregor’s busted accent. And I agree that he’s otherwise great. This is…” Nov 11, 08:05
Jason on The End of Oak Street: “MaggieMayPie – Yeah, I thought so, but it was a kind of blink-and-you-miss-it gag, which somehow made it even more…” Nov 11, 05:15
Toxic on The End of Oak Street: “Fred, I guess I’d add Talladega Nights, Bad Santa and the John Wick movies to Walk Hard and Fury Road,…” Nov 11, 04:34
Franchise Fred on The End of Oak Street: “Toxic, yes. I can remember in detail every single movie I Watched until the year 2000, even straight to video…” Nov 11, 00:15
RRA on The End of Oak Street: “I respect any “family friendly” movies willing to off kids. This was solid.” Nov 10, 23:11
Knadler on The End of Oak Street: “Also, Brian sucks and deserved to get wrecked.” Nov 10, 18:50
Knadler on The End of Oak Street: “This one definitely deserved a bigger audience, it was a good time. That ending being hilariously bad was icing on…” Nov 10, 18:33
Toxic on The End of Oak Street: “I saw it in the theater, enjoyed it, and if it weren’t for Vern’s review I would have completely forgotten…” Nov 10, 18:25