SUITABLE FLESH is the latest from Joe Lynch, a director who has a certain credibility in my book because his debut was a DTV sequel. I was mixed-positive on WRONG TURN 2: DEAD END (2007) and wrote some things in the review that I now consider out of line, but I definitely respect its joyful spirit toward sequelizing and in many ways outdoing a studio movie I really wasn’t that into. Since then Lynch has directed a comedy that got taken away from him, the Salma Hayek action vehicle EVERLY, the gory outbreak-in-an-office-building movie MAYHEM (which I liked but apparently didn’t review) and the Frank Grillo/Anthony Mackie car chase buddy movie POINT BLANK. But now he’s returned to horror with a sacred task: to manifest an unfinished project of the late great Stuart Gordon.
I didn’t realize it from the name, but it’s one of those unfulfilled ambitions we read about for years – here’s an example of Gordon talking it up while promoting STUCK in 2008, but using the title of the H.P. Lovecraft story it’s based on, “The Thing on the Doorstep.” The script is by Gordon’s regular collaborator Dennis Paoli (RE-ANIMATOR, FROM BEYOND, THE PIT AND THE PENDULUM, CASTLE FREAK, DAGON) and it’s produced by RE-ANIMATOR/FROM BEYOND/CASTLE FREAK star Barbara Crampton. (read the rest of this shit…)
This year I celebrated Halloween by taking the day off of work and watching a witch-themed triple feature. This is not something I ever thought I’d do, because I’ve always had that issue with historical witch movies where it kinda bothers me to pretend there’s a such thing as witches, since that’s the superstitious bullshit that real life tyrants used as an excuse to torture and murder many innocent people in this country and elsewhere. But there were a couple witch-related movies I’d been thinking I’d like to rewatch, and at the same time I’d been thinking about my late mother, who loved to dress as a witch every Halloween. She painted her face green and glued on a warty latex nose with spirit gum. Some of the younger kids in the neighborhood were terrified of her, but she got a kick out of it. So I dedicate this witch-a-thon to her.
I chose to view them in order of when they take place: first Rob Eggers’ THE WITCH (1630s), then George A. Romero’s SEASON OF THE WITCH (1970s), and finally Robert Zombie’s THE LORDS OF SALEM (twenty-teens). (read the rest of this shit…)
I didn’t even realize THE LORDS OF SALEM was coming out this week until somebody told me. I never saw an ad or saw the trailer play before another movie. When I saw the Anchor Bay logo at the beginning I thought, “That’s weird, why is the new Rob Zombie movie being distributed by the company that only does barely-released-or-advertised horror like HATCHET or BEHIND THE MASK?” After the movie was over it kinda made more sense.
There are many things I liked about this one. Oddly enough I like that it stars Zombie’s wife, Sheri Moon Zombie. She was a major character in all his other movies, but in this one she’s the center of the whole story and often alone on screen. I like that because it’s unusual to see an adult, tattooed, dreadlocked white lady as a lead. You see ’em around but they don’t usually make movies about them. Nice to have something different sometimes. (read the rest of this shit…)
WAYS YOU CAN SUPPORT THE SHIT OUT OF VERN & OUTLAWVERN.COM
if that's your thing:
1. Patreon
Toss me a couple bucks a month, support the good shit, also get access to a bunch of exclusive writing. This is my primary source of writing money that has allowed me to cut down to part time at the day job. Thank you!
2. Buy my books from your local bookseller or somebody
(NOTE: My ten year contract has passed on the Titan books, so I don't get residuals on them like I do WORM ON A HOOK and NIKETOWN, but I would love for you to read them because I'm proud of them)
EXTRA CREDIT: Review them on Amazon! That would really help me out. Unless you didn't like them, in which case forget I said anything.
3. If you ever buy from Amazon, go through my links or search engines
(you pay the same amount you were gonna pay anyway they cut me a little slice)
I also have an Amazon UK one:
(I can't get the search box widget to work anymore, so click on MOONWALKER and then search for what you want.)
4. My exciting line of fashion and leisure products
(I get a couple bucks per item, you get a cool t-shirt, mug or lifestyle item)
5. Spread the word
Tell your friends about my reviews and my books and everything. Only cool people though please, we don't need a bunch of suckers and/or chumps around here.
THANKS EVERYBODY. YOUR FRIEND, VERN
* * * *
Recent commentary and jibber-jabber
pegsman on Play Dirty: “Yeah, you’re right about that Mitch. As it happens I re-watched CHARLEY VARRICK last weekend, and Miguel might just have…” Oct 8, 22:47
Curt on Tron (plus Tron Legacy on the blu-ray): “I just saw TRON: ARES tonight and heartily recommend it to anyone who liked anything about the first two movies…” Oct 8, 19:26
Ben C. on A Better Tomorrow: “OK I am seriously late to the party on this one but jeezus kee-rist what a movie!! Just walked out…” Oct 8, 18:58
Dreadguacamole on Hell of a Summer / Clown in a Cornfield: “Like (most) everyone else here, I enjoyed CLOWN(S) IN A CORNFIELD well enough. It had some warmth, some fun bits,…” Oct 8, 15:19
Bartel on Jackie Brown: “Also: DEAD PRESIDENTS which has also one of those forgotten but great Chris Tucker performances” Oct 8, 11:28
Mitch on Play Dirty: “I’m not sure what version of Charley Varrick that Miguel Hombre saw but it is certainly very different to the…” Oct 8, 07:51
Skani on Play Dirty: “I recall liking Wahlberg well enough in the SPENSER movie, but I share the consensus that he lacks the gravitas…” Oct 8, 05:00
Skani on Cherry Falls: “I finally caught up with this one, and although it was not great, I liked the cast / performances (particularly…” Oct 8, 04:50
Skani on Hell of a Summer / Clown in a Cornfield: “Okay, well, you’ve piqued my interest enough that I will try it once I can find it at a bargain…” Oct 8, 04:46
walkerp on Play Dirty: “@Acid Burn, you don’t have to read the Parker books in order, but there is a subtle chronology to them…” Oct 8, 03:07
pegsman on Play Dirty: “Guys, I have to go back and correct myself. Of course Brian Garfield did not write the screenplay for THE…” Oct 7, 21:50
Mr. Majestyk on Hell of a Summer / Clown in a Cornfield: “It’s bordering on hilariously bad but doesn’t quite get there. It does do one thing that the SCREAM franchise should…” Oct 7, 17:43
Skani on Hell of a Summer / Clown in a Cornfield: “I agree that the reviews were a little misleading. This is the type of movie that would typically get maybe…” Oct 7, 15:01
Birch on Hell of a Summer / Clown in a Cornfield: “I saw Clown in theaters as well but seem to have had a much more negative reaction than anyone else…” Oct 7, 10:28
The Winchester on Hell of a Summer / Clown in a Cornfield: ““Like… I’d say eight or more.” This cracked me up way more than it should have. Thank you! I saw…” Oct 7, 09:47
SUITABLE FLESH is the latest from Joe Lynch, a director who has a certain credibility in my book because his debut was a DTV sequel. I was mixed-positive on WRONG TURN 2: DEAD END (2007) and wrote some things in the review that I now consider out of line, but I definitely respect its joyful spirit toward sequelizing and in many ways outdoing a studio movie I really wasn’t that into. Since then Lynch has directed a comedy that got taken away from him, the Salma Hayek action vehicle EVERLY, the gory outbreak-in-an-office-building movie MAYHEM (which I liked but apparently didn’t review) and the Frank Grillo/Anthony Mackie car chase buddy movie POINT BLANK. But now he’s returned to horror with a sacred task: to manifest an unfinished project of the late great Stuart Gordon.
This year I celebrated Halloween by taking the day off of work and watching a witch-themed triple feature. This is not something I ever thought I’d do, because I’ve always had that issue with historical witch movies where it kinda bothers me to pretend there’s a such thing as witches, since that’s the superstitious bullshit that real life tyrants used as an excuse to torture and murder many innocent people in this country and elsewhere. But there were a couple witch-related movies I’d been thinking I’d like to rewatch, and at the same time I’d been thinking about my late mother, who loved to dress as a witch every Halloween. She painted her face green and glued on a warty latex nose with spirit gum. Some of the younger kids in the neighborhood were terrified of her, but she got a kick out of it. So I dedicate this witch-a-thon to her.
