First?

FUCK YEA.

I want to see this effing movie. Now. Of course I live in India so I’ll probably get to watch it in six months when it hits on DVD

Fucking hilarious! Sounds like a great movie, I was sold on the poster alone, this solidified it. Thanks for another great review, Vern!

not THAT shit again? didn’t we see enough of that in Finding Nemo?

IPAMPILASH!

Gee, anyone else think Quint is has bellied up to Eli Roth’s teet?

My 19 year old girl friend and I just broke. If anyone wants details in regard to her, talk to me and I’ll disclose anything.

Was this girlfriend a 3-dimensional object, or did you only manage to model her in 2D?

And I Knew I’d get responses like this. She is completely real, we dated for a year, still close friends, I have pictures of her. I enjoy discussing her though.

What did you break?

Her hymen among other things. But I simple made a typo, “broke up”. Sorry for the double post.

DanielKurland’s 19 year old girl friend and I just fixed.

and I don’t blame you, but this is a legitimate offer. If anyone is actually interested. Talk to me.

…but Vern wrote it so you know it’s gonna be the best review of all time. Especially seeing as though he’s reviewing a film by Cronenberg. Anyone seen that one where the former pornstar “infects” people via humping them with her armpits. That was an interesting movie. Had something to do with AIDS apparently. And armpits. I wonder if History of Violence is a sequel to that.

lol, I just had to bring that up again.

Let us not forget that Neil Cumpston is the best reviewer of all time, and everyone else on this site is living a shallow existence in his shadow. That is all.

If what this review is saying is true, then wwwwhhheeeeewwwwww!!!!

Again, I’m not surprised to get these messages implicating her or her pictures are fake. If you’re not interested, don’t respond. But there is no need to insult me by the accusations.

I think what Alonzo was trying to say was STOP. The topic of discussion is Vern’s hilarious review, not some doctored photos of you.

Why did you break up? Or did she break up?

I don’t think she broke up, I think she just broke. Perhaps the makers of The Real Doll can send you a refund or a new girlfriend.

…is someone, how you say…? Ah, yes. “Propositioning” their (ex-)girlfriend to anonymous people scattered across the globe on a TalkBack? Even for, y’know, here, that seems kind of weird. Vern, you are, how you say…? Ah, yes. “Awesome.” I could do that thing where I try to quote funny stuff in your review but you’ve probably already read it. Suffice it to say I think I pampilashed. I’ve been jonesing to see this movie for a while now, good to see that it’s been getting crazy good reviews.

First off, ThomasGaffney and to the rest uninterested, I do apologize for invading this TB, but I will answer Darth Kong’s question. We broke up simply because we thought things would simply work better as friends, and she didn’t state it, but she can fuck more people this way.

Oh wait, you already have. Who are you anyway? Are you feeling down in the dumps? Cheers up,

We banged her behind the McDonald’s dumpster.

I’m in no way looknig for sympathy, or feeling sad, was just wondering if anyone was interested. Didn’t expect much. My AIM is DanielKurlandVA is anyone is. On a related note, History of Violence does in fact look very good, and being a big Cronenberg fan, I hope it can top Videodrome and Crash, and to the poster who mentioned Rabid, yes, that movie is indeed great.

Goddam, Vern, that’s one of your best reviews ever. Well done!

Give me your MSN or AIM details, and I will.

Well, I can’t lie to DanielKurland. And I don’t think your shared rampage can get any cheaper than it already was.

Thanks for the tip, Alonzo! I wish I had pics of that. It’s too bad no one has hijacked this talkback to try and give away naked pictures of her.

I can’t wait to see History of Violence. I’ve been looking forward to seeing this since the first trailer, and Vern’s fantastic review only adds to my anticipation. Kudos, Vern!

The whole thing was a result of mass boredom, and Tracey, will not be mentioned again. Resume covnersation of the movie.

…that being said, I’d really like to see this movie, but I have the grim feeling it’s something that I’m seeing advertised on all of Jackson’s tv stattions, yet won’t be able to find at one of Jackson’s metroplexes.

It should be there right between outworn and ouzel, but noooooo. So if Funk&Wagnalls doesn’t have ouvre what the fuck is Seagal doing with it.

To Vern: I’ve read you Oldboy review on your site: “I’m glad I caught up with it and that when I did it was still called OLDBOY and not HOTEL VENGEANCE” LOL

…to go see Cabin Fever’s European Vacation, he should have his balls chomped off by piranhas (and why the hell do those mean little fishies get an “s” in packs, but ninja don’t?) and the remaining crotch crater filled with rock salt. This movie looks fantastic and Vern’s review is predictably sublime. Oh, and DanielKurland’s girlfriend showed me some pictures of him last night. Let’s just say I understand why she dumped him now.

While i am excited for it, couldn’t anyone read the 139648294 other reviews of the same movie opening TODAY?

I hope this is the shit.

Saw HISTORY OF VIOLENCE in February with a hilarious test audience of Mexican teenagers. They gave this movie what it deserved–peals of derisive laughter. It’s as if Cronenberg woke up one day and said, “What I need to do–what I’ve never done before–is a really bad Lifetime movie about a sensitive good-guy husband who turns out to have a dark, sexy past! But the thing that’ll be really cool is…lots of laughable overacting from Ed Harris and William Hurt, and pacing like molasses!” And you know what? He made good on his word.

Jeez man, give the guy a better credit than that!

David (Videodrome) Cronenberg or

David (Scanners) Cronenberg or

David (The Fly) Cronenberg or even

David (Dead Ringers) Cronenberg

Sheesh!

I checked Moviefone just minutes ago to find out where “A History of Violence” is playing near where I live, and, goddamnit, it’s not even playing in my state. From the number of ads and promotional spots I’ve seen on television, I thought it was getting a major release. But, apparently, it ain’t. Fuck.

Thanks for the review, Vern. It was well-written and entertaining.

The only other Cronenberg movies I have seen are the Fly and Scanners. This one sounds decent, but I will have to wait until DVD. I don’t think I want to take my small kids to see it. Great review Vern!

AHOV is getting limited release today and wide release next week (9/30).

Best this year. That’s right, better than Wedding Crashers AND Bewitched, you buncha mouth breathing comic-book hard-on idjits.

Ah, see there’s the problem…you’re supposed to masturbate while you watch it. It sounds wacky but trust me, I’m the guy who first combined peanut butter with chocolate. Go ahead, give it a try, you’ll probably enjoy porn much more…

U still here? Fuck em, I want to talk to you.

… dude, your girlfriend broke up with you because a) she wants to fuck other people, perhaps some who can satisfy her, and b) you’re the type of pathetic loser who would talk about his breakup on a FUCKING MOVIE WEBSITE TALKBACK. Jesus, of all the geeky shit I’ve seen on this site, you sir, take the taco. Now PLEASE go away. And back on topic – this movie has hands down one of the the best trailers I’ve ever seen. It was outstanding. And now it has a great review. Bravo again, Vern-O.

He could play the General. I think I’d get that blonde lawyer from Boston Legal to be Duke. While Flint could be played by Jim Caviezel. Get with it WB. All the other 80’s stuff will be out by 07 and 08.

I was only remotely interested in this until now. You’re the only AICN staffer that hasn’t steered me wrong yet. Can’t wait to see the part where Mortensen eats McDonald’s in front of a Radio Shack while screwing someone’s girlfriend in her dumpster.

Yeah I guess I wasnt the only one to notice that.One of our greatest filmmakers deserves a better intro than that.At least you made up for it with a good review and mentioned his bit part in To Die For…peace

Do a search for articles on AICN written by Vern and you will notice he does that kind of thing a lot, putting their shittiest movie as a nickname, he even did it in this article again with Ed “Knightriders” Harris. Or just read his reviews because they are hilarious. Also, does anyone remember the excellent movie “better luck tomorrow” a couple years back about the overachieving high school asian kids? apparently the director justin lin is doing “Fast and Furious 3: Tokyo.” worst title since Dungeon Seige? possibly.

Fuckin’ chat rooms. Get that porn pimpin’ outta here.

Seriously, they really should just give up. No WMD’s. No ability to save the country from a terrorist attack. Geezus, not even $200 billion could save a city from a fucking windy day. And now the truths out that bombing in iraq are being carried out by the troops in dressup. So now we’re all going to stand back and have our tits and arse pictures taken away from us?? What next – War on agressive movie talkback site? Oh I got it, How about a war on war. That’ll fuck em. geez like you could ever stop someone flashing a tit in front of a camera. Speaking of just breaking your girl… Don’t worry bout it brother. Send a link to those naked pics this way. Quick before Bush and the feds come to gitcha.

Political victory is impossible. The original declared objectives of the war cannot be met because they were all lies. We can never remove Iraq’s WMDs because there were none. We cannot stop Iraq from supporting Al Qaeda because Iraq and Al Qaeda were enemies. And we did not succeed in punishing Iraq for 9-11 because Iraq had nothing to do with 9-11. There is no victory possible for the originally stated reasons for this war. And as revelations of torture continue to emerge, the US has lost its position as moral standard-bearer for the rest of the world, if indeed it ever was. bla bla bla flame on fuckers

That’s the most retarded idea since Mega-Force. Saw AHOV last night. It’s pretty good, but has some very bad writing in the first act and and utterly horrible performace by the semi-mongoloid who plays Viggo’s daughter. Good 69 scene, but the movie is kinda slow in parts. There’s also a really offensive opening scene that ends with the cheapest emotional manipulation a director can do. Good gore. Mercifully short. Like 89 minutes or something.

…but do I smell another political debate coming on? Man, you guys barely need an excuse to bring this shit up.

…no, I’m not telling you what to do, before an autoMatisse or Moe Ron or some other jackass chimes in. If you wanna talk about politics, be my guest. Shit, argue back and forth about whether or not King Arthur has a basis in history; it’s not like I could stop you anyway. But I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one who thinks the constant digressions into politics are insane.

…all those totally 80s, stubbly faced, smooth chested, open shirted, beige wearing, bandana sporting, near-future military dudes driving around in color-change cars and motorcycles with side-mounted rocket launchers and shit! Wait a minute… Mega Force WAS the live-action G.I. Joe movie!

Man don’t worry about the war on porn. It ain’t working out with terror, it didn’t work with drugs. I’m guessin we’ll be seeing a huge porn renaissance. Even Moriarty will be reviewing nothing but porn in his column by the end of the year. Pierre Woodman will be the president of NBC. Lifetime will show nothing but Andrew Blake movies. Anyway I wanted to explain the Jason X thing. This review was written for individuals like you and I who already enjoy Mr. Cronenberg’s works or at least are familiar with them. So saying “David Cronenberg (Naked Lunch)…” I might as well just say “hey cocksucker, go fuck yourself you piece of shit retard.” It is disrespectful to the audience. So instead I like to shed light on aspects of the individual’s career that most may have forgotten about. I knew people would laugh but if you check the reviews on my sight, you will see that I actually love both JASON X and KNIGHTRIDERS. I think at one point I even declared KNIGHTRIDERS the greatest movie of all time. Although let’s be honest I probaly hadn’t seen DIE HARD in a while when I said that. Still, I am a big fan of KNIGHTRIDERS and WALKER so wanted to mention them.

I used to draw the different vehicles in elementary school, loved that movie. Yeah, it’s probably crap now that I’m older, haha. *** DanielKurland, can’t believe I’m saying this on a geek movie board, but get a f*cking life. Nobody cares about your ex’s pictures. What’s so special about her nekkid pics compared to the billion of other nekkid 19 year olds on the ‘net? Nothing.

Anyone else agree?

I’m actually kind of suprised I haven’t seen anyone talking about Straw Dogs when this movie comes up. Maybe I missed it. I really loved the theme in Straw Dogs and especially Dustin Hoffman’s performance, and A History Of Violence seems like it’s putting a new twist on a similar theme. It makes me really excited to see where Viggo takes his character.

and woke up the next day with a thousand “Dear Mr. batmanrules, please try out our new Penis Enlarger. It is guaranteed better than all the other ones you’ve used” e-mails in their inbox. And Vern shouldn’t have to respond to people who don’t understand his reviews, the reason why he put Ed “Knightriders” Harris instead of Ed “The Right Stuff” Harris is because he can. Same for spelling site sight.

This review is hysterical. I still don’t know if this is a good movie or not but, Vern, you’re a genius.

I actually laughed out loud more than once during this review. And I’m a miserable bastard therefore this is no small feat. Hilarious. I love how herc keeps mentioning the most obscure works of said actor or director (ie: cronenberg from Jason X and ed harris from nightriders). LOL.

Read through what you just said…there’s one thing wrong with it. Actually there isn’t, Vern is Hercules.

of one guy who insisted on calling vern they. “They’re obviously laughing behind all your backs. They take turns writing their “reviews” and post them on aintitcool just to get people pissed off. I wish they’d go away”. Sure, he isn’t Bruce Willis’ internet alter-ego, but it doesn’t mean he’s part of a conspiracy to piss people off. That’s Harry’s job.

As we all know, it was Herc’s fault.

I just always thought he liked really bad films:)

kurland, hook me up! [email protected]

Humphrey’s in it for about five minutes total. Which still makes it the best movie with the letter X in the title ever made.

Can someone tell me if the scene from the book where the two childhood friends are reunited is in the movie? That is one of the most disturbing Vince Locke drawings of all time and perfect Cronenberg material, worth the price of admission if it made it in. Nice review Vern as always.

It’s ok. Very cartoonish at times. The opening scene is great. Most of the stuff with the villains is pretty intense but some of the action is ridiculous. And the son is pretty much pointless and a whiny little pussy. And there is a scene very early, where the little daughter has a nightmare, that has the most laughably awful ‘family’ dialogue that I’ve seen in a while. Anyway, just wanted to warn all of you.

it was great. sort of like CHOPPER COMMAND or that other game that was basically the same as CHOPPER COMMAND. and goddamn was that movie retarded. _____ btw, you know GIJOE has gone anime, right? saturday morning there is this new GIJOE cartoon and it’s pretty much straight up anime. its kind of fun too in a “i’m way to old to be enjoying this, but i can’t deny that it’s kind of amusing” kinda way — lots of decent cell-shaded looking CG (which either you’ll love or hate), and robots and battle suits and cute girl ninjas and such. i wonder if the artists in Japan experienced any cognitive dissonance making “GIJOE” cartoons? hmm…

Trouble is, he’s always reviewing good movies like Jules et Jim, nice reviews sure, but we all know that a reviewer isn’t a reviewer unless they’ve got something to chew on. There’s more negative adjectives than there are positive ones. Not in the Dictionary mind you, but the dictionary’s so mainstream and overground. If a book hasn’t got the word ass-wipe in it then it’s not a book.

Was just thinkin to myself earlier that it’d been too long since the last one. Thought this looked good — now I’m psyched to see it.

but Viggo seemed pretty alive to me in those films. And after slogging through the box-sets he was the hidden treasure, a man’s man who likes horses. Alot. Who forced the whole crew to camp out one day so they could catch the sunrise on film. I never got that phrase a man’s man, I don’t think it relates to society nowadays. Maybe it’s got something to do with all of that Pygmalion business of the 30s to early 60s, where it seemed every film was about how women water down everything they touch. “What if a woman could be a man…?” I just finished watching that pre-Amelie flick, “Une Femme Est Une Femme”, and my answer to the question I just brought up out of nowhere is that if a woman can look like Anna Karina then they’re alright with me. Tangents are good for the blood I hear.

joblo has a detailed, spoiler inclusive script review of southland tales.

this site is a fucking joke.

He is not the same man he is in LOTR. Always thought he’d make a great bad guy. Like a scary bad guy. y’know.

My daughter is 15 and I’m about to kick her out of the house, it’s an amicable split though and I thought “What better way to give her a leg up than to pass her around the history of violence talkback like a joint at a foghat show” She’s a hottie guys. I’ve got pictures that I took of her while she was sleeping. She’s up for anything. COME AN’ GIT IT TALKBACKERS!!!

Glad to see you kickin! Great Review.

Neil Cumpston writes like an average high schooler would, if the high schooler had read a bunch of Vern reviews and tried to copy Vern’s style. Neil Cumpston uses/steals about 1/90 of Vern’s techniques, and Cumpston robotically uses *every* single one of these few techniques in each “review” in the most obvious plug-and-chug way, and repeats. Neil Cumpston only summarizes plots in his poser way, and gives a thumbs up or down, and never gives any insight into anything. What kind of low-standard-having gullible individual would choose Cumpston over Vern?!?! Yikes. That is just pathetic. What’s next, choosing Madonna’s copy of Marilyn Monroe over the real Marilyn?!! Give me a friggin’ break, man.

But that logic doesn’t help Cumpston because Vern is alive, and Cumpston just plain bores.

Beaks has some writing skills, but he is just not special in any way, other than the negative way of falling in and out of big-word-using mode. At least Vern can stay in character when he writes.

Come on you horny fucks, she’s gotta make a living somehow. No fuckin’ respect.

Sorry. I just HAD to tie the two threads up. For kicks. Ok I’m going to bed now. And yes Daniel, go pimp your porno on a street corner… “I assume it was Liz who did the dumping?”

Is that your real name? Because if it is you just might be a distant relative of mine.

You do not happen to live in Germany, do you?

Anyone remember his part as Satan no less at the end of that movie?

Cool as hell! Next to Chris Walken he made that movie shine.

Shivers… I mean… Damn… it predates Dawn of the Dead and Alien… and I used to think he was Giger’s ho… but… no… he really deserves it all. Peace.

Any fan should hunt it down for the interview. The “slapping” story is now perhaps my favorite making of horror movie story. GOLD. Peace.

Please stop reviewing movies, write a script and save Hollywood.

Plus Viggo (YOUNG GUNS 2) Mortenson & Ed (MILK MONEY) Harris, in a film by David (SCANNER COP 2) Cronenberg!

Great review. Probably better than the movie.

It drives me crazy that with all the information on the internet, they can’t post a complete release date list for limited release movies.

I was looking forward to this weekend, and today I got online to find the best theater to see the film. Lo and behold, it’s not showing anywhere in Austin. They’ve got it in Dallas, though. What’s up with all that nonsense?

and it looked to me like the guy was being serious about it too. And the thing that really made it sick was when he got all self-righteous about the fact people were ribbing on him. Man, some people out there you gotta wonder why they shell out the money for that tenth lobotomy. Wasn’t the ninth enough?

…I remember when ol’ Vern used to get savaged pretty badly on these TB’s when he first started. Seems like he’s either changed his shtick or taken a few writing classes. Anyway, great review indeed and I can’t wait to see this as the trailer has me pumped. I heard the nightmare/family bit was a tad syrupy from somebody else who’s seen it already. Otherwise, they said it was a solid movie with excellent performances by Harris and Arago…erm, I mean Viggo.

Yes! Viggo almost stole that fucking movie away from Walken, which is saying something because that movie (in my opinion) is the standard by which all Walken performance’s must be set. When he did LOTR I was thinking ‘he looks kind of like he did as Lucifer’. Though I don’t remember him telling Frodo that he could lay him out and fill his mouth with his mother’s faeces. Or indeed, that he loved him more than Jesus. Fuck me I might have to go and watch the Prophecy now.

Although maybe that Striving for Excellence in the Field of Film Reviews shtick might have made him more palatable for AICN audiences. Personally I miss the old days when Die Hard 2 was his touchstone; you’d still get a reference in there even if he was reviewing The Last Unicorn or something.

hilarious… his cited works are all his ACTING jobs. did anyone already point this out? maybe. do I care? stop asking that, you desperate fool.

Nice job on that one. He still didn’t top Scorsese’s performance in Quiz Show though.

You people can’t make up your minds, except when it comes to leveling blind vitriol toward President Bush. Sure, the chimp does shit I can’t stand too. First “undocumented guest workers, then Schiavo, and now porn (among other things. But when you people engage in a knee-jerk alliance with “Bush doesn’t care about black people” West, “The levees were blown up by white people” Farrakhan, “end the occupation in New Orleans” Sheehan, and even “RockStar Games cheated the ESRB” Clinton, you’re only giving me more reason to stay right where I am.

“…a caveman beating some guy with a conch shell …” A CONCH shell? Vern…you don’t seem like the kind of guy who would differentiate between SHELLS! I mean, I know you strive for quality, but still!

Huh?

Sorry about that vern! Good review!

Your whole post reminds me of when my friends send me text messages when drunk . “I saw tun robger” or “We rutn get over”, you know, confusing stuff like that. I have no idea what you are gibbering on about but I suspect what you meant to say was that you liked Videodrome

He cracks me up with his mad choices in acting roles. When he makes movies as a director he seems to think long and hard about them and gived very serious interviews about the meanings of them and how they pertain to society and blah blah blah. Anyway point is he seems to care. Then you switch on the TV and he’s a mad doctor doing ridiculous experiments into memories in Alias. Or indeed, a mad doctor in Nightbreed. I liked him in Last Night, though. Which is also good for being one of the only Canadian films ever made which isn’t depressing. And it’s about the end of the world, so they’ve really gone out of their way there. Why are all Canadian movies so depressing? I mean,I’m in Scotland. Scottish movies are all depressing – they always seem to be about junkies or alchoholics or abused children. So you would expect them to be depressing. But Canadians just can’t seem to make a movie about ANYTHING without it being depressing. You go to Toronto and it’s nice restaurants, clean streets, beautiful women everywhere and you just think – what the fuck are you doing? Someone get Atom Egoyan drunk and laid, man. Anyway, I’m rambling

If some kid has a video of his girlfriend I, for one, might watch it. I WILL watch this movie. At Comic-Con this year Cronie came and talked about the flick (adapted from a comic book BTW) and it was enough to convince me that it will be interesting. Now, somebody review the girlfriend porn for me please!

I think it’s great that Herc uses the “Ahh, but did you know he was involved with <film X>. By the way, a quick trawl through IMDB points out that James Isaacs was a special effects guys for La Cronenburg back in the day, so it was probablt just a ‘fancy being in this movie’ kind of thing. Probably. Or something. Perhaps. Who cares?

…why’d you wanna go and hate on Chicken George like that? You were funnier when you were elf_killer# though not as erudite(?). S’matter, you an’ happyhappyjoyjoy have a tiff? Anyway…go Viggo!

One

And you remind me of coworkers who can’t be bothered to read past the subject line to get at the answers in the body of an email. First of all, which of my posts on this TB are you addressing? Second, your analogy makes no sense since the spelling was fine, it was the closing of some punctuation that was off. Third, I wasn’t drunk, I was stoned. Fourth, everything I wrote in each post was in direct reply to stuff already mentioned right here by others. Look, I tend not to like when a TB gets off topic too. Instead, blame me for feeding the trolls. These things aside, yeah, I’ve always dug on Deborah Harry.

In Roger Ebert’s “Bigger Little Movie Glossary” (a hilarious book) he mentions a similar situation where an actor who dies will always be referred to by his last credit. So, despite all of his accomplishments, Lawrence Olivier will always be known in the media as “Lawrence (The Betsy) Olivier”.

It was the last post before my own. “Saddam killed the Kurds…” was the header. I just had no idea where your stream-of-consciousness rant came from. The reason I said it reminded me of those kinds of message was that the words didn’t make sense together but there was clearly intent behind them. Anyway it doesn’t matter, it wasn’t really supposed to be any kind of harsh criticism. Seems like every TB on here always ends up with a squabble about American foreign policy or Joss Whedon. If Whedon ever runs for office this site will go into meltdown.

And every American is a xenophobe. No exceptions.

Keep trying, you’re almost as funny as Mercier, King of the Talkback’s. But then, he was at least coherent (and not on drugs). BTW, wouldn’t Melkor Jr., technically, be Gothmog? Oh yeah, I heard Viggo turned down the role of Smaug because he claimed he didn’t inhale (flames…get it?).

Teen 1: “Here comes that cannonball guy. He’s cool.” Teen 2: “Are you bein’ sarcastic dude?” Teen 1: “I can’t tell anymore.”

And Daniel Kurland might as well change his username, he will forever be ridiculed on this site. Hahahaha. Douchebag.

But in a good way

…is shit compared to Giant Robo: The Animation!! Yes sir, that’s mighty fine. Cronenberg is definately the sickest genre director next to Shinya Tsukamoto…not really my thing, I appreciate this kind of stuff but don’t enjoy it much, Videodrome was great but his other stuff just freaks me the fuck out. Like that Brothers Quay shit. Or some of Stan Brakhage’s movies. With all the birthings and autopsies and whatnot. You know what I’m talking about.

I’ll be lining up for tickets on… March 16th 2006. Sucks to be me.

Huge turn out. As well as being Cronenbergs best in years, this movie is much funnier than I expected. William Hurt’s “How do you fuck that up?” bit brought the house down.

Wow. You are funny. And it’s “a lot.” Two words. So you’re smart, too!

this smells like a PLANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m glad everybody liked the review, spelling, etc. Thanks especially to 3 Bag Enema for the kind words. I am not a comedian or nothin but hey if i made you laugh it is worth it. I have always wanted to put a smile on the face of a guy named “3 Bag Enema.” So really I think both of us got alot out of this whole deal. He enjoyed how funny and smart I was, and I lived one of the my dreams. Anyway I just wanted to clear this up again though, I genuinely love JASON X and KNIGHTRIDERS. And NIGHTBREED is okay. Not MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE though, you’re right about that one. That was my way of saying that the guy who wrote this pretty much came out of nowhere. So good for him.

I hurt myself laughing.

holy shite!!!!

DanielKurland’s girlfriend is jessica alba!!!he just gave me THE VIDEO!!!!

She looks like a baby seal got shaved and rubbed up all shinny with the sex wax… sexxy that don’t make her… Peace.

The day has kicked off really shitty and is going to be getting shittyer as the shit hits the rotating shit resulting in a world of shit. Someone had to be the ananimate target of my drowsy rage and incapacity to spell… and the bottle just happened to stop on Alba… On the bright side… at least I didn’t finish the above train of thought with… “THAT does however make her fitting for being slapped repeatedly with acutual fish… or the frozen variety…” you see that would have been a tad harsh and… fuck… a panda… for the speiceis… … no really, fuck. I finished the train of thought when I told myself I wasn’t… this day will be long. Peace.

…don’t let anyone tell you differently.

Nice try, though.

er… how is Cronenberg involved with Jason X; bearing in mind I’ve not actually seen the movie.

I’m not sure, I would probaly check IMDB under either Jason X or David Cronenberg, that would probaly clear it up however I will not check because I just don’t have the time for stuff like that right now. thanks rendell.

Brought a tear to my eye, too.

Well, maybe not a bastard. Let me think… should I enlarge the platform and enrich the contributions of some expat Eurotrash who speaks at International ANSWER rallies, a North Korean/Socialists Workers funded front group dedicated to the same thing all communist groups are dedicated to, the destruction of the USofA? Should I reward this seditionist who has made millions of dollars off this country only to use every chance to dump on it and advocate its defeat? Give me a seco… NO! And Hell NO! It’s that simple. Good citizenship is hard to find anywhere in Hollywood, but there are a few at the top that spew particularly vile sewage against this country. Wiggo is one of ’em. And sorry if some find this inappropriate here, but his moronic Bush conspiracy rant on Charlie Rose was inappropriate too. Where’s HUAC and Joe when you need ’em?