"I take orders from the Octoboss."

Posts Tagged ‘contest’

Vern’s Yippee Ki Yay, Moviegoer contest winners!!

Friday, June 4th, 2010

Hey friends, Vern here to update you on the winners of the video-making contest that Titan Books had to promote my new review collection, Yippee Ki Yay, Moviegoer: Writings on Bruce Willis, Badass Cinema and Other Important Topics. (Just to warn you, some of the “other important topics” include Mary Poppins, the movie “Garfield” and a painful medical procedure I once had. But it’s a pretty good book. You should read it.) To be frankly honest it looks like there was a little less elbow grease put into this contest than into the similar one we had for Seagalogy. Most of the videos were obviously things people had already made and decided to enter. Fair enough though, because the book is a collection of pre-existing reviews. (read the rest of this shit…)

One proud American will win an Xbox or PS3 in the Yippee Ki Yay Moviegoer Youtube Video Contest!!

Wednesday, May 5th, 2010

Attention people who like being creative to try to win some free shit: It’s your ol’ pal Vern here to tell you about an INCREDIBLE OFFER! Like they did a few years ago to promote my acclaimed film studies book Seagalogy: A Study of the Ass-Kicking Films of Steven Seagal, my esteemed publishers Titan Books have put together a video-making contest to promote my new one. They would like to be entertained by your videos and in exchange they will give one of you knuckleheads a free video game machine + video game, and five others the far superior runner up prize of my new book Yippee Ki-Yay Moviegoer!: Writings on Bruce Willis, Badass Cinema and Other Important Topics. To be more specific about the video game machine, it’s a choice between “Xbox Elite” or “PS3 Slim,” whatever the hell that means. You guys remember Asteroids? Anyway who cares, obviously you’re going for the book. (read the rest of this shit…)

Vern’s Got A Contest For You, Sponsored By Seagal’s KILL SWITCH On DVD!

Tuesday, September 30th, 2008

Hello fellow Seagalogists and others, Steven Seagal’s latest and most recent, KILL SWITCH, arrives on DVD October 7th. Here’s the trailer:

Seagal plays a Memphis homicide detective chasing two unrelated serial killers while committing atrocities against dentistry and possibly juggling more than one family. (read the rest of this shit…)

Taped For Justice: Vern Announces The Winners Of The SEAGALOGY Youtube Contest!

Monday, July 7th, 2008

About a month and a half ago I announced the Seagalogy Youtube contest put together by Titan Books. To promote my skull-shattering new book SEAGALOGY: A STUDY OF THE ASSKICKING FILMS OF STEVEN SEAGAL they wanted people to submit short videos “based on the principles of Seagalogy, the study of the ass-kicking films of Steven Seagal.” I know there was alot of whining in the talkback that the contest should be done by somebody else, to promote some other thing, with a different thing that you do, and different prizes to win. Fortunately, there were more than enough standup individuals who did enter the actual existing contest and I was very impressed by the high quality of their work. I honestly wish I could give everybody a prize, but you know the rules. One first prize and five runners up. So here I will present the winners and I hope you’ll watch their videos. (read the rest of this shit…)

Vern wants you to Pay Homage to the Man With The Ponytail… Steven Seagal! And get a PLAYSTATION 3 for the effort!

Wednesday, May 28th, 2008


Which I imagine is something you guys do in your spare time anyway, so why not?

Hello friends, Vern here. As many of you know, I self-published a book last year called SEAGALOGY, which forever changed the lives of the couple hundred people who read it. If you have noticed any kind of improvement in the world or change in the essence of a man since then I think it is fair for me to take full credit. Well, on June 10th a new revised and updated edition of the book will come to book stores everywhere thanks to Titan Books, a fine British publisher also responsible for the greatest coffee table book I know of Click Here! Obviously an in-depth study of the films of Steven Seagal sells itself, but as a sign of respect for my mission the nice people at Titan decided to promote the book through the medium of contest. Basically what you have to do to enter is make a video paying tribute to what you like about Seagal. (read the rest of this shit…)