SUITABLE FLESH is the latest from Joe Lynch, a director who has a certain credibility in my book because his debut was a DTV sequel. I was mixed-positive on WRONG TURN 2: DEAD END (2007) and wrote some things in the review that I now consider out of line, but I definitely respect its joyful spirit toward sequelizing and in many ways outdoing a studio movie I really wasn’t that into. Since then Lynch has directed a comedy that got taken away from him, the Salma Hayek action vehicle EVERLY, the gory outbreak-in-an-office-building movie MAYHEM (which I liked but apparently didn’t review) and the Frank Grillo/Anthony Mackie car chase buddy movie POINT BLANK. But now he’s returned to horror with a sacred task: to manifest an unfinished project of the late great Stuart Gordon.
I didn’t realize it from the name, but it’s one of those unfulfilled ambitions we read about for years – here’s an example of Gordon talking it up while promoting STUCK in 2008, but using the title of the H.P. Lovecraft story it’s based on, “The Thing on the Doorstep.” The script is by Gordon’s regular collaborator Dennis Paoli (RE-ANIMATOR, FROM BEYOND, THE PIT AND THE PENDULUM, CASTLE FREAK, DAGON) and it’s produced by RE-ANIMATOR/FROM BEYOND/CASTLE FREAK star Barbara Crampton. (read the rest of this shit…)
This year I celebrated Halloween by taking the day off of work and watching a witch-themed triple feature. This is not something I ever thought I’d do, because I’ve always had that issue with historical witch movies where it kinda bothers me to pretend there’s a such thing as witches, since that’s the superstitious bullshit that real life tyrants used as an excuse to torture and murder many innocent people in this country and elsewhere. But there were a couple witch-related movies I’d been thinking I’d like to rewatch, and at the same time I’d been thinking about my late mother, who loved to dress as a witch every Halloween. She painted her face green and glued on a warty latex nose with spirit gum. Some of the younger kids in the neighborhood were terrified of her, but she got a kick out of it. So I dedicate this witch-a-thon to her.
I chose to view them in order of when they take place: first Rob Eggers’ THE WITCH (1630s), then George A. Romero’s SEASON OF THE WITCH (1970s), and finally Robert Zombie’s THE LORDS OF SALEM (twenty-teens). (read the rest of this shit…)
I didn’t even realize THE LORDS OF SALEM was coming out this week until somebody told me. I never saw an ad or saw the trailer play before another movie. When I saw the Anchor Bay logo at the beginning I thought, “That’s weird, why is the new Rob Zombie movie being distributed by the company that only does barely-released-or-advertised horror like HATCHET or BEHIND THE MASK?” After the movie was over it kinda made more sense.
There are many things I liked about this one. Oddly enough I like that it stars Zombie’s wife, Sheri Moon Zombie. She was a major character in all his other movies, but in this one she’s the center of the whole story and often alone on screen. I like that because it’s unusual to see an adult, tattooed, dreadlocked white lady as a lead. You see ’em around but they don’t usually make movies about them. Nice to have something different sometimes. (read the rest of this shit…)
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Recent commentary and jibber-jabber
CJ Holden on Drive-Away Dolls: “I was so damn excited for that movie and then it just came and went and I didn’t even notice…” Apr 18, 00:05
Kaplan on The Loose Canon: Blade: “Got to see this one on the big screen today. Some thoughts. -The screenplay is strictly function (sample dialogue: “You…” Apr 17, 19:47
Dustin on Drive-Away Dolls: “The way Denzel delivered “take thy face hence!” is seared into my brain.” Apr 17, 19:03
JTS on Drive-Away Dolls: “I think “insubstantial” is a good descriptor for this one. It’s fun enough, though. I didn’t find it *as* funny…” Apr 17, 15:10
jojo on The Voyeurs: “From my vantage point it looked like you were the troll, so be mindful of that if it’s something that…” Apr 17, 14:51
VERN on The Voyeurs: “From my vantage point it looked like you were the troll, so be mindful of that if it’s something that…” Apr 17, 13:49
jojo on The Voyeurs: “Great… I forgot the site uses regular html, thus setting myself up for another scathing last word.” Apr 17, 13:14
jojo on The Voyeurs: “Name calling, blanket shaming, AND spelling errors! I’m surprised it’s taken this long as I’ve made several. I guess sometimes…” Apr 17, 13:10
Johnny Utah on The Voyeurs: “The only thing that made me laugh more than MM’s comment is Vern’s comment And the only thing that made…” Apr 17, 11:12
Mr. Majestyk on The Voyeurs: “THE VOYEURS? Never heard of it. Is there a review or something you could point me to?” Apr 17, 10:28
VERN on The Voyeurs: “If anybody has seen the movie THE VOYEURS let me know what you thought” Apr 17, 10:05
Muh on The Voyeurs: “Apparently “coincidentally” has as meaning to Jojo as 40 year old examples that have nothing to do with the talked…” Apr 17, 08:47
jojo on The Voyeurs: “Coincidently, about an hour ago I was chatting with my co-worker of Palestinian descent who was lamenting their life seeming…” Apr 17, 06:55
Aktion on The Voyeurs: “Jojo probably doesn’t believe in forum moderators either. “They just take the hit for the bigger guys” is…well, kinda dumb.…” Apr 17, 03:06
Muh on The Voyeurs: “Ha ha…adorable. There’s a double for ya!” Apr 17, 02:51
VERN’S “I RECOMMEND THE SHIT OUT OF THIS PRODUCT” CORNER: