This is a blog (short for web-log) post about the trailer for BATTLE OF THE YEAR 3D. The movie is not about the type of battles that are in the movies I normally write about here, but bear with me.
Whether you know it or not, you are anxiously awaiting my review of STEP UP REVOLUTION. I’m working on it, but I saw this trailer before the movie and I had to share it with you guys right away. At first I was just laughing because it’s a dance movie following a sports movie formula, so the characters keep talking about “the sport” of breakdancing. That is a very anti-STEP UP attitude. Dancing is an art, right? W the F.
But as I kept watching I realized something else. See if you pick up on it too:
You catch that? The unorthodox, highly disciplinary coach who has the uphill battle of whipping the U.S. team into shape. The guys on the team who don’t get along and get into a fight and have to work it out to unite the team. The blond female expert who’s brought in and everybody scoffs at her femaleness but she shuts them up because she’s awesome. Going to nationals to compete against the Koreans. But look at the footage of them! They’re impossible to beat!
You see what this is? This is motherfuckin BEST OF THE BEST! Except with breakdancing! Whichever character is Eric Roberts better dislocate his shoulder during the battle and yell at somebody to “POP IT! POP IT!!!” And hopefully one of the guys is dancing for revenge against the one-eyed Korean who killed his brother in a previous dance.
I’m not joking, this is kind of amazing how much it fits the template. It’s not credited as a remake though, I checked just to be sure. I guess it’s more of a POINT BREAK/THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS type of situation, except even weirder, because they changed subcultures but not genres. Surfing to drag racing is not as big a leap as karate to breakdancing.
That reminds me of a movie idea I had earlier in the day: POINT BREAKIN’. You know, a cop goes too deep undercover in a gang of dancing bank robbers. I don’t even gotta write it out because you can picture the whole thing. Copyright Vern 2012. Send money.
VERN has a new action-horror novel out called WORM ON A HOOK! He has been reviewing movies since 1999 and is the author of the film criticism books Seagalogy: A Study of the Ass-Kicking Films of Steven Seagal and Yippee Ki-Yay Moviegoer!: Writings on Bruce Willis, Badass Cinema and Other Important Topics as well as the crime novel Niketown.