"I take orders from the Octoboss."

Lets get our minds off shit by watching some trailers

I’m optimistic about tomorrow, but nervous. Let’s not think about it. Here are some trailers.

First up: Wong Kar Wai’s THE GRANDMASTERS, the other movie about Ip Man. (Sorry, no English subtitles.)

Beautiful, right? Tony Leung of HARD BOILED, HERO and RED CLIFF, and frequent collaborator with Wong, plays Ip/Yip Man. You can see Zhang Ziyi in there, and Cung Le is in it too. The fight choreography is by the great Yuen Woo Ping.

No American release date yet.

I didn’t know about this one until I saw the trailer. /film is calling it a remake of SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT, but I think it must be intended as a sequel, since it doesn’t have the same plot at all and refers to this “urban legend” of a killer Santa. Director Steven C. Miller did THE AGGRESSION SCALE – didn’t somebody say that was good? I don’t know anything about it. Writer Jayson Rothwell did the Van Damme movie SECOND IN COMMAND, which I have almost entirely forgotten. I think he was in a tunnel for a while? That’s all I got.

But you know me, I’m gonna watch a movie that is not a comedy but has Santa with a blowtorch. So I’ll let you know.


I don’t know about comedy trailer narrator there, but the movie looks good and weird and I trust Don Coscarelli. Good for Paul Giamatti getting into one of his movies, as he’s been trying to do for a few years now (but BUBBA NOSFERATU never got off the ground).

Bet you didn’t expect him to show up.

Okay, not that different from the last trailer I don’t think. But I didn’t remember Christian Slater being in this. Not saying that’s a positive or a negative.

And there’s always room for some Bruce:


This trailer reminds me more of the enjoyably crappy first GI JOE movie than the other trailers did. I don’t know man, all signs point to bad except for the director, the cast and the trailers. We’ll see. Maybe the executives who pulled it just don’t get it. Or maybe it had to be pushed until after the election, like ZERO DARK THIRTY.

Ah shit, I’m thinking about it again. Oh well.

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34 Responses to “Lets get our minds off shit by watching some trailers”

  1. You’re the man, Vern. Everything will be ok…unless Mitt wins. Then we’ll have a Commander-in-Chief named fucking MITT. ‘Barack’ is weird but ‘Mitt’ is just dumb.

  2. This should take the edge off, man:

  3. caruso_stalker217

    November 6th, 2012 at 12:34 am

    That UFO movie looked like complete garbage. Until the last shot.

  4. I can’t wait for the scene where Ip Man leans “dubstep punch”

  5. Dubstep punch…that gave me the idea for a movie named WARRIORS OF DUBSTEP, a teenie martial arts rom com that exploits the current trend of Dubstep (Kids in the US are still listening to this, right?).

  6. I still don’t know what dubstep is…

    Also a Tea-liban government in the US would suck.

    I hope Romney’s human face mask slips off somewhere public

  7. I read the John Dies At The End book

    it’s pretty cool, I would recommend everyone check it out, I’m looking forward to seeing the movie eventually

  8. Holden – Kids in America listen to a simplistic confection that is basically Linkin Park with synths, which they are told is called “dubstep”. No relation to the club style us oldsters thought was cool for 2 months back in ’03.

    But you are right in that it is a “craze” and therefore owes us at least one exploitative movie before it peters out.

  9. GRANDMASTERS looks great; did anyone else see Wong Kar Wai’s other martial arts film, ASHES OF TIME? There’s a director’s cut of it out here in Europe, but the only version I saw was the original.

  10. Yeah, if Cannon would still be around, I’m sure we would already have one. And its sequel.

  11. @ Captain Tass
    God!! You can get killed between those Legs.But there are possible worst ways to leave this Planet.

  12. Best trailer I’ve seen in a while is the one for Stoker.

    A Park Chan-wook movie written by Wentworth Miller? It looks really damn good, though.

    Plus, Clint Mansell is doing the music.

  13. Pike…Yeah, that would be in the top two on my list of ‘Preferred Methods of Death’.

  14. @Jam: ASHES OF TIME didn’t make that great an impression on me. Neither the original cut or the redux. Probably my least fave Wong Kar-Wai film (if you don’t count MY BLUEBERRY NIGHTS). Loving the trailer for GRANDMASTERS though!

  15. @Griff – I just finished the sequel and it is also great. If you weren’t aware, it’s called “This Book is Full of Spiders. Seriously Dude, Don’t Even Touch It.”

  16. Jam: It’s not so much a director’s cut of ASHES OF TIME as it is a restoration; apparently the original print was in rough shape, so Wong cleaned it up, tinkered a bit with the soundtrack and intertitles. It’s not significantly different from the original.

    Unlike Mr. Taft, I think it’s a brilliant film, but no one should go into it thinking it’s a martial arts movie, despite Sammo Hung’s involvement.

  17. The fuck? Gross.

    I mean, whatever floats your boat I suppose but those pics are headed into weird fetish territory if you ask me.

  18. I didn’t ask you.

    One person’s fetish is another person’s norm.

  19. I take back weird actually, I shouldn’t have said that.

  20. caruso_stalker217

    November 6th, 2012 at 12:40 pm

    She could ride your ass to JELLY!

  21. Jareth Cutestory: Actually, the director’s cut of Ashes of Time leaves out some of the fight scenes, particularly the ones that aren’t directly related to the story. It’s kind of a shame because some of those were quite good, but it does make the movie flow a lot better.

  22. Mode…cool. *brofist*

  23. Yeah, some of the shots I remembered the most from ASHES OF TIME where missing from the redux. The opening in particular, had less of an impact, IIRC.

  24. Who is this Chris Zimmerman? He has lovely hair.

  25. Are those photoshop jobs? Or does that woman in the first pic actually have the legs of a video game fighter?

  26. caruso_stalker217

    November 6th, 2012 at 10:19 pm

    You can’t fake Chun-Li thighs, bruther!

  27. Eddie and Taft: It’s my understanding that parts of the original print of ASHES OF TIME were in such poor shape that they had to cobble together some parts of the “REDUX” version from bootleg copies, which might explain some of the missing bits.

  28. http://uk.ign.com/articles/2012/11/07/warner-bros-confirms-mortal-kombat-movie-reboot
    From the maker of the web series. So…possibly some more MJW on the way?

  29. Jareth: Yeah, as I recall, all original elements were lost, making it impossible to “restore” the theatrical cut. Which is why they set out to make a new one. The film had an interesting history before that. After having shot it, and struggled for some time to edit it, WKW needed to get his mind off it, and went out and made a quckie, shot in three weeks movie. That was CHUNGKING EXPRESS. Only after finishing that, did he go back and finished editing ASHES.

  30. If you would have told me that the director of Silent Night, Deadly Night remake would follow this up for 37 DTV Bruce Willis films I’d be scratching my head confused.

    Are there any interviews out there from Bruce Willis explaining what he’s doing in all these DTV films?

  31. Money.

  32. Yeah but what is he doing that he needs the money? Plus the money can’t be that good with Lionsgate DTV films.

  33. Dude… if I had a better answer I’d give it.

    Maybe they don’t take a lot of time or commitment. He clearly doesn’t give a shit anymore so maybe just showing up a few days or a week (or two) and then cashing a big paycheck is way more enticing than doing a bigger movie that can take months. He’s already in his late-period Robert DeNiro phase and maybe even late-period Marlon Brando phase where getting him to show up on set, much less act, is a Herculean effort.

  34. Why don’t you know? Lol

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