"I'll just get my gear."

Vern’s Yippee Ki Yay, Moviegoer contest winners!!

Hey friends, Vern here to update you on the winners of the video-making contest that Titan Books had to promote my new review collection, Yippee Ki Yay, Moviegoer: Writings on Bruce Willis, Badass Cinema and Other Important Topics. (Just to warn you, some of the “other important topics” include Mary Poppins, the movie “Garfield” and a painful medical procedure I once had. But it’s a pretty good book. You should read it.) To be frankly honest it looks like there was a little less elbow grease put into this contest than into the similar one we had for Seagalogy. Most of the videos were obviously things people had already made and decided to enter. Fair enough though, because the book is a collection of pre-existing reviews. People obviously put alot of love and care into the videos when they made them in the first place, so I enjoyed watching them. The winner though was one of the few that I think was made just for the contest (I could be wrong), WOMB TO TOMB by Patrick Newman. I believe Titan will be sending him a Playstation part 3 video game machine and the “Red Dead” cowboy game.

I like this one because it pays loving tribute to the kind of action movie tropes I enjoy. I chose it for the following reasons: subtitles, hand exerciser, helicopter, pizza boxes full of guns, and mainly for the twist that the bad guy knew the agency would send someone after him some day so he developed a way for men to give birth so he could use a baby as a human shield. I like villains who plan ahead. The five runners up will receive the incredible prize of my book. They are:

RESCUE, which has impressive production values and some dudes fighting over some coffee. I chose it because I like ninja stars, and this has an exploding one.

INSTABILITY – I didn’t really understand exactly what was going on, but something to do with stealing blood. And there’s a SWAT team. Also I like any movie where somebody kicks a chair and it slides across the floor. It’s just a thing I have.


KEEP THE CHANGE – I like the joke of a dude paying ransom money in coins, and the kidnapper calling him a dick.

HARDBALL 2: DEADLY STRIKE ZONE is one of these comedy fake trailers they make. I like how the one-liners don’t make any sense. Especially, “Hey scumbag – hit the showers.”

TOP DRAGUN was especially obvious that it wasn’t made for the contest, but I really enjoyed these cartoony special effects and the ridiculous concept. It’s basically TOP GUN with dragons as the bad guys. One of the heroes is code named “Dragon Raper.” Hopefully this will be expanded into a feature and nominated for best picture like DISTRICT 9.

Anyway, thank you everybody who entered the contest, your creativity and uploading skills are top notch. I really appreciate it.

author and contest host

Originally posted at Ain’t-It-Cool-News: http://www.aintitcool.com/node/45357

View the archived Ain’t-It-Cool-News Talkback

  • June 4, 2010, 8:49 a.m. CST


    by JackSlater4

    since no one else cares

  • June 4, 2010, 8:50 a.m. CST

    Apparently I’m a troll…

    by LordPorkington

    Because I had an opinion. Brilliant.

  • June 4, 2010, 8:54 a.m. CST

    I don’t know…

    by wampa 1

    …but it sure smells good!

  • June 4, 2010, 9:01 a.m. CST

    Here’s to your fuck, Vern!


    You’re Hopper obit was the best I’ve read, btw.

  • June 4, 2010, 10:01 a.m. CST

    I’m reading this in the garden now..

    by IWasInJuniorHighDickhead

    great book, my flatmates keep asking me what i’m laughing about.

  • June 4, 2010, 11:13 a.m. CST

    Patrick’s “Womb to Tomb”

    by RolloSoze

    Yes, I made it for the specific purpose of entering this contest. I would’ve liked to make it a whole lot better, but I ran out of time. I hope you enjoy what i could manage to get up there.

    Thank you Vern, for the shout-out. This has been a really big positivity boost for me. I’ll keep makin’ em and makin’ em better each time!


  • June 4, 2010, 11:40 a.m. CST


    by theheavy

    I for one enjoyed watching everyones videos,.and yes ours was made for something else but it did fit the bill

  • June 4, 2010, 1:11 p.m. CST

    by Vern

    theheavy: which one did you do?

    porkington: what are you talking about?

    CrispinGlover: I thought you were confusing me with Mr. Beaks at first, but you mean that post I did with all the pictures? Thanks, I’m glad if you enjoyed it.

    JuniorHigh: thanks bud.

  • June 4, 2010, 1:21 p.m. CST


    by theheavy

    We did the Action Scene Under 50 Dollars…I was also the guy in the leather jacket in the very short clippage..


  • June 4, 2010, 1:29 p.m. CST


    by thegreatyoda

    I’d been waiting for another shot at this ever since I was thwarted by a monster truck in the Seagalogy contest. I had a pretty darn epic entry set up. Then on the day of the shoot the van with the lights broke down and all was lost. Kind of a bummer to see how few people actually bothered to make an entry after all that. You need to do another one of these soon, Vern, even if it’s just for shits and giggles. Maybe we can make something that gets you excited enough to write more than a sentence or two.

  • June 4, 2010, 5:16 p.m. CST


    by Covax

    Yea we made Instability a couple years back for a John Woo film competition – it’s embarrassingly right in the credits. We really wanted to submit something original, but we’re focused on our (shameless plug) current film Abstract Messiah.

    So we though, what the hell, let’s dust off Instability. Maybe we’ll get smirk out of Vern. Didn’t think we’d place anywhere, honestly, since it lacked the ‘25% humour’.

  • June 4, 2010, 7:25 p.m. CST

    Thanks Vern!

    by TipVFL

    Hey, I made Top Dragun and I just wanted to say thanks for the kind words and the free book! Really enjoying it, it inspired me to watch Commando last night.

    I also hope to one day see an epic full length version of Top DRAGUN, just waiting for Peter Jackson to knock on my door carrying a huge check.

  • June 5, 2010, 2:40 a.m. CST

    You have a thing for people kicking chairs?

    by brodiebruce_405

    So glad I didn’t waste my time on this contest.

  • June 5, 2010, 4:22 a.m. CST

    The Rules

    by Demagog_Dog

    said nothing about “pre-made videos”. It did, however, say you could not use footage from actual movies. The Predator handshake was funny as hell, but why waste the time entering it?

    Alas, no love for Spic & Spann. I would have thought shooting a baby in the head would have cinched it for me…

  • June 8, 2010, 4:57 a.m. CST

    *kicks chair at brodiebruce_405*

    by Ninkynonk

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