SUITABLE FLESH is the latest from Joe Lynch, a director who has a certain credibility in my book because his debut was a DTV sequel. I was mixed-positive on WRONG TURN 2: DEAD END (2007) and wrote some things in the review that I now consider out of line, but I definitely respect its joyful spirit toward sequelizing and in many ways outdoing a studio movie I really wasn’t that into. Since then Lynch has directed a comedy that got taken away from him, the Salma Hayek action vehicle EVERLY, the gory outbreak-in-an-office-building movie MAYHEM (which I liked but apparently didn’t review) and the Frank Grillo/Anthony Mackie car chase buddy movie POINT BLANK. But now he’s returned to horror with a sacred task: to manifest an unfinished project of the late great Stuart Gordon.
I didn’t realize it from the name, but it’s one of those unfulfilled ambitions we read about for years – here’s an example of Gordon talking it up while promoting STUCK in 2008, but using the title of the H.P. Lovecraft story it’s based on, “The Thing on the Doorstep.” The script is by Gordon’s regular collaborator Dennis Paoli (RE-ANIMATOR, FROM BEYOND, THE PIT AND THE PENDULUM, CASTLE FREAK, DAGON) and it’s produced by RE-ANIMATOR/FROM BEYOND/CASTLE FREAK star Barbara Crampton. (read the rest of this shit…)
This year I celebrated Halloween by taking the day off of work and watching a witch-themed triple feature. This is not something I ever thought I’d do, because I’ve always had that issue with historical witch movies where it kinda bothers me to pretend there’s a such thing as witches, since that’s the superstitious bullshit that real life tyrants used as an excuse to torture and murder many innocent people in this country and elsewhere. But there were a couple witch-related movies I’d been thinking I’d like to rewatch, and at the same time I’d been thinking about my late mother, who loved to dress as a witch every Halloween. She painted her face green and glued on a warty latex nose with spirit gum. Some of the younger kids in the neighborhood were terrified of her, but she got a kick out of it. So I dedicate this witch-a-thon to her.
I chose to view them in order of when they take place: first Rob Eggers’ THE WITCH (1630s), then George A. Romero’s SEASON OF THE WITCH (1970s), and finally Robert Zombie’s THE LORDS OF SALEM (twenty-teens). (read the rest of this shit…)
I didn’t even realize THE LORDS OF SALEM was coming out this week until somebody told me. I never saw an ad or saw the trailer play before another movie. When I saw the Anchor Bay logo at the beginning I thought, “That’s weird, why is the new Rob Zombie movie being distributed by the company that only does barely-released-or-advertised horror like HATCHET or BEHIND THE MASK?” After the movie was over it kinda made more sense.
There are many things I liked about this one. Oddly enough I like that it stars Zombie’s wife, Sheri Moon Zombie. She was a major character in all his other movies, but in this one she’s the center of the whole story and often alone on screen. I like that because it’s unusual to see an adult, tattooed, dreadlocked white lady as a lead. You see ’em around but they don’t usually make movies about them. Nice to have something different sometimes. (read the rest of this shit…)
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Recent commentary and jibber-jabber
CJ Holden on The Phantom (30th slamiversary revisit): “Its reputation as actually really fun movie definitely grew through the years. In that regard it probably benefited from not…” Jun 15, 14:10
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Alex R on The Phantom (30th slamiversary revisit): “That’s right, The Phantom is the ultimate ally. I didn’t ‘watch’ The Phantom, I sat my white ass down and…” Jun 15, 08:29
Bill Reed on Masters of the Universe (2026): “Agreed with most here, in that it baffles me that they spent decades of development and $200 million to lovingly…” Jun 15, 08:01
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Adam C aka TaumpyTearrs on I Love Boosters: “Goddamn what a treat this was. Love the cast, the music, the look. Love the Katamari Damacy-style ball of anxiety.…” Jun 13, 23:11
VERN on The Furious: “Update on the language: I had heard that Lionsgate made a dub with the original actors and digitally conforming the…” Jun 13, 15:00
Bill Reed on I Love Boosters: “I’m on record as believing SORRY TO BOTHER YOU is a top 5 movie of the 21st century, so my…” Jun 12, 05:49
renfield on I Love Boosters: “I’m with Vern at every point here as well. I thought the straightforward earnestness of the ending was real nice,…” Jun 11, 21:54
MdM on The Furious: “Choreography- I’ve never seen anything this extravagant. I wish they remembered they were making a movie – not just an…” Jun 11, 17:53
Paul Constant on I Love Boosters: “Great review, Vern. I’m in complete agreement about the movie and The Coup. One thing I learned after watching the…” Jun 11, 14:50
grimgrinningchris on Heaven’s Prisoners: “My only memory of the movie is that they WERE real, but decidedly nothing near “spectacular”.” Jun 11, 12:41
Felix Ng on The Furious: “Just came back from this. Some incredible martial arts here. Especially the 4 way fight at the police station in…” Jun 11, 02:38
KayKay on The Furious: ““It’s set in unspecified Southeast Asia” Yup…this is square in the territory of your standard China Web Movie, which takes…” Jun 10, 23:21
SUITABLE FLESH is the latest from Joe Lynch, a director who has a certain credibility in my book because his debut was a DTV sequel. I was mixed-positive on WRONG TURN 2: DEAD END (2007) and wrote some things in the review that I now consider out of line, but I definitely respect its joyful spirit toward sequelizing and in many ways outdoing a studio movie I really wasn’t that into. Since then Lynch has directed a comedy that got taken away from him, the Salma Hayek action vehicle EVERLY, the gory outbreak-in-an-office-building movie MAYHEM (which I liked but apparently didn’t review) and the Frank Grillo/Anthony Mackie car chase buddy movie POINT BLANK. But now he’s returned to horror with a sacred task: to manifest an unfinished project of the late great Stuart Gordon.
This year I celebrated Halloween by taking the day off of work and watching a witch-themed triple feature. This is not something I ever thought I’d do, because I’ve always had that issue with historical witch movies where it kinda bothers me to pretend there’s a such thing as witches, since that’s the superstitious bullshit that real life tyrants used as an excuse to torture and murder many innocent people in this country and elsewhere. But there were a couple witch-related movies I’d been thinking I’d like to rewatch, and at the same time I’d been thinking about my late mother, who loved to dress as a witch every Halloween. She painted her face green and glued on a warty latex nose with spirit gum. Some of the younger kids in the neighborhood were terrified of her, but she got a kick out of it. So I dedicate this witch-a-thon to her.
