SUITABLE FLESH is the latest from Joe Lynch, a director who has a certain credibility in my book because his debut was a DTV sequel. I was mixed-positive on WRONG TURN 2: DEAD END (2007) and wrote some things in the review that I now consider out of line, but I definitely respect its joyful spirit toward sequelizing and in many ways outdoing a studio movie I really wasn’t that into. Since then Lynch has directed a comedy that got taken away from him, the Salma Hayek action vehicle EVERLY, the gory outbreak-in-an-office-building movie MAYHEM (which I liked but apparently didn’t review) and the Frank Grillo/Anthony Mackie car chase buddy movie POINT BLANK. But now he’s returned to horror with a sacred task: to manifest an unfinished project of the late great Stuart Gordon.
I didn’t realize it from the name, but it’s one of those unfulfilled ambitions we read about for years – here’s an example of Gordon talking it up while promoting STUCK in 2008, but using the title of the H.P. Lovecraft story it’s based on, “The Thing on the Doorstep.” The script is by Gordon’s regular collaborator Dennis Paoli (RE-ANIMATOR, FROM BEYOND, THE PIT AND THE PENDULUM, CASTLE FREAK, DAGON) and it’s produced by RE-ANIMATOR/FROM BEYOND/CASTLE FREAK star Barbara Crampton. (read the rest of this shit…)
This year I celebrated Halloween by taking the day off of work and watching a witch-themed triple feature. This is not something I ever thought I’d do, because I’ve always had that issue with historical witch movies where it kinda bothers me to pretend there’s a such thing as witches, since that’s the superstitious bullshit that real life tyrants used as an excuse to torture and murder many innocent people in this country and elsewhere. But there were a couple witch-related movies I’d been thinking I’d like to rewatch, and at the same time I’d been thinking about my late mother, who loved to dress as a witch every Halloween. She painted her face green and glued on a warty latex nose with spirit gum. Some of the younger kids in the neighborhood were terrified of her, but she got a kick out of it. So I dedicate this witch-a-thon to her.
I chose to view them in order of when they take place: first Rob Eggers’ THE WITCH (1630s), then George A. Romero’s SEASON OF THE WITCH (1970s), and finally Robert Zombie’s THE LORDS OF SALEM (twenty-teens). (read the rest of this shit…)
I didn’t even realize THE LORDS OF SALEM was coming out this week until somebody told me. I never saw an ad or saw the trailer play before another movie. When I saw the Anchor Bay logo at the beginning I thought, “That’s weird, why is the new Rob Zombie movie being distributed by the company that only does barely-released-or-advertised horror like HATCHET or BEHIND THE MASK?” After the movie was over it kinda made more sense.
There are many things I liked about this one. Oddly enough I like that it stars Zombie’s wife, Sheri Moon Zombie. She was a major character in all his other movies, but in this one she’s the center of the whole story and often alone on screen. I like that because it’s unusual to see an adult, tattooed, dreadlocked white lady as a lead. You see ’em around but they don’t usually make movies about them. Nice to have something different sometimes. (read the rest of this shit…)
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Recent commentary and jibber-jabber
Skani on Locked: “With this one I had a lot of trouble with the cramped gimmick, as it just gets boring and repetitive…” Sep 18, 16:17
Skani on Drop: “Glad to see you like this one, Vern. I had about the same reaction. The middle part gets intentionally super…” Sep 18, 16:11
Mr. Majestyk on Drop: “Yeah, I assumed dropping or whatever was a real thing. There are plenty of apps the youth love that I…” Sep 18, 13:44
Bill Reed on Drop: “How do you do, fellow kids: Are drops a real thing? Is that what AirDrop is for? I don’t have…” Sep 18, 12:21
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Mr. Subtlety on Honey Don’t!: “I was extremely relieved to find this was way better than DRIVE-AWAY DOLLS, which I found pretty close to out-and-out…” Sep 18, 06:54
Glaive Robber on Locked: ““It bothers me how accepted it is in the U.S. (and not just by right wingers) that we can only…” Sep 17, 21:53
Plastiquehomme on Sovereign: “@Kaneshiro – yes, that made the news here. Wasn’t he an actual rapist/child molester as well, but managed to ignore…” Sep 17, 19:24
Simon Underwood on Honey Don’t!: “I loved Margaret Qualley in this, and loved Honey as a protagonist but …yeah, no I didn’t get on with…” Sep 17, 12:39
Timo on Locked: “I saw 4×4 back when it came out and I enjoyed it. I’m not really interested in this remake, but…” Sep 17, 12:14
pegsman on The Old Man & the Gun: “I will add a S to “prison drama”. My favorite Redford movie is BRUBAKER, and I really like THE LAST…” Sep 16, 22:37
KayKay on The Old Man & the Gun: “And we lose The Sundance Kid. Man, after Gene Hackman, it’s really becoming a bummer to see the Movie Icons…” Sep 16, 21:39
Miguel Hombre on Honey Don’t!: “As someone who has been watching Coen Brothers movies in the theatre since RAISING ARIZONA it’s safe to say they’re…” Sep 16, 17:38
SUITABLE FLESH is the latest from Joe Lynch, a director who has a certain credibility in my book because his debut was a DTV sequel. I was mixed-positive on WRONG TURN 2: DEAD END (2007) and wrote some things in the review that I now consider out of line, but I definitely respect its joyful spirit toward sequelizing and in many ways outdoing a studio movie I really wasn’t that into. Since then Lynch has directed a comedy that got taken away from him, the Salma Hayek action vehicle EVERLY, the gory outbreak-in-an-office-building movie MAYHEM (which I liked but apparently didn’t review) and the Frank Grillo/Anthony Mackie car chase buddy movie POINT BLANK. But now he’s returned to horror with a sacred task: to manifest an unfinished project of the late great Stuart Gordon.
This year I celebrated Halloween by taking the day off of work and watching a witch-themed triple feature. This is not something I ever thought I’d do, because I’ve always had that issue with historical witch movies where it kinda bothers me to pretend there’s a such thing as witches, since that’s the superstitious bullshit that real life tyrants used as an excuse to torture and murder many innocent people in this country and elsewhere. But there were a couple witch-related movies I’d been thinking I’d like to rewatch, and at the same time I’d been thinking about my late mother, who loved to dress as a witch every Halloween. She painted her face green and glued on a warty latex nose with spirit gum. Some of the younger kids in the neighborhood were terrified of her, but she got a kick out of it. So I dedicate this witch-a-thon to her.
