"CATCH YOU FUCKERS AT A BAD TIME?"

Washington voters: remember to approve R-71

ellis71A quick reminder: If you’re here in Washington state and allowed to vote, please remember to approve the “let’s keep basic gay rights” referendum R-71. If you haven’t been following it, here’s the deal:

Earlier in the year Washington finally passed a bill giving domestic partners (gay couples and elderly people who have lived together forever without getting married) some of the rights that married couples have. It’s not even true equality because they can’t get married, but it applies to things like visiting in hospitals and inheriting property and things like that.

Well, of course common sense and being nice is not allowed, so some scumbag out of state bigots (themselves documented tax cheats and wife beaters) paid a bunch of naive religious people to go around making up blatant lies about how the law was going to teach elementary school kids to have gay sex and penguins at the zoos will have to wear cock rings or whatever, and they got just barely enough signatures to put it on the ballot as R-71.

And to make it confusing, the thing on the ballot is the law itself, so you gotta vote FOR it if you believe in basic equality. Not against it because you are against the nitwits who forced it on there.

I mean, I understand that Leviticus is against gay sex and eating shellfish and shaving but what kind of a huge asshole and fake Christian wants to legally stop an old lady they never met from visiting her life partner in the hospital? There’s just no way to civilly disagree on stuff like this. It’s like saying, “I like punching orphans in the balls, it’s just my belief. Please don’t be intolerant of my views.” To actively go out of your way to legally prevent this kind of thing – you are an asshole. There is no way to be a nice person who wants to make sure the government prevents gay couples from visiting each other in the hospital.

So please, if it’s in your power, APPROVE THE SHIT OUT OF R-71. Don’t let these assholes come into our state and ruin everything.

thank you and sorry for the interruption.

special thanks to Mr. Subtlety for inspiring the “Don’t Be Ellis” graphic in the comments

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39 Responses to “Washington voters: remember to approve R-71”

  1. "Greg"

    November 2nd, 2009 at 1:04 pm

    Word, son.

  2. David Lambert

    November 2nd, 2009 at 3:11 pm

    As a Christian myself, I have no idea why the ‘evils of homosexuality’ are so emphasized by the modern church. All of the dumb shit that the church gets their panties twisted over (‘Harry Potter,’ gays, violent video games, violent gay ‘Harry Potter’ video games) are all such a huge distraction from what the church should be all about. You know, feeding the hobos and loving folks and stoning people that wear two different types of fabric at the same time, or boil a calf in its mother’s milk.

  3. Danny

    November 2nd, 2009 at 5:05 pm

    What I don’t understand is who the hell cares enough about making gay people unhappy to actively try and prevent them from having the same rights as straight people? Honestly, who are these assholes?

  4. Mr. Majestyk

    November 2nd, 2009 at 5:07 pm

    I’ve been asking that same question for years. Are there gays getting married in your living room, blocking your view of the TV? No? Then what the fuck do you care?

  5. Snow

    November 2nd, 2009 at 6:22 pm

    I live here Vern. Thanks for speaking out about this. I really hope before too long people start recognizing this for the bigotry it is. I’ll be voting fot this for sure. Can’t say we can count on the rest of eastern washington though. u live in the tri-cities and there are still bush / cheney bumper stickers everywhere. I had a female 20-year-old coworker tell me last year she was glad when hilary left the primaries because the only thing more ridiculous than a black president was a woman president… I have no faith in this town(s).

  6. frankbooth

    November 2nd, 2009 at 7:08 pm

    Wait, so Vern is PRO-shaving and shellfish? He’s one of THOSE? Shit.

    First [rec], now this. Excuse me, gang — I have a lot of thinking to do.

  7. Jareth Cutestory

    November 2nd, 2009 at 7:33 pm

    Thank for having the guts to take a principled stand, Vern, and for having the modesty to not do it in a self-important fashion like fucking Bono.

    And this serves as a reminder to those of us who might get complacent with our accomplishments: there are always people out there trying to take away your rights. Even up here in Canada, the same pack of fundamentalists are mucking around, trying to influence legal matters to their benefit, whether it’s same sex marriage, protecting sex trade workers or legalizing marijuana.

  8. Vern

    November 2nd, 2009 at 8:21 pm

    It’s okay, Snow. As long as you’re there that’s one more reasonable person they’ll have to deal with. I think this homophobia stuff will mostly disappear some day, but these people have to decide if they want to learn to accept people who are different from them and be more tolerant (like I did) or be part of the generation that has to die off before things get better. They talk about doing things “for the children” while in fact they’re doing things that will cause their children shame and discomfort when they grow up.

    thanks everybody

  9. The Filmist

    November 2nd, 2009 at 9:16 pm

    You know, I’ve always wondered why learned Biblical scholars haven’t come out and slapped these people on the back of the head and said, “the Levitical laws only applied to certain people even in the historical context that it arose in – and, their importance was also diminished quite a bit with the establishment of the New Covenant if you buy into that train of thought, etc.,” all that good stuff. But, then there’s the tricky question of the Pauline Epistles – which, personally, I agree with John H. Yoder and Thomas Jefferson about, that there’s very little relationship between what’s being said in them and what’s in the Synoptic texts and attributed to Jesus, and that Paul actually says that some of the things Jesus said don’t apply anymore, which is something that Jesus expressly forbids, and – well, I’m rambling. You know what I’m trying to get at, I’m sure.

    Theology’s fascinating stuff, I think.

  10. hamslime

    November 2nd, 2009 at 9:31 pm

    My dad had a gay friend and he and his boyfriend came over to our house on a number of occasions. Not once did I see the two of them fuck and neither I, my brothers, or my sister became gay. They must have been a few of the good ones.

    I also have to wonder what group of people we’ll blindly hate once we’ve decided to accept homosexuals as equals? I would guess trannies but they’re kind of in the same ballpark already. Personally, I vote any religious person. With as much hatred, bigotry, and violence religious groups cause in the name of their god, I say it’s time religion is outlawed. You want to make the world a better place? Get rid of this notion that you have to make people feel less than human because that’s how you decided to interpret an edited and revised book that your imaginary friend supposedly wrote.

    Do these people even realize that when homosexuals get married that it may be because they LOVE each other? Is it possible that they want to have a “normal” domestic life with each other that doesn’t involve breaking into homes and fucking each other in front of every kid in the vicinity? This shit pisses me off bad.

    Keep preaching your hate assholes, it’s what Jesus died for. Right?

  11. The Filmist

    November 2nd, 2009 at 9:38 pm

    That’s logical. “Hey, you know what we should do to get back at those guys for hating us and holding their prejudiced views against us and all of that terrible stuff? We’re gonna do the same to them! That’ll show ’em that we really have the moral high ground!”

    An eye for an eye, and all that – which is also an Old Testament view. Brilliant! Genius, I say! Keep going, keep going. I want to hear more, Mr. Hamslime, you.

  12. Mr. Subtlety

    November 2nd, 2009 at 9:39 pm

    Those leviticus nuts are also forgetting one important fact:The obscure prohibition reads thusly:

    “if there is a man who lies with a male as those who lie with a woman, both of them have committed a detestable act; they shall surely be put to death. Their bloodguiltiness is upon them.”

    Even if we choose to ignore all the idiocy regarding taking that one verse and flipping out about it (but not shellfish, fabric, slaves, etc) there still remains the fact that there’s no earthly reason women shouldn’t get to lie with women.

    Nah, I kid. Paul touches on it briefly. Bet plenty of ladies were pissed when they closed that loophole.

    In all seriousness Vern, thanks for bringing this up. I live in the wrong Washington (that would be, DC) but I’m pullin for you guys. Let’s do the right thing here, fellas. Don’t be Ellis, Washington state.

  13. hamslime

    November 2nd, 2009 at 10:58 pm

    I don’t know if this counts as irony but I remember hearing about how Christians were persecuted for their way of life. You would think they would be more empathetic towards gay rights. These people just want to live their lives just like the rest of us. Why is it even an issue?

    Don’t we look back at women’s rights and segregation like, “What the fuck were we thinking?” This is the same shit happening all over again and it’s fucking stupid. We shouldn’t even be voting on shit like this, but we do because a group of brain-washed delusional people who worship an over-rated work of fiction likes to make things difficult for the rest of us. What’s worse is that they usually win because they’re organized and the rest of Americans don’t generally vote unless it’s for American Idol or so Paranormal Activity can play “in your city” so I guess in that respect we get what we deserve.

    On the other hand if it weren’t for hate groups, homosexuals wouldn’t have to DEMAND rights, they could just simply ask for them and the world would go on without anyone being upset or hurt. Maybe they could just SAY that gays are still rightless to shut the religious people up but actually give the gays their rights. In ten years after the gays have been living it up with their rights there could be a poll taken on how the religious people feel about giving gays their rights. When they say that it will be the downfall of American families or whatever other horseshit they come up with, we drop the bomb on them that they’ve had their rights for the last ten years and nothing happened except for some people getting married and starting families and getting tax breaks and all that other stuff that doesn’t concern them.

  14. Griff

    November 2nd, 2009 at 11:58 pm

    Vern for president!

    no really, that would be awesome

  15. frankbooth

    November 3rd, 2009 at 12:19 am

    You at least agree that psychics and wizards should be stoned to death, right? Be reasonable, man!

  16. Ron Davis

    November 3rd, 2009 at 7:44 am

    Spokane, WA fella here. Totally going to approve the living fuck out of this.

  17. Jareth Cutestory

    November 3rd, 2009 at 7:50 am

    “Business is business. You use a gun, I use a fountain pen. What’s the difference?”

    “Shut up, Ellis.”

  18. Stu

    November 3rd, 2009 at 9:51 am

    I have to protest.

    Ellis would be PRO Gay Rights. Because a guy like him would think “hey, more chicks for me, right?”. So don’t lump him in with the anti-gay rights idiots.

  19. Mr. Majestyk

    November 3rd, 2009 at 10:03 am

    Ellis would make a deal with whoever was running shit at the time. If the terrorists (anti-gay lobbyists) took over Nakatomi Plaza (Washington) he’d be right there in the office (state senate) drinking a Coke (kickbacks) and trying to convince McClane (Vern) to turn himself in (vote no). But Vern has a machine gun (website) ho-ho-ho so they can take this (blog) under advisement, jerkweed (intolerant cocksuckers).

  20. Vern

    November 3rd, 2009 at 11:15 am

    Hey, didn’t know I had a reader in Spokane! Good for you. You see that, Snow? You’re not alone in Eastern Washington. There’s at least 2 approve votes over there.

  21. Mr. Subtlety

    November 3rd, 2009 at 3:09 pm

    Hey, thanks for the icon! Now, people will have a second motivation to pass R-71 — to wipe that smug grin off Ellis’s face.

  22. RRA

    November 3rd, 2009 at 3:16 pm

    Hamslime – The next to get persecuted blindly will be the bisexuals.

    “You can’t have it both ways!”

    “Sure I can. And I have!”

    As for the irony of Christian persecution, considering they got fed to the lions and shit by the Romans….look at those Palestinian legalized ghettos in Israel where those residents can’t leave without permission of the state police, and there was even a recent law proposed (but apparently voted down) where those civilians don’t have the legal right to marry Israeli citizens.

    Irony is thick, because of the maple syrup.

  23. Mr. Subtlety

    November 3rd, 2009 at 10:42 pm

    Fuck, that snake bastard Bob McDonnel won here in VA. His opponent, the unfortunately named Creigh Deeds, unwisely adopted the Walter Mondale strategy of telling people outright that if you want services you have to pay for them. Bob, of course, maintains that you can keep getting more stuff and never pay for it at all and in fact why are you even paying taxes at all, it all just goes to homosexuals and welfare queens! And now they’re saying its a reflection of voter dissatisfaction with Obama. Nah, its a reflection of their dissatisfaction with reality. Which … yeah. Fuck. Here’s hoping you West coasters did better than we did here.

  24. Trent Vittorio

    November 4th, 2009 at 12:10 am

    Just to let you know, R-71 was approved.

    http://vote.wa.gov/Elections/WEI/Results.aspx?RaceTypeCode=M&JurisdictionTypeID=-2&ElectionID=32&ViewMode=Results

    Good news.

  25. Jasper

    November 4th, 2009 at 3:13 am

    Close call it was… Followed the issue from a distance (The Netherlands). Outhere it’s quite different (gay marriage and registered partnership are considered normal by law). Here the discussion is more wether or not a church can refuse a gay marriage and stuff like that. We’re not so heavy on the religion outhere (some might disagree).

    This shit takes time (and reasonabilty).

    Glad Ellis lost this one!

  26. RRA

    November 4th, 2009 at 6:27 am

    Mr. S – I think its funny that despite all the hoopla, despite the Beck/Palin/Limbaugh/Pawlenty far right-wing support…Hoffman lost Distrct 23 in New York. First time they’ve elected a Democrat to Congress in over a century.

  27. Jareth Cutestory

    November 4th, 2009 at 8:21 am

    RAA – Maybe when they’re done with the bisexuals, the fundamentalists will get around to enforcing that part of the bible that tells you not to masturbate. I’d actually like to see how they staged such a campaign.

  28. RRA

    November 4th, 2009 at 8:30 am

    Jareth – How about: “Don’t be a Jerk, don’t Jerk!”

  29. David Lambert

    November 4th, 2009 at 10:49 am

    There’s no part of the Bible that tells you not to masturbate (unless you count the whole ‘don’t lust’ thing). If you’re thinking of the story of Onan then you have it mixed up. He was pulling out, not masturbating.

  30. hamslime

    November 4th, 2009 at 11:36 am

    I just found out that Ellis directed PCU. Maybe he’s not so bad after all.

  31. Loudabagel

    November 4th, 2009 at 11:59 am

    Way to go on getting that passed Washington. Pat yourself on the back for getting the word out, Vern.

  32. Mr. Subtlety

    November 4th, 2009 at 12:11 pm

    Glad to hear you guys elsewhere in the country did the right thing on Hoffman and R-71. Too bad the news today is a solid wall of pundits claiming the elections in VA and NJ were the only thing that mattered and they delivered a “stinging rebuke” to all of Obama’s policies. Nevermind that neither candidate had anything at all to do with Federal policy, and both loser were weak candidates with profound problems in their image and campaigns. People hate Obama now, the end. Media cycle marches on.

  33. RRA

    November 4th, 2009 at 12:23 pm

    Yeah yeah same pundits who thought Hillary was the best chance for the Democrats, not that liberal black guy with the funny foreign name.

    Same pundits who said that a vote against marching into Baghdad was a killer for one’s political aspirations.

    Which for Kerry, Edwards, McCain, and Hillary, was true.

  34. Vern

    November 4th, 2009 at 12:28 pm

    I don’t think R-71 is officially approved yet, and it’s a slim margin. But it looks good so far. The results were pretty much what I wanted across the board. The asshole “tax crusader” guy’s initiative got absolutely crushed and pissed on, the Republican former local news anchor running as a “non-partisan” lost by a surprisingly big margin, the mayoral candidate who wasn’t an executive at a cell phone company is ahead.

    Too bad about Maine though, that sucks. I don’t understand how there’s even voting on this shit, it strikes me as blatantly unconstitutional to be voting to take away rights from a minority. Like, let’s say some state voted that Puerto Ricans and Jews are no longer allowed to get a fishing license. I’m pretty sure that would be struck down.

  35. RRA

    November 4th, 2009 at 12:31 pm

    Vern – Yes it would get struck down, but we southern boys can’t stand Kosher Fish.

    Whatever that means.

  36. Mr. Subtlety

    November 4th, 2009 at 1:08 pm

    I honestly think all its going to take is one Supreme Court decision (once Altio, Scalia, Roberts, and Thomas are gone, of course) to declare amendments or laws that specifically discriminate against a certain group, removing rights that other citizens have, unconstitutional. I think people are waiting until those four ultraconservatives go away before bringing these cases to them, soas to not create a bad prescident. Scalia recently argued that the cross was “a univeral symbol for all people” and acting surprised an offended when a lawyer pointed out that it was a Christian symbol which doesn’t frequently mark the resting places of non-Christians. So even though this shit really couldn’t be more obvious, the current supreme court is a pretty hostile place for resolving it.

  37. RRA

    November 4th, 2009 at 1:12 pm

    Mr.S – I always laughed at how those “originalists” conservative judges can easily go activist if it suites their ideology.

  38. camipco

    November 7th, 2009 at 1:36 pm

    What if I’m in favor of penguins wearing cock rings? Is there something I can vote for?

  39. Mr. Subtlety

    November 7th, 2009 at 3:21 pm

    Hey, all you need to do is gather enough signatures and you can put a referendum requiring unicorns to wear diapers on the ballot if you want.

    Lousy democracy.

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