Well you know what gang, I have been putting up with these AFI and BFI top 100 lists since, well, at least since several months after I got out of prison. I have seen the AFI Top 100 greatest movies ever made. I have seen the AFI top 100 funniest movies about men dressed as women. I have seen the BFI top one hundred best movies that are not funny of all time in Britain. And etc.
And by the way as a tangentally speaking, which do you think is more annoying, americans who only watch anime or americans who only watch british tv shows. I mean face it guys just having a british accent does not necessarily make a joke funnier. I don’t care what some jackass with a pony tail and and knee high boots says red dwarf is not something to brag about. We had that same show in the us, it was called Homeboys From Outer Space and even UPN wouldn’t keep it on for more than three seasons. (read the rest of this shit…)

First off I would like to thank the two (2) of you who complimented me on my column last week, an autobiographical work which I have been working on for months as a piece of my memoirs but decided to post in my column. Of course I am not abandoning my home, the world of film Writing, however this is an example of the works I hope to pour my blood sweat and etc. into in the coming months and years. This is very important to me and yes there were two of you who mentioned this to me, this important new step in my life, and I do mean that literally. As in, one more than one, but two less then four, if my calculations are correct. thanks alot guys.
Going in I didn’t know WHAT to expect. A remake? A sequel? The ads made it look silly and ridiculous. Like not so much a remake as a big screen adaptation of the Shaft theme song.
Well I bet the one or two of you who actually care about me are wondering, what the fuck happened to Vern. Where is his column. Why is he late. Did that Jet Li movie really make him so sad. What a puss.
Those of you motherfuckers who read me regularly know that my column this week is about the great pimp novelist Iceberg Slim and the attempts by “hollywood” to turn his autobiography into a major motion picture starring Ice Cube. Well shit, if I knew about this movie I might not have been worried. Even if Pimp: The Story of My Life: The Movie turns out to be a bust, we do got this excellent documentary which also looks into the seductive, charismatic and fucked up world of the pimping industry.
Well hell man I know what your thinking and I can’t really blame you. But seriously man it is not what you think. I have never rented a gay porno. It is the ’90s I have nothing against gay pornos but personally just have not rented them before. Remember prison rape is not a homosexual act it is a predatory act of violence. not that I am into that either but just to clarify.
Well if there is one thing I’d like to see more of coming out of Hollywood, it’s #1: Billy Jack movies, and #2, elbow grease.

















